Everything came about as Prilukoff had foreseen. Kamarowsky found me the
following evening alone with Tioka at the Bristol Hotel. He overwhelmed
me with reproaches and with endearments.
I maintained a mysterious silence, which he interpreted merely as the
caprice of a spoiled child; nor did he take umbrage at it. He was too
happy at having found me to care to quarrel either with the Fates or
with me. All he said was: "Marie, I shall not leave you again." And the
promise sounded almost like a threat.
For some time Prilukoff gave no sign. I might have thought he had
forgotten me. He had fixed a definitive space of time: ten days.
On the eighth day he sent me a note, telling me to come to the Hotel
Victoria that evening at nine o'clock. He would then provide we with
what was needful. I was not to fail--or he would come himself.
I dined with Paul Kamarowsky as usual; then, pleading a headache, I
retired to my room at eight o'clock.
Half an hour later a closed carriage was conveying me to the Hotel
Victoria.
From Prilukoff's hands I received a syringe, two tiny bottles, and a box
filled with globules of curare, nitrate of amyl and chloroform. From his
set gray lips I received instructions how to use these things. His teeth
were chattering as well as my own; his hands were ice-cold and his eyes
distraught.
Then I fell on my knees at his feet. I implored him with all the
strength of desperation to forego his abominable purpose. I reminded him
of his past, of his unsullied youth, of the kind and generous love that
had at first bound him to me; with tears streaming down my face I clung
to his knees and swore to him eternal gratitude, eternal devotion, if
only he would not stain my soul with crime, if only he would not ruin
himself forever with so dark and vile a deed.
I beat my forehead against his feet, entreating of him death for myself,
but pity, pity for a generous, chivalrous man whose only wish was to
protect and save me.
What heaven-inspired words were granted me that I was able to move him?
I cannot tell; but suddenly a great shudder went through him and
agonized sobs shook his frame. He bent down and raised me. Then he sank
into an armchair and wept aloud with uplifted face, a terrible spectacle
of anguish and desolation.
I also wept, kneeling beside him, kissing his hands, thanking him,
blessing him.
"Donat, dearest, do not weep! It has been all a dream--a fearful dream.
We were ill--we were poor demented creatures. God will not remember it--He
will cancel and forgive everything. Let us thank Him, Donat, for not
permitting us to do harm to any one. Let us begin life all over again--a
new, honorable life."
"Ah, no," groaned Prilukoff. "I am a criminal. I have stolen!"
"Never mind, never mind. You will give it all back. I will help you to
give it all back. We must be prepared to face suffering and humiliation,
but we shall atone; we shall take up our lives again, and retrieve and
redeem the past."
Even while I spoke I resolved that I would confess everything to
Kamarowsky, and this thought filled me with joy. I would reveal to him
the darkest recesses of my soul; I would confess the iniquitous
treachery plotted against him, my every act of baseness and of shame. He
would drive me from him in loathing, he would tread me under foot like
some poisonous thing, but I would bow my head beneath his wrath and his
disdain. I would go far away and live the rest of my life in humility
and penitence. I would perhaps link my fate with that of Prilukoff, the
degraded outcast ... yes, my penance should be to stay forever with him
who inspired me now with so much horror and fear....
Carried away by an ecstasy of feeling, we knelt down in that paltry
hotel-room and thanked God for having opened our eyes, for having
touched our hearts, for having saved us. Then praying aloud: "_Lord, let
not our sins be counted against us_..." we broke the syringe and the
phials of poison into a thousand fragments. Prilukoff tore the flesh of
his hands as he snapped the hollow steel needle, which thrust itself
into his palm like some fierce, living thing. "_Blot out our
transgressions and remember not our iniquities_..." We trampled on the
globules of amyl and chloroform, setting free the lethal vapors, which
turned us giddy. Intoxicated with them and with our own emotions we fell
once more on our knees, praying with uplifted hands: "_Deliver us from
our sins_ ... _of Thy mercy save us_ ... _save us_..."