This was to me wholly incomprehensible. I could have freely made oath

to the contrary of every particular. Yet the evidences were against me,

and of a nature not to be denied. Here I must confess that, highly as I

disapproved of the love of women, and all intimacies and connections

with the sex, I felt a sort of indefinite pleasure, an ungracious

delight in having a beautiful woman solely at my disposal. But I

thought of her spiritual good in the meantime. My friend spoke of my

backslidings with concern; requesting me to make sure of my

forgiveness, and to forsake them; and then he added some words of sweet

comfort. But from this time forth I began to be sick at times of my

existence. I had heart-burnings, longings, and, yearnings that would

not be satisfied; and I seemed hardly to be an accountable creature;

being thus in the habit of executing transactions of the utmost moment

without being sensible that I did them. I was a being incomprehensible

to myself. Either I had a second self, who transacted business in my

likeness, or else my body was at times possessed by a spirit over which

it had no control, and of whose actions my own soul was wholly

unconscious. This was an anomaly not to be accounted for by any

philosophy of mine, and I was many times, in contemplating it, excited

to terrors and mental torments hardly describable. To be in a state of

consciousness and unconsciousness, at the same time, in the same body

and same spirit, was impossible. I was under the greatest anxiety,

dreading some change would take place momently in my nature; for of

dates I could make nothing: one-half, or two-thirds of my time, seemed

to me totally lost. I often, about this time, prayed with great

fervour, and lamented my hopeless condition, especially in being liable

to the commission of crimes which I was not sensible of and could not

eschew. And I confess, notwithstanding the promises on which I had been

taught to rely, I began to have secret terrors that the great enemy of

man's salvation was exercising powers over me that might eventually

lead to my ruin. These were but temporary and sinful fears, but they

added greatly to my unhappiness.

The worst thing of all was what hitherto I had never felt, and, as yet,

durst not confess to myself, that the presence of my illustrious and

devoted friend was becoming irksome to me. When I was by myself, I

breathed freer, and my step was lighter; but, when he approached, a

pang went to my heart, and, in his company, I moved and acted as if

under a load that I could hardly endure. What a state to be in! And yet

to shake him off was impossible--we were incorporated

together--identified with one another, as it were, and the power was

not in me to separate myself from him. I still knew nothing who he was,

further than that he was a potentate of some foreign land, bent on

establishing some pure and genuine doctrines of Christianity, hitherto

only half understood, and less than half exercised. Of this I could

have no doubts after all that he had said, done and suffered in the

cause. But, alongst with this, I was also certain that he was possessed

of some supernatural power, of the source of which I was wholly

ignorant. That a man could be a Christian and at the same time a

powerful necromancer, appeared inconsistent, and adverse to every

principle taught in our Church and from this I was led to believe that

he inherited his powers from on high, for I could not doubt either of

the soundness of his principles or that he accomplished things

impossible to account for. Thus was I sojourning in the midst of a

chaos of confusion. I looked back on my by-past life with pain, as one

looks back on a perilous journey, in which he has attained his end,

without gaining any advantage either to himself or others; and I looked

forward, as on a darksome waste, full of repulsive and terrific shapes,

pitfalls, and precipices, to which there was no definite bourn, and

from which I turned with disgust. With my riches, my unhappiness was

increased tenfold; and here, with another great acquisition of

property, for which I had pleaed, and which I had gained in a dream, my

miseries and difficulties were increasing. My principal feeling, about

this time, was an insatiable longing for something that I cannot

describe or denominate properly, unless I say it was for utter oblivion

that I longed. I desired to sleep; but it was for a deeper and longer

sleep than that in which the senses were nightly steeped. I longed to

be at rest and quiet, and close my eyes on the past and the future

alike, as far as this frail life was concerned. But what had been

formerly and finally settled in the councils above, I presumed not to

call in question.

In this state of irritation and misery was I dragging on an existence,

disgusted with all around me, and in particular with my mother, who,

with all her love and anxiety, had such an insufferable mode of

manifesting them that she had by this time rendered herself exceedingly

obnoxious to me. The very sound of her voice at a distance went to my

heart like an arrow, and made all my nerves to shrink; and, as for the

beautiful young lady for whom they told me I had been so much

enamoured, I shunned all intercourse with her or hers, as I would have

done with the Devil. I read some of their letters and burnt them, but

refused to see either the young lady or her mother on any account.

About this time it was that my worthy and reverend parent came with one

of his elders to see my mother and myself. His presence always brought

joy with it into our family, for my mother was uplifted, and I had so

few who cared for me, or for whom I cared, that I felt rather gratified

at seeing him. My illustrious friend was also much more attached to him

than any other person (except myself) for their religious principles

tallied in every point, and their conversation was interesting,

serious, and sublime. Being anxious to entertain well and highly the

man to whom I had been so much indebted, and knowing that, with all his

integrity and righteousness, he disdained not the good things of this

life, I brought from the late laird's well-stored cellars various

fragrant and salubrious wines, and we drank, and became merry, and I

found that my miseries and overpowering calamities passed away over my

head like a shower that is driven by the wind. I became elevated and

happy, and welcomed my guests an hundred times; and then I joined them

in religious conversation, with a zeal and enthusiasm which I had not

often experienced, and which made all their hearts rejoice, so that I

said to myself. "Surely every gift of God is a blessing, and ought to

be used with liberality and thankfulness."

The next day I waked from a profound and feverish sleep, and called for

something to drink. There was a servant answered whom I had never seen

before, and he was clad in my servant's clothes and livery. I asked for

Andrew Handyside, the servant who had waited at table the night before;

but the man answered with a stare and a smile:

"What do you mean, sirrah," said I. "Pray what do you here? Or what are

you pleased to laugh at? I desire you to go about your business, and

send me up Handyside. I want him to bring me something to drink."

"Ye sanna want a drink, maister," said the fellow. "Tak a hearty ane,

and see if it will wauken ye up something, sae that ye dinna ca' for

ghaists through your sleep. Surely ye haena forgotten that Andrew

Handyside has been in his grave these six months?"

This was a stunning blow to me. I could not answer further, but sunk

back on my pillow as if I had been a lump of lead, refusing to take a

drink or anything else at the fellow's hand, who seemed thus mocking me

with so grave a face. The man seemed sorry, and grieved at my being

offended, but I ordered him away, and continued sullen and thoughtful.

Could I have again been for a season in utter oblivion to myself, and

transacting business which I neither approved of nor had any connection

with! I tried to recollect something in which I might have been

engaged, but nothing was portrayed on my mind subsequent to the parting

with my friends at a late hour the evening before. The evening before

it certainly was: but, if so, how came it that Andrew Handyside, who

served at table that evening, should have been in his grave six months!

This was a circumstance somewhat equivocal; therefore, being afraid to

arise lest accusations of I know not what might come against me, I was

obliged to call once more in order to come at what intelligence I

could. The same fellow appeared to receive my orders as before, and I

set about examining him with regard to particulars. He told me his name

was Scrape; that I hired him myself; of whom I hired him; and at whose

recommendation I smiled, and nodded so as to let the knave see I

understood he was telling me a chain of falsehoods, but did not choose

to begin with any violent asseverations to the contrary.

"And where is my noble friend and companion?" said I. "How has he been

engaged in the interim?"

"I dinna ken him, sir," said Scrape, "but have heard it said that the

strange mysterious person that attended you, him that the maist part of

folks countit uncanny, had gane awa wi' a Mr. Ringan o' Glasko last

year, and had never returned."

I thanked the Lord in my heart for this intelligence, hoping that the

illustrious stranger had returned to his own land and people, and that

I should thenceforth be rid of his controlling and appalling presence.

"And where is my mother?" said, I. The man's breath cut short, and he

looked at me without returning any answer.--"I ask you where my mother

is?" said I.

"God only knows, and not I, where she is," returned he. "He knows where

her soul is, and, as for her body, if you dinna ken something o' it, I

suppose nae man alive does."

"What do you mean, you knave?" said I. "What dark hints are these you

are throwing out? Tell me precisely and distinctly what you know of my

mother?"

"It is unco queer o' ye to forget, or pretend to forget everything that

gate the day, sir," said he. "I'm sure you heard enough about it

yestreen; an' I can tell you there are some gayan ill-faurd stories

gaun about that business. But, as the thing is to be tried afore the

circuit lords, it wad be far wrang to say either this or that to

influence the public mind; it is best just to let justice tak its swee.

I hae naething to say, sir. Ye hae been a good enough maister to me,

and paid my wages regularly, but ye hae muckle need to be innocent, for

there are some heavy accusations rising against you."

"I fear no accusations of man," said I, "as long as I can justify my

cause in the sight of Heaven; and that I can do this I am well aware.

Go you and bring me some wine and water, and some other clothes than

these gaudy and glaring ones."

I took a cup of wine and water; put on my black clothes and walked out.

For all the perplexity that surrounded me, I felt my spirits

considerably buoyant. It appeared that I was rid of the two greatest

bars to my happiness, by what agency I knew not. My mother, it seemed,

was gone, who had become a grievous thorn in my side of late; and my

great companion and counsellor, who tyrannized over every spontaneous

movement of my heart, had likewise taken himself off. This last was an

unspeakable relief; for I found that for a long season I had only been

able to act by the motions of his mysterious mind and spirit. I

therefore thanked God for my deliverance, and strode through my woods

with a daring and heroic step; with independence in my eye, and freedom

swinging in my right hand.

At the extremity of the Colwan wood, I perceived a figure approaching

me with slow and dignified motion. The moment that I beheld it, my

whole frame received a shock as if the ground on which I walked had

sunk suddenly below me. Yet, at that moment, I knew not who it was; it

was the air and motion of someone that I dreaded, and from whom I would

gladly have escaped; but this I even had not power to attempt. It came

slowly onward, and I advanced as slowly to meet it; yet, when we came

within speech, I still knew not who it was. It bore the figure, air,

and features of my late brother, I thought, exactly; yet in all these

there were traits so forbidding, so mixed with an appearance of misery,

chagrin and despair, that I still shrunk from the view, not knowing in

whose face I looked. But, when the being spoke, both my mental and

bodily frame received another shock more terrible than the first, for

it was the voice of the great personage I had so long denominated my

friend, of whom I had deemed myself for ever freed, and whose presence

and counsels I now dreaded more than Hell. It was his voice, but so

altered--I shall never forget it till my dying day. Nay, I can scarce

conceive it possible that any earthly sounds could be so discordant, so

repulsive to every feeling of a human soul, as the tones of the voice

that grated on my ear at that moment. They were the sounds of the pit,

wheezed through a grated cranny, or seemed so to my distempered

imagination.

"So! Thou shudderest at my approach now, dost thou?" said he. "Is this

all the gratitude that you deign for an attachment of which the annals

of the world furnish no parallel? An attachment which has caused me to

forego power and dominion, might, homage, conquest and adulation: all

that I might gain one highly valued and sanctified spirit to my great

and true, principles of reformation among mankind. Wherein have I

offended? What have I done for evil, or what have I not done for your

good; that you would thus shun my presence?"

