CHILDHOOD.
_The child is father of the man_.--WORDSWORTH.
_Bairns are blessings_--SHAKESPEARE.
_These are MY jewels!_--CORNELLA.
ABLUTION.
116. _At twelve months old, do you still recommend a child to be_ PUT
IN HIS TUB _to be washed_?
Certainly I do, as I have previously recommended at page 6, in order
that his skin may be well and thoroughly cleansed. If it be summer
time, the water should be used cold; if it be winter, a dash of warm
must be added, so that it may be of the temperature of new milk: but
do not, on any account use _very warm_ water. The head must be washed
(but not dried) before he be placed in a tub, then, putting him in the
tub (containing the necessary quantity of water, and washing him as
previously recommended), [Footnote: See Infancy-Ablution, page 6.] a
large sponge should be filled with the water and squeezed over his
head, so that the water may stream over the whole surface of his
body. A jugful of water should, just before taking him out of his
bath, be poured over and down his loins; all this ought rapidly to be
done, and he must be quickly dried with soft towels, and then
expeditiously dressed. For the washing of your child I would recommend
you to use Castile soap in preference to any other; it is more pure,
and less irritating, and hence does not injure the texture of the
skin. Take care that the soap does not get into his eyes, or it might
produce irritation and smarting.
117. _Some mothers object to a child's STANDING in the water._
If the head be wetted before he be placed in the tub, and if he be
washed as above directed, there can be no valid objection to it. He
must not be allowed to remain in his tab more than five minutes.
118. _Does not washing the child's head, every morning, make him more
liable to catch cold, and does it not tend to weaken his sight_?
It does neither the one nor the other; on the contrary, it prevents
cold, and strengthens his sight; it cleanses his scalp, prevents
scurf, and, by that means, causes a more beautiful bead of hair. The
head, after each washing, ought, with a soft brush, to be well
brushed, but should not be combed. The brushing causes a healthy
circulation of the scalp; but combing the hair makes the head scurfy,
and pulls out the hair by the roots.
119. _If the head, notwithstanding the washing, be scurfy, what should
be done_?
After the head has been well dried, let a little cocoa-nut oil be well
rubbed, for five minutes each time, into the roots of the hair, and,
afterwards, let the head be well brushed, but not combed. The
fine-tooth comb will cause a greater accumulation of scurf, and will
scratch and injure the scalp.
120. _Do you recommend a child to be washed_ IN HIS TUB _every night
and morning_?
No; once a day is quite sufficient; in the morning in preference to
the evening; unless he be poorly, then, evening instead of morning;
as, immediately after he has been washed and dried, he can be put to
bed.
121. _Ought a child to be placed in his tub whilst he is in a state of
perspiration_?
Not whilst he is perspiring _violently,_ or the perspiration might he
checked suddenly, and ill consequences would ensue; _nor ought he to
be put in his tub when he is cold,_ or his blood would be chilled, and
would be sent from the skin to some internal vital part, and thus
would be likely to light up inflammation--probably of the lungs. His
skin, when he is placed in his bath, ought to be moderately and
comfortably warm; neither too hot nor too cold.
122. _When the child is a year old, do you recommend cold or warm
water to be used_?
If it be winter, a little warm water ought to be added, so as to raise
the temperature to that of new milk. As the summer advances, less and
less warm water is required, so that, at length, none is needed.
123. _If a child be delicate, do you recommend anything to be added to
the water which may tend to brace and strengthen him_?
Either a handful of table-salt, or half a handful of bay-salt, or of
Tidman's sea-salt, should be previously dissolved in a quart jug of
_cold_ water; then, just before taking the child out of his morning
bath, let the above be poured over and down the back and loins of the
child--holding the jug, while pouring its contents on the back, a foot
distant from the child, in order that it might act as a kind of douche
bath.
124. _Do you recommend the child, after he has been dried with the
towel, to be rubbed with the hand_?
I do; as friction encourages the cutaneous circulation, and causes the
skin to perform its functions properly, thus preventing the
perspiration (which is one of the impurities of the body) from being
sent inwardly either to the lungs or to other parts. The back, the
chest, the bowels, and the limbs are the parts that ought to be well
rubbed.
CLOTHING
125. _Have you any remarks to make on the clothing of a child_?
Children, boys and girls, especially if they be delicate, ought always
to wear high dresses up to their necks. The exposure of the upper
part of the chest (if the child be weakly) is dangerous. It is in the
_upper_ part of the lungs, in the region of the collar bones, that
consumption first shows itself. The clothing of a child, more
especially about the chest, should be large and full in every part,
and be free from tight strings, so that the circulation of the blood
may not be impeded, and that there may be plenty of room for the fall
development of the rapidly-growing body.
His frock, or tonic, ought to be of woollen material--warm, light, and
porous, in order that the perspiration may rapidly evaporate. The
practice of some mothers in allowing their children to wear tight
bands round their waists, and tight clothes, is truly reprehensible.
_Tight_ bands or _tight_ belts around the waist of a child are very
injurious to health; they crib in the chest, and thus interfere with
the rising and the falling of the ribs--so essential to
breathing. _Tight_ hats ought never to be worn; by interfering with
the circulation they cause headaches. Nature delights in freedom, and
resents interference!
126. _What parts of the body in particular ought to be kept warm_?
The chest, the bowels, and the feet, should be kept comfortably
warm. We must guard against an opposite extreme, and not keep them too
hot. The head alone should be kept cool, on which account I do not
approve either of night or of day caps.
127. _What are the best kinds of hat for a child_?
The best covering for the head, when he is out and about, is a
loose-fitting straw hat, which will allow the perspiration to
escape. It should have a broad rim, to screen the eyes. A sun-shade,
that is to say, a sea-side hat--a hat made of cotton--with a wide brim
to keep off the sun, is also an excellent hat for a child; it is very
light, and allows a free escape of the perspiration. It can be
bought, ready made, at a baby-linen warehouse.
A knitted or crocheted woollen hat, with woollen rosettes to keep the
ears warm, and which may be procured at any baby-linen warehouse,
makes a nice and comfortable winter's hat for a child. It is also a
good hat for him to wear while performing a long journey. The colour
chosen is generally scarlet and white, which, in cold weather, gives
it a warm and comfortable appearance.
It is an abominable practice to cover a child's head with beaver or
with felt, or with any thick impervious material It is a
well-ascertained fact, that beaver and silk hats cause men to suffer
from headache, and to lose their hair--the reason being, that the
perspiration cannot possibly escape through them. Now, if the
perspiration cannot escape, dangerous, or at all events injurious,
consequences must ensue, as it is well known that the skin is a
breathing apparatus, and that it will not with impunity bear
interference.
Neither a child nor any one else should be permitted to be in the
glare of the son without his hat. If he be allowed, he is likely to
have a sun-stroke, which might either at once kill him, or might make
him an idiot for the remainder of his life; which latter would be the
worse alternative of the two.
128. _Have you, any remarks to make on keeping a child's hands and
legs warm when in the winter time he it carried out_?
When a child either walks or is carried out in wintry weather, be sure
and see that both his hands and legs are well protected from the
cold. There is nothing for this purpose like woollen gloves, and
woollen stockings coming up over the knees.
129. _Do you approve of a child wearing a flannel nightgown_?
He frequently throws the clothes off him, and has occasion to be taken
up in the night, and if he have not a flannel gown on, is likely to
catch cold; on which account I recommend it to be worn. The usual
calico night-gown should be worn _under_ it.
130. _Do you advise a child to be LIGHTLY clad, in order that he may
be hardened thereby_?
I should fear that such a plan, instead of hardening, would be likely
to produce a contrary effect. It is an ascertained fact that more
children of the poor, who are thus lightly clad, die, than of those
who are properly defended from the cold. Again, what holds good with a
young plant is equally applicable to a young child; and we all know
that it is ridiculous to think of unnecessarily exposing a tender
plant to harden it. If it were thus exposed, it would wither and die.
131. _If a child be delicate, if he have a cold body, or a languid
circulation, or if he be predisposed to inflammation of the lungs, do
you approve of his wearing flannel instead of linen shirts_?
I do; as flannel tends to keep the body at an equal temperature, thus
obviating the effects of the sudden changes of the weather, and
promotes by gentle friction the cutaneous circulation, thus warming
the cold body, and giving an impetus to the languid circulation, and
preventing an undue quantity of blood from being sent to the lungs,
either to light up or to feed inflammation _Fine_ flannel, of course,
ought to be worn, which should be changed as frequently as the usual
shirts.
If a child have had an attack either of bronchitis or of inflammation
of the lungs, or if he have just recovered from scarlet fever, by all
means, if he have not previously worn flannel, _instantly_ let him
begin to do so, and let him, _next_ to the skin, wear a flannel
waistcoat. _This is important advice, and ought not to be
disregarded_.
_Scarlet_ flannel is now much used instead of _white_ flannel; and as
scarlet flannel has a more comfortable appearance, and does not shrink
so much in washing, it may be substituted for the white.
132. _Have you any remarks to make on the shoes and stockings of a
child? and on the right way of cutting the toe-nails_?
He ought, daring the winter, to wear lamb's wool stockings that will
reach _above_ the knees, and _thick_ calico drawers that will reach a
few inches _below_ the knees; as it is of the utmost importance to
keep the lower extremities comfortably warm. It is really painful to
see how many mothers expose the bare legs of their little ones to the
frosty air, even in the depths of winter.
Be sure and see that the boots and shoes of your child be sound and
whole; for if they be not so, they will let in the damp, and if the
damp, disease and perhaps death. "If the poor would take better care
of their children's feet half the infantile mortality would
disappear. It only costs twopence to put a piece of thick felt or cork
into the bottom of a boot or shoe, and the difference is often between
that and a doctors bill, with, perhaps, the undertaker's
besides."--_Daily Telegraph_,
Garters ought not to be worn, as they impede the circulation, waste
the muscles, and interfere with walking. The stocking may be secured
in its place by means of a loop and tape, which should be fastened to
a part of the dress.
Let me urge upon you the importance of not allowing your child to wear
_tight_ shoes; they cripple the feet, causing the joints of the toes,
which ought to have free play, and which should assist in walking, to
be, in a manner, useless; they produce corns and bunions, and
interfere with the proper circulation of the foot. A shoe ought to be
made according to the shape of the foot--rights and lefts are
therefore desirable. The toe-part of the shoe must be made broad, so
as to allow plenty of room for the toes to expand, and that one toe
cannot overlap another. Be sure, then, that there be no pinching and
no pressure. In the article of shoes you ought to be particular and
liberal; pay attention to having nicely fitting ones, and let them be
made of soft leather, and throw them on one side the moment they are
too small. It is poor economy, indeed, because a pair of shoes be not
worn out, to run the risk of incurring the above evil consequences.
_Shoes are far preferable to boots:_ boots weaken instead of
strengthen the ankle. The ankle and instep require free play, and
ought not to be hampered by boots. Moreover, boots, by undue
pressure, decidedly waste away the ligaments of the ankle. Boots act
on the ankles in a similar way that stays do on the waist--they do
mischief by pressure. Boots waste away the ligaments of the ankle;
stays waste away the muscles of the back and chest; and thus, in both
cases, do irreparable mischief.
