UNPALATABLE TRUTHS.
"YES," said Claire, "I will try."
But she said it with a long-drawn sigh. This was work that was utterly
distasteful to her, and she saw but little hope of accomplishing
anything by attempting it.
She wanted to fight the demon of alcohol wherever found--at least, she
had thought that she did; but who would have supposed that it could
bring her into such strange contact with Mrs. Russel Ansted?
In order that you may understand why this plan of rescue had suggested
itself to Alice Ansted's mind, it will be necessary to explain that the
acquaintance which had been commenced by accident had been allowed to
mature into what might almost be called friendship.
At least, it had pleased Mrs. Ansted to encourage the intimacy between
her young people and the attractive music-teacher.
"It is not as though she had been simply a music-teacher, and nothing
else, all her life," was Mrs. Ansted wont to explain to her city
friends. "She is a daughter of the Boston Benedicts, and, of course,
her opportunities have been rare. She is simply faultless in her
manners; the girls learn a great deal from her, and are devoted to her,
and she really is a charming companion. You know in the country we have
no society."
So Claire had been made almost oppressively welcome to the lovely house
on the hill, and the sleigh or the carriage had been sent for her many
times when she could not go, and in many kind and pleasant ways had
the entire family sought to show their interest in her society. Mrs.
Ansted, indeed, patronized her to such an extent that Alice had made
herself imagine that in this direction might be found the light which
would open the mother's eyes to certain things which she ought to see
and did not.
Claire did not share her hopes. She had always felt herself held back
from real heart intimacy with the fair and worldly woman; had always
detected the tinge of patronage in the kindness shown her, and had
even smiled sometimes at the thought of how the very attentions which
she received placidly, and, in a sense gratefully, would chafe her
hot-headed young sister Dora. It had given her joy of heart and cause
for gratitude to realize that she herself had been lifted above such
chafings. There were trials in her lot, but Mrs. Ansted's patronage was
not one of them. Still it made her feel that little would be gained by
attempted interference in her family affairs. Under the circumstances,
she felt herself intrusive, yet determined to submit and thereby
convince Alice of her willingness and powerlessness. The most she had
to fear was a little drawing up of the aristocratic shoulders, and a
cold and courteous hint that some things belonged exclusively to the
domain of very close friendship.
It was on the following Saturday that opportunity offered for an
attempt. Claire was spending the day with the Ansteds; the invitation
had come from the mother, and was unusually cordial. Louis was in town,
would probably remain over the Sabbath, and the girls were lonely. The
mother did not know how much more readily the invitation was accepted
because Louis was in town.
They were in Mrs. Ansted's own sitting-room. The young girls had been
called to the sewing-room at the mandate of the dressmaker, and Alice,
telegraphing Claire that now was her opportunity, slipped away. Have
you ever observed how much harder it becomes to set about a delicate
and embarrassing duty when circumstances have been carefully made for
you, and you are left to stare in the face the thought "I am to do this
thing, _now_; it is expected of me?"
Immediately Claire began to feel that it would be preposterous in her
to try to advise or enlighten Mrs. Ansted. But that lady unconsciously
helped her by asking:
"Did you ever meet Mr. Harold Chessney in Boston? I believe he calls
that his home, though he is abroad a great deal. I wish he were abroad
now, instead of planning an excursion to the Rocky Mountains and all
sorts of out-of-the-world places, and putting Louis into a fever to
accompany him. I have a horror of those Western expeditions entered
into by young men. Louis will not go contrary to my approval, however,
so I need not worry about it. It is a great comfort to a mother to have
a dutiful son, my dear."
"It must be," Claire hastened to say, but added that she should think
it would be a delightful trip for a young man, and a rare opportunity
to see his own country. She was not personally acquainted with Mr.
Chessney, but she had heard him very highly spoken of.