"Great and magnificent prince," said I humbly; "let me request of you

to abandon a poor worthless wight to his own wayward fortune, and

return to the dominion of your people. I am unworthy of the sacrifices

you have made for my sake; and, after all your efforts, I do not feel

that you have rendered either more virtuous or more happy. For the sake

of that which is estimable in human nature, depart from me to your own

home, before you render me a being either altogether above or below the

rest of my fellow creatures. Let me plod on towards Heaven and

happiness in my own way, like those that have gone before me, and I

promise to stick fast by the great principles which you have so

strenuously inculcated, on condition that you depart and leave me for

ever."

"Sooner shall you make the mother abandon the child of her bosom; nay,

sooner cause the shadow to relinquish the substance, than separate me

from your side. Our beings are amalgamated, as it were, and consociated

in one, and never shall I depart from this country until I can carry

you in triumph with me."

I can in nowise describe the effect this appalling speech had on me. It

was like the announcement of death to one who had of late deemed

himself free, if not of something worse than death, and of longer

continuance. There was I doomed to remain in misery, subjugated, soul

and body, to one whose presence was become more intolerable to me than

aught on earth could compensate. And at that moment, when he beheld the

anguish of my soul, he could not conceal that he enjoyed it. I was

troubled for an answer, for which he was waiting: it became incumbent

on me to say something after such a protestation of attachment; and, in

some degree to shake the validity of it, I asked, with great

simplicity, where he had been all this while?

"Your crimes and your extravagances forced me from your side for a

season," said he, "but now that I hope the day of grace is returned, I

am again drawn towards you by an affection that has neither bounds nor

interest; an affection for which I receive not even the poor return of

gratitude, and which seems to have its radical sources in fascination.

I have been far, far abroad, and have seen much, and transacted much,

since I last spoke with you. During that space, I grievously suspect

that you have been guilty of great crimes and misdemeanours, crimes

that would have sunk an unregenerated person to perdition; but as I

knew it to be only a temporary falling off, a specimen of that liberty

by which the chosen and elected ones are made free, I closed my eyes on

the wilful debasement of our principles, knowing that the

transgressions could never be accounted to your charge, and that in

good time you would come to your senses, and throw the whole weight of

your crimes on the shoulders that had voluntarily stooped to receive

the load."

"Certainly I will," said I, "as I and all the justified have a good

right to do. But what crimes? What misdemeanours and transgressions do

you talk about? For my part, I am conscious of none, and am utterly

amazed at insinuations which I do not comprehend."

"You have certainly been left to yourself for a season," returned he,

"having gone on rather like a person in a delirium than a Christian in

his sober sense. You are accused of having made away with your mother

privately; as also of the death of a beautiful young lady, whose

affections you had seduced."

"It is an intolerable and monstrous falsehood!" cried I, interrupting,

him. "I never laid a hand on a woman to take away her life, and have

even shunned their society from my childhood. I know nothing of my

mother's exit; nor of that young lady's whom you mention. Nothing

whatever."

"I hope it is so," said he. "But it seems there are some strong

presumptuous proofs against you, and I came to warn you this day that a

precognition is in progress, and that unless you are perfectly

convinced, not only of your innocence but of your ability to prove it,

it will be the safest course for you to abscond, and let the trial go

on without you."

"Never shall it be said that I shrunk from such a trial as this," said

I. "It would give grounds for suspicions of guilt that never had

existence, even in thought. I will go and show myself in every public

place, that no slanderous tongue may wag against me. I have shed the

blood of sinners, but of these deaths I am guiltless; therefore I will

face every tribunal, and put all my accusers down."

"Asseveration will avail you but little," answered he, composedly. "It

is, however, justifiable in its place, although to me it signifies

nothing, who know too well that you did commit both crimes, in your own

person, and with your own hands. Far be it from me to betray you;

indeed, I would rather endeavour to palliate the offences; for, though

adverse to nature, I can prove them not to be so to the cause of pure

Christianity, by the mode of which we have approved of it, and which we

wish to promulgate."

"If this that you tell me be true," said I, "then is it as true that I

have two souls, which take possession of my bodily frame by turns, the

one being all unconscious of what the other performs; for as sure as I

have at this moment a spirit within me, fashioned and destined to

eternal felicity, as sure am I utterly ignorant of the crimes you now

lay to my charge."

"Your supposition may be true in effect," said he. "We are all

subjected to two distinct natures in the same person. I myself have

suffered grievously in that way. The spirit that now directs my

energies is not that with which I was endowed at my creation. It is

changed within me, and so is my whole nature. My former days were those

of grandeur and felicity. But, would you believe it? I was not then a

Christian. Now I am. I have been converted to its truths by passing

through the fire, and, since my final conversion, my misery has been

extreme. You complain that I have not been able to render you more

happy than you were. Alas! do you expect it in the difficult and

exterminating career which you have begun? I, however, promise you

this--a portion of the only happiness which I enjoy, sublime in its

motions, and splendid in its attainments--I will place you on the right

hand of my throne, and show you the grandeur of my domains, and the

felicity of my millions of true professors."

I was once more humbled before this mighty potentate, and promised to

be ruled wholly by his directions, although at that moment my nature

shrunk from the concessions, and my soul longed rather to be inclosed

in the deeps of the sea, or involved once more in utter oblivion. I was

like Daniel in the den of lions, without his faith in Divine support,

and wholly at their mercy. I felt as one round whose body a deadly

snake is twisted, which continues to hold him in its fangs, without

injuring him, further than in moving its scaly infernal folds with

exulting delight, to let its victim feel to whose power he has

subjected himself; and thus did I for a space drag an existence from

day to day, in utter weariness and helplessness; at one time

worshipping with great fervour of spirit, and at other times so wholly

left to myself as to work all manner of vices and follies with

greediness. In these my enlightened friend never accompanied me, but I

always observed that he was the first to lead me to every one of them,

and then leave me in the lurch. The next day, after these my fallings

off, he never failed to reprove me gently, blaming me for my venial

transgressions; but then he had the art of reconciling all, by

reverting to my justified and infallible state, which I found to prove

a delightful healing salve for every sore.

But, of all my troubles, this was the chief. I was every day and every

hour assailed with accusations of deeds of which I was wholly ignorant;

of acts of cruelty, injustice, defamation, and deceit; of pieces of

business which I could not be made to comprehend; with lawsuits,

details, arrestments of judgment, and a thousand interminable quibbles

from the mouth of my loquacious and conceited attorney. So miserable

was my life rendered by these continued attacks that I was often

obliged to lock myself up for days together, never seeing any person

save my man Samuel Scrape, who was a very honest blunt fellow, a

staunch Cameronian, but withal very little conversant in religious

matters. He said he came from a place called Penpunt, which I thought a

name so ludicrous that I called him by the name of his native village,

an appellation of which he was very proud, and answered everything with

more civility and perspicuity when I denominated him Penpunt, than

Samuel, his own Christian name. Of this peasant was I obliged to make a

companion on sundry occasions, and strange indeed were the details

which he gave me concerning myself, and the ideas of the country people

concerning me. I took down a few of these in writing, to put off the

time, and here leave them on record to show how the best and greatest

actions are misconstrued among sinful and ignorant men:

"You say, Samuel, that I hired you myself--that I have been a good

enough master to you, and have paid you your weekly wages punctually.

Now, how is it that you say this, knowing, as you do, that I never

hired you, and never paid you a sixpence of wages in the whole course

of my life, excepting this last month?"

"Ye may as weel say, master, that water's no water, or that, stanes are

no stanes. But that's just your gate, an' it's a great pity, aye to do

a thing an profess the clean contrair. Weel then, since you havena paid

me ony wages, an' I can prove day and date when I was hired, an' came

hame to your service, will you be sae kind as to pay me now? That's the

best way o' curing a man o' the mortal disease o' leasing-making that I

ken o'."

"I should think that Penpunt and Cameronian principles would not admit

of a man taking twice payment for the same article."

"In sic a case as this, sir, it disna hinge upon principles, but a

piece o' good manners; an' I can tell you that, at sic a crisis, a

Cameronian is a gay-an weel-bred man. He's driven to this, and he maun

either make a breach in his friend's good name, or in his purse; an'

oh, sir, whilk o' thae, think you, is the most precious? For instance,

an a Galloway drover had comed to the town o' Penpunt, an' said to a

Cameronian (the folk's a' Cameronians there), 'Sir, I want to buy your

cow,' 'Vera weel,' says the Cameronian, 'I just want to sell the cow,

sae gie me twanty punds Scots, an' take her w' ye.' It's a bargain. The

drover takes away the cow, an' gies the Cameronian his twanty pund

Scots. But after that, he meets him again on the white sands, amang a'

the drovers an' dealers o' the land, an' the Gallowayman, he says to

the Cameronian, afore a' thae witnesses, 'Come, Master Whiggam, I hae

never paid you for yon bit useless cow that I bought. I'll pay her the

day, but you maun mind the luck-penny; there's muckle need for 't'--or

something to that purpose. The Cameronian then turns out to be a civil

man, an' canna bide to make the man baith a feele an' liar at the same

time, afore a' his associates; an' therefore he pits his principles aff

at the side, to be kind o' sleepin' partner, as it war, an' brings up

his good breeding to stand at the counter: he pockets the money, gies

the Galloway drover time o' day, an' comes his way. An' wha's to blame?

Man mind yoursel is the first commandment. A Cameronian's principles

never came atween him an' his purse, nor sanna in the present case;

for, as I canna bide to make you out a leear, I'll thank you for my

wages."

"Well, you shall have them, Samuel, if you declare to me that I hired

you myself in this same person, and bargained with you with this same

tongue and voice with which I speak to you just now."

"That I do declare, unless ye hae twa persons o' the same appearance,

and twa tongues to the same voice. But, 'od saif us, sir, do you ken

what the auld wives o' the clachan say about you?"

"How should I, when no one repeats it to me?"

"Oo, I trow it's a' stuff--folk shouldna heed what's said by auld

crazy kimmers. But there are some o' them weel kend for witches, too;

an' they say, 'Lord have a care o' us!' They say the deil's often seen

gaun sidie for sidie w' ye, whiles in ae shape, an' whiles in another.

An' they say that he whiles takes your ain shape, or else enters into

you, and then you turn a deil yoursel."

I was so astounded at this terrible idea that had gone abroad,

regarding my fellowship with the Prince of Darkness, that I could make

no answer to the fellow's information, but sat like one in a stupor;

and if it had not been for my well-founded faith, and conviction that I

was a chosen and elected one before the world was made, I should at

that moment have given in to the popular belief, and fallen into the

sin of despondency; but I was preserved from such a fatal error by an

inward and unseen supporter. Still the insinuation was so like what I

felt myself that I was greatly awed and confounded.

The poor fellow observed this, and tried to do away the impression by

some further sage remarks of his own.

"Hout, dear sir, it is balderdash, there's nae doubt o't. It is the

crownhead o' absurdity to tak in the havers o' auld wives for gospel. I

told them that my master was a peeous man, an' a sensible man; an', for

praying, that he could ding auld Macmillan himsel. 'Sae could the

deil,' they said, 'when he liket, either at preaching or praying, if

these war to answer his ain ends.' 'Na, na,' says I, 'but he's a strick

believer in a' the truths o' Christianity, my master.' They said, sae

was Satan, for that he was the firmest believer in a' the truths of

Christianity that was out o' Heaven; an' that, sin' the Revolution that

the Gospel had turned sae rife, he had been often driven to the shift

o' preaching it himsel, for the purpose o' getting some wrang tenets

introduced into it, and thereby turning it into blasphemy and ridicule."

