If it is a good maxim not to halloo till you are out of the woods, our kind
host and hostess must be very quiet this evening, for it seems to me that
they are in the thick of it. If their friends had been about to burn them
alive instead of to wish them joy on their fifth wedding-day, they could
scarcely have brought a greater quantity of combustible material to the
sacrifice. What shall we say to them on this ligneous occasion? Of course,
we must congratulate them on their willingness to renew their matrimonial
vows after five years of double-blessedness. In this age of divorce it is
something worthy of note, that a pair who have been one and inseparable for
even so short a period as the twentieth part of a century, should stand up
proudly before the world and propose to strengthen the original compact
with a new one. They look as happy and contented as if they had never heard
of Chicago, or seen those tempting little advertisements in the newspapers
that propose to separate man and wife with immediate dispatch for a
reasonable consideration. Instead of going to court to cut the nuptial bond
in twain, it appears that they have been _courting_ for five years
with the view of being remarried this evening. Vaccination, it is said,
wears out in seven years, but matrimony, we see, in this instance, at
least, takes a stronger hold of the parties inoculated as time rolls on;
and although in this case they are willing to go through the operation
again, it is not for the sake of making assurance doubly sure, but in order
to enjoy marriage as a luxury. With this happy specimen of a wooden wedding
before them our young unmarried friends will see that they can go into the
_joinery_ business with but little risk of getting into the wrong
box. In fact, it is because connubial bliss beats every other species
of felicity all hollow that we have met this evening to requite it with
hollow-ware. In the name of all their friends I affectionately congratulate
the doubly-married pair on their past happiness and future prospects, and
hope they may live to celebrate their fiftieth wedding day and receive a
_golden_ reward.