A shoe for a child ought to be made with a narrow strap over the
instep, and with button and button-hole; if it be not made in this
way, the shoe will not keep on the foot.
It is a grievous state of things, that in the nineteenth century there
are but few shoemakers who know how to make a shoe! The shoe is made
not to fit a real foot, but a fashionable imaginary one! The poor
unfortunate toes are in consequence screwed up as in a vice!
Let me strongly urge you to be particular that the sock, or stocking,
fits nicely--that it is neither too small nor too large; if it be too
small, it binds up the toes unmercifully, and makes one toe to ride
over the other, and thus renders the toes perfectly useless in
walking; if it be too large, it is necessary to lap a portion of the
sock, or stocking, either under or over the toes, which thus presses
unduly upon them, and gives pain and annoyance. It should be borne in
mind, that if the toes have full play, they, as it were, grasp the
ground, and greatly assist in locomotion--which, of course, if they
are cramped up, they cannot possibly do. Be careful, too, that the
toe-part of the sock, or stocking, be not pointed; let it be made
square in order to give room to the toes. "At this helpless period of
life, the delicately feeble, outspreading toes are wedged into a
narrow-toed stocking, often so short as to double in the toes,
diminishing the length of the rapidly growing foot! It is next,
perhaps, tightly laced into a boot of less interior dimensions than
itself; when the poor little creature is left to sprawl about with a
limping, stumping gait, thus learning to walk as it best can, under
circumstances the most cruel and torturing imaginable." [Footnote:
_The Foot and its Covering_, second edition. By James Dowie. London:
1872. I beg to call a mother's especial attention to this valuable
little book: it is written by an earnest intelligent man, by one who
has studied the subject in all its bearings, and by one who is himself
a shoemaker.]
It is impossible for either a stocking, or a shoe, to fit nicely
unless the toe-nails be kept in proper order. Now, in cutting the
toe-nails, there is, as in everything else, a right and a wrong
way. The _right_ way of cutting a toe-nail is to cut it straight--in a
straight line. The _wrong_ way is to cut the corners of the nail--to
round the nail as it is called. This cutting the corners of the nails
often makes work for the surgeon, as I myself can testify; it
frequently produces "growing-in" of the nail, which sometimes
necessitates the removal of either the nail, or a portion of it.
133. _At what time of the year should a child leave off his winter
clothing_?
A mother ought not to leave off her children's winter clothing until
the spring be far advanced: it is far better to be on the safe side,
and to allow the winter clothes to be worn until the end of May. The
old adage is very good, and should be borne in mind:--
"Button to chin
Till May be in;
Ne'er cast a clout
Till May be out."
134. _Have you any general remarks to make on the present fashion of
dressing children_?
The present fashion is absurd. Children are frequently dressed like
mountebanks, with feathers and furbelows and finery; the boys go
bare-legged; the little girls are dressed like women, with their
stuck-out petticoats, crinolines, and low dresses! Their poor little
waists are drawn in tight, so that they can scarcely breathe; their
dresses are very low and short, the consequence is, that a great part
of the chest is exposed to our variable climate; their legs are bare
down to their thin socks, or if they be clothed, they are only covered
with gossamer drawers; while their feet are encased in tight shoes of
paper thickness! Dress! dress! dress! is made with them, at a tender
age, and when first impressions are the strongest, a most important
consideration. They are thus rendered vain and frivolous, and are
taught to consider dress "as the one thing needful" And if they live
to be women--which the present fashion is likely frequently to
prevent--what are they? Silly, simpering, delicate, lack-a-daisical
nonentities; dress being their amusement, their occupation, their
conversation, their everything, their thoughts by day and their dreams
by night! Truly they are melancholy objects to behold! Let children be
dressed as children, not as men and women. Let them be taught that
dress is quite a secondary consideration. Let health, and not
fashion, be the first, and we shall then have, with God's blessing,
blooming children, who will, in time, be the pride and strength of
dear old England!
DIET.
135. _At TWELVE months old, have you any objection to a child having
any other food besides that you mentioned in answer to the 34th
question_?
There is no objection to his _occasionally_ having, for dinner, either
a mealy, _mashed_ potato and gravy, or a few crumbs of bread and
gravy. Rice-pudding or batter-pudding may, for a change, be given; but
remember, the food recommended in a former Conversation is what, until
he be eighteen months old, must be principally taken. During the early
months of infancy--say, for the first six or seven--if artificial food
be given at all, it should be administered by means of a
feeding-bottle. After that time, either a spoon, or a nursing boat,
will be preferable. The food as he becomes older, ought to be made
more solid.
136. _At_ EIGHTEEN _months old, have you any objection to a child
having meat_?
He ought not to have meat until he have several teeth to chew it
with. If he has most of his teeth--which he very likely at this age
will have--there is no objection to his taking a small slice either of
mutton, or occasionally of roast beef, which should be well cut into
very small pieces, and mixed with a mealy _mashed_ potato, and a few
crumbs of bread and gravy; either _every_ day, if he be delicate, or
every _other_ day, if he be a gross or a fast-feeding child. It may be
well, in the generality of cases, for the first few months to give him
meat _every other_ day, and either potato or gravy, or rice or
suet-pudding or batter-pudding on the alternate days; indeed, I think
so highly of rice, of suet, and of batter-puddings, and of other
farinaceous puddings, that I should advise you to let him have either
the one or the other even on those days that he has meat--giving it
him _after_ his meat. But remember, if he have meat _and_ pudding, the
meat ought to be given sparingly. If he be gorged with food, it makes
him irritable, cross, and stupid; at one time, clogging up his bowels,
and producing constipation; at another, disordering his liver, and
causing either clay-coloured stools--denoting a _deficiency_ of bile,
or dark and offensive motions--telling of _vitiated_ bile; while, in a
third case, cramming him with food might bring on convulsions.
137. _As you are to partial to puddings for a child, which do you
consider the best for him_?
He ought, every day, to have a pudding for his dinner--either rice,
arrow-root, sago, tapioca, suet-pudding, batter-pudding, or
Yorkshire-pudding, mixed with crumbs of bread and gravy--free from
grease. A well boiled suet-pudding, with plenty of suet in it, is one
of the best puddings he can have; it is, in point of fact, meat and
farinaceous food combined, and is equal to, and will oftentimes
prevent the giving of, cod-liver oil; before cod-liver oil came into
vogue, suet boiled in milk was _the_ remedy for a delicate child. He
may, occasionally, have fruit-pudding, provided the pastry be both
plain and light.
The objection to fruit pies and puddings is, that the pastry is often
too rich for the delicate stomach of a child; there is so objection,
certainly not, to the fruit--cooked fruit being, for a child, most
wholesome; if, therefore, fruit puddings and pies be eaten, the pastry
part ought to be quite plain. There is, in "Murray's Modern Cookery
Book," an excellent suggestion, which I will take the liberty of
quoting, and of strongly urging my fair reader to carry into
practice:--"_To prepare fruit for children, a far more wholesome way
than in pies and puddings_, is to put apples sliced, or plums,
currants, gooseberries, &c., into a stone jar; and sprinkle among them
as much Lisbon sugar as necessary. Set the jar on an oven or on a
hearth, with a tea-cupful of water to prevent the fruit from burning;
or put the jar into a saucepan of water, till its contents be
perfectly done. Slices of bread or some rice may be put into the jar,
to eat with the fruit."
_Jam_--such as strawberry, raspberry, gooseberry--_is most wholesome
for a child_, and ought occasionally to be given, in lieu of sugar,
with the rice, with the batter, and with the other puddings.
Marmalade, too, is very wholesome.
Puddings ought to be given _after_ and not _before_ his meat and
vegetables; if you give him pudding before his meat, he might refuse
to eat meat altogether. By adopting the plan of giving puddings
_every_ day, your child will require _less_ animal food; _much_ meat
is injurious to a young child. But do not run into an opposite
extreme: a _little_ meat ought, every day, to be given, _provided he
has cut the whole of his first set of teeth_; until then, meat every
_other_ day will be often enough.
138. _As soon as a child has cut the whole of his first set of teeth,
what ought to be his diet?--What should be his breakfast_?
He can, then, have nothing better, where it agrees, than scalding hot
new milk poured on sliced bread, with a slice or two of bread and
butter to eat with it. Butter, in moderation, is nourishing,
fattening, and wholesome. Moreover, butter tends to keep the bowels
regular. These facts should be borne in mind, as some mothers
foolishly keep their children from butter, declaring it to be too rich
for their children's stomachs! New milk should be used in preference
either to cream or to skim-milk. Cream, as a rule, is too rich for
the delicate stomach of a child, and skim-milk is too poor when robbed
of the butter which the cream contains. But give cream and water,
where new milk (as is _occasionally_ the case) does not agree; but
never give skim-milk. _Skim_-milk (among other evils) produces
costiveness, and necessitates the frequent administration of
aperients. Cream, on the other hand, regulates and tends to open the
bowels.
Although I am not, as a rule, so partial to cream as I am to good
genuine fresh milk, yet I have found, in cases of great debility, more
especially where a child is much exhausted by some inflammatory
disease, such as inflammation of the lungs, the following food most
serviceable:--Beat up, by means of a fork, the yolk of an egg, then
mix, little by little, half a tea-cupful of very weak _black_ tea,
sweeten with one lump of sugar, and add a table-spoonful of cream. Let
the above, by tea-spoonfuls at a time be frequently given. The above
food is only to be administered until the exhaustion be removed, and
is not to supersede the milk diet, which must, at stated periods, be
given, as I have recommended in answers to previous and subsequent
questions.
When a child has costive bowels, there is nothing better for his
breakfast than well-made and well-boiled oatmeal stir-about, which
ought to be eaten with milk fresh from the cow. Scotch children
scarcely take anything else, and a finer race is not in existence;
and, as for physic, many of them do not even know either the taste or
the smell of it! You win find Robinson's Pure Scotch Oatmeal (sold in
packets) to be very pure, and sweet, and good. Stir-about is truly
said to be--
"The halesome parritch, chief of Scotia's food."--_Burns._
Cadbury's Cocoa Essence, made with equal parts of boiling water and
fresh milk, slightly sweetened with lump sugar, is an admirable food
for a delicate child. Bread and butter should be eaten with it.
139. _Have you any remarks to make on cow's milk as an article of
food_?
Cow's milk is a valuable, indeed, an indispensable article of diet,
for the young; it is most nourishing, wholesome, and digestible. The
finest and the healthiest children are those who, for the first four
or five years of their lives, are fed _principally_ upon it. Milk
ought then to be their staple food. No child, as a rule, can live, or,
if he live, can be healthy, unless milk be the staple article of his
diet. There is no substitute for milk. To prove the fattening and
strengthening qualities of milk, look only at a young calf who lives
on milk, and on milk alone! He is a Samson in strength, and is "as fat
as butter;" and all young things if they are in health are fat!
