sacrifice, the blood, the bones, and other mangled parts of human bodies
appeared in my sight; and so fired was I with indignation, that I was
fully resolved to be revenged on the first that came there, though I
lost my life in the execution. It then appeared to me, that the visits
which they make to this island are not very frequent, it being fifteen
months before they came again; but still I was very uneasy, by reason of
the dismal apprehensions of their surprising me unawares; nor dared I
offer to fire a gun on that side of the island where they used to
appear, lest, taking the alarm, the savages might return with many
hundred canoes, and then God knows in what manner I should have made my
end. Thus was I a year or more before I saw any of these devouring
cannibals again.
But to wave this, the following accident, which demands attention, for a
while eluded the force of my thoughts in revenging myself on
those Heathens.
On the 16th of May (according to my wooden calendar) the wind blew
exceedingly hard, accompanied with abundance of lightning and thunder
all day, and succeeded by a very stormy night. The seeming anger of the
Heavens made me have recourse to my Bible. While I was seriously
pondering upon it, I was suddenly alarmed with the noise of a gun, which
I conjectured was fired upon the ocean. Such an unusual surprise made me
start up in a minute, when, with my ladder, ascending the mountain as
before, that very moment a flash of fire presaged the report of another
gun which I presently heard, and found it was from that part of the sea
where the current drove me away. I could not but then think, that this
must be a ship in distress, and that there were the melancholy signals
for a speedy deliverance. Great, indeed, was my sorrow upon this
occasion; but my labours to assist them must have proved altogether vain
& fruitless. However, I brought together all the dry wood that was at
hand, and making a pretty large pile, set it on fire on the hill. I was
certain they plainly perceived it, by their firing another gun as soon
as it began to blaze, and after that several more from the same quarter.
All night long I kept up my fire: and when the air cleared up, I
perceived something a great way at sea, directly E. but could not
distinguish what it was, even with my glass, by reason that the weather
was so very foggy out at sea. However, keeping my eyes directly fixed
upon it, and perceiving it did not stir, I presently concluded it must
be a ship at anchor, and so very hasty I was to be satisfied, that
taking the gun, I went to the S.E. part of the island, to the same rocks
where I had been formerly drove away by the current, in which time the
weather being perfectly cleared up, to my great sorrow, I perceived the
wreck of a ship cast away upon those hidden rocks I found when I was out
with my boat; and which, by making a kind of an eddy, were the occasion
of my preservation.
Thus, _what is one man's safety is another's ruin_; for undoubtedly this
ship had been driven on them in the night, the wind blowing strong at
E.N.E. Had they perceived the island, as I now guessed they had not,
certainly, instead of firing there guns for help, they would rather have
ventured in their boat and saved themselves that way. I then thought,
that perhaps they had done so, upon seeing my fire, and were cast away
in the attempt: for I perceived no boat in the ship. But then I again
imagined, that, perhaps, they had another vessel in company, which, upon
signal, saved their lives, and took the boat up: or that the boat might
be driven into the main ocean, where these poor creatures might be in
the most miserable condition. But as all these conjectures were very
uncertain, I could do no more than commiserate there distress, and thank
God for delivering me, in particular, when so many perished in the
raging ocean.
When I considered seriously every thing concerning this wreck, and could
perceive no room to suppose any of them saved, I cannot explain, by any
possible force of words, what longings my soul felt on this occasion,
often breaking out in this manner: _O that there had been but two or
three, nay even one person saved, that we might have lived together,
conversed with, and comforted one another!_ and so much were my desires
moved, that when I repeated these words, _Oh! that there had been but
one!_ my hands would clench together, and my fingers press the palms of
my hands to close, that, had any soft thing been between, it would have
crushed it involuntarily, while my teeth would strike together, and set
against each other so strong that it required some time for me to
part them.