I confess, to my shame, that I was so overcome by this jumble of

nonsense that a chillness came over me, and, in spite of all my efforts

to shake off the impression it had made, I fell into a faint. Samuel

soon brought me to myself, and, after a deep draught of wine and water,

I was greatly revived, and felt my spirit rise above the sphere of

vulgar conceptions and the restrained views of unregenerate men. The

shrewd but loquacious fellow, perceiving this, tried to make some

amends for the pain he had occasioned to me by the following story,

which I noted down, and which was brought on by a conversation to the

following purport:

"Now, Penpunt, you may tell me all that passed between you and the

wives of the clachan. I am better of that stomach qualm, with which I

am sometimes seized, and shall be much amused by hearing the sentiments

of noted witches regarding myself and my connections."

"Weel, you see, sir, I says to them, 'It will be lang afore the deil

intermeddle wi' as serious a professor, and as fervent a prayer as my

master, for, gin he gets the upper hand o' sickan men, wha's to be

safe?' An', what think ye they said, sir? There was ane Lucky Shaw set

up her lang lantern chafts, an' answered me, an' a' the rest shanned

and noddit in assent an' approbation: 'Ye silly, sauchless, Cameronian

cuif!' quo she, 'is that a' that ye ken about the wiles and doings o'

the Prince o' the Air, that rules an' works in the bairns of

disobedience? Gin ever he observes a proud professor, wha has mae than

ordinary pretensions to a divine calling, and that reards and prays

till the very howlets learn his preambles, that's the man Auld Simmie

fixes on to mak a dishclout o'. He canna get rest in Hell, if he sees a

man, or a set of men o' this stamp, an, when he sets fairly to work, it

is seldom that he disna bring them round till his ain measures by hook

or by crook. Then, Oh! it is a grand prize for him, an' a proud Deil he

is, when he gangs hame to his ain ha', wi' a batch o' the souls o' sic

strenuous professors on his back. Aye, I trow, auld Ingleby, the

Liverpool packman, never came up Glasco street wi' prouder pomp when he

had ten horse-laids afore him o' Flanders lace, an' Hollin lawn, an'

silks an' satins frae the eastern Indians, than Satan wad strodge into

Hell with a packlaid o' the souls o' proud professors on his braid

shoulders. Ha, ha, ha! I think I see how the auld thief wad be gaun

through his gizened dominions, crying his wares, in derision, "Wha will

buy a fresh, cauler divine, a bouzy bishop, a fasting zealot, or a

piping priest?" For a' their prayers an' their praises, their aumuses,

an' their penances, their whinings, their howlings, their rantings, an'

their ravings, here they come at last! Behold the end! Here go the

rare and precious wares! A fat professor for a bodle, an' a lean ane

for half a merk!' I declare I trembled at the auld hag's ravings, but

the lave o' the kimmers applauded the sayings as sacred truths. An'

then Lucky went on: 'There are many wolves in sheep's claithing, among

us, my man; mony deils aneath the masks o' zealous professors, roaming

about in kirks and meetinghouses o' the land. It was but the year afore

the last that the people o' the town o' Auchtermuchty grew so rigidly

righteous that the meanest hind among them became a shining light in

ither towns an' parishes. There was naught to be heard, neither night

nor day, but preaching, praying, argumentation, an' catechising in a'

the famous town o' Auchtermuchty. The young men wooed their sweethearts

out o' the Song o' Solomon, an' the girls returned answers in strings

o' verses out o' the Psalms. At the lint-swinglings, they said

questions round; and read chapters, and sang hymns at bridals; auld and

young prayed in their dreams, an' prophesied in their sleep, till the

deils in the farrest nooks o' Hell were alarmed, and moved to

commotion. Gin it hadna been an auld carl, Robin Ruthven, Auchtermuchty

wad at that time hae been ruined and lost for ever. But Robin was a

cunning man, an' had rather mae wits than his ain, for he had been in

the hands o' the fairies when he was young, an' a' kinds o' spirits

were visible to his een, an' their language as familiar to him as his

ain mother tongue. Robin was sitting on the side o' the West Lowmond,

ae still gloomy night in September, when he saw a bridal o' corbie

craws coming east the lift, just on the edge o' the gloaming. The

moment that Robin saw them, he kenned, by their movements, that they

were craws o' some ither warld than this; so he signed himself, and

crap into the middle o' his bourock. The corbie craws came a' an' sat

down round about him, an' they poukit their black sooty wings, an'

spread them out to the breeze to cool; and Robin heard ae corbie

speaking, an' another answering him; and the tane said to the tither:

"Where will the ravens find a prey the night?" "On the lean crazy souls

o' Auchtermuchty," quo the tither. "I fear they will be o'er weel

wrappit up in the warm flannens o' faith, an clouted wi' the dirty duds

o' repentance, for us to mak a meal o'," quo the first. "Whaten vile

sounds are these that I hear coming bumming up the hill?" "Oh, these

are the hymns and praises o' the auld wives and creeshy louns o'

Auchtermuchty, wha are gaun crooning their way to Heaven; an', gin it

warna for the shame o' being beat, we might let our great enemy tak

them. For sic a prize as he will hae! Heaven, forsooth! What shall we

think o' Heaven, if it is to be filled wi' vermin like thae, amang whom

there is mair poverty and pollution than I can name." "No matter for

that," said the first, "we cannot have our power set at defiance;

though we should put them on the thief's hole, we must catch them, and

catch them with their own bait, too. Come all to church to-morrow, and

I'll let you hear how I'll gull the saints of Auchtermuchty. In the

meantime, there is a feast on the Sidlaw hills tonight, below the hill

of Macbeth--Mount, Diabolus, and fly." Then, with loud croaking and

crowing, the bridal of corbies again scaled the dusky air, and left

Robin Ruthven in the middle of his cairn.

"'The next day the congregation met in the kirk of Auchtermuchty, but

the minister made not his appearance. The elder ran out and in making

inquiries; but they could learn nothing, save that the minister was

missing. They ordered the clerk to sing a part of the 119th Psalm,

until they saw if the minister would cast up. The clerk did as he was

ordered, and, by the time he reached the 77th verse, a strange divine

entered the church, by the western door, and advanced solemnly up to

the pulpit. The eyes of all the congregation were riveted on the

sublime stranger, who was clothed in a robe of black sackcloth, that

flowed all around him, and trailed far behind, and they weened him an

angel, come to exhort them, in disguise. He read out his text from the

Prophecies of Ezekiel, which consisted of these singular words: "I will

overturn, overturn, overturn it; and it shall be no more, until he

come, whose right it is, and I will give it him."

"'From these words he preached such a sermon as never was heard by

human ears, at least never by ears of Auchtermuchty. It was a true,

sterling, gospel sermon--it was striking, sublime, and awful in the

extreme. He finally made out the IT, mentioned in the text, to mean,

properly and positively, the notable town of Auchtermuchty. He proved

all the people in it, to their perfect satisfaction, to be in the gall

of bitterness and bond of iniquity, and he assured them that God would

overturn them, their principles, and professions; and that they should

be no more, until the Devil, the town's greatest enemy, came, and then

it should be given unto him for a prey, for it was his right, and to

him it belonged, if there was not forthwith a radical change made in

all their opinions and modes of worship.

"'The inhabitants of Auchtermuchty were electrified--they were charmed;

they were actually raving mad about the grand and sublime truths

delivered to them by this eloquent and impressive preacher of

Christianity. "He is a prophet of the Lord," said one, "sent to warn

us, as Jonah was sent to the Ninevites." "Oh, he is an angel sent from

Heaven, to instruct this great city," said another, "for no man ever

uttered truths so sublime before." The good people of Auchtermuchty

were in perfect raptures with the preacher, who had thus sent them to

Hell by the slump, tag-rag, and bobtail! Nothing in the world delights

a truly religious people so much as consigning them to eternal

damnation. They wandered after the preacher--they crowded together, and

spoke of his sermon with admiration, and still, as they conversed, the

wonder and the admiration increased; so that honest Robin Ruthven's

words would not be listened to. It was in vain that he told them he

heard a raven speaking, and another raven answering him: the people

laughed him to scorn, and kicked him out of their assemblies, as a one

who spoke evil of dignities; and they called him a warlock, an' a daft

body, to think to mak language out o' the crouping o' craws.

"'The sublime preacher could not be heard of, although all the country

was sought for him, even to the minutest corner of St. Johnston and

Dundee; but as he had announced another sermon on the same text, on a

certain day, all the inhabitants of that populous country, far and

near, flocked to Auchtermuchty. Cupar, Newburgh, and Strathmiglo,

turned out men, women and children. Perth and Dundee gave their

thousands; and, from the East Nook of Fife to the foot of the Grampian

hills, there was nothing but running and riding that morning to

Auchtermuchty. The kirk would not hold the thousandth part of them. A

splendid tent was erected on the brae north of the town, and round that

the countless congregation assembled. When they were all waiting

anxiously for the great preacher, behold, Robin Ruthven set up his head

in the tent, and warned his countrymen to beware of the doctrines they

were about to hear, for he could prove, to their satisfaction, that

they were all false, and tended to their destruction!

"'The whole multitude raised a cry of indignation against Robin, and

dragged him from the tent, the elders rebuking him, and the multitude

threatening to resort to stronger measures; and, though he told them a

plain and unsophisticated tale of the black corbies, he was only

derided. The great preacher appeared once more, and went through his

two discourses with increased energy and approbation. All who heard him

were amazed, and many of them went into fits, writhing and foaming in a

state of the most horrid agitation. Robin Ruthven sat on the outskirts

of the great assembly, listening with the rest, and perceived what

they, in the height of their enthusiasm, perceived not the ruinous

tendency of the tenets so sublimely inculcated. Robin kenned the voice

of his friend the corby-craw again, and was sure he could not be wrong:

sae, when public worship was finished, a' the elders an' a' the gentry

flocked about the great preacher, as he stood on the green brae in the

sight of the hale congregation, an' a' war alike anxious to pay him

some mark o' respect. Robin Ruthven came in amang the thrang, to try to

effect what he had promised; and, with the greatest readiness and

simplicity, just took baud o' the side o' the wide gown, and, in sight

of a' present, held it aside as high as the preacher's knee, and,

behold, there was a pair o' cloven feet! The auld thief was fairly

catched in the very height o' his proud conquest, an' put down by an

auld carl. He could feign nae mair, but, gnashing on Robin wi' his

teeth, he dartit into the air like a fiery dragon, an' keust a reid

rainbow o'er the taps o' the Lowmonds.

"'A' the auld wives an weavers o' Auchtermuchty fell down flat wi'

affright, an' betook them to their prayers aince again, for they saw

the dreadfu' danger they had escapit, an' frae that day to this it is a

hard matter to gar an Auchtermuchty man listen to a sermon at a', an' a

harder ane still to gar him applaud ane, for he thinks aye that he sees

the cloven foot peeping out frae aneath ilka sentence.