Milk, then, contains every ingredient to build up the body, which is
more than can be said of any other known substance besides. A child
may live entirely, and grow, and become both healthy and strong, on
milk and on milk alone, as it contains every constituent of the human
body. A child cannot "live by bread alone," but he might on milk
alone! Milk is animal and vegetable--it is meat and bread--it is food
and drink--it is a fluid, but as soon as it reaches the stomach it
becomes a solid [Footnote: How is milk in the making of cheese,
converted into curds? By rennet. What is rennet? The juice of a
calf's maw or stomach. The moment the milk enters the human maw or
stomach, the juice of the stomach converts it into curds--into solid
food, just as readily as when it enters a calfs maw or stomach, and
much more readily than by rennet, as the _fresh_ juice is stronger
than the _stale_. An ignorant mother often complains that because,
when her child is sick, the milk curdles, that it is a proof that it
does not agree with him! If, at those times, it did _not_ curdle, it
would, indeed, prove that his stomach was in a wretchedly weak state;
she would then have abundant cause to be anxious.]--solid food; it is
the most important and valuable article of diet for a child in
existence. It is a glorious food for the young, and must never, on any
account whatever, in any case be dispensed with. "Considering that
milk contains in itself most of the constituents of a perfect diet,
and is capable of maintaining life in infancy without the aid of any
other substance, it is marvellous that the consumption of it is
practically limited to so small a class; and not only so, but that in
sick-rooms, where the patient is surrounded with every luxury,
arrow-root, and other compounds containing much less nutriment, should
so often be preferred to it."--_The Times._
Do not let me be misunderstood. I do not mean to say, but that the
mixing of farinaceous food--such as Lemann's Biscuit Powder, Robb's
Biscuit, Hard's Farinaceous Food, Brown and Polson's Corn Flour, and
the like, with the milk, is an improvement, in some cases--a great
improvement; but still I maintain that a child might live and thrive,
and that for a lengthened period, on milk--and on milk alone!
A dog will live and fatten for six weeks on milk alone; while he will
starve and die in a shorter period on strong beef-tea alone!
It is a grievous sin for a milkman to adulterate milk. How many a
poor infant has fallen a victim to that crime!--for crime it may be
truly called.
It is folly in the extreme for a mother to bate a milkman down in the
price of his milk; if she does, the milk is sure to be either of
inferior quality, or adulterated, or diluted with water; and woe
betide the poor unfortunate child if it be either the one or the
other! The only way to insure good milk is, to go to a respectable
cow-keeper, and let him be made to thoroughly understand the
importance of your child having _genuine_ milk, and that you are then
willing to pay a fair remunerative price for it. Rest assured, that if
you have to pay one penny or even twopence a quart more for _genuine_
milk, it is one of the best investments that you ever have made, or
that you are ever likely to make in this world! Cheap and inferior
milk might well be called cheap and nasty; for inferior or adulterated
milk is the very essence, the conglomeration of nastiness; and,
moreover, is very poisonous to a child's stomach. One and the
principal reason why so many children are rickety and scrofulous, is
the horrid stuff called milk that is usually given to them. It is a
crying evil, and demands a thorough investigation and reformation, and
the individual interference of every parent. Limited Liability
Companies are the order of the day; it would really be not a bad
speculation if one were formed in every large town, in order to insure
good, genuine, and undiluted milk.
_Young_ children, as a rule, are allowed to eat too much meat. It is a
mistaken notion of a mother that they require so much animal food. If
more milk were given and less meat, they would he healthier, and would
not be so predisposed to disease, especially to diseases of debility,
and to skin-disease.
I should strongly recommend you, then, to be extravagant in your milk
score. Each child ought, in the twenty-four hours, to take at least a
quart of good, fresh, new milk. It should, of course, be given in
various ways,--as bread and milk, rice-puddings, milk and differents
kinds of farinaceous food, stir-about, plain milk, cold milk, hot
milk, any way, and every way, that will please his palate, and that
will induce him to take an abundant supply of it. The "advice" I have
just given you is of paramount importance, and demands your most
earnest attention. There would be very few rickety children in the
world if my "counsel" were followed out to the very letter.
140. _But suppose my child will not take milk, he having an aversion
to it, what ought then to be done_?
Boil the milk, and sweeten it to suit his palate. After he has been
accustomed to it for a while, he will then, probably, like
milk. Gradually reduce the sugar, until at length it be dispensed
with. A child will often take milk this way, whereas he will not
otherwise touch it.
If a child will not drink milk, he _must_ eat meat; it is absolutely
necessary that he should have either the one or the other; and, if he
have cut nearly all his teeth, he ought to have both meat and
milk--the former in moderation, the latter in abundance.
141. _Supposing milk should not agree with my child, what must then be
done_?
Milk, either boiled or unboiled, almost always agrees with a child. If
it does not, it must be looked upon as the exception, and not as the
rule. I would, in such a case, advise one-eighth of lime water to be
added to seven-eighths of new milk--that is to say, two
table-spoonfuls of lime water should be mixed with half a pint of new
milk.
142. _Can you tell me of a way to prevent milk, in hot weather, from
turning sour_?
Let the jug of milk be put into a crock, containing ice--Wenham Lake
is the best--either in the dairy or in the cellar. The ice may at any
time, be procured of a respectable fishmonger, and should be kept,
wrapped either in flannel or in blanket, in a cool place, until it be
wanted.
143. _Can you tell me why the children of the rich suffer so much more
from costiveness than do the children of the poor_?
The principal reason is that the children of the rich drink milk
without water, while the children of the poor drink water without, or
with very little, milk--milk being binding, and water opening to the
bowels. Be sure then, and bear in mind, _as this is most important
advice_, to see that water is mixed with all the milk that is given to
your child. The combination of milk and water for a child is a
glorious compound--strengthening, fattening, refreshing, and
regulating to the bowels, and thus doing away with that disgraceful
proceeding so common in nurseries, of everlastingly physicking,
irritating and irreparably injuring the tender bowels of a child.
My opinion is, that aperients, as a rule, are quite unnecessary, and
should only be given in severe illness, and under the direction of a
judicious medical man. How much misery, and injury, might be averted
if milk were always given to a child in combination with water!
Aperients, by repetition, unlike water, increase the mischief tenfold,
and cork them up most effectually; so that the bowels, in time, will
not act without them!
A mother before she gives an aperient to her child should ponder well
upon what I have said upon the subject, it being a vital question,
affecting, as it does, the well-being and the well-doing of her child.
144. _But, if a child's bowels be very costive, what is to be done to
relieve them_?
Do not give him a grain or a drop of opening medicine, but in lieu
thereof, administer, by means of a 6 oz. India-rubber Enema Bottle,
half a tea-cup or a tea-cupful, according to the age of the child,
[Footnote: For a babe, from birth until he be two years old, one, two,
or three table-spoonfuls of warm water will be sufficient, and a 2
oz. Enema Bottle will be the proper size for the purpose of
administering it.] of warm water; now this will effectually open the
bowels, without confining them afterwards, which opening physic would
most assuredly do!
145. _Is it necessary to give a child luncheon_?
If he want anything to eat between breakfast and dinner let him have a
piece of dry bread; and if he have eaten very heartily at dinner, and,
like Oliver Twist, "asks for more!" give him, to satisfy his craving,
a piece of _dry_ bread. He will never eat more of that than will do
him good, and yet he will take sufficient to satisfy his hunger, which
is very important.
146. _What ought now to be his dinner_?
He should now have meat, either mutton or beef, daily, which must be
cut up very small, and should be mixed with mealy, _mashed_ potato and
gravy. He ought _always_ to be accustomed to eat salt with his
dinner. Let a mother see that this advice is followed, or evil
consequences will inevitably ensue. Let him be closely watched, to
ascertain that he well masticates his food, and that he does not eat
too quickly; for young children are apt to bolt their food.
147. _Have you any objection to pork for a change_?
I have a great objection to it for the young. It is a rich, gross, and
therefore unwholesome food for the delicate stomach of a child. I have
known it, in several instances, produce violent pain, sickness,
purging, and convulsions. If a child be fed much, upon such meat, it
will be likely to produce "breakings-out" on the skin. In fine, his
blood will put on the same character as the food he is fed
with. Moreover, pork might be considered a _strong meat_, and
"_strong_ meat and _strong_ drink can only be taken by _strong_ men."
148. _Do you approve of veal for a child_?
My objection to pork was, that it was rich and gross; this does not
apply to veal; but the objection to it is, that it is more difficult
of digestion that either mutton or beef; indeed, all young meats are
harder of digestion than meats of maturity; thus mutton is more
digestible than lamb, and beef than veal.
149. _Do you disapprove of salted and boiled beef for a child_?
If beef be _much_ salted it is hard of digestion, and therefore ought
not to be given to him; but if it have been but _slightly_ salted,
then for a change there will be no objection to a little. There is no
necessity in the _winter_ time to _salt_ meat intended for boiling;
then boiled _unsalted_ meat makes a nice change for a child's dinner.
Salt, of course, _must_ with the unsalted meat be eaten.
150. _But suppose there is nothing on the table that a child may with
impunity eat_?
He should then have either a grilled mutton chop, or a lightly-boiled
egg; indeed, the latter, at any time, makes an excellent change. There
is great nourishment in an egg; it will not only strengthen the frame,
but it will give animal heat as well: these two qualities of an egg
are most valuable; indeed, essential for the due performance of
health: many articles of food contain the one qualification, but not
the other: hence the egg is admirably suitable for a child's
_occasional_ dinner.
151. _Are potatoes an unwholesome food for a child_?
New ones are; but old potatoes well cooked and mealy, are the best
vegetable he can have. They ought to be _well mashed_, as I have known
lumps of potatoes cause convulsions.
152. _Do you approve of any other vegetables for a child_?
Occasionally: either asparagus or broccoli, or cauliflower, or
turnips, or French beans, which latter should be cut up fine, may with
advantage be given. Green peas may occasionally be given, provided
they be thoroughly well boiled, and mashed with the knife on the
plate. Underdone and unmashed peas are not fit for a child's stomach:
there is nothing more difficult of digestion than underdone peas. It
is important, too, to mash them, even if they be well done, as a child
generally bolts peas whole; and they pass through the alimentary canal
without being in the least digested.
153. _Might not a mother be too particular in dieting her child_?
Certainly not. If blood can be too pure and too good she might! When
we take into account that the food we eat is converted into blood;
that if the food be good the blood is good; and that if the food be
improper or impure, the blood is impure likewise; and, moreover, when
we know that every part of the body is built up by the blood, we
cannot be considered to be too particular in making our selection of
food. Besides if indigestible or improper food be taken into the
stomach, the blood will not only be made impure, but the stomach and
the bowels will be disordered. Do not let me be misunderstood: I am no
advocate for a child having the same food one day as another--
certainly not. Let there be variety, but let it be _wholesome_
variety. Variety in a child's (not in infant's) food is necessary. If
he were fed, day after day, on mutton, his stomach would, at length be
brought into that state, that in time it would not properly digest any
other meat, and a miserable existence would be the result.
154. _What ought a child to drink with his dinner_?