Till the last year of my being on this island, I never knew whether or
not any had been saved out of this ship. I had the affliction, some time
after, to see the corpse of a drowned boy come on shore, at the end of
the island which was next the shipwreck; there was nothing on him but a
seaman's waistcoat, a pair of opened kneed linen drawers, and a blue
linen shirt, but no particular mark to guess what nation he was of. In
his pocket were two pieces of eight, and a tobacco-pipe, the last of
which I preferred much more than I did the first. And now the calmness
of the sea tempted me to venture out in my boat to this wreck, not only
to get something necessary out of the ship, but perhaps, some living
creature might be on board, whose life I might preserve. This had such
an influence upon my mind, that immediately I went home, and prepared
every thing necessary for the voyage, carrying on board my boat
provisions of all sorts, with a good quantity of rum, fresh water, and a
compass: so putting off, I paddled the canoe along the shore, till I
came at last to the north-east part of the island, from whence I was to
launch into the ocean; but here the currents ran so violently, and
appeared so terrible, that my heart began to fail me; foreseeing that if
I was driven into any of these currents, I might be carried not only out
of reach or sight of the island, but even inevitably lost in the boiling
surges of the ocean.
So oppressed was I at these troubles, that I gave over my enterprize,
sailing to a little creek on the shore, where stepping out, I set me
down on a rising hill, very pensive and thoughtful. I then perceived
that the tide was turned; and the flood came on, which made it
impracticable for me to go out for so many hours. To be more certain how
the sets of the tides or currents lay when the flood came in, I ascended
a higher piece of ground, which overlooked the sea both ways; and here I
found that as the current of the ebb set out close by the south point of
the island, so the current of the flood set in close by the shore of the
north side; and all that I had to do was to keep to the north of the
island in my return.
That night I reposed myself in my canoe, covered with my watch coat,
instead of a blanket, the heavens being my tester. I set out with the
first of the tide full north, till I felt the benefit of the current,
which carried me at a great rate eastward, yet not with such impetuosity
as before, as to take from me all government of my canoe; so that in two
hours time I came up to the wreck, which appeared to me a most
melancholy sight. It seemed to be a Spanish vessel by its building,
stuck fast between two rocks; her stern and quarter beaten to pieces by
the sea; her mainmast and foremast were brought off by the board, that
is broken off short. As I approached near, I perceived a dog on board,
who seeing me coming, yelped and cried, and no sooner did I call him,
but the poor creature jumped into the sea, out of which I took him up,
almost famished with hunger and thirst; so that when I gave him a cake
of bread, no ravenous wolf could devour it more greedily; and he drank
to that degree of fresh water, that he would have burst himself, had I
suffered him.
The first sight I met with in the ship, were two men drowned in the
cook-room or forecastle, inclosed in one another's arms: hence I very
probably supposed, that _when the vessel struck in the storm, so high
and incessantly did the waters break in and over her, that the men not
being able to bear it, were strangled by the constant rushing in of the
waves_. There were several casks of liquor, whether wine of brandy, I
could not be positive, which lay in the lower hold, as were plainly
perceptible by the ebbing out of the water, yet were too large for me to
pretend to meddle with; likewise I perceived several chests, which I
supposed to belong to the seamen, two of which I got into my boat,
without examining what was in them. Had the stern of the ship been
fixed, and the forepart broken off, I should have made a very prosperous
voyage; since by what I after found in these two chests, I could not
otherwise conclude, but that the ship must have abundance of wealth on
board; nay, if I must guess by the course she steered, she must have
been bound from the Buenos Ayres, or the Rio de la Plata, in the
southern parts of America, beyond the Brazils, to the Havannah, in the
gulf of Mexico, and so perhaps to Spain. What became of the rest of the
sailors, I could not certainly tell; and all her riches signified
nothing at that time to any body.
Searching farther, I found a cask containing about twenty gallons, full
of liquor, which, with some labour, I got into my boat; in her cabin
were several muskets, which I let remain there; but took away with me a
great powder horn, with about four pounds of powder in it. I took also a
fire-shovel and tongs, two brass kettles, a copper pot to make
chocolate, and a gridiron; all which were extremely necessary to me,
especially the fire-shovel and tongs. And so with this cargo,
accompanied with my dog, I came away, the tide serving for that purpose;
and the same evening, about an hour within night, I attained the island,
after the greatest toil and fatigue imaginable.
