At _Challons sur la Soane_, (for there is another town of the same name
in _Champaigne_) I had the _honor_ of a visit from _Mons. le Baron
Shortall_, a gentleman of an ancient family, _rather in distress at this
time_, by being _kept out_ of six and thirty thousand a year, his legal
property in Ireland; but as the Baron made his visit _ala-mode de
capuchin Friar_, without knocking, and when only the female part of my
family were in the apartment, he was dismissed _rather abruptly_ for a
man of _his high rank_ and _great fortune in expectation_. This
dismission, however, did not dismay him; he rallied again, with the
reinforcement of _Madame la Baroness_, daughter, as he positively
affirmed, of _Mons. le Prince de Monaco_; but as I had forbad his being
_shewn up_, he desired me to _come down_, a summons curiosity induced
me to obey. Never, surely, were two people _of fashion_ in a more
pitiable plight! he was in a _russet brown black_ suit of cloaths;
Madame _la Baroness_ in much the same colour, wrapt up in a tattered
black silk capuchin; and I knew not which to admire most, their folly or
their impudence; for surely never did an _adventurer_ set out with less
_capabilities_ about him; his whole story was so flagrant a fib, that in
spite of the _very respectable certificates of My Lord Mayor, John
Wilkes, and Mr. Alderman Bull_, I was obliged to tell him plainly, that
I did not believe him to be a gentleman, nor his wife to be a relation
of the Prince of _Monaco_. All this he took in good part, and then
assured me they were both very hungry, and without meat or money; I
therefore ordered a dinner at twenty _sols_ a head; and, as I sat by
while they eat it, I had reason to believe that he told me _one plain
truth_, for in truth they eat as if they had never eaten before. After
dinner the Baron did me the honour to consult with me _how_ he should
get down to _Lyons_? I recommended to him to proceed by _water_; but,
said he, my dear Sir, I have no money;--an evil I did not chuse to
redress; and, after several unsuccessful attempts at my purse, and some
at my person,--he whispered me that even six livres would be acceptable;
but I held out, and got off, by proposing that the Baroness should write
a letter to the Prince her father, to whom I had the honour to be known,
and that I would carry him the letter, and enforce their prayer, by
making it my own. This measure she instantly complied with, and
addressed her father _adorable Prince_; but concluded it with a name
which could not belong to her either as maid, wife, or widow. I remarked
this to the _Baron_, who acknowledged at once _the mistake_, said she
had signed a false name, and she should write it over again; but when I
observed to him that, as the Prince knew the handwriting of his _own_
dear child, and as the name of women is _often varying by marriage_, or
_miscarriage_, it was all one: to this he agreed; and I brought off the
letter, and my purse too, for forty _sols_; yet there was so much
falshood, folly, and simplicity in this _simple pair of adventurers_,
that I sorely repented I did not give them their passage in the _coche
d'eau_ to _Lyons_; for he could not speak a word of French, nor _Madame
la Baroness_ a word of English; and the only _insignia_ of distinction
between them, was, a vast clumsy brass-hilted sword which the Baron,
instead of wearing at his side, held up at his nose, like a Physician's
gold-headed cane.--When I took my leave of this _Sir James Shortall_,
(for he owned _at last_ he was _only a Baronet_) he promised to meet me
_next time_ dressed in his blue and silver.
I verily believe my Irish _adventurer_ at _Perpignan_, is a gentleman,
and therefore I relieved him; I am thoroughly persuaded my _Challons_
adventurer is not, yet perhaps he was a real object of charity, and his
true tale would have produced him better success than his _borrowed
story_. _Sir James_ was about sixty, _Lady Shortall_ about fifty.--_Sir
James_ too had a pretty large property in America, and would have
visited his estates on that continent, had I not informed him of the
present unhappy differences now subsisting between that and the mother
country, of which he had not heard a single syllable.
After having said thus much, I think I must treat you with a copy of
_Lady Shortall's_ letter, a name very applicable to their unhappy
situation, for they did indeed seem short of every thing;--so here it
is, _verbatim et literatim_:
"_Monsieur Thickness gentilhomme anglaise_
"Adorable preince de monaco que tout mordonne deme, lise au de fus de
cette lette le non deun digne homme qui me randu ser visse, je suis
malade, le convan; serois preferable a mon bouneur je veux sepandant
sauve non marij mais je me meure tre seve mon derinier soupire, je ne le
doit qua vous.
"JULIE BARONNE DE CHATTERRE.
_le 18 May 1776._"
"_A sont altess ele preince de Monaco, dans sont hautelle rue de
Vareinne a Paris_."