"'Now, this is a true story, my man,' quo the auld wife, 'an', whenever

you are doubtfu' of a man, take auld Robin Ruthven's plan, an' look for

the cloven foot, for it's a thing that winna weel hide; an' it appears

whiles where ane wadna think o't. It will keek out frae aneath the

parson's gown, the lawyer's wig, and the Cameronian's blue bannet; but

still there is a gouden rule whereby to detect it, an' that never,

never fails.' The auld witch didna gie me the rule, an' though I hae

heard tell o't often an' often, shame fa' me an I ken what it is! But

ye will ken it well, an' it wad be nae the waur of a trial on some o'

your friends, maybe; for they say there's a certain gentleman seen

walking wi' you whiles, that, wherever he sets his foot, the grass

withers as gin it war scoudered wi' a het ern. His presence be about

us! What's the matter wi' you, master. Are ye gaun to take the calm o'

the stamock again?"

The truth is, that the clown's absurd story, with the still more

ridiculous application, made me sick at heart a second time. It was not

because I thought my illustrious friend was the Devil, or that I took a

fool's idle tale as a counterbalance to Divine revelation that had

assured me of my justification in the sight of God before the existence

of time. But, in short, it gave me a view of my own state, at which I

shuddered, as indeed I now always did when the image of my devoted

friend and ruler presented itself to my mind. I often communed, with my

heart on this, and wondered how a connection, that had the well-being

of mankind solely in view, could be productive of fruits so bitter. I

then went to try my works by the Saviour's golden rule, as my servant

had put it into my head to do; and, behold, not one of them could stand

the test. I had shed blood on a ground on which I could not admit that

any man had a right to shed mine; and I began to doubt the motives of

my adviser once more, not that they were intentionally bad, but that

his was some great mind led astray by enthusiasm or some overpowering

passion.

He seemed to comprehend every one of these motions of my heart, for his

manner towards me altered every day. It first became anything but

agreeable, then supercilious, and, finally, intolerable; so that I

resolved to shake him off, cost what it would, even though I should be

reduced to beg my bread in a foreign land. To do it at home was

impossible, as he held my life in his hands, to sell it whenever he had

a mind; and, besides, his ascendancy over me was as complete as that of

a huntsman over his dogs: I was even so weak as, the next time I met

with him, to look steadfastly at his foot, to see if it was not cloven

into two hoofs. It was the foot of a gentleman in every respect, so far

as appearances went, but the form of his counsels was somewhat

equivocal, and, if not double, they were amazingly crooked.

But, if I had taken my measures to abscond and fly from my native

place, in order to free myself of this tormenting, intolerant, and

bloody reformer, he had likewise taken his to expel me, or throw me

into the hands of justice. It seems that, about this time, I was

haunted by some spies connected with my late father and brother, of

whom the mistress of the former was one. My brother's death had been

witnessed by two individuals; indeed, I always had an impression that

it was witnessed by more than one, having some faint recollection of

hearing voices and challenges close beside me; and this woman had

searched about until she found these people; but, as I shrewdly

suspected, not without the assistance of the only person in my

secret--my own warm and devoted friend. I say this, because I found

that he had them concealed in the neighbourhood, and then took me again

and again where I was fully exposed to their view, without being aware.

One time in particular, on pretence of gratifying my revenge on that

base woman, he knew so well where she lay concealed that he led me to

her, and left me to the mercy of two viragos who had very nigh taken my

life. My time of residence at Dalcastle was wearing to a crisis. I

could no longer live with my tyrant, who haunted me like my shadow;

and, besides, it seems there were proofs of murder leading against me

from all quarters. Of part of these I deemed myself quite free, but the

world deemed otherwise; and how the matter would have gone God only

knows, for, the case never having undergone a judicial trial, I do not.

It perhaps, however, behoves me here to relate all that I know of it,

and it is simply this:

On the first of June, 1712 (well may I remember the day), I was sitting

locked in my secret chamber, in a state of the utmost despondency,

revolving in my mind what I ought to do to be free of my persecutors,

and wishing myself a worm, or a moth, that I might be crushed and at

rest, when behold Samuel entered, with eyes like to start out of his

head, exclaiming: "For God's sake, master, fly and hide yourself, for

your mother's found, an' as sure as you're a living soul, the blame is

gaun to fa' on you!"

"My mother found!" said I. "And, pray, where has she been all this

while?" In the meantime, I was terribly discomposed at the thoughts of

her return.

"Been, sir! Been? Why, she has been where ye pat her, it seems--lying

buried in the sands o' the linn. I can tell you, ye will see her a

frightsome figure, sic as I never wish to see again. An' the young lady

is found too, sir: an' it is said the Devil--I beg pardon, sir, your

friend, I mean--it is said your friend has made the discovery, an' the

folk are away to raise officers, an' they will be here in an hour or

two at the farthest, sir; an' sae you hae not a minute to lose, for

there's proof, sir, strong proof, an' sworn proof, that ye were last

seen wi' them baith; sae, unless ye can gie a' the better an account o'

baith yoursel an' them either hide or flee for your bare life."

"I will neither hide nor fly," said I, "for I am as guiltless of the

blood of these women as the child unborn."

"The country disna think sae, master; an' I can assure you that, should

evidence fail, you run a risk o' being torn limb frae limb. They are

bringing the corpse here, to gar ye touch them baith afore witnesses,

an' plenty o' witnesses there will be!"

"They shall not bring them here," cried I, shocked beyond measure at

the experiment about to be made. "Go, instantly and debar them from

entering my gate with their bloated and mangled carcases!"

"The body of your own mother, sir!" said the fellow emphatically. I was

in terrible agitation; and, being driven to my wits' end, I got up and

strode furiously round and round the room. Samuel wist not what to do,

but I saw by his staring he deemed me doubly guilty. A tap came to the

chamber door: we both started like guilty creatures; and as for Samuel,

his hairs stood all on end with alarm, so that, when I motioned to him,

he could scarcely advance to open the door. He did so at length, and

who should enter but my illustrious friend, manifestly in the utmost

state of alarm. The moment that Samuel admitted him, the former made

his escape by the prince's side as he entered, seemingly in a state of

distraction. I was little better, when I saw this dreaded personage

enter my chamber, which he had never before attempted; and, being

unable to ask his errand, I suppose I stood and gazed on him like a

statue.

"I come with sad and tormenting tidings to you, my beloved and

ungrateful friend," said he, "but, having only a minute left to save

your life, I have come to attempt it. There is a mob coming towards you

with two dead bodies, which will place you in circumstances

disagreeable enough: but that is not the worst, for of that you may be

able to clear yourself. At this moment there is a party of officers,

with a justiciary warrant from Edinburgh, surrounding the house, and

about to begin the search of it for you. If you fall into their hands,

you are inevitably lost; for I have been making earnest inquiries, and

find that everything is in train for your ruin."

"Aye, and who has been the cause of all this?" said I, with great

bitterness. But he stopped me short, adding, "There is no time for such

reflections at present; I gave my word of honour, that your life should

be safe from the hand of man. So it shall, if the power remain with me

to save it. I am come to redeem my pledge, and to save your life by the

sacrifice of my own. Here--not one word of expostulation, change habits

with me, and you may then pass by the officers, and guards, and even

through the approaching mob, with the most perfect temerity. There is a

virtue in this garb, and, instead of offering to detain you, they shall

pay you obeisance. Make haste, and leave this place for the present,

flying where you best may, and, if I escape from these dangers that

surround me, I will endeavour to find you out, and bring you what

intelligence I am able."

I put on his green frock coat, buff belt, and a sort of a turban that

he always wore on his head, somewhat resembling a bishop's mitre: he

drew his hand thrice across my face, and I withdrew as he continued to

urge me. My hall door and postern gate were both strongly guarded, and

there were sundry armed people within, searching the closets; but all

of them made way for me, and lifted their caps as I passed by them.

Only one superior officer accosted me, asking if I had seen the

culprit. I knew not what answer to make, but chanced to say, with great

truth and propriety: "He is safe enough." The man beckoned with a

smile, as much as to say: "Thank you, sir, that is quite sufficient,"

and I walked deliberately away.

I had not well left the gate till, hearing a great noise coming from

the deep glen towards the east, I turned that way, deeming myself quite

secure in this my new disguise, to see what it was, and if matters were

as had been described to me. There I met a great mob, sure enough,

coming with two dead bodies stretched on boards, and decently covered

with white sheets. I would fain have examined their appearance, had I

not perceived the apparent fury in the looks of the men, and judged

from that how much more safe it was for me not to intermeddle in the

affray. I cannot tell how it was, but I felt a strange and unwonted

delight in viewing this scene, and a certain pride of heart in being

supposed the perpetrator of the unnatural crimes laid to my charge.

This was a feeling quite new to me; and if there were virtues in the

robes of the illustrious foreigner, who had without all dispute

preserved my life at this time: I say, if there was any inherent virtue

in these robes of his, as he had suggested, this was one of their

effects' that they turned my heart towards that which was evil,

horrible, and disgustful.

I mixed with the mob to hear what they were saying. Every tongue was

engaged in loading me with the most opprobrious epithets! One called me

a monster of nature; another an incarnate devil; and another a creature

made to be cursed in time and eternity. I retired from them and, winded

my way southwards, comforting myself with the assurance that so mankind

had used and persecuted the greatest fathers and apostles of the

Christian Church, and that their vile opprobrium could not alter the

counsels of Heaven concerning me.

On going over that rising ground called Dorington Moor, I could not

help turning round and taking a look of Dalcastle. I had little doubt

that it would be my last look, and nearly as little ambition that it

should not. I thought how high my hopes of happiness and advancement

had been on entering that mansion, and taking possession of its rich

and extensive domains, and how miserably I had been disappointed. On

the contrary, I had experienced nothing but chagrin, disgust, and

terror; and I now consoled myself with the hope that I should

henceforth shake myself free of the chains of my great tormentor, and

for that privilege was I willing to encounter any earthly distress. I

could not help perceiving that I was now on a path which was likely to

lead me into a species of distress hitherto unknown, and hardly dreamed

of by me, and that was total destitution. For all the riches I had been

possessed of a few hours previous to this, I found that here I was

turned out of my lordly possessions without a single merk, or the power

of lifting and commanding the smallest sum, without being thereby

discovered and seized. Had it been possible for me to have escaped in

my own clothes, I had a considerable sum secreted in these, but, by the

sudden change, I was left without a coin for present necessity. But I

had hope in Heaven, knowing that the just man would not be left

destitute and that, though many troubles surrounded him, he would at

last be set free from them all. I was possessed of strong and brilliant

parts, and a liberal education; and, though I had somehow unaccountably

suffered my theological qualifications to fall into desuetude, since my

acquaintance with the ablest and most rigid of all theologians, I had

nevertheless hopes that, by preaching up redemption by grace,

preordination, and eternal purpose, I should yet be enabled to benefit

mankind in some country, and rise to high distinction.