That night I reposed my wearied limbs in the boat, resolving the next
morning to harbour what I had gotten in my new-found subterraneous
grotto; & not to carry my cargo home to my ancient castle. Having
refreshed myself, and got all my effects on shore I next proceeded to
examine the particulars; and so tapping the cask, I found the liquor to
be a kind of rum, but not like what we had at the Brazils, nor indeed
near so good. At the opening of the chest, several things appeared very
useful to me; for instance, I found in one a very fine case of bottles,
containing the finest and best sorts of cordial waters; each bottle held
about three pints, curiously tip with silver. I found also two pots full
of the choicest sweetmeats, and two more which the water had utterly
spoiled. There were likewise several good shirts exceedingly welcome to
me, and about one dozen and a half white linen handkerchiefs and
coloured neckcloths, the former of which was absolutely necessary for
wiping my face in a hot day; and, in the till, I found three bags of
pieces of eight, about eleven hundred in all, in one of which, decently
wrapped up in a piece of paper, were six doubloons of gold, and some
small bars and wedges of the same metal, which I believe might weigh
near a pound. In the other chest, which I guessed to belong to the
gunner's mate, by the mean circumstances which attended it, I found only
some clothes of very little value, except about two pounds of fine
glazed powder, in three flasks, kept, as I believe, for charging their
fowling pieces on any occasion; so that, on the whole, I had no great
advantage by this voyage. The money was indeed as mere dirt to me,
useless and unprofitable, all which I would freely have parted with for
two or three pair of English shoes and stockings; things that for many
years I had not worn, except lately those which I had taken of the feet
of those unfortunate men I found drowned in the wreck, yet not so good
as English shoes either for ease or service. I also found in the
seaman's chest about fifty pieces of eight in royals, but no gold; so
concluded that what I took from the first belonged to an officer, the
latter appearing to have a much inferior person for its owner. However,
as despicable as the money seemed, I likewise lugged it to my cave,
laying it up securely, as I did the rest of my cargo; and after I had
done all this, I returned back to my boat, rowing and paddling her along
till I came to my old harbour, where I carefully laid her up, and so
made the best of my way to my castle. When I arrived there, every thing
seemed safe and quiet: so that now my only business was to repose myself
after my wonted manner, and take care of my domestic affairs. But though
I might have lived very easy, as wanting nothing absolutely needful, yet
still I was more vigilant than usual upon account of the savages, never
going much abroad; or, if I did, it was to the east part of the island,
where I was well assured that the savages never came, and where I might
not be troubled to carry that heavy load of weapons for my defence, as I
was obliged to do if I went the other way.
Two years did I live in this anxious condition, in all which time,
contrary to my former resolutions, my head was filled with nothing but
projects and designs, how I might escape from this island; and so much
were my wandering thoughts bent upon a rambling disposition that had I
had the same boat that I went from Sallee in, I should have ventured
once more to the uncertainty of the raging ocean.
I cannot, however, but consider myself as one of the unhappy persons,
who make themselves wretched by there dissatisfaction with the stations
which God has placed them in; for, not to take a review of my primitive
condition, and my father's excellent advice, the going contrary to which
was, as I may say, my original sin, the following mistakes of the same
nature certainly had been the means of my present unhappy station. What
business had I to leave a settled fortune, and well stocked plantation,
improving and increasing, where, by this time, I might have been worth a
hundred thousand moidores, to turn supercargo to Guinea, to fetch
Negroes, when time and patience would so much enlarge my stock at home,
as to be able to employ those whose more immediate business it was to
fetch them home even to my door?