"Oh, he is perfection, I suppose," Mrs. Ansted said carelessly; "too
perfect, my dear, for ordinary flesh and blood. He is very wealthy
and very eccentric; has innumerable ways for wasting his money on
savages, and all that sort of thing. I should really almost fear his
influence over Louis, he is such an impressible boy. Harold might fancy
it his duty to become a home missionary." This last was spoken with a
little satisfied laugh, as though Louis Ansted's position was too well
assured, after all, to suggest any reasonable fears of his sinking to
the level of a home missionary! The matron speedily composed her face,
however, and added:
"Harold is a magnificent man, I have no doubt, and if Louis were a
young man of depraved tendencies and low tastes, probably I should
hope for nothing better than to exile him for awhile with such a
guard; but in his position, and with his prospects, the idea is, of
course, absurd. I don't know what fancies Alice has in mind, the child
seems quite to favor Louis' going. Alice is a little inclined to be
fanatical, I am afraid, in some things. I hope you will not encourage
such tendencies, my dear. I have seen with pleasure that she is
becoming more interested in religion, and disposed to help poor Bud,
though she has chosen some foolish ways of doing that--but still it
is quite as it should be to rouse to the importance of these things; I
have been pained with her indifference in the past. However, we should
not carry anything to extremes, you know."
They were not getting on. Claire did not feel like a diplomatist. She
was disposed to be straightforward. Would not simple truth serve her
purpose in this case? At least, it would be less humiliating than to
try to worm herself into family confidences. So she spoke her plain
question:
"Mrs. Ansted, has it never seemed to you that it would be well for
Louis to get away for a time from some of his associates who tempt him
in the direction in which he is least able to bear temptation?"
Plain English was not palatable, or else it was not understood. Two red
spots glowed on the mother's cheek, but her eyes were cold.
"And what is that, if you please? I was not aware that my son was
particularly susceptible to any temptation."
Could this be true? Did she not know that he was tempted to reel home
at midnight like a common drunkard? If so, what an awful revelation for
a stranger to make!
Claire hesitated, and the lady looked steadily at her and waited.
Simple truth should serve her again; it would be insulting to offer
anything else.
"Mrs. Ansted, you will pardon me for referring to it, but I know from
your son's own statements that he is tempted in the direction of
liquor, and that he finds it hard to resist these temptations, and I am
afraid he is in great danger. If I were his mother, and had confidence
in this Mr. Chessney, I should beg him to go out with him, and break
away from his present surroundings."
She was deceived in the mother--in the calm with which she listened to
these words. She did not cry out like one amazed and hurt, nor did she
look like one who was being shocked into a faint; and Claire, watching
her, hurried on, determined to make her disagreeable revelations as
brief as she could, and then to get away from the subject. Surely the
mother could not feel much humiliated before her, when she confessed
that she had received these intimations from the son.
But directly her voice ceased, the mother arose, her own tones low and
ladylike as usual:
"I am not aware, Miss Benedict, that our kind treatment of you can
have furnished any excuse for this direct and open insult. I did not
know that you had succeeded in securing my son's confidence to such a
degree that he had been led to traduce his friends. I can not imagine
his motive; but allow me to say that yours is plain, and will fail. The
lady to whom Mr. Louis Ansted has been paying special attention for
years, can not be thrown off, even by his taking a trip to the Rocky
Mountains; and if you hope to ingratiate yourself in the mother's heart
by trying to arouse her fears, you have made a grievous mistake. My
daughters are evidently more susceptible, and I now understand some
things that were before mysterious to me.
"I am sorry for you, Miss Benedict. I can well imagine that it is a
hard thing to be poor; but it is a pity to add disgrace to poverty. You
have been unwise to try to work up fanatical ideas on my son. We are
none of us temperance fanatics."
There was a dangerous fire in Claire's eyes, but she struggled to keep
back the words that hurried forward, clamoring to be spoken. This woman
before her was old enough to be her mother, and was the mother of a
young man whom she would try to save.