These were some of the thoughts by which I consoled myself as I posted

on my way southwards, avoiding the towns and villages, and falling into

the cross ways that led from each of the great roads passing east and

west to another. I lodged the first night in the house of a country

weaver, into which I stepped at a late hour, quite overcome with hunger

and fatigue, having travelled not less than thirty miles from my late

home. The man received me ungraciously, telling me of a gentleman's

house at no great distance, and of an inn a little farther away; but I

said I delighted more in the society of a man like him than that of any

gentleman of the land, for my concerns were with the poor of this

world, it being easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle

than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven.

The weaver's wife, who sat with a child on her knee, and had not

hitherto opened her mouth, hearing me speak in that serious and

religious style, stirred up the fire with her one hand; then, drawing a

chair near it, she said: "Come awa, honest lad, in by here; sin' it be

sae that you belang to Him wha gies us a' that we hae, it is but right

that you should share a part. You are a stranger, it is true, but them

that winna entertain a stranger will never entertain an angel unawares."

I never was apt to be taken with the simplicity of nature; in general I

despised it; but, owing to my circumstances at the time, I was deeply

affected by the manner of this poor woman's welcome. The weaver

continued in a churlish mood throughout the evening, apparently

dissatisfied with what his wife had done in entertaining me, and spoke

to her in a manner so crusty that I thought proper to rebuke him, for

the woman was comely in her person, and virtuous in her conversation;

but the weaver, her husband, was large of make, ill-favoured, and

pestilent; therefore did I take him severely to task for the tenor of

his conduct; but the man was froward, and answered me rudely with

sneering and derision and, in the height of his caprice, he said to his

wife: "Whan focks are sae keen of a chance o' entertaining angels,

gude-wife, it wad maybe be worth their while to tak tent what kind o'

angels they are. It wadna wonder me vera muckle an ye had entertained

your friend the Deil the night, for aw thought aw fand a saur o' reek

an' brimstane about him. He's nane o' the best o' angels, an focks

winna hae muckle credit by entertaining him."

Certainly, in the assured state I was in, I had as little reason to be

alarmed at mention being made of the Devil as any person on earth: of

late, however, I felt that the reverse was the case, and that any

allusion to my great enemy moved me exceedingly. The weaver's speech

had such an effect on me that both he and his wife were alarmed at my

looks. The latter thought I was angry, and chided her husband gently

for his rudeness; but the weaver himself rather seemed to be confirmed

in his opinion that I was the Devil, for he looked round like a

startled roe-buck, and immediately betook him to the family Bible.

I know not whether it was on purpose to prove my identity or not, but I

think he was going to desire me either to read a certain portion of

Scripture that he had sought out, or to make family worship, had not

the conversation at that instant taken another turn; for the weaver,

not knowing how to address me, abruptly asked my name, as he was about

to put the Bible into my hands. Never having considered myself in the

light of a male-factor, but rather as a champion in the cause of truth,

and finding myself perfectly safe under my disguise, I had never once

thought of the utility of changing my name, and, when the man asked me,

I hesitated; but, being compelled to say something, I said my name was

Cowan. The man stared at me, and then at his wife, with a look that

spoke a knowledge of something alarming or mysterious.

"Ha! Cowan?" said he. "That's most extraordinar! Not Colwan, I hope?"

"No: Cowan is my sirname," said I. "But why not Colwan, there being so

little difference in the sound?"

"I was feared ye might be that waratch that the Deil has taen the

possession o', an' eggit him on to kill baith his father an' his

mother, his only brother, an' his sweetheart," said he; "an', to say

the truth, I'm no that sure about you yet, for I see you're gaun wi'

arms on ye."

"Not I, honest man," said I. "I carry no arms; a man conscious of his

innocence and uprightness of heart needs not to carry arms in his

defence now."

"Aye, aye, maister," said he; "an' pray what div ye ca' this bit

windlestrae that's appearing here?" With that he pointed to something

on the inside of the breast of my frock-coat. I looked at it, and there

certainly was the gilded haft of a poniard, the same weapon I had seen

and handled before, and which I knew my illustrious companion carried

about with him; but till that moment I knew not that I was in

possession of it. I drew it out: a more dangerous or insidious-looking

weapon could not be conceived. The weaver and his wife were both

frightened, the latter in particular; and she being my friend, and I

dependent on their hospitality for that night, I said: "I declare I

knew not that I carried this small rapier, which has been in my coat by

chance, and not by any design of mine. But, lest you should think that

I meditate any mischief to any under this roof I give it into your

hands, requesting of you to lock it by till tomorrow, or when I shall

next want it."

The woman seemed rather glad to get hold of it; and taking it from me,

she went into a kind of pantry out of my sight, and locked the weapon

up; and then the discourse went on.

"There cannot be such a thing in reality," said I, "as the story you

were mentioning just now, of a man whose name resembles mine."

"It's likely that you ken a wee better about the story than I do,

maister," said he, "suppose you do leave the L out of your name. An'

yet I think sic a waratch, an' a murderer, wad hae taen a name wi' some

gritter difference in the sound. But the story is just that true that

there were twa o' the Queen's officers here nae mair than an hour ago,

in pursuit o' the vagabond, for they gat some intelligence that he had

fled this gate; yet they said he had been last seen wi' black claes on,

an' they supposed he was clad in black. His ain servant is wi' them,

for the purpose o' kennin the scoundrel, an' they're galloping through

the country like madmen. I hope in God they'll get him, an' rack his

neck for him!"

I could not say Amen to the weaver's prayer, and therefore tried to

compose myself as well as I could, and made some religious comment on

the causes of the nation's depravity. But suspecting that my potent

friend had betrayed my flight and disguise, to save his life, I was

very uneasy, and gave myself up for lost. I said prayers in the family,

with the tenor of which the wife was delighted, but the weaver still

dissatisfied; and, after a supper of the most homely fare, he tried to

start an argument with me, proving that everything for which I had

interceded in my prayer was irrelevant to man's present state. But I,

being weary and distressed in mind, shunned the contest, and requested

a couch whereon to repose.

I was conducted into the other end of the house, among looms, treadles,

pirns, and confusion without end; and there, in a sort of box, was I

shut up for my night's repose, for the weaver, as he left me,

cautiously turned the key of my apartment, and left me to shift for

myself among the looms, determined that I should escape from the house

with nothing. After he and his wife and children were crowded into

their den, I heard the two mates contending furiously about me in

suppressed voices, the one maintaining the probability that I was the

murderer, and the other proving the impossibility of it. The husband,

however, said as much as let me understand that he had locked me up on

purpose to bring the military, or officers of justice, to seize me. I

was in the utmost perplexity, yet for all that, and the imminent danger

I was in, I fell asleep, and a more troubled and tormenting sleep never

enchained a mortal frame. I had such dreams that they will not bear

repetition, and early in the morning I awaked, feverish, and parched

with thirst.

I went to call mine host, that he might let me out to the open air,

but, before doing so, I thought it necessary to put on some clothes. In

attempting to do this, a circumstance arrested my attention (for which

I could in nowise account, which to this day I cannot unriddle, nor

shall I ever be able to comprehend it while I live): the frock and

turban, which had furnished my disguise on the preceding day, were both

removed, and my own black coat and cocked hat laid down in their place.

At first I thought I was in a dream, and felt the weaver's beam, web,

and treadle-strings with my hands, to convince myself that I was awake.

I was certainly awake; and there was the door locked firm and fast as

it was the evening before. I carried my own black coat to the small

window and examined it. It was my own in verity; and the sums of money

that I had concealed in case of any emergency, remained untouched. I

trembled with astonishment; and on my return from the small window went

doiting in amongst the weaver's looms, till I entangled myself, and

could not get out again without working great deray amongst the coarse

linen threads that stood in warp from one end of the apartment unto the

other. I had no knife whereby to cut the cords of this wicked man, and

therefore was obliged to call out lustily for assistance. The weaver

came half naked, unlocked the door, and, setting in his head and long

neck, accosted me thus:

"What now, Mr. Satan? What for art ye roaring that gate? Are you fawn

inna little hell, instead o' the big muckil ane? Deil be in your

reistit trams! What for have ye abscondit yoursel into ma leddy's wab

for?"

"Friend, I beg your pardon," said I. "I wanted to be at the light, and

have somehow unfortunately involved myself in the intricacies of your

web, from which I cannot get dear without doing you a great injury.

Pray do lend your experienced hand to extricate me."

"May aw the pearls o' damnation light on your silly snout, an I dinna

estricat ye weel enough! Ye ditit donnart, deil's burd that ye be! What

made ye gang howkin in there to be a poor man's ruin? Come out, ye vile

rag-of-a-muffin, or I gar ye come out wi' mair shame and disgrace, an'

fewer haill banes in your body."

My feet had slipped down through the double warpings of a web, and not

being able to reach the ground with them (there being a small pit

below) I rode upon a number of yielding threads, and, there being

nothing else that I could reach, to extricate myself was impossible. I

was utterly powerless; and, besides, the yarn and cords hurt me very

much. For all that, the destructive weaver seized a loom-spoke, and

began a-beating me most unmercifully, while, entangled as I was, I

could do nothing but shout aloud for mercy, or assistance, whichever

chanced to be within hearing. The latter at length made its appearance

in the form of the weaver's wife, in the same state of dishabille with

himself, who instantly interfered, and that most strenuously, on my

behalf. Before her arrival, however, I had made a desperate effort to

throw myself out of the entanglement I was in; for the weaver continued

repeating his blows and cursing me so that I determined to get out of

his meshes at any risk. The effect made my case worse; for, my feet

being wrapt among the nether threads, as I threw myself from my saddle

on the upper ones, my feet brought the others up through these, and I

hung with my head down and my feet as firm as they had been in a vice.

The predicament of the web being thereby increased, the weaver's wrath

was doubled in proportion, and he laid on without mercy.

At this critical juncture the wife arrived, and without hesitation

rushed before her offended lord, withholding his hand from injuring me

further, although then it was uplifted along with the loom-spoke in

overbearing ire. "Dear Johnny! I think ye be gaen dementit this

morning. Be quiet, my dear, an' dinna begin a Boddel Brigg business in

your ain house. What for ir ye persecutin' a servant o' the Lord's that

gate, an' pitting the life out o' him wi' his head down an' his heels

up?"

"Had ye said a servant o' the Deil's, Nans, ye wad hae been nearer the

nail, for gin he binna the Auld Ane himsel, he's gayan sib till him.

There, didna I lock him in on purpose to bring the military on him; an'

in the place o' that, hasna he keepit me in a sleep a' this while as

deep as death? An' here do I find him abscondit like a speeder i' the

mids o' my leddy's wab, an' me dreamin' a' the night that I had the

Deil i' my house, an' that he was clapper-clawin me ayont the loom.

Have at you, ye brunstane thief!" and, in spite of the good woman's

struggles, he lent me another severe blow.

"Now, Johnny Dods, my man! oh, Johnny Dods, think if that be like a

Christian, and ane o' the heroes o' Boddel Brigg, to entertain a

stranger, an' then bind him in a web wi' his head down, an' mell him to

death! oh, Johnny Dods, think what you are about! Slack a pin, an' let

the good honest religious lad out."

The weaver was rather overcome, but still stood to his point that I was

the Deil, though in better temper; and, as he slackened the web to

release me, he remarked, half laughing: "Wha wad hae thought that John

Dods should hae escapit a' the snares an' dangers that circumfauldit

him, an' at last should hae weaved a net to catch the Deil."

The wife released me soon, and carefully whispered me, at the same

time, that it would be as well for me to dress and be going. I was not

long in obeying, and dressed myself in my black clothes, hardly knowing

what I did, what to think, or whither to betake myself. I was sore hurt

by the blows of the desperate ruffian; and, what was worse, my ankle

was so much strained that I could hardly set my foot to the ground. I

was obliged to apply to the weaver once more, to see if I could learn

anything about my clothes, or how the change was effected. "Sir," said

I, "how comes it that you have robbed me of my clothes, and put these

down in their place over night?"

"Ha! thae claes? Me pit down the claes!" said he, gaping with

astonishment, and touching the clothes with the point of his

forefinger. "I never saw them afore, as I have death to meet wi', so

help me God!"

He strode into the work-house where I slept, to satisfy himself that my

clothes were not there, and returned perfectly aghast with

consternation. "The doors were baith fast lockit," said he. "I could

hae defied a rat either to hae gotten out or in. My dream has been

true! My dream has been true! The Lord judge between thee and me; but

in His name, I charge you to depart out o' this house; an', gin it be

your will, dinna tak the braidside o't w'ye, but gang quietly out at

the door wi' your face foremost. Wife, let naught o' this enchanter's

remain i' the house, to be a curse, an' a snare to us; gang an' bring

him his gildit weapon, an' may the Lord protect a' his ain against its

hellish an' deadly point!"

The wife went to seek my poniard, trembling so excessively that she

could hardly walk, and, shortly after, we heard a feeble scream from

the pantry. The weapon had disappeared with the clothes, though under

double lock and key; and, the terror of the good people having now

reached a disgusting extremity, I thought proper to make a sudden

retreat, followed by the weaver's anathemas.

My state both of body and mind was now truly deplorable. I was hungry,

wounded, and lame, an outcast and a vagabond in society; my life sought

after with avidity, and all for doing that to which I was predestined

by Him who fore-ordains whatever comes to pass. I knew not whither to

betake me. I had purposed going into England and there making some use

of the classical education I had received, but my lameness rendered

this impracticable for the present. I was therefore obliged to turn my

face towards Edinburgh, where I was little known--where concealment was

more practicable than by skulking in the country, and where I might

turn my mind to something that was great and good. I had a little

money, both Scotch and English, now in my possession, but not one

friend in the whole world on whom I could rely. One devoted friend, it

is true, I had, but he was become my greatest terror. To escape from

him, I now felt that I would willingly travel to the farthest corners

of the world, and be subjected to every deprivation; but after the

certainty of what had taken place last night, after I had travelled

thirty miles by secret and by-ways, I saw not how escape from him was

possible.

Miserable, forlorn, and dreading every person that I saw, either behind

or before me, I hasted on towards Edinburgh, taking all the by and

unfrequented paths; and, the third night after I left the weaver's

house, I reached the West Port, without meeting with anything

remarkable. Being exceedingly fatigued and lame, I took lodgings in the

first house I entered, and for these I was to pay two groats a week,

and to board and sleep with a young man who wanted a companion to make

his rent easier. I liked this; having found from experience that the

great personage who had attached himself to me, and was now become my

greatest terror among many surrounding evils, generally haunted me when

I was alone keeping aloof from all other society.

My fellow lodger came home in the evening, and was glad at my coming.

His name was Linton, and I changed mine to Elliot. He was a flippant

unstable being, one on whom nothing appeared a difficulty, in his own

estimation, but who could effect very little after all. He was what is

called by some a compositor, in the Queen's printing house, then

conducted by a Mr. James Watson. In the course of our conversation that

night, I told him I was a first-rate classical scholar, and would

gladly turn my attention to some business wherein my education might

avail me something; and that there was nothing would delight me so much

as an engagement in the Queen's printing office. Linton made no

difficulty in bringing about that arrangement. His answer was: "Oo, gud

sir, you are the very man we want. Gud bless your breast and your

buttons, sir! Aye, that's neither here nor there. That's all very well.

Ha, ha, ha. A by-word in the house, sir. But, as I was saying, you are

the very man we want. You will get any money you like to ask, sir. Any

money you like, sir. God bless your buttons!--That's settled--All

done--Settled, setded--I'll do it, I'll do it--No more about it; no

more about it. Settled, settled."

The next day I went with him to the office, and he presented me to Mr.

Watson as the most wonderful genius and scholar ever known. His

recommendation had little sway with Mr. Watson, who only smiled at

Linton's extravagances, as one does at the prattle of an infant. I

sauntered about the printing office for the space of two or three

hours, during which time Watson bustled about with green spectacles on

his nose, and took no heed of me. But, seeing that I still lingered, he

addressed me at length, in a civil gentlemanly way, and inquired

concerning my views. I satisfied him with all my answers, in particular

those to his questions about the Latin and Greek languages; but when he

came to ask testimonials of my character and acquirements, and found

that I could produce none, he viewed me with a jealous eye, and said he

dreaded I was some n'er-do-weel, run from my parents or guardians, and

he did not choose to employ any such. I said my parents were both dead;

and that, being thereby deprived of the means of following out my

education, it behoved me to apply to some business in which my

education might be of some use to me. He said he would take me into the

office, and pay me according to the business I performed and the manner

in which I deported myself; but he could take no man into Her Majesty's

printing office upon a regular engagement who could not produce the

most respectable references with regard to morals.

I could not but despise the man in my heart who laid such a stress upon

morals, leaving grace out of the question; and viewed it as a

deplorable instance of human depravity and self-conceit; but, for all

that, I was obliged to accept of his terms, for I had an inward thirst

and longing to distinguish myself in the great cause of religion, and I

thought, if once I could print my own works, how I would astonish

mankind, and confound their self-wisdom and their esteemed

morality--blow up the idea of any dependence on good works, and

morality, forsooth! And I weened that I might thus get me a name even

higher than if I had been made a general of the Czar Peter's troops

against the infidels.

I attended the office some hours every day, but got not much

encouragement, though I was eager to learn everything, and could soon

have set types considerably well. It was here that I first conceived

the idea of writing this journal, and having it printed, and applied to

Mr. Watson to print it for me, telling him it was a religious parable

such as the Pilgrim's Progress. He advised me to print it close, and

make it a pamphlet, and then, if it did not sell, it would not cost me

much; but that religious pamphlets, especially if they had a shade of

allegory in them, were the very rage of the day. I put my work to the

press, and wrote early and late; and encouraging my companion to work

at odd hours and on Sundays, before the press-work of the second sheet

was begun, we had the work all in types, corrected, and a clean copy

thrown off for further revisal. The first sheet was wrought off; and I

never shall forget how my heart exulted when at the printing house this

day I saw what numbers of my works were to go abroad among mankind, and

I determined with myself that I would not put the Border name of

Elliot, which I had assumed, to the work.

Thus far have my History and Confessions been carried.

I must now furnish my Christian readers with a key to the process,

management, and winding up of the whole matter; which I propose, by the

assistance of God, to limit to a very few pages.

Chesters, July 27, 1712.--My hopes and prospects are a wreck. My

precious journal is lost! consigned to the flames! My enemy hath found

me out, and there is no hope of peace or rest for me on this side the

grave.

In the beginning of last week, my fellow lodger came home, running in a

great panic, and told me a story of the Devil having appeared twice in

the printing house, assisting the workmen at the printing of my book,

and that some of them had been frightened out of their wits. That the

story was told to Mr. Watson, who till that time had never paid any

attention to the treatise, but who, out of curiosity, began and read a

part of it, and thereupon flew into a great rage, called my work a

medley of lies and blasphemy, and ordered the whole to be consigned to

the flames, blaming his foreman, and all connected with the press, for

letting a work go so far that was enough to bring down the vengeance of

Heaven on the concern.

If ever I shed tears through perfect bitterness of spirit it was at

that time, but I hope it was more for the ignorance and folly of my

countrymen than the overthrow of my own hopes. But my attention was

suddenly aroused to other matters, by Linton mentioning that it was

said by some in the office the Devil had inquired for me.

"Surely you are not such a fool," said I, "as to believe that the Devil

really was in the printing office?"

"Oo, Gud bless you, sir! Saw him myself, gave him a nod, and good-day.

Rather a gentlemanly personage--Green Circassian hunting coat and

turban--Like a foreigner--Has the power of vanishing in one moment

though--Rather a suspicious circumstance that. Otherwise, his

appearance not much against him."

If the former intelligence thrilled me with grief, this did so with

terror. I perceived who the personage was that had visited the printing

house in order to further the progress of my work; and, at the approach

of every person to our lodgings, I from that instant trembled every

bone, lest it should be my elevated and dreaded friend. I could not say

I had ever received an office at his hand that was not friendly, yet

these offices had been of a strange tendency; and the horror with which

I now regarded him was unaccountable to myself. It was beyond

description, conception, or the soul of man to bear. I took my printed

sheets, the only copy of my unfinished work existing; and, on pretence

of going straight to Mr. Watson's office, decamped from my lodgings at

Portsburgh a little before the fall of evening, and took the road

towards England.

As soon as I got clear of the city, I ran with a velocity I knew not

before I had been capable of. I flew out the way towards Dalkeith so

swiftly that I often lost sight of the ground, and I said to myself,

"Oh, that I had the wings of a dove, that I might fly to the farthest

corners of the earth, to hide me from those against whom I have no

power to stand!"

I travelled all that night and the next morning, exerting myself beyond

my power; and about noon the following day I went into a yeoman's

house, the name of which was Ellanshaws, and requested of the people a

couch of any sort to lie down on, for I was ill, and could not proceed

on my journey. They showed me to a stable-loft where there were two

beds, on one of which I laid me down; and, falling into a sound sleep,

I did not awake till the evening, that other three men came from the

fields to sleep in the same place, one of whom lay down beside me, at

which I was exceedingly glad. They fell all sound asleep, and I was

terribly alarmed at a conversation I overheard somewhere outside the

stable. I could not make out a sentence, but trembled to think I knew

one of the voices at least, and, rather than not be mistaken, I would

that any man had run me through with a sword. I fell into a cold sweat,

and once thought of instantly putting hand to my own life, as my only

means of relief (may the rash and sinful thought be in mercy forgiven!)

when I heard as it were two persons at the door, contending, as I

thought, about their right and interest in me. That the one was

forcibly preventing the admission of the other, I could hear

distinctly, and their language was mixed with something dreadful and

mysterious. In an agony of terror, I awakened my snoring companion with

great difficulty, and asked him, in a low whisper, who these were at

the door. The man lay silent and listening till fairly awake, and then

asked if I heard anything. I said I had heard strange voices contending

at the door.

"Then I can tell you, lad, it has been something neither good nor

canny," said he. "It's no for naething that our horses are snorking

that gate."

For the first time, I remarked that the animals were snorting and

rearing as if they wished to break through the house. The man called to

them by their names, and ordered them to be quiet; but they raged still

the more furiously. He then roused his drowsy companions, who were

alike alarmed at the panic of the horses, all of them declaring that

they had never seen either Mause or jolly start in their lives before.

My bed-fellow and another then ventured down the ladder, and I heard

one of them then saying: "Lord be wi' us! What can be i' the house? The

sweat's rinning off the poor beasts like water."

They agreed to sally out together, and if possible to reach the kitchen

and bring a light. I was glad at this, but not so much so when I heard

the one man saying to the other, in a whisper: "I wish that stranger

man may be canny enough."

"God kens!" said the other. "It does nae look unco weel."

The lad in the other bed, hearing this, set up his head in manifest

affright as the other two departed for the kitchen; and, I believed he

would have been glad to have been in their company. This lad was next

the ladder, at which I was extremely glad, for, had he not been there,

the world should not have induced me to wait the return of these two

men. They were not well gone before I heard another distinctly enter

the stable, and come towards the ladder. The lad who was sitting up in

his bed, intent on the watch, called out: "Wha's that there? Walker, is

that you? Purdie, I say is it you?"

The darkling intruder paused for a few moments, and then came towards

the foot of the ladder. The horses broke loose, and, snorting and

neighing for terror, raged through the house. In all my life I never

heard so frightful a commotion. The being that occasioned it all now

began to mount the ladder towards our loft, on which the lad in the bed

next the ladder sprung from his couch, crying out: "The L--d A--y

preserve us! What can it be?" With that he sped across the loft and by

my bed, praying lustily all the way; and, throwing himself from the

other end of the loft into a manger, he darted, naked as he was,

through among the furious horses, and, making the door that stood open,

in a moment he vanished and left me in the lurch. Powerless with

terror, and calling out fearfully, I tried to follow his example; but,

not knowing the situation of the places with regard to one another, I

missed the manger, and fell on the pavement in one of the stalls. I was

both stunned and lamed on the knee; but, terror prevailing, I got up

and tried to escape. It was out of my power; for there were divisions

and cross divisions in the house, and mad horses smashing everything

before them, so that I knew not so much as on what side of the house

the door was. Two or three times was I knocked down by the animals, but

all the while I never stinted crying out with all my power. At length,

I was seized by the throat and hair of the head, and dragged away, I

wist not whither. My voice was now laid, and all my powers, both mental

and bodily, totally overcome; and I remember no more till I found

myself lying naked on the kitchen table of the farm-house, and

something like a horse's rug thrown over me. The only hint that I got

from the people of the house on coming to myself was that my absence

would be good company; and that they had got me in a woeful state, one

which they did not choose to describe, or hear described.

As soon as day-light appeared, I was packed about my business, with the

hisses and execrations of the yeoman's family, who viewed me as a being

to be shunned, ascribing to me the visitations of that unholy night.

Again was I on my way southwards, as lonely, hopeless, and degraded a

being as was to be found on life's weary round. As I limped out the

way, I wept, thinking of what I might have been, and what I really had

become: of my high and flourishing hopes when I set out as the avenger

of God on the sinful children of men; of all that I had dared for the

exaltation and progress of the truth; and it was with great difficulty

that my faith remained unshaken, yet was I preserved from that sin, and

comforted myself with the certainty that the believer's progress

through life is one of warfare and suffering.

My case was indeed a pitiable one. I was lame, hungry, fatigued, and my

resources on the very eve of being exhausted. Yet these were but

secondary miseries, and hardly worthy of a thought compared with those

I suffered inwardly. I not only looked around me with terror at every

one that approached, but I was become a terror to myself, or, rather,

my body and soul were become terrors to each other; and, had it been

possible, I felt as if they would have gone to war. I dared not look at

my face in a glass, for I shuddered at my own image and likeness. I

dreaded the dawning, and trembled at the approach of night, nor was

there one thing in nature that afforded me the least delight.

In this deplorable state of body and mind, was I jogging on towards the

Tweed, by the side of the small river called Ellan, when, just at the

narrowest part of the glen, whom should I meet full in the face but the

very being in all the universe of God would the most gladly have

shunned. I had no power to fly fro him, neither durst I, for the spirit

within me, accuse him of falsehood and renounce his fellowship. I stood

before him like a condemned criminal, staring him in the face, ready to

be winded, twisted, and tormented as he pleased. He regarded me with a

sad and solemn look. How changed was now that majestic countenance to

one of haggard despair--changed in all save the extraordinary likeness

to my late brother, a resemblance which misfortune and despair tended

only to heighten. There were no kind greetings passed between us at

meeting, like those which pass between the men of the world; he looked

on me with eyes that froze the currents of my blood, but spoke not till

I assumed as much courage as to articulate: "You here! I hope you have

brought me tidings of comfort?"

"Tidings of despair!" said he. "But such tidings as the timid and the

ungrateful deserve, and have reason to expect. You are an outlaw, and a

vagabond in your country, and a high reward is offered for your

apprehension. The enraged populace have burnt your house, and all that

is within it; and the farmers on the land bless themselves at being rid

of you. So fare it with everyone who puts his hand to the great work of

man's restoration to freedom, and draweth back, contemning the light

that is within him! Your enormities caused me to leave you to yourself

for a season, and you see what the issue has been. You have given some

evil ones power over you, who long to devour you, both soul and body,

and it has required all my power and influence to save you. Had it not

been for my hand, you had been torn in pieces last night; but for once

I prevailed. We must leave this land forthwith, for here there is

neither peace, safety, nor comfort for us. Do you now and here pledge

yourself to one who has so often saved your life and has put his own at

stake to do so? Do you pledge yourself that you will henceforth be

guided by my counsel, and follow me whithersoever I choose to lead?"

"I have always been swayed by your counsel," said I, "and for your

sake, principally, am I sorry that all our measures have proved

abortive. But I hope still to be useful in my native isle, therefore

let me plead that your highness will abandon a poor despised and

outcast wretch to his fate, and betake you to your realms, where your

presence cannot but be greatly wanted."

"Would that I could do so!" said he woefully. "But to talk of that is

to talk of an impossibility. I am wedded to you so closely that I feel

as if I were the same person. Our essences are one, our bodies and

spirits being united, so that I am drawn towards you as by magnetism,

and, wherever you are, there must my presence be with you."

Perceiving how this assurance affected me, he began to chide me most

bitterly for my ingratitude; and then he assumed such looks that it was

impossible for me longer to bear them; therefore I staggered out of the

way, begging and beseeching of him to give me up to my fate, and hardly

knowing what I said; for it struck me that, with all his assumed

appearance of misery and wretchedness, there were traits of exultation

in his hideous countenance, manifesting a secret and inward joy at my

utter despair.

It was long before I durst look over my shoulder, but, when I did so, I

perceived this ruined and debased potentate coming slowly on the same

path, and I prayed that the Lord would hide me in the bowels of the

earth or depths of the sea. When I crossed the Tweed, I perceived him

still a little behind me; and, my despair being then at its height, I

cursed the time I first met with such a tormentor; though on a little

recollection it occurred that it was at that blessed time when I was

solemnly dedicated to the Lord, and assured of my final election, and

confirmation, by an eternal decree never to be annulled. This being my

sole and only comfort, I recalled my curse upon the time, and repented

me o my rashness.

After crossing the Tweed, I saw no more of my persecutor that day, and

had hopes that he had left me for a season; but, alas, what hope was

there of my relief after the declaration I had so lately heard! I took

up my lodgings that night in a small miserable inn in the village of

Ancrum, of which the people seemed alike poor and ignorant. Before

going to bed, I asked if it was customary with them to have family

worship of evenings. The man answered that they were so hard set with

the world they often could not get time, but if I would be so kind as

to officiate they would be much obliged to me. I accepted the

invitation, being afraid to go to rest lest the commotions of the

foregoing night might be renewed, and continued the worship as long as

in decency I could. The poor people thanked me, hoped my prayers would

be heard both on their account and my own, seemed much taken with my

abilities, and wondered how a man of my powerful eloquence chanced to

be wandering about in a condition so forlorn. I said I was a poor

student of theology, on my way to Oxford. They stared at one another

with expressions of wonder, disappointment, and fear. I afterwards came

to learn that the term theology was by them quite misunderstood, and

that they had some crude conceptions that nothing was taught at Oxford

but the black arts, which ridiculous idea prevailed over all the south

of Scotland. For the present I could not understand what the people

meant, and less so when the man asked me, with deep concern: "If I was

serious in my intentions of going to Oxford? He hoped not, and that I

would be better guided."

I said my education wanted finishing; but he remarked that the Oxford

arts were a bad finish for a religious man's education. Finally, I

requested him to sleep with me, or in my room all the night, as I

wanted some serious and religious conversation with him, and likewise

to convince him that the study of the fine arts, though not absolutely

necessary, were not incompatible with the character of a Christian

divine. He shook his head, and wondered how I could call them fine

arts--hoped I did not mean to convince him by any ocular demonstration,

and at length reluctantly condescended to sleep with me, and let the

lass and wife sleep together for one night. I believe he would have

declined it had it not been some hints from his wife, stating that it

was a good arrangement, by which I understood there were only two beds

in the house, and that when I was preferred to the lass's bed, she had

one to shift for.

The landlord and I accordingly retired to our homely bed, and conversed

for some time about indifferent matters, till he fell sound asleep. Not

so with me: I had that within which would not suffer me to close my

eyes; and, about the dead of night, I again heard the same noises and

contention begin outside the house as I had heard the night before; and

again I heard it was about a sovereign and peculiar right in me. At one

time the noise was on the top of the house, straight above our bed, as

if the one party were breaking through the roof, and the other forcibly

preventing it; at another it was at the door, and at a third time at

the window; but still mine host lay sound by my side, and did not

waken. I was seized with terrors indefinable, and prayed fervently, but

did not attempt rousing my sleeping companion until I saw if no better

could be done. The women, however, were alarmed, and, rushing into our

apartment, exclaimed that all the devils in hell were besieging the

house. Then, indeed, the landlord awoke, and it was time for him, for

the tumult had increased to such a degree that it shook the house to

its foundations, being louder and more furious than I could have

conceived the heat of battle to be when the volleys of artillery are

mixed with groans, shouts, and blasphemous cursing. It thundered and

lightened; and there were screams, groans, laughter, and execrations,

all intermingled.

I lay trembling and bathed in a cold perspiration, but was soon obliged

to bestir myself, the inmates attacking me one after the other.

"Oh, Tam Douglas! Tam Douglas! haste ye an' rise out frayont that

incarnal devil!" cried the wife. "Ye are in ayont the auld ane himsel,

for our lass Tibbie saw his cloven cloots last night."

"Lord forbid!" roared Tam Douglas, and darted over the bed like a

flying fish. Then, hearing the unearthly tumult with which he was

surrounded, he turned to the side of the bed, and addressed me thus,

with long and fearful intervals:

"If ye be the Deil, rise up, an' depart in peace out o' this

house--afore the bedstrae take kindling about ye, an' than it'll maybe

be the waur for ye. Get up--an' gang awa out amang your cronies, like a

good lad. There's nae body here wishes you ony ill. D'ye hear me?"

"Friend," said I, "no Christian would turn out a fellow creature on

such a night as this and in the midst of such a commotion of the

villagers."

"Na, if ye be a mortal man," said he, "which I rather think, from the

use you made of the holy book. Nane o' your practical jokes on

strangers an' honest foks. These are some o' your Oxford tricks, an'

I'll thank you to be ower wi' them. Gracious heaven, they are brikkin

through the house at a' the four corners at the same time!"

The lass Tibby, seeing the innkeeper was not going to prevail with me

to rise, flew towards the bed in desperation, and, seizing me by the

waist, soon landed me on the floor, saying: "Be ye deil, be ye chiel,

ye's no lie there till baith the house an' us be swallowed up!"

Her master and mistress applauding the deed, I was obliged to attempt

dressing myself, a task to which my powers were quite inadequate in the

state I was in, but I was readily assisted by every one of the three;

and, as soon as they got my clothes thrust on in a loose way, they shut

their eyes lest they should see what might drive them distracted, and

thrust me out to the street, cursing me, and calling on the fiends to

take their prey and be gone.

The scene that ensued is neither to be described nor believed if it

were. I was momently surrounded by a number of hideous fiends, who

gnashed on me with their teeth, and clenched their crimson paws in my

face; and at the same instant I was seized by the collar of my coat

behind, by my dreaded and devoted friend, who pushed me on and, with

his gilded rapier waving and brandishing around me, defended me against

all their united attacks. Horrible as my assailants were in appearance

(and they all had monstrous shapes) I felt that I would rather have

fallen into their hands than be thus led away captive by my defender at

his will and pleasure without having the right or power to say my life,

or any part of my will, was my own. I could not even thank him for his

potent guardianship, but hung down my head, and moved on I knew not

whither, like a criminal led to execution and still the infernal combat

continued till about the dawning, at which time I looked up, and all

the fiends were expelled but one, who kept at a distance; and still my

persecutor and defender pushed me by the neck before him.

At length he desired me to sit down and take some rest, with which I

complied, for I had great need of it, and wanted the power to withstand

what he desired. There, for a whole morning did he detain me,

tormenting me with reflections on the past, and pointing out the

horrors of the future, until a thousand times I wished myself

non-existent. "I have attached myself to your wayward fortune," said

he, "and it has been my ruin as well as thine. Ungrateful as you are, I

cannot give you up to be devoured; but this is a life that it is

impossible to brook longer. Since our hopes are blasted in this world,

and all our schemes of grandeur overthrown; and since our everlasting

destiny is settled by a decree which no act of ours can invalidate, let

us fall by our own hands, or by the hands of each other; die like

heroes; and, throwing off this frame of dross and corruption, mingle

with the pure ethereal essence of existence, from which we derived our

being."

I shuddered at a view of the dreadful alternative, yet was obliged to

confess that in my present circumstances existence was not to be borne.

It was in vain that I reasoned on the sinfulness of the deed, and on

its damning nature; he made me condemn myself out of my own mouth, by

allowing the absolute nature of justifying grace and the impossibility

of the elect ever falling from the faith, or the glorious end to which

they were called; and then he said, this granted, self-destruction was

the act of a hero, and none but a coward would shrink from it, to

suffer a hundred times more every day and night that passed over his

head.

I said I was still contented to be that coward; and all that I begged

of him was to leave me to my fortune for a season, and to the just

judgement of my Creator; but he said his word and honour were engaged

on my behalf, and these, in such a case, were not to be violated. "If

you will not pity yourself, have pity onme," added he. "Turn your eyes

on me, and behold to what I am reduced."

Involuntarily did I turn at the request, and caught a half glance of

his features. May no eye destined to reflect the beauties of the New

Jerusalem inward upon the beatific soul behold such a sight as mine

then beheld! My immortal spirit, blood and bones, were all withered at

the blasting sight; and I arose and withdrew, with groanings which the

pangs of death shall never wring from me.

Not daring to look behind me, I crept on my way, and that night reached

this hamlet on the Scottish border; and being grown reckless of danger,

and hardened to scenes of horror, I took up my lodging with a poor

hind, who is a widower, and who could only accommodate me with a bed of

rushes at his fireside. At midnight I heard some strange sounds, too

much resembling those to which I had of late been inured; but they kept

at a distance, and I was soon persuaded that there was a power

protected that house superior to those that contended for or had the

mastery over me. Overjoyed at finding such an asylum, I remained in the

humble cot. This is the third day I have lived under the roof, freed of

my hellish assailants, spending my time in prayer, and writing out this

my journal, which I have fashioned to stick in with my printed work,

and to which I intend to add portions while I remain in this pilgrimage

state, which, I find too well, cannot be long.

August 3, 1712.--This morning the hind has brought me word from

Redesdale, whither he had been for coals, that a stranger gentleman had

been traversing that country, making the most earnest inquiries after

me, or one of the same appearance; and, from the description that he

brought of this stranger, I could easily perceive who it was. Rejoicing

that my tormentor has lost traces of me for once, I am making haste to

leave my asylum, on pretence of following this stranger, but in reality

to conceal myself still more completely from his search. Perhaps this

may be the last sentence ever I am destined to write. If so, farewell,

Christian reader! May God grant to thee a happier destiny than has been

allotted to me here on earth, and the same assurance of acceptance

above! Amen.

Ault-Righ, August 24, 1712.--Here am I, set down on the open moor to

add one sentence more to my woeful journal; and, then, farewell, all

beneath the sun!

On leaving the hind's cottage on the Border, I hasted to the

north-west, because in that quarter I perceived the highest and wildest

hills before me. As I crossed the mountains above Hawick, I exchanged

clothes with a poor homely shepherd, whom I found lying on a hill-side,

singing to himself some woeful love ditty. He was glad of the change,

and proud of his saintly apparel; and I was no less delighted with

mine, by which I now supposed myself completely disguised; and I found

moreover that in this garb of a common shepherd I was made welcome in

every house. I slept the first night in a farm-house nigh to the church

of Roberton, without hearing or seeing aught extraordinary; yet I

observed next morning that all the servants kept aloof from me, and

regarded me with looks of aversion. The next night I came to this

house, where the farmer engaged me as a shepherd; and, finding him a

kind, worthy, and religious man, I accepted of his terms with great

gladness. I had not, however, gone many times to the sheep, before all

the rest of the shepherds told my master that I knew nothing about

herding, and begged of him to dismiss me. He perceived too well the

truth of their intelligence; but, being much taken with my learning and

religious conversation, he would not put me away, but set me to herd

his cattle.

It was lucky for me that before I came here a report had prevailed,

perhaps for an age, that this farm-house was haunted at certain seasons

by a ghost. I say it was lucky for me for I had not been in it many

days before the same appalling noises began to prevail around me about

midnight, often continuing till near the dawning. Still they kept

aloof, and without doors; for this gentleman's house, like the cottage

I was in formerly, seemed to be a sanctuary from all demoniacal power.

He appears to be a good man and a just, and mocks at the idea of

supernatural agency, and he either does not hear these persecuting

spirits or will not acknowledge it, though of late he appears much

perturbed.

The consternation of the menials has been extreme. They ascribe all to

the ghost, and tell frightful stories of murders having been committed

there long ago. Of late, however, they are beginning to suspect that it

is I that am haunted; and, as I have never given them any satisfactory

account of myself, they are whispering that I am a murderer, and

haunted by the spirits of those I have slain.

August 30.--This day I have been informed that I am to be banished the

dwelling-house by night, and to sleep in an outhouse by myself, to try

if the family can get any rest when freed of my presence. I have

peremptorily refused acquiescence, on which my master's brother struck

me, and kicked me with his foot. My body being quite exhausted by

suffering, I am grown weak and feeble both in mind and bodily frame,

and actually unable to resent any insult or injury. I am the child of

earthly misery and despair, if ever there was one existent. My master

is still my friend; but there are so many masters here, and everyone of

them alike harsh to me, that I wish myself in my grave every hour of

the day. If I am driven from the family sanctuary by night, I know I

shall be torn in pieces before morning; and then who will deign or dare

to gather up my mangled limbs, and give me honoured burial?

My last hour is arrived: I see my tormentor once more approaching me in

this wild. Oh, that the earth would swallow me up, or the hill fall and

cover me! Farewell for ever!

September 7, 1712.--My devoted, princely, but sanguine friend has been

with me again and again. My time is expired and I find a relief beyond

measure, for he has fully convinced me that no act of mine can mar the

eternal counsel, or in the smallest degree alter or extenuate one event

which was decreed before the foundations of the world were laid. He

said he had watched over me with the greatest anxiety, but, perceiving

my rooted aversion towards him, he had forborne troubling me with his

presence. But now, seeing that I was certainly to be driven from my

sanctuary that night, and that there would be a number of infernals

watching to make a prey of my body, he came to caution me not to

despair, for that he would protect me at all risks, if the power

remained with him. He then repeated an ejaculatory prayer, which I was

to pronounce, if in great extremity. I objected to the words as

equivocal, and susceptible of being rendered in a meaning perfectly

dreadful; but he reasoned against this, and all reasoning with him is

to no purpose. He said he did not ask me to repeat the words unless

greatly straitened; and that I saw his strength and power giving way,

and when perhaps nothing else could save me.

The dreaded hour of night arrived; and, as he said, I was expelled from

the family residence, and ordered to a byre, or cow-house, that stood

parallel with the dwelling-house behind, where, on a divot loft, my

humble bedstead stood, and the cattle grunted and puffed below me. How

unlike the splendid halls of Dalcastle! And to what I am now reduced,

let the reflecting reader judge. Lord, thou knowest all that I have

done for Thy cause on earth! Why then art Thou laying Thy hand so sore

upon me? Why hast Thou set me as a butt of Thy malice? But Thy will

must be done! Thou wilt repay me in a better world. Amen.

September 8.--My first night of trial in this place is overpast! Would

that it were the last that I should ever see in this detested world! If

the horrors of hell are equal to those I have suffered, eternity will

be of short duration there, for no created energy can support them for

one single month, or week. I have been buffeted as never living

creature was. My vitals have all been torn, and every faculty and

feeling of my soul racked, and tormented into callous insensibility. I

was even hung by the locks over a yawning chasm, to which I could

perceive no bottom, and then--not till then, did I repeat the

tremendous prayer!--I was instantly at liberty; and what I now am, the

Almighty knows! Amen.

September 18, 1712.--Still am I living, though liker to a vision than a

human being; but this is my last day of mortal existence. Unable to

resist any longer, I pledged myself to my devoted friend that on this

day we should die together, and trust to the charity of the children of

men for a grave. I am solemnly pledged; and, though I dared to repent,

I am aware he will not be gainsaid, for he is raging with despair at

his fallen and decayed majesty, and there is some miserable comfort in

the idea that my tormentor shall fall with me. Farewell, world, with

all thy miseries; for comforts or enjoyments hast thou none! Farewell,

woman, whom I have despised and shunned; and man, whom I have hated;

whom, nevertheless, I desire to leave in charity! And thou, sun, bright

emblem of a far brighter effulgence, I bid farewell to thee also! I do

not now take my last look of thee, for to thy glorious orb shall a poor

suicide's last earthly look be raised. But, ah! who is yon that I see

approaching furiously, his stern face blackened with horrid despair! My

hour is at hand. Almighty God, what is this that I am about to do! The

hour of repentance is past, and now my fate is inevitable. Amen, for

ever! I will now seal up my little book, and conceal it; and cursed be

he who trieth to alter or amend.