But as this is commonly the fate of young heads, so a serious reflection
upon the folly of it ordinarily attends the exercise of future years,
when the dear bought experience of time teaches us repentance. Thus was
it with me; but not withstanding the thoughts of my deliverance ran so
strongly in my mind, that is seemed to check all the dictates of reason
and philosophy. And now to usher in my kind reader with greater pleasure
to the remaining part of my relation, I flatter myself it will not be
taken amiss, to give him an account of my first conceptions of the
manner of escaping, and upon what foundation I laid my foolish schemes.
Having retired to my castle, after my late voyage to the ship, my
frigate laid up and secured, as usual, and my condition the same as
before, except being richer, though I had as little occasion for riches
as the Indians of Peru had for gold, before the cruel Spaniards came
among them: One night in March, being the rainy season in the four and
twentieth year of my solitude, I lay down to sleep, very well in health,
without distemper pain, or uncommon uneasiness, either of body or mind;
yet notwithstanding, I could not compose myself to sleep all the night
long. All this tedious while, it is impossible to express what
innumerable thoughts came into my head. _I traced quite over the whole
history of my life in miniature, from my utmost remembrance of things
till I came to this island, and then proceeded to examine every action
and passage that had occurred since I had taken possession of my
kingdom._ In my reflections upon the latter, I was _comparing the happy
posture of my affairs from the beginning of my reign, to this life of
anxiety, fear, and concern, since I had discovered a print of a foot in
the sand; that while I continued without apprehension, I was incapable
of feeling the dread and terror I now suffered._ How thankful rather
ought I to have been for the knowledge of my danger, since the greatest
happiness one can be possessed of is to have sufficient time to provide
against it? How stupendous is the goodness of Providence, which sets
such narrow bounds to the sight and knowledge of human nature, that
while men walk in the midst of so many dangers they are kept serene and
calm, by having the events of things hid from their eyes and knowing
nothing of those many dangers that surround them, till perhaps they are
dissipated and vanish away.
When I came more particularly to considerer of _the real danger I had
for so many years escaped; how I had walked about in the greatest
security and tranquility, at a time, perhaps, when even nothing but the
brow of a hill, a great tree, or the common approach of night, had
interposed between me and the destructive hands of the cannibals, who
would devour me with as good an appetite, as I would a pigeon or
curlew;_ surely all this, I say, could not but make me sincerely
thankful to my great Preserver, whose singular protection I acknowledge
with the greatest humility, and without which I must inevitably have
fallen into the cruel hands of those devourers.
Having thus discussed my thoughts in the clearest manner, according to
my weak understanding, I next proceeded to consider _the wretched nature
of those destroying savages, by seeming, though with great reverence,_
to enquire _why God should give up any of his creatures to such
inhumanity, even to brutality itself, to devour its own kind?_ but as
this was rather matter of obstruse speculation, and as my miserable
situation made me think this of mine the most uncomfortable situation in
the world, I then began rather to inquire _what part of the world these
wretches lived in; how far off the coast was from whence they came; why
they ventured over so far from home; what kind of boats conveyed them
hither; and why I could not order myself and my business so, that I
might be able to attack their country, as they were to come to
my kingdom.
But then_ thought I, _how shall I manage myself when I come thither?
what will become of me if I fall into the hands of the savages? or how
shall I escape from them if they make an attempt upon me? and supposing
I should not fall into their power, what shall I do for provisions, or
which way shall I bend my course?_ These counter thoughts threw me into
the greatest horror and confusion imaginable; but then I still looked
upon my present condition to be the most miserable that possibly could
be, and that nothing could be worse, except death _For_ (thought I)
_could I but attain the shore of the main, I might perhaps meet with
some reliefs, or coast it along, as I did with my boy Xury, on the
African shore, till I came to some inhabited country, where I might meet
with some relief, or fall in with some Christian ship that might take me
in; and if I failed, why then I could but meet with death, which would
put an end to all my miseries._ These thoughts, I must confess, were the
fruit of a distempered mind and impatient temper made desperate, as it
were, by long continuance of the troubles and disappointments I had met
with in the wreck; where I hoped to have found some living person to
speak to, by whom I might have known in what place I was, and of the
probable means of my deliverance. Thus, while my thoughts were agitated,
my resignation to the will of heaven was entirely suspended; to that I
had no power to fix my mind to any thing, but to the project of a voyage
to the main land. And indeed so much was I inflamed upon this account,
that it set my blood into a ferment, and my pulse beat high, as though I
had been in a fever; till nature being, as it were, fatigued and
exhausted with the thoughts of it, made me submit myself to a
silent repose.