Toast and water, or, if he prefer it, plain spring water. Let him
have as much as he likes. If you give him water to drink, there is no
fear of his taking too much; Nature will tell him when he has had
enough. Be careful of the quality of the water, and the source from
which you procure it. If the water be _hard_--provided it be free from
organic matter--so much the better. [Footnote: See the _third_ edition
of _Counsel to a Mother_, under the head of "Hard or soft water as a
beverage!"] Spring water from a moderately deep well is the best. If
it come from a land spring, it is apt, indeed, is almost sure to be
contaminated by drains, &c.; which is a frequent cause of fevers, of
diphtheria, of Asiatic cholera, and of other blood poisons.
Guard against the drinking water being contaminated with lead; never,
therefore, allow the water to be collected in leaden cisterns, as it
sometimes is if the water be obtained from Water-works companies. Lead
pumps, for the same reason, ought never to be used for drinking
purposes. Paralysis, constipation, lead colic, dropping of the wrist,
wasting of the ball of the thumb, loss of memory, and broken and
ruined health, might result from neglect of this advice.
The drinking fountains are a great boon to poor children, as water and
plenty of it, is one of the chief necessaries of their existence; and,
unfortunately, at their own homes they are not, oftentimes, able to
obtain a sufficient supply. Moreover, drinking fountains are the best
advocates for Temperance.
Some parents are in the habit of giving their children beer with their
dinners--making them live as they live themselves! This practice is
truly absurd, and fraught with great danger! not only so, but it is
inducing a child to be fond of that which in after life might be his
bane and curse! No good end can be obtained by it; it will _not_
strengthen so young a child; it will on the contrary, create fever,
and will thereby weaken him; it will act injuriously upon his
delicate, nervous, and vascular systems, and by means of producing
inflammation either of the brain or of its membranes, might thus cause
water on the brain (a disease to which young children are subject), or
it might induce inflammation of the lungs.
155. _What ought a child who has cut his teeth to have for his
supper_?
The same that he has for breakfast. He should sup at six o'clock.
156. _Have you any general remarks to make on a child's meals_?
I recommended a great sameness in an _infant's_ diet; but a _child's_
meals, his dinners especially, ought to be much varied. For instance,
do not let him have day after day mutton; but ring the changes on
mutton, beef, poultry, game, and even occasionally fish--sole or cod.
Not only let there be a change of meat, but let there be a change in
the manner of cooking it; let the meat sometimes be roasted; let it at
other times be boiled. I have known a mother who has prided herself as
being experienced in these matters, feed her child, day after day, on
mutton chops! Such a proceeding is most injurious to him, as after a
while his unfortunate stomach will digest nothing but mutton chops,
and, in time, not even those!
With regard to vegetables, potatoes--_mashed_ potatoes--ought to be
his staple vegetable; but, every now and then, cauliflower, asparagus,
turnips, and French beans, should be given.
With respect to puddings, vary them; rice, one day; suet, another;
batter, a third; tapioca, a fourth; or, even occasionally, he might
have either apple or gooseberry or rhubarb pudding--provided the
pastry be plain and light.
It is an excellent plan, as I have before remarked, to let her child
eat jam--such as strawberry, raspberry, or gooseberry--and that
without stint, either with rice or with batter puddings.
_Variety of diet_, then, is _good for a child:_ it will give him
muscle, bone, and sinew; and, what is very important, it will tend to
regulate his bowels, and it will thus prevent the necessity of giving
him aperients.
But do not stuff a child--do not press him, as is the wont of some
mothers, to eat more than he feels inclined. On the contrary, if you
think that he is eating too much--that he is overloading his
stomach--and if he should ask for more, then, instead of giving him
either more meat or more pudding, give him a piece of dry bread. By
doing so, you may rest assured that he will not eat more than is
absolutely good for him.
157. _If a child be delicate, is there any objection to a little wine,
such as cowslip or tent, to strengthen him_?
Wine ought not to be given to a child unless it be ordered by a
medical man; it is even more injurious than beer. Wine, beer, and
spirits, principally owe their strength to the alcohol they contain;
indeed, nearly _all_ wines are _fortified_ (as it is called) with
brandy. Brandy contains a large quantity of alcohol, more than any
other liquor, namely 55.3 per cent. If, therefore, you give wine, it
is, in point of fact, giving diluted brandy--diluted alcohol; and
alcohol acts, unless it be used as a medicine, and under skilful
medical advice, as a poison to a child.
158. _Suppose a child suddenly to lose his appetite? is any notice to
be taken of it_?
If he cannot eat well, depend upon it, there is something wrong about
the system. If he be teething, let a mother look well to his gums, and
satisfy herself that they do not require lancing. If they be red, hot,
and swollen, send for a medical man, that he may scarify them. If his
gums be not inflamed, and no tooth appears near, let her look well to
the state of his bowels; let her ascertain that they be sufficiently
opened, and that the stools be of a proper consistence, colour, and
smell. If they be neither the one nor the other, give a dose of
aperient medicine, which will generally put all to rights. If the gums
be cool, and the bowels be right, and his appetite continue bad, call
in medical aid.
A child asking for something to eat, is frequently, in a severe
illness, the first favourable symptom; we may generally then
prognosticate that all will soon be well again.
If a child refuse his food, neither coax nor tempt him to eat: as food
without an appetite will do him more harm than it will do him good; it
may produce either sickness, bowel-complaint, or fever. Depend upon
it, there is always a cause for a want of appetite;--perhaps his
stomach has been over-worked, and requires repose; or his bowels are
loaded, and Nature wishes to take time to use up the old
material;--there might be fever lurking in his system; Nature stops
the supplies, and thus endeavours, by not giving it food to work with,
to nip it in the bud;--there might be inflammation; food would then be
improper, as it would only add fuel to the fire; let, therefore, the
cause be either an overworked stomach, over-loaded bowels, fever, or
inflammation, food would be injurious. Kind Nature if we will but
listen to her voice, will tell us when to eat, and when to refrain.
159. _When a child is four or five years old, have you any objection
to his drinking tea_?
Some parents are in the habit of giving their children strong (and
frequently green) tea. This practice is most hurtful. It acts
injuriously upon their delicate, nervous system, and thus weakens
their whole frame. If milk does not agree, a cup of very weak tea,
that is to say, water with a dash of _black_ tea in it, with a
table-spoonful of cream, may be substituted for milk; but a mother
must never give tea where milk agrees.
160. _Have you any objection to a child occasionally having either
cakes or sweetmeats_?
I consider them as so much slow poison. Such things both cloy and
weaken the stomach, and thereby take away the appetite, and thus
debilitate the frame. Moreover "sweetmeats are coloured with poisonous
pigments." A mother, surely, is not aware, that when she is giving
her child Sugar Confectionery she is, in many cases, administering a
deadly poison to him? "We beg to direct the attention of our readers
to the Report of the Analytical Sanitary Commission, contained in the
_Lancet_ of the present week (Dec. 18, 1858), on the pigments employed
in colouring articles of Sugar Confectionery. From this report it
appears that metallic pigments of a highly dangerous and even
poisonous character, containing chromic acid, lead, copper, mercury,
and arsenic, are commonly used in the colouring of such articles."
If a child be never allowed to eat cakes and sweetmeats, he will
consider a piece of dry bread a luxury, and will eat it with the
greatest relish.
161. _Is bakers' or is home-made bread the most wholesome for a
child_?
Bakers' bread is certainly the lightest; and, if we could depend upon
its being unadulterated, would, from its lightness, be the most
wholesome; but as we cannot always depend upon bakers' bread,
home-made bread, as a rule should be preferred. If it be at all heavy,
a child must not be allowed to partake of it; a baker's loaf ought
then to be sent for, and continued to be eaten until light home-made
bread can be procured. Heavy bread is most indigestible. He must not
be allowed to eat bread until it be two or three days old. If it be a
week old, in cold weather, it will be the more wholesome.
162. _Do you approve either of caraway seeds or of currants in bread
or in cakes--the former to disperse wind, the latter to open the
bowels_?
There is nothing better than plain bread: the caraway-seeds generally
pass through the bowels undigested, and thus might irritate, and might
produce, instead of disperse wind. [Footnote: Although caraway seeds
_whole_ are unwholesome, yet caraway tea, made as recommended in a
previous Conversation, is an excellent remedy to disperse wind.] Some
mothers put currants in cakes, with a view of opening the bowels of
their children; but they only open them by disordering them.
163. _My child has an antipathy to certain articles of diet: what
would you advise to be done_?
A child's antipathy to certain articles of diet should be respected:
it is a sin and a shame to force him to eat what he has a great
dislike to: a child, for instance, sometimes dislikes the fat of meat,
underdone meat, the skin off boiled milk and off rice-pudding. Why
should he not have his likes and dislikes as well as "children of a
larger growth?" Besides, there is an idiosyncrasy--a peculiarity of
the constitution in some children--and Nature oftentimes especially
points out what is good and what is bad for them individually, and we
are not to fly in the face of Nature. "What is one man's meat is
another man's poison." If a child be forced to eat what he dislikes,
it will most likely not only make him sick, but will disorder his
stomach and bowels; food, if it is really to do him good, must be
eaten by him with a relish, and not with disgust and aversion. Some
mothers, who are strict disciplinarians, pride themselves on
compelling their children to eat whatever they choose to give them!
Such children are to be pitied!
164. _When ought a child to commence to dine with his parents_?
As soon as he be old enough to sit up at the table, provided the
father and mother either dine or lunch in the middle of the day. "I
always prefer having children about me at meal tines. I think it makes
them little gentlemen and gentlewomen in a manner that nothing else
will."--_Christian's Mistake_.
THE NURSERY.
165. _Save you any remarks to make on the selection, the ventilation,
the warming, the temperature, and the arrangements of a nursery? and
have you any further observations to offer conducive to the well-doing
of my child_?
The nursery ought to be the largest and the most airy room in the
house. In the town, if it be in the topmost story (provided the
apartment be large and airy) so much the better, as the air will then
be purer. The architect, in the building of a house, ought to be
particularly directed to pay attention to the space, the loftiness,
the ventilation, the light, the warming, and the conveniences of a
nursery. A bath-room attached to it will be of great importance and
benefit to the health of a child.
It will be advantageous to have a water-closet near at hand, which
should be well supplied with water, be well drained, and be well
ventilated. If this be not practicable, the evacuations ought to be
removed as soon as they are passed. It is a filthy and an idle habit
of a nurse-maid to allow a motion to remain for any length of time in
the room.
The VENTILATION of a nursery is of paramount importance. There ought
to be a constant supply of fresh pure air in the apartment. But how
few nurseries have fresh, pure air! Many nurseries are nearly
hermetically sealed--the windows are seldom, if ever, opened; the
doors are religiously closed; and, in summer time, the chimneys are
carefully stuffed up, so that a breath of air is not allowed to enter!
The consequences are, the poor unfortunate children "are poisoned by
their own breaths," and are made so delicate that they are constantly
catching cold; indeed, it might be said that they are labouring under
chronic catarrhs, all arising from Nature's laws being set at
defiance.
The windows ought to be large, and should be made to freely open both
top and bottom. Whenever the child is out of the nursery, the windows
ought to be thrown wide open; indeed, when he is in it, if the weather
be fine, the upper sash should be a little lowered. A child should be
encouraged to change the room, frequently, in order that it may be
freely ventilated; for good air is as necessary to his health as
wholesome food, and air cannot be good if it be not frequently
changed. If you wish to have a strong and healthy child, ponder over
and follow this advice.
