VARIOUS KINDS OF KISSES
It has been previously shown by numerous examples that kissing occupies
a prominent place in certain ceremonies. It would be easy to multiply
instances of this.
We know from Roman law that the so-called _osculum interveniens_, which
concerned gifts, was exchanged between engaged couples. The law enacts
that, in the event of one of the contracting parties dying before the
marriage, only a moiety of the presents are to be returned, provided a
kiss was exchanged at the betrothal, but, if no kiss had been exchanged,
all the presents were to be returned.[23]
The kiss was regarded as the introduction, as it were, to matrimonial
cohabitation--_initium consummationis nuptiarum_; it was symbolical of
marriage--_viri et mulieris conjunctio_. Certain ancient jurists have
even discussed the question whether a married woman who has suffered
herself to be kissed by a stranger has not thereby rendered herself
guilty of adultery.
The decree of the Roman law which, so far as I know, still partly holds
good in Greece, is met with again in the Latin countries during the
Middle Ages. It was incorporated in the law of the Visigoths (_Lex
Romana Visigothorum_), and migrated thence to the different old Spanish
_fueros_ and the old French law, in which the word _osculum_ was also
used in the learned form _oscle_. It was likewise admitted into the law
of the Lombards, and Italy is most probably the West European country
where _donatio propter osculum_ has been longest retained. We find, even
down to our own times, traces of the same in customary laws.
This is probably the only ceremonial kiss that has received legal
sanction; but wherever elsewhere we may turn our eyes and investigate
old ceremonies, we constantly find the kiss a necessary and important
part.
Its usage was, for instance, general at weddings. Thomas Platter, who
studied at the University of Montpellier at the end of the sixteenth
century, tells us, in his “Diary,” that the majority of marriages took
place in private, without witnesses, through fear of witchcraft; though
the wedding feast, on the contrary, was celebrated in public with a vast
concourse of guests, and with many merry episodes. At the conclusion of
the feast the bride was divested of her bridal array, amidst jokes and
raillery, smart young bachelors having to take off her garters; and when
at last she sat up in bed, clad only in linen, then all the guests, male
and female, came and kissed her on the mouth, and the kisses were
followed by facetious compliments and good wishes.
Moreover, at the later ceremony of dubbing a knight, the newly-made
knight of the Golden Fleece was kissed by the master of the ceremonies,
and had afterwards to kiss all the senior knights present.
At certain academical functions the kiss also formed part of the festal
ceremony; in the seventeenth century the Dean, when degrees were
conferred, kissed all the new doctors and masters.
Even in the guilds we meet with the kiss, though in a somewhat peculiar
form. Hübertz tells us that at the ceremony of admitting a member into
the Guild of Tanners, the candidate chose for his “Kränzjungfer” a girl
who had to be “fairly a maiden.” She painted black moustaches on his
upper lip, and the senior member placed a crown on his head. This done,
he kissed the latter, removed the crown, and decorated him instead with
a “Jungferkranz.” Finally, the senior member made a speech to the new
member, and gave him three boxes on the ears, on which the girl kissed
him, and washed off his moustaches, whilst “Vater” hung a sword to his
waist.
The ceremony of reception into the Guild of Carpenters was followed by a
feast, at which the members, as a sign that they were now grown-up, were
allowed, on the payment of a mark, to kiss the barmaid, who was usually
the innkeeper’s daughter.
It is easily understood that the kiss likewise came to play a prominent
part in many different dances and games.
Kiss-dances were very common during the Middle Ages and even later.
Montaigne describes one that he witnessed at Augsburg in 1580. “The
ladies,” said he, “sit in two rows along the walls of the room. The
gentlemen go away and bow to them; they kiss the latter’s hands, and the
ladies get up, but without kissing them on the hand. Then each gentleman
puts his arm round the lady’s waist, right beneath her shoulder, kisses
her, and lays his cheek to hers.”[24] Whether it is the lady’s check or
mouth that is kissed, he omits to state; but it is certain that kisses
on the mouth were not uncommon.
A Swiss traveller who stayed for some time in France in the middle of
the sixteenth century relates that, when he was in Montpellier, he was
invited to a ball, and there met a very beautiful young lady; but, he
adds, her nose was a trifle too long, and so her partner had great
difficulty in kissing her mouth, “as is the general custom.”
The kiss-dance has not yet died out in Germany; but it appears no longer
to have the graceful forms of the Renaissance period, if we can trust
Fritz Reuter’s description in his _Journey to Belgium_. At a wedding
when the kiss-dance is to be held, the parish clerk cautiously inquires
of the clergyman whether kissing is regarded as unbefitting his
priestly dignity, but when the answer comes short and shrewd, “Kiss
away,” he bows to Mrs Black and--smack!--gives her a couple of hearty
kisses right on her mouth. Madame was thoroughly frightened, but that
did not avail, but every time he swang round with her, she got a proper,
smacking kiss.
But it is evident from _Romeo and Juliet_ that even in England there
were dances in which a gentleman was allowed to kiss his partner. All
know the beautiful words with which Romeo claims his right:
If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss. (I. 5.)
One can still take the same liberty at Christmastide under the
mistