[The following is a good instance of an elaborate story and a sharp
retort.]
It is not always safe to presume upon the timidity or ignorance of folks.
The most demure may be the most courageous. A gentleman who attempted
to play a practical joke in order to test the courage of a servant, was
nonplused in a very unexpected way. Here is his story:
I am very particular about fastening the doors and windows of my house. I
do not intend to leave them open at night as an invitation to burglars to
enter. You see, I was robbed once in that way last year, and I never mean
to be again; so when I go to bed I like to be sure that every door and
window is securely fastened.
Last winter my wife engaged a big, strong country girl, and the new-comer
was very careless about the doors at night. On two or three occasions I
came down-stairs to find a window up or the back door unlocked. I cautioned
her, but it did her no good. I therefore determined to frighten her. I got
some false whiskers, and one night about eleven o'clock I crept down the
back-stairs to the kitchen, where she was. She had turned down the gas, and
was in her chair by the fire fast asleep, as I could tell by her breathing,
but the moment I struck a match she awoke.
I expected a great yelling and screaming, but nothing of the sort took
place. She bounced out of her seat with a "You villain!" on her lips,
seized a chair by the back, and before I had made a move she hit me over
the head, forcing me to my knees. I tried to get up, tried to explain who I
was, but in vain. Before I could get out of the room she struck me again,
and it was only after I had tumbled up the back-stairs that she gave
the alarm. Then she came up to my room, rapped at the door, and coolly
announced:
"Mr. ----, please get up. I've killed a burglar."