I have to enter my protest against the use of a stove in a nursery. I
consider a gas stove _without a chimney_ to be an abomination, most
destructive to human life. There is nothing like the old-fashioned
open fire-place with a good-sized chimney, so that it may not only
carry off the smoke, but also the impure air of the room.
Be strict in not allowing your child either to touch or to play with
fire; frightful accidents have occurred from mothers and nurses being
on these points lax. The nursery ought to have a large fire-guard, to
go all round the hearth, and which should be sufficiently high to
prevent a child from climbing over. Not only must the nursery have a
guard, but every room where he is allowed to go should he furnished
with one on the bars.
Moreover, it will be advisable to have a guard in every room where a
fire is burning, to prevent ladies from being burned. Fortunately for
them, preposterous crinolines are out of fashion: when they were in
fashion, death from burning was of every-day occurrence; indeed,
lady-burning was then to be considered one of the institutions of our
land!
A nursery is usually kept too hot; the temperature in the winter time
ought _not to exceed_ 60 degrees Fahrenheit A _good_ thermometer
should be considered an indispensable requisite to a nursery. A child
in a hot, close nursery is bathed in perspiration; if he leave the
room to go to one of lower temperature, the pores of his skin are
suddenly closed, and either a severe cold or an inflammation of the
lungs, or an attack of bronchitis, is likely to ensue. Moreover, the
child is both weakened and enervated by the heat, and thus readily
falls a prey to disease.
A child ought never to be permitted to sit with his back to the fire;
if he be allowed, it weakens the spine, and thus his whole frame; it
causes a rash of blood to the head and face, and predisposes him to
catch cold.
Let a nurse make a point of opening the nursery window every time that
she and her little charge leave the nursery, if her absence be only
for half an hour. The mother herself ought to see that this advice is
followed, pure air is so essential to the well-being of a child. Pure
air and pure water, and let me add, pure milk, are for a child the
grand and principal requirements of health.
Look well to the DRAINAGE of your house and neighbourhood. A child is
very susceptible to the influence of bad drainage. Bad drains are
fruitful sources of scarlet fever, of diphtheria, of diarrhoea,
&c. "It is sad to be reminded that, whatever evils threaten the health
of population, whether from pollutions of water or of air,--whether
from bad drainage or overcrowding, they fall heaviest upon the most
innocent victims--upon children of tender years. Their delicate frames
are infinitely more sensitive than the hardened constitutions of
adults, and the breath of poison, or the chill of hardships, easily
blights their tender life."--_The Times._
A nursery floor ought not to be _washed_ oftener than once a week; and
then the child or children should, until it be dry, be sent into
another room. During the drying of the floor, the windows must, of
course, be thrown _wide_ open.
The constant _wetting_ of a nursery is a frequent source of illness
among children. The floor ought, of course, to be kept clean; but this
may be done by the servant thoroughly sweeping the room out every
morning before her little charge makes his appearance.
Do not have your nursery wall covered with green paper-hangings. Green
paper-hangings contain large quantities of arsenic--arsenite of copper
(Scheele's green)--which, I need scarcely say, is a virulent poison,
and which flies about the room in the form of powder. There is
frequently enough poison on the walls of a room to destroy a whole
neigbourhood.
There is another great objection to having your nursery walls covered
with _green_ paper-hangings; if any of the paper should become loose
from the walls, a little child is very apt to play with it, and to put
it, as he does every thing else, to his mouth. This is not an
imaginary state of things, as four children in one family have just
lost their lives from sucking green paper-hangings.
Green dresses, as they are coloured with a preparation of arsenic, are
equally as dangerous as green paper-hangings; a child ought,
therefore, never to wear a green dress. "It may be interesting to some
of our readers," says _Land and Water_, "to know that the new green,
so fashionable for ladies' dresses, is just as dangerous in its nature
as the green wall-paper, about which so much was written some time
since. It is prepared with a large quantity of arsenic; and we have
been assured by several of the leading dressmakers, that the workwomen
employed in making up dresses of this colour are seriously affected
with all the symptoms of arsenical poisoning. Let our lady friends
take care."
Children's toys are frequently painted of a green colour with arsenite
of copper, and are consequently, highly dangerous for him to play
with. The best toy for a child is a box of _unpainted_ wooden bricks,
which is a constant source of amusement to him.
If you have your nursery walls hung with paintings and engravings, let
them be of good quality. The horrid daubs and bad engravings that
usually disfigure nursery walls, are enough to ruin the taste of a
child, and to make him take a disgust to drawing, which would be a
misfortune. A fine engraving and a good painting expand and elevate
his mind. We all know that first impressions are the most vivid and
the most lasting. A taste in early life for everything refined and
beautiful purifies his mind, cultivates his intellect, keeps him from
low company, and makes him grow up a gentleman!
Lucifer matches, in case of sudden illness, should, both in the
nursery and in the bedroom, be always in readiness; but they must be
carefully placed out of the reach of children, as lucifer matches are
a deadly poison. Many inquests have been held on children who have,
from having sucked them, been poisoned by them.
166. _Have you any observation to make on the LIGHT of a nursery_?
Let the window, or what is better, the windows, of a nursery be very
large, so as to thoroughly light up every nook and corner of the room,
as there is nothing more conducive to the health of a child than an
abundance of light in the dwelling. A room cannot, then, be too light.
The windows of a nursery are generally too small. A child requires as
much light as a plant. Gardeners are well aware of the great
importance of light in the construction of their greenhouses, and yet
a child, who requires it as much, and is of much greater importance,
is cooped up in dark rooms!
The windows of a nursery ought not only to be frequently opened to let
in fresh air, but should be _frequently cleaned_, to let in plenty of
light and of sunshine, as nothing is so cheering and beneficial to a
child as an abundance of light and sunshine!
_With regard to the best artificial light for a nursery._--The air of
a nursery cannot be too pure; I therefore do not advise you to have
gas in it, as gas in burning gives off quantities of carbonic acid and
sulphuretted hydrogen, which vitiate the air. The paraffine lamp, too,
makes a room very hot and close. There is no better light for a
nursery than either Price's patent candles or the old-fashioned
tallow-candle.
Let a child's _home_ he the happiest _house_ to him in the world; and
to be happy he must be merry, and all around him should be merry and
cheerful; and he ought to have an abundance of playthings, to help on
the merriment. If he have a dismal nurse, and a dismal home, he may
as well be incarcerated in a prison, and be attended by a gaoler. It
is sad enough to see dismal, doleful men and women, but it is a truly
lamentable and unnatural sight to see a doleful child! The young ought
to be as playful and as full of innocent mischief as a kitten. There
will be quite time enough in after years for sorrow and for sadness.
Bright colours, plenty of light, _clean_ windows (mind this, if you
please), an abundance of _good_-coloured prints, and toys without
number, are the proper furnishings of a nursery. Nursery! why, the
very name tells you what it ought to be--the home of childhood--the
most important room in the house,--a room that will greatly tend to
stamp the character of your child for the remainder of his life.
167. _Have you any more hints to offer conducive to the well-doing of
my child_?
You cannot be too particular in the choice of those who are in
constant attendance upon him. You yourself, of course, must be his
_head-nurse_--you only require some one to take the drudgery off your
hands! You ought to be particularly careful in the selection of his
nurse. She should be steady, lively, truthful, and good tempered; and
must be free from any natural imperfection, such as squinting,
stammering, &c., for a child is such an imitative creature that he is
likely to acquire that defect, which in the nurse is natural.
"Children, like babies, are quick at 'taking notice.' What they see
they mark, and what they mark they are very prone to copy."--_The
Times_.
She ought not to be very young, or she may be thoughtless, careless,
and giggling. You have no right to set a child to mind a child; it
would be like the blind leading the blind. No! a child is too precious
a treasure to be entrusted to the care and keeping of a young girl.
Many a child has been ruined for life by a careless young nurse
dropping him and injuring his spine.
A nurse ought to be both strong and active, in order that her little
charge may have plenty of good nursing; for it requires great strength
in the arms to carry a heavy child for the space of an hour or two at
a stretch, in the open air; and such is absolutely necessary, and is
the only way to make him strong, and to cause him to cut his teeth
easily, and at the same time to regulate his bowels; a noise,
therefore, most be strong and active, and not mind hard, work, for
hard work it is; but, after she is accustomed to it, pleasant
notwithstanding.
Never should a nurse be allowed to wear a mask, nor to dress up and
paint herself as a ghost, or as any other frightful object. A child is
naturally timid and full of fears, and what would not make the
slightest impression upon a grown-up person might throw a child into
fits--
"The sleeping, and the dead,
Are but as pictures: 'tis the age of childhood
That fears a painted devil."--_Shakspeare_.
Never should she be permitted to tell her little charge frightful
stories of ghosts and hobgoblins; if this be allowed, the child's
disposition will become timid and wavering, and may continue so for
the remainder of his life.
If a little fellow were not terrified by such stories, the darkness
would not frighten him more than the light. Moreover, the mind thus
filled with fear, acts upon the body, and injures the health. A child
must never be placed in a dark cellar, nor frightened by tales of
rats, &c. Instances are related of fear thus induced impairing the
intellect for life; and there are numerous examples of sudden fright
causing a dangerous and even a fatal illness.
_Night-terrors_.--This frightening of a child by a silly nurse
frequently brings on night-terrors. He wakes up suddenly, soon after
going to sleep, frightened and terrified; screaming violently, and
declaring that he has seen either some ghost, or thief, or some object
that the silly nurse had been previously in the day describing, who is
come for him to take him away. The little fellow is the very picture
of terror and alarm; he hides his face in his mother's bosom, the
perspiration streams down him, and it is some time before he can be
pacified--when, at length, he falls into a troubled feverish slumber,
to awake in the morning unrefreshed. Night after night these terrors
harass him, until his health materially suffers, and his young life
becomes miserable looking forward with dread to the approach of
darkness.
_Treatment of night terrors_.--If they have been brought on by the
folly of the nurse, discharge her at once, and be careful to select a
more discreet one. When the child retires to rest, leave a candle
burning, and let it burn all night, sit with him until he be asleep,
and take care, in case he should rouse up in one of his night-terrors,
that either yourself or some kind person be near at hand. Do not scold
him for being frightened--he cannot help it, but soothe him, calm him,
fondle him, take him into your arms and let him feel that he has some
one to rest upon, to defend and to protect him. It is frequently in
these cases necessary before he can be cared to let him have change of
air and change of scene. Let him live, in the day time, a great part
of the day in the open air.
A nurse maid should never, on any account whatever, be allowed to whip
a child. "Does ever any man or woman remember the feeling of being
'whipped' as a child, the fierce anger, the insupportable ignominy,
the longing for revenge, which blotted out all thought of contrition
for the fault or rebellion against the punishment? With this
recollection on their own parts, I can hardly suppose any parents
venturing to inflict it, much less allowing its infliction by another
under any circumstances whatever. A nurse-maid or domestic of any
sort, once discovered to have lifted up her hand against a child,
ought to meet instant severe rebuke, and on a repetition of the
offence instant dismissal." [Footnote: _A Woman's Thoughts about
Women_.]