In such a situation, it is very strange, that I did not dream of what I
was so intent upon; but, instead of it, my mind roved on a quite
different thing, altogether foreign. I dreamed, that as I was issuing
from my castle one morning, as customary, when I perceived upon the
shore two canoes, and eleven savages coming to land, who had brought
with them another Indian, whom they designed to make a sacrifice of, in
order to devour; but just as they were going to give the fatal blow,
methought the poor designed victim jumped away, and ran directly into my
little thick grove before my fortification, to abscond from his enemies,
when perceiving that the others did not follow him that way, I appeared
to him; that he humbly kneeled down before me, seeming to pray for my
assistance; upon which I showed him my ladder, made him ascend, carried
him to my cave, and he became my servant; and when I had gotten this
man, I said to myself, _now surely I may have some hopes to attain the
main land; for this fellow will serve me as a pilot, tell me what to do,
and where I must go for provisions, what places to shun, what to venture
to, and what to escape._ But when I awaked, and found all these
inexpressible impressions of joy entirely vanished, I fell into the
greatest dejection of spirit imaginable.
Yet this dream brought me to reflect, that one sure way of escaping was
to get a savage; that after I had ventured my life to deliver him from
the bloody jaws of his devourers, the natural sense he might have of
such a preservation, might inspire him with a lasting gratitude and most
sincere affection. But then this objection reasonably interposed: _how
can I effect this,_ thought I, _without I attack a whole company of
them, and kill them all? why should I proceed on such a desperate
attempt, which my scruples before had suggested to be unlawful?_ and
indeed my heart trembled at the thoughts of so much blood, though it
were a means to procure my deliverance. 'Tis true, I might reasonably
enough suppose these men to be real enemies to my life, men who would
devour me, was it in their power, so that it was self preservation in
the highest degree to free myself, by attacking them in my own defence,
as lawfully as if they were actually assaulting me: though all these
things, I say, seemed to me to be of the greatest weight, yet, as I just
said before, the dreadful thoughts of shedding human blood, struck such
a terror to my soul, that it was a long time before I could reconcile
myself to it.
But how far will the ardency of desire prompt us on? For notwithstanding
the many disputes and perplexities I had with myself, I at length
resolved, right or wrong, to get one of these savages into my hands,
cost what it would, or even though I should lose my life in the attempt.
Inspired with this firm resolution, I set all my wits at work, to find
out what methods I should take to answer my design: this, indeed, was so
difficult a task, that I could not pitch upon any probable means to
execute it: I, therefore, resolved continually to be in a vigilant
posture, to perceive when the savages came on shore and to leave the
rest to the event, let the opportunities offer as they would.
Such was my fixed resolutions; and accordingly I set myself upon the
scout, as often as I could, till such time as I was heartily tired of
it. I waited for above a year and a half, the greatest part of which I
went out to the west, and south-west corner of the island, almost every
day, to look for canoes, but none appeared. This was a very great
discouragement; yet, though I was very much concerned, the edge of my
design was as keen as ever, and the longer it seemed to be delayed, the
more eager was I for it: in a word, I never before was so careful to
shun the loathing sight of these savages, as I was now eager to be with
them; and I thought myself sufficiently able to manage one, two, or
three savages if I had them, so as to make them my entire slaves, to do
whatsoever I should direct them, and prevent their being able at any
time to do me any mischief. Many times did I used to please myself with
these thoughts, with long and ardent expectations; but nothing
presenting, all my deep projected schemes and numerous fancies vanished
away, as though, while I retained such thoughts, the decrees of
Providence was such, that no savages were to come near me.