[The comment upon this incident by the editor is not less amusing than the
speech.]
It is not always a pleasant thing to be called upon suddenly to address a
public meeting of any sort, as is amusingly illustrated by the following
speech at the opening of a free hospital by one who was certainly not born
an orator:
"Gentlemen--ahem--I--I--I rise to say--that is, I wish to propose a toast,
which I think you'll all say--ahem--I think, at least, that this toast is,
as you'll say, the toast of the occasion. Gentlemen, I belong to a good
many of these things, and I say, gentlemen, that this hospital requires no
patronage--at least, what I mean is, you don't want any recommendation.
You've only got to be ill--got to be ill."
"Now, gentlemen, I find by the report" (turning over the leaves in a
fidgety way) "that from the year seventeen--no eighteen--no, ah, yes, I'm
right--eighteen hundred and fifty--no, it's a '3'--thirty-six--eighteen
hundred and thirty-six, no less than one hundred and ninety-three
millions--no! ah!" (to a committeeman at his side) "Eh? oh, yes, thank
you--yes--one hundred and ninety-three thousand--two millions--no" (after a
close scrutiny at the report) "two hundred and thirty-one--one hundred and
ninety-three thousand, two hundred and thirty-one! Gentlemen, I beg to
propose--success to this admirable institution!"
To what the large and variously stated figures referred no one in the
audience ever felt positive, but all agreed, as he had said they would,
that this was the toast of the evening.