I have seen in the winter tune a lazy nurse sit before the fire with a
child on her lap, rubbing his cold feet just before putting him to his
bed. Now, this is not the way to warm his feet. The right method is to
let him romp and run either about the room, or the landing, or the
hall--this will effectually warm them, but, of course, it will entail
a little extra trouble on the nurse, as she will have to use a little
exertion to induce him to do so, and this extra trouble a lazy nurse
will not relish. Warming the feet before the fire will give the
little fellow chilblains, and will make him when he is in bed more
chilly. The only way for him to have a good romp before he goes to
bed, is for the mother to join in the game. She may rest assured, that
if she does so, her child will not be the only one to benefit by
it. She herself will find it of marvellous benefit to her own health;
it will warm her own feet, it will be almost sure to insure her a good
night, and will make her feel so light and buoyant as almost to fancy
that she is a girl again! Well, then, let every child, before going to
bed, hold a high court of revelry, let him have an hour--the
Children's Hour--devoted to romp, to dance, to shout, to sing, to
riot, and to play, and let him be the master of the revels--
"Between the dark and the daylight,
When the night is beginning to lower,
Comes a pause in the day's occupation,
Which is known as the Children's Hour."
_Longfellow_.
Let a child be employed--take an interest in his employment, let him
fancy that he is useful--_and he is useful_, he is laying in a stock
of health. He is much more usefully employed than many other grown-up
children are!
A child should be happy; he must, in every way, be made happy;
everything ought to be done to conduce to his happiness, to give him
joy, gladness, and pleasure. Happy he should be, as happy as the day
is long. Kindness should be lavished upon him. Make a child
understand that you love him; prove it in your actions--these are
better than words; look after his little pleasures--join in his little
sports; let him never hear a morose word--it would rankle in his
breast, take deep root, and in due time bring forth bitter
fruit. Love! let love be his pole-star; let it be the guide and the
rule of all you do and all you say unto him. Let your face, as well as
your tongue speak love. Let your hands be ever ready to minister to
his pleasures and to his play. "Blessed be the hand that prepares a
pleasure for a child, for there is no saying when and where it may
again bloom forth. Does not almost everybody remember some
kind-hearted man who showed him a kindness in the dulcet days of
childhood? The writer of this recollects himself, at this moment, a
bare-footed lad, standing at the wooden fence of a poor little garden
in his native village, while, with longing eyes, he gazed on the
flowers which were blooming there quietly in the brightness of the
Sabbath morning. The possessor came from his little cottage. He was a
wood-cutter by trade, and spent the whole week at work in the
woods. He had come into the garden to gather flowers to stick in his
coat when he went to church. He saw the boy, and breaking off the most
beautiful of his carnations (it was streaked with red and white), he
gave it to him. Neither the giver nor the receiver spoke a word, and
with bounding steps the hoy ran home. And now, here, at a vast
distance from that home, after so many events of so many years, the
feeling of gratitude which agitated the breast of the boy, expressed
itself on paper. The carnation has long since faded, but it now
bloometh afresh."--_Douglas Jerrold_.
The hearty ringing laugh of a child is sweet music to the ear. There
are three most joyous sounds in nature--the hum of a bee, the purr of
a cat, and the laugh of a child. They tell of peace, of happiness, and
of contentment, and make one for a while forget that there is so much
misery in the world.
A man who dislikes children is unnatural, he has no "milk of human
kindness" in him; he should be shunned. Give me, for a friend, a man--
"Who takes the children on his knee,
And winds their curls, about his hand."--_Tennyson_.
168. _If a child be peevish, and apparently in good health, have you
any plan to propose to allay his irritability_?
A child's troubles are soon over--his tears are soon dried; "nothing
dries sooner than a tear"--if not prolonged by improper management--
"The tear down childhood's check that flows
Is like the dew-drop on the rose;
When next the summer breeze comes by,
And waves the bush, the flower is dry."--_Scott_.
Never allow a child to be teased; it spoils his temper. If he be in a
cross humour take no notice of it, but divert his attention to some
pleasing object. This may be done without spoiling him. Do not combat
bad temper with bad temper--noise with noise. Be firm, be kind, be
gentle, [Footnote: "But we were gentle among you, even as a women
cherisheth her children."--1 Thess. ii. 7.] be loving, speak quietly,
smile tenderly, and embrace him fondly, but _insist upon implicit
obedience_, and you will have, with God's blessing, a happy child--
"When a little child is weak
From fever passing by,
Or wearied out with restlessness
Don't scold him if he cry.
Tell him some pretty story--
Don't read it from a book;
He likes to watch you while you speak,
And take in every look.
Or sometimes singing gently--
A little song may please,
With quiet and amusing words,
And tune that flows with ease.
Or if he is impatient,
Perhaps from time to time
A simple hymn may suit the best,
In short and easy rhyme.
The measured verses flowing
In accents clear and mild,
May blend into his troubled thought,
And soothe the little child.
But let the words be simple,
And suited to his mind,
And loving, that his weary heart
A resting-place may find."--_Household Verses_.
Speak, _gently_ to a child; speak _gently_ to all; but more especially
speak _gently_ to a child. "A gentle voice is an excellent thing in a
woman," and is a jewel of great price, and is one of the concomitants
of _perfect_ lady. Let the hinges of your disposition be well
oiled. "'I have a dear friend. He was one of those well-oiled
dispositions which turn upon the hinges of the world without
creaking.' Would to heaven there were more of them! How many there are
who never turn upon the hinges of this world without a grinding that
sets the teeth of a whole household on edge! And somehow or other it
has been the evil fate of many of the best spirits to be so
circumstanced; both men and women, to whom life is 'sweet habitude of
being,' which has gone far to reconcile them to solitude as far less
intolerable! To these especially the creakings of those said rough
hinges of the world is one continued torture, for they are all too
finely strung; and the oft-recurring grind jars the whole sentient
frame, mars the beautiful lyre, and makes cruel discord in a soul of
music. How much of sadness there is in such thoughts! Seems there not
a Past in some lives, to which it is impossible ever to become
reconciled!"--_Life's Problems_.
Pleasant words ought always to be spoken to a child; there must be
neither snarling, nor snapping, nor snubbing, nor loud contention
towards him. If there be it will ruin his temper and disposition, and
will make him hard and harsh, morose and disagreeable.
Do not always be telling your child how wicked he is; what a naughty
boy he is; that God will never love him, and all the rest of such
twaddle and blatant inanity! Do not, in point of fact, bully him, as
many poor little fellows are bullied! It will ruin him if you do; it
will make him in after years either a coward or a tyrant. Such
conversations, like constant droppings of water, will make an
impression, and will cause him to feel that it is of no use to try to
be good--that he is hopelessly wicked! Instead of such language, give
him confidence in himself; rather find out his good points and dwell
upon them; praise him where and whenever you can; and make him feel
that, by perseverance and God's blessing, he will make a good
man. Speak truthfully to your child; if you once deceive him, he will
not believe you for the future. Not only so, but if you are truthful
yourself you are likely to make him truthful--like begets like. There
is something beautiful in truth! A lying child is an abomination! Sir
Walter Scott says "that he taught his son to ride, to shoot, and to
tell the truth" Archdeacon Hare asserts "that Purity is the feminine,
Truth the masculine of Honour."
As soon as a child can speak he should be made to lisp the noble words
of truth, and to love it, and to abhor a lie! What a beautiful
character he will then make! Blessed is the child that can say,--
"Parental cares watched o'er my growing youth,
And early stamped it with the love of truth."
_Leadbeater Papers._
Have no favourites, show no partiality; for the young are very
jealous, sharp-sighted, and quick-witted, and take a dislike to the
petted one. Do not rouse the old Adam in them. Let children be taught
to be "kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love;" let
them be encouraged to share each other's toys and playthings, and to
banish selfishness.
Attend to a child's _little_ pleasures. It is the _little_ pleasures
of a child that constitute his happiness. Great pleasures to him and
to us all (as a favourite author remarks) come but seldom, and are the
exceptions, and not the rule.
Let a child he nurtured in love. "It will be seen," says the author of
_John Halifax_, "that I hold this law of kindness as the Alpha and
Omega of education. I once asked one, in his own house, a father in
everything but the name, his authority unquestioned, his least word
held in reverence, his smallest wish obeyed--'How did you ever manage
to bring up these children?' He said: '_By love_.'"
Let every word and action prove that you love your children. Enter
into all their little pursuits and pleasures. Join them in their play,
and be a "child again!" If they are curious, do not check their
curiosity; but rather encourage it; for they have a great deal--as we
all have--to learn, and how can they know if they are not taught? You
may depend upon it the knowledge they obtain from observation is far
superior to that obtained from books. Let all you teach them, let all
you do, and let all you say bear the stamp of love. "Endeavour, from
first to last, in your intercourse with your children, to let it bear
the impress of _love_. It is not enough that you _feel_ affection
towards your children--that you are devoted to their interests; you
must show in your manner the fondness of your hearts towards
them. Young minds cannot appreciate great sacrifices made for them;
they judge their parents by the words and deeds of every-day
life. They are won by _little_ kindnesses, and alienated by _little_
acts of neglect or impatience. One complaint unnoticed, one appeal
unheeded, one lawful request arbitrarily refused, will be remembered
by your little ones more than a thousand acts of the most devoted
affection."--_The Protoplast_.
A placid, well-regulated temper is very conducive to health. A
disordered, or an over-loaded stomach, is a frequent cause of
peevishness. Appropriate treatment in such a case will, of course, be
necessary.
169. _My child stammers: can you tell me the cause, and can you
suggest a remedy_?
A child who stammers is generally "nervous," quick, and impulsive. His
ideas flow too rapidly for speech. He is "nervous;" hence, when he is
alone, and with those he loves, he oftentimes speaks fluently and
well; he stammers more both when he is tired and when he is out of
health--when the nerves are either weak or exhausted. He is
emotional: when he is either in a passion or in excitement, either of
joy or of grief, he can scarcely speak--"he stammers all over." He is
impulsive: he often stammers in consequence. He is in too great a
hurry to bring out his words; they do not flow in proper sequence:
hence his words are broken and disjointed.
Stammering, of course, might be owing either to some organic defect,
such as from defective palate, or from defective brain, then nothing
will cure him; or it might be owing to "nervous" causes--to "irregular
nervous action," then a cure might, with care and perseverance, be
usually effected.
In all cases of stammering of a child, let both the palate of his
mouth and the bridle of his tongue be carefully examined, to see that
neither the palate be defective, nor the bridle of the tongue be too
short--that he be not tongue-tied.
_Now, with regard to Treatment._--Make him speak slowly and
deliberately: let him form each word, without clipping or chopping;
let him be made, when you are alone with him, to exercise himself in
elocution. If he speak quickly, stop him in his mid-career, and make
him, quietly and deliberately, go through the sentence again and
again, until he has mastered the difficulty; teach him to collect his
thoughts, and to weigh each word ere he give it utterance; practise
him in singing little hymns and songs for children; this you will find
a valuable help in the cure. A stammerer seldom stutters when he
sings. When he sings, he has a full knowledge of the words, and is
obliged to keep in time--to sing neither too fast nor too
slow. Besides, he sings in a different key to his speaking voice. Many
professors for the treatment of stammering cure their patients by
practising lessons of a sing-song character.
Never jeer him for stammering, nor turn him to ridicule; if you do, it
will make him ten times worse; but be patient and gentle with him, and
endeavour to give him confidence, and encourage him to speak to you as
quietly, as gently, and deliberately as you speak to him; tell him not
to speak, until he has arranged his thoughts and chosen his words; let
him do nothing in a hurry.
Demosthenes was said, in his youth, to have stammered fearfully, and
to have cured himself by his own prescription, namely, by putting a
pebble in his mouth, and declaiming, frequently, slowly quietly, and
deliberately, on the sea-shore--the fishes alone being his audience,--
until at length he cured himself, and charmed the world with his
eloquence and with his elocution. He is held up, to this very day, as
the personification and as the model of an orator. His patience,
perseverance, and practice ought, by all who either are, or are,
interested in a stammerer, to be borne in mind and followed.
170. _Do you approve of a carpet in a nursery_?
No, unless it be a small piece for a child to roll upon. A carpet
harbours dirt and dust, which dust is constantly floating about the
atmosphere, and thus making it impure for him to breathe. The truth of
this may be easily ascertained by entering a darkened room, where a
ray of sunshine is struggling through a crevice in the shutters. If
the floor of a nursery must be covered, let drugget be laid down, and
this may every morning be taken up and shaken. The less furniture a
nursery contains the better, for much furniture obstructs the free
circulation of the air, and, moreover, prevents a child from taking
proper play and exercise in the room--an abundance of which are
absolutely necessary for his health.
171. _Supposing there is not a fire in the nursery grate, ought the
chimney to be stopped to prevent a draught in the room_?
Certainly not. I consider the use of a chimney to be two-fold--first,
to carry off the smoke, and secondly (which is of quite as much
importance), to ventilate the room, by carrying off the impure air,
loaded as it is with carbonic acid gas--the refuse of respiration. The
chimney, therefore, should never, either winter or summer, be allowed
for one moment to be stopped. This is important advice, and requires
the strict supervision of every mother, as servants will, if they have
the chance, stop all chimneys that have no fires in the grates.
EXERCISE.
172. _Do you approve, during the summer months, of sending a child out
BEFORE breakfast_?
I do, when the weather will permit, and provided the wind be neither
in an easterly nor in a north-easterly direction; indeed, _he can
scarcely be too much in the open air_. He must not be allowed to stand
about draughts or about entries, and the only way to prevent him doing
so is for the mother herself to accompany the nurse. She will then
kill two birds with one stone, as she will, by doing so, benefit her
own as well as her child's health.
173. _Ought a child to be early put on his feet to walk_?
No: let him learn to walk himself. He ought to be put upon a carpet;
and it will be found that when he is strong enough, he will hold by a
chair, and will stand alone: when he can do so, and attempts to walk,
he should then be supported. You must, on first putting him upon his
feet, be guided by his own wishes. He will, as soon as he is strong
enough to walk, have the inclination to do so. When he has the
inclination and the strength it will be folly to restrain him; if he
have neither the inclination nor the strength, it will be absurd to
urge him on. Rely, therefore, to a certain extent, upon the
inclination of the child himself. Self-reliance cannot be too early
taught him, and, indeed, every one else. In the generality of
instances, however, a child is put on his feet too soon, and the
bones, at that tender age, being very flexible, bend, causing bowed
and bandy-legs; and the knees, being weak, approximate too closely
together, and thus they become knock-kneed. This advice of _not_
putting a child _early_ on his feet, I must strongly insist on, as
many mothers are so ridiculously ambitious that their young ones
should walk early--that they should walk before other children of
their acquaintance have attempted--that they have frequently caused
the above lamentable deformities; which is a standing reproach to them
during the rest of their lives.
174. _Do you approve of perambulators_?
I do not, for two reasons:--first, because when a child is strong
enough, he had better walk as much as he will; and, secondly, the
motion is not so good, and the muscles are not so much put into
action, and consequently cannot be so well developed, as when he is
earned. A perambulator is very apt to make a child stoop, and to make
him both crooked and round-shouldered. He is cramped by being so long
in one position. It is painful to notice a babe of a few months old in
one of these newfangled carriages. His little head is bobbing about
first on one side and then on the other--at one moment it is dropping
on his chest, the next it is forcibly jolted behind: he looks, and
doubtless feels, wretched and uncomfortable. Again, these
perambulators are dangerous in crowded thoroughfares. They are a
public nuisance, inasmuch as they are wheeled against and between
people's legs, and are a fruitful source of the breaking of shins, of
the spraining of ankles, of the crushing of corns, and of the ruffling
of the tempers of the foot-passengers who unfortunately come within
their reach; while, in all probability, the gaping nurses are staring
another way, and every way indeed but the right, more especially if
there be a redcoat in the path!
Besides, in very cold weather, or in a very young infant, the warmth
of the nurse's body, while he is being carried, helps to keep him
warm, he himself being naturally cold. In point of fact, the child,
while being borne in the nurse's arms, reposes on the nurse, warm and
supported, as though he were in a nest! While, on the other hand, if
he be in a perambulator, he is cold and unsupported, looking the very
picture of misery, seeking everywhere for test and comfort, and
finding none!
A nurse's arm, then, is the only proper carriage for a _young_ child
to take exercise on. She ought to change about, first carrying frim on
the one arm, and then on the other. Nursing him on one arm only might
give his body a twist on one side, and thus might cause deformity.
When he is old enough to walk, and is able properly to support the
weight of his own neck and back, then there will be no objection,
provided it be not in a crowded thoroughfare, to his riding
occasionally in a perambulator; but when he is older still, and can
sit either a donkey or a pony, such exercise will be far more
beneficial, and will afford him much greater pleasure.
175. _Supposing it to be wet under foot, but dry above, do you then
approve of sending a child out_?
If the wind be neither in the east nor the north-east, and if the air
be not damp, let him be well wrapped up and be sent out. If he be
labouring under an inflammation of the lungs, however slight, or if he
be just recovering from one, it would, of coarse, be highly improper.
In the management of a child, we must take care neither to coddle nor
to expose him unnecessarily, as both are dangerous.
Never send a child out to walk in a fog; he will, if you do, be almost
sure to catch cold. It would be much safer to send him out in rain
than in fog, though neither the one nor the other would be desirable.
176. _How many times a day in fine weather ought a child to be sent
out_?
Let him be sent out as often as it be possible. If a child lived more
in the open air than he is wont to do, he would neither be so
susceptible of disease, nor would he suffer so much from teething, nor
from catching cold.
177. _Supposing the day to be wet, what exercise would you then
recommend_?
The child ought to run either about a large room, or about the hall;
and if it does not rain violently, you should put on his hat and throw
up the window, taking care while the window is open that he does not
stand still. A wet day is the day for him to hold his high court of
revelry, and "to make him as happy as the day is long."
Do not on any account allow him to sit any length of time at a table,
amusing himself with books, &c.; let him be active and stirring, that
his blood may freely circulate as it ought to do, and that his muscles
may be well developed. I would rather see him actively engaged in
mischief than sitting still, doing nothing! He ought to be put on the
carpet, and should then be tumbled and rolled about, to make the blood
bound merrily through, the, vessels, to stir up the liver, to promote
digestion, and to open the bowels. The misfortune of it is, the
present race of nurses are so encumbered with long dresses, and so
screwed in with tight stays (aping their betters), that they are not
able to stoop properly, and thus to have a good game of romps with
their little charges. "Doing nothing is doing ill" is as true a saying
as was ever spoken.
178. _Supposing it to be winter, and the weather to be very cold,
would you still send a child out_?
Decidedly, provided he be well wrapped up. The cold will brace and
strengthen him. Cold weather is the finest tonic in the world.
In frosty weather, the roads being slippery, when you send him out to
walk, put a pair of large old woollen stockings over his boots or
shoes. This will not only keep his feet and his legs warm, but it will
prevent him from falling down and hurting himself. While thus
equipped, he may even walk on a slide of ice without falling down!
A child, in the winter time, requires, to keep him warm, plenty of
flannel and plenty of food, plenty of fresh and genuine milk, and
plenty of water in his tub to wash and bathe him in a morning, plenty
of exercise and plenty of play, and then he may brave the frosty air.
It is the coddled, the half-washed, and the half-starved child
(half-washed and half-starved from either the mother's ignorance or
from the mother's timidity), that is the chilly starveling,--catching
cold at every breath of wind, and every time he either walks or is
carried out,--a puny, skinny, scraggy, scare-crow, more dead than
alive, and more fit for his grave than for the rough world he will
have to struggle in! If the above advice be strictly followed, a child
may be sent out in the coldest weather, even--
"When icicles hang by the wall,
And Dick, the shepherd, blows his nail;
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail."
_Shakspeare_.
AMUSEMENTS.
179. _Have you any remarks to make on the amusements of a child_?
Let the amusements of a child be as much as possible out of doors; let
him spend the greater part of every day in the open air; let him exert
himself as much as he please, his feelings will tell him when to rest
and when to begin again; let him be what Nature intended Mm to be--a
happy, laughing, joyous child. Do not let him be always poring over
books:--
"Books! 'tis a dull and endless strife,
Come, hear the woodland linnet!
How sweet his music! On my life,
There's more of wisdom in it.
And hark! how blithe the throstle sings!
He, too, is no mean preacher:
Come forth into the light of things,--
Let Nature be your teacher.
She has a world of ready wealth,
Our minds and hearts to bless,--
Spontaneous wisdom breathed by health,
Truth breathed by cheerfulness.
One impulse from a vernal wood
May teach you more of man,
Of moral evil and of good,
Than, all the sagea can."--_Wordsworth._
He ought to be encouraged to engage in those sports wherein the
greatest number of muscles are brought into play. For instance, to
play at ball, or hoop, or football, to play at horses, to run to
certain distances and back; and, if a girl, to amuse herself with a
skipping rope, such, being excellent exercise--
"By sports like these are all their cares beguiled,
The sports of children satisfy the child."--_Goldsmith._
Every child, where it be practicable, should have a small plot of
ground to cultivate, that he may dig and delve in, and make dirt-pies
if he choose. Children now-a-days, unfortunately, are not allowed to
soil their hands and their fine clothes. For my own part, I dislike
such model children; let a child be natural--let him, as far as is
possible, choose his own sports. Do not be always interfering with his
pursuits, and be finding fault with him. Remember, what may be amusing
to you may be distasteful to him. I do not, of course, mean but that
you should constantly have a watchful eye over him; yet do not let him
see that he is under restraint or surveillance; if you do, you will
never discover his true character and inclinations. Not only so, but
do not dim the bright sunshine of his early life by constantly
checking and thwarting him, Tupper beautifully says--
"And check not a child in his merriment,--
Should not his morning be sunny?"
When, therefore, he is either in the nursery or in the play-ground,
let him shout and riot and romp about as much as he please. His lungs
and his muscles want developing, and his nerves require strengthening;
and how can such be accomplished unless you allow them to be developed
and strengthened by natural means?
The nursery is a child's own domain; it is his castle, and he should
be Lord Paramount therein. If he choose to blow a whistle, or to
spring a rattle, or to make any other hideous noise, which to him is
sweet music, he should be allowed, without let or hindrance, to do
so. If any members of the family have weak nerves, let them keep at a
respectful distance.
A child who never gets into mischief must be either sly, or delicate,
or idiotic; indeed, the system of many persons, in bringing up
children, is likely to make them either the one or the other. The
present plan of training children is nearly all work (books), and very
little play. Play, and plenty of it, is necessary to the very
existence of a child.
A boy not partial to mischief, innocent mischief, and play, is
unnatural; he is a man before his time, he is a nuisance, he is
disagreeable to himself and to every one around. He is generally a
sneak, and a little humbug.
Girls, at the present time, are made clever simpletons; their brains
are worked with useless knowledge, which totally unfits them for
every-day duties. Their muscles are allowed to be idle, which makes
them limp and flabby. The want of proper exercise ruins the
complexion, and their faces become of the colour of a tallow candle!
And precious wives and mothers they make when they do grow up! Grow
up, did I say? They grow all manner of ways, and are as crooked as
crooked sticks!
What an unnatural thing it is to confine a child several hours a day
to his lessons; why, you might as well put a colt in harness, and make
him work for his living! A child is made for play; his roguish little
eye, his lithe figure, his antics, and his drollery, all point out
that he is cut out for play--that it is as necessary to his existence
as the food he eats, and as the air he breathes!
A child ought not to be allowed to have playthings with which he can
injure either himself or others, such as toy-swords, toy-cannons,
toy-paint-boxes, knives, bows and arrows, hammers, chisels, saws,
&c. He will not only be likely to injure himself and others, but will
make sad havoc on furniture, house, and other property. Fun, frolic,
and play ought, in all innocent ways, to be encouraged; but wilful
mischief and dangerous games ought, by every means, to be
discountenanced. This advice is frequently much needed, as children
prefer to have and delight in dangerous toys, and often coax and
persuade weak and indulgent mothers to gratify their wishes.
_Painted_ toys are, many of them, highly dangerous, those painted
_green_ especially, as the colour generally consists of Scheele's
green--arsenite of copper.
Children's paint-boxes are very dangerous toys for a child to play
with; many of the paints are poisonous, containing arsenic, lead,
gamboge, &c, and a child, when painting, is apt to put the brush into
his mouth, to absorb the superabundant fluid. Of all the colours, the
_green_ paint is the most dangerous, as it is frequently composed of
arsenite of copper--arsenic and copper--two deadly poisons.
There are some paint-boxes warranted not to contain a particle of
poison of any kind these ought, for a child, to be chosen by a mother.
But, remember, although he ought not to be allowed to have poison
paint-boxes and poison painted toys, _he must have an abundance of
toys,_ such as the white wood toys--brewers' drays, millers' waggons,
boxes of wooden bricks, &c. The Noah's Ark is one of the most amusing
and instructive toys for a child. "Those fashioned out of brown,
unpainted pine-wood by the clever carvers of Nuremberg or the Black
Forest are the best, I think, not only because they are the most
spirited, but because they will survive a good deal of knocking about
and can be sucked with impunity From the first dawn of recollection,
children are thus familiarised with the forms of natural objects, and
may be well up in natural history before they have mastered the ABC"
[Footnote: From an excellent article _About Toys,_ by J Hamilton Fyfe
in _Good Words_ for December 1862.]
Parents often make Sunday a day of gloom; to this I much object. Of
all the days in the week, Sunday should be the most cheerful and
pleasant. It is considered by our Church a festival, and a glorious
festival it ought to be made, and one on which our Heavenly Father
wishes to see all His children happy and full of innocent joy. Let
Sunday, then, be made a cheerful, joyous, innocently happy day, and
not, as it frequently is, the most miserable and dismal in the
week. It is my firm conviction that many men have been made
irreligious by the ridiculously strict and dismal way they were
compelled, as children, to spend their Sundays. You can no more make
a child religious by gloomy asceticism, than yon can make people good
by Act of Parliament.
One of the great follies of the present age is, children's parties,
where they are allowed to be dressed up like grown-up women, stuck out
in petticoats, and encouraged to eat rich cake and pastry, and to
drink wine, and to sit up late at night! There is something disgusting
and demoralising in all this. Their pure minds are blighted by it. Do
not let me be misunderstood: there is not the least objection, but, on
the contrary, great advantage, for friends' children to meet friends'
children; but then let them be treated as children, and not as men and
women!
180. _Do you approve of public play-grounds for children_?
It would be well, in every village, and in the outskirts of every
town, if a large plot of ground were set apart for children to play
in, and to go through regular gymnastic exercises. Play is absolutely
necessary to a child's very existence, as much as food and sleep; but
in many parts of England where is he to have it? Playgrounds and play
are the best schools we have; they teach a great deal not taught
elsewhere; they give lessons in health, which is the grandest wealth
that can be bestowed--"for health is wealth;" they prepare the soil
for the future schoolmaster; they clear the brain, and thus the
intellect, they strengthen the muscles; they make the blood course
merrily through the arteries; they bestow healthy food for the lungs;
they give an appetite; they make a child, in due time, become every
inch a man! Play-grounds and play are one of the finest institutions
we possess. What would our large public schools be without their play
and cricket grounds? They would be shorn of half their splendour and
their usefulness!
There is so much talk now-a-days about _useful_ knowledge, that the
importance of play and play-grounds is likely to be forgotten. I
cannot help thinking however, that a better state of things is
dawning. "It seems to be found out that in our zeal for useful
knowledge, that knowledge is found to be not the least useful which
treat boys as active, stirring, aspiring, and ready." [Footnote: _The
Saturday Review_, December 13, 1862.]
181. _Do you approve of infant schools_?
I do, if the arrangements be such that health is preferred before
learning. [Footnote: "According to Aristotle, more care should be
taken of the body than of the mind for the first seven years; strict
attention to diet be enforced, &c. . . . . . The eye and ear of the
child should be most watchfully and severely guarded against
contamination of every kind, and unrestrained communication with
servants be strictly prevented. Even his amusements should be under
due regulation, and rendered as interesting and intellectual as
possible."--The Rev John Williams, in his _Life and Actions of
Alexander the Great_] Let children be only confined for three or four
hours a day, and let what little they learn be taught as an amusement
rather than as a labour. A play-ground ought to be attached to an
infant school; where, in fine weather, for every half-hour they spend
in-doors, they should spend one in the open air; and, in wet weather,
they ought to have, in lieu of the play-ground, a large room to romp,
and shout, and riot in. To develop the different organs, muscles, and
other parts of the body, children require fresh air, a free use of
their lungs, active exercise, and their bodies to be thrown into all
manner of attitudes. Let a child mope in a corner, and he will become
stupid and sickly. The march of intellect, as it is called, or rather
the double quick march of intellect, as it should be called, has
stolen a march upon health. Only allow the march of intellect and the
march of health to take equal strides, and then we shall have "_mens
sana in corpore sano_" (a sound mind in a sound body).
In the education of a young child, it is better to instruct him by
illustration, by pictures, and by encouraging observation on things
around and about him, than by books. It is surprising how much,
without endangering his health, may be taught in this way. In
educating your child, be careful to instil and to form good
habits--they will then stick to him for life.
Children at the present day are too highly educated--their brains are
over-taxed, and thus weakened. The consequence is, that as they grow
up to manhood, if they grow up at all, they become fools! _Children_
are now taught what formerly _youths_ were taught. The chord of a
child's life is ofttimes snapped asunder in consequence of over
education:--
"Screw not the cord too sharply, lest it snap"--_Tennyson_.
You should treat a child as you would a young colt. Think only at
first of strengthening his body. Let him have a perfectly free, happy
life, plenty of food to eat, abundance of air to breathe, and no work
to do; there is plenty of time to think of his learning--of giving him
brain work. It will come sadly too soon; but do not make him old
before his time.
182. _At what age do you advise my child to begin his course of
education--to have his regular lessons_?
In the name of the prophet,--Figs! Fiddlesticks! about courses of
education and regular lessons for a child! You may as well ask me
when he, a child, is to begin Hebrew, the Sanscrit, and Mathematics!
Let him have a course of education in play; let him go through regular
lessons in foot-ball, bandy, playing at tic, hares and hounds, and
such like excellent and really useful and health-giving lessons. Begin
his lessons! Begin brain work, and make an idiot of him! Oh! for
shame, ye mothers! You who pretend to love your children so much, and
to tax, otherwise to injure, irreparably to injure their brains, and
thus their intellects and their health, and to shorten their very
days. And all for what? To make prodigies of them! Forsooth! to make
fools of them in the end,
183. _Well, then, as you have such a great objection to a child
commencing his education early in life, at what age may he, with
safety, commence his lessons? and which do you prefer--home or school
education_?
Home is far preferable to a school education. He is, if at home, under
your own _immediate_ observation, and is not liable to be contaminated
by naughty children; for, in every school, there is necessarily a
great mixture of the good and of the bad; and a child, unfortunately,
is more likely to be led by the bad than by the good. Moreover, if he
be educated at home, the mother can see that his brain is not
over-worked. At school the brain is apt to be over-worked, and the
stomach and the muscles to be under-worked.
Remember, as above stated, _the brain must have but very little work
until the child be seven years old;_ impress this advice upon your
memory, and let no foolish ambition to make your child a clever child
allow you, for one moment, to swerve from this advice.
Build up a strong, healthy body, and in due time the brain will bear a
_moderate_ amount of intellectual labour.
As I have given _you_ so much advice, permit me, for one moment, to
address a word to the father of your child:--
Let me advise you, then, Mr. _Pater familias_, to be careful how you
converse, what language you use, while in the company of your
child. Bear in mind, a child is very observant, and thinks much,
weighs well, and seldom forgets all you say and all you do! Let no
hasty word, then, and more especially no oath, or no impious language,
ever pass your lips, if your child be within hearing. It is, of
course, at all times wicked to swear; but it is heinously and
unpardonably sinful to swear in the presence of your child! "Childhood
is like a mirror, catching and reflecting images. One impious or
profane thought, uttered by a parent's lip, may operate upon the young
heart like a careless spray of water thrown upon polished steel,
staining it with rust, which no after scouring can efface."
Never talk secrete before a child--"little pitchers have long ears;"
if you do, and he disclose your secrets--as most likely he will--and
thus make mischief, it will be cruel to scold him; you will, for your
imprudence, have yourself only to blame. Be most careful, then, in the
presence of your child, of what you say, and of whom you speak. This
advice, if followed, might save a great deal of annoyance and
vexation.
184. _Are you an advocate for a child being taught singing?_
I am: I consider singing a part of his education. Singing expands the
walls of his chest, strengthens and invigorates his lungs, gives
sweetness to his voice, improves his pronunciation, and is a great
pleasure and amusement to him.
SLEEP.
185. _Do you approve of a child sleeping on a_ FEATHER _bed_?