Besides, she had the force of habit to help her. The controlled voice
which belongs to the cultured lady, even under strong provocation, was
as much a part of her as it was of Mrs. Ansted.
"I will pass by your personalities, Mrs. Ansted, as unworthy of you,
and ask you to pardon my apparent intrusion into family affairs, on
the sole ground that I have come into possession of some knowledge
concerning your son's danger which I have reason to believe you do not
possess, and I thought I ought, as a Christian woman, to warn you."
Mrs. Ansted was already repenting of some of her words--beginning, that
is, to realize that she had been unnecessarily insulting to a guest in
her own home, and one whom her son, as well as her daughters, liked and
admired. She was not less angry, but more controlled.
"Possibly you mean well," she said, dropping into the patronizing
tone which was habitual, "and I may have spoken too plainly, in my
haste; a mother's feelings, when she considers the characters of her
children insulted, are sometimes not sufficiently held in check. We
will conclude, Miss Benedict, that your motive was good, though your
words were unfortunate, and your conclusions unwarrantable. My son is
entirely capable of taking care of himself. If you are really sincere
in supposing him to be in danger, because he takes an occasional glass
of wine, it only proves you to be lamentably ignorant of the customs of
polite society. And now I must beg you to excuse me. Excitement always
wearies me, and I feel that I must lie down for awhile. I presume my
daughter will be in soon."
And Claire was left alone to gather her startled thoughts and determine
what to do next. She was greatly excited. In all her imaginings of a
mother's heart, nothing of this kind had occurred.
It had been a serious failure, as she had feared it would be, but not
of the kind which she had planned.
She looked about her for paper on which to write a line to Alice; then
determined that she would do no such thing, lest Alice might have to
bear blame in consequence.
She would just slip quietly away, and go home and think. It was
not clear in her mind what ought to be said to Alice. She had been
insulted, and by Alice's mother, and she could not longer remain a
guest in the house; but perhaps it was not necessary that Alice should
know all this. She must wait, and think, and pray.
At least, it would not be wise to make any expression about Mrs.
Ansted until she could think less bitterly of the words spoken to her;
for it is by no means a pleasant thing to be misjudged, and it is
especially difficult to keep one's mouth closed when one has that to
tell which would silence all the hints forever. It had required all
the self-control which Claire possessed not to tell Mrs. Ansted to ask
her son whether the insinuations which had been flung at her meant
anything. Certainly she was not in the mood to have an interview with
Alice.
She hastily and quietly possessed herself of her wraps, and stole out
of the house and down the avenue which had in the few weeks past become
so familiar to her. Bud saw her from the distant stables, but he only
made her a most respectful bow. It was no strange sight to him. He knew
that she came and went often during these days; he did not know she was
thinking that in all probability she would never walk down that avenue
again.
There is no use explaining to you that she cried when she reached
home; cried bitterly, and with a perfect abandon, as though her heart
were broken. She was young and had not had many hard words to bear, and
all her sharp thrusts from life had come upon her lately; her knowledge
of human nature had been increasing with painful rapidity, and there
were times when she shrank from it all, and wanted to go to her father.
But after the crying--or, indeed, in the very midst of it--she prayed:
for herself first--she felt so sore, and ill-used, and friendless; then
for Louis Ansted--the special danger and the special friendlessness of
a man with such a mother, took hold of her with power, and at last she
prayed for the mother; not _at_ her, but for her.
There is a way of praying about a soul with whom we are offended--or,
at least, we call it praying--which is simply pouring out one's
knowledge of that person's shortcomings in an almost vindictive way
before the One whom we almost unconsciously feel ought to come to our
help and administer rebuke. Claire honestly prayed for Louis Ansted's
mother. Her eyes must be opened, but how? Must it be that they were to
be opened by the utter ruin of her only son?
That this might not be necessary, Claire prayed, and rose up presently,
almost forgetful that she had received deep wounds, and quite ready to
shield that mother's shortcomings from her children.