"I have had pity," he shouted. "I have always had pity--nothing but pity.
You were ill and miserable and alone, and I left my home in order to
stay with you. You wept, and I comforted you. You had no money, and I
stole it for you. How could I have more pity?" He was himself in tears.
"And now, because I am degraded and a criminal on your account, you
leave me, you fling me aside and you marry an honest man. And I may go
to perdition or to penal servitude."
"Do not speak like that, I implore you."
"Ah, but Countess Tarnowska, if I go to penal servitude, so shall you. I
swear it. I am a thief and may become a murderer; but if I go to prison,
you go too." He collapsed upon the sofa and hid his face in his hands.
As I stood looking down upon him I saw as in a vision the somber road to
ruin that this man had traversed for my sake, and I fell on my knees at
his feet.
"Donat! Donat! Do not despair. Forgive me, forgive me! Go back, and
return the money you have taken; go back and become an honest man
again!"
He raised a haggard face in which his wild, bloodshot eyes seemed almost
phosphorescent.
"There is no going back. By this time all Moscow knows that I have
absconded, and carried off with me the money that was confided to my
care."
"But if you go back at once and return it?"
"I am ruined all the same. I am utterly lost and undone. Who would ever
place their trust in me again? Who would ever rely upon my honor? No, I
am a criminal, and every one knows it. The brand of infamy is not to be
cancelled by a flash of tardy remorse. I am done for. I am a thief, and
that is all there is about it."
A thief! I had never seen a thief. In my imagination thieves were all
slouching, unkempt roughs, with caps on their heads, and colored
handkerchiefs tied round their throats. And here was this gentleman in
evening dress--this gentleman who had been introduced to me as a
celebrated and impeccable lawyer, who had been my lover, and Tioka's
friend, and Elise's Lohengrin--and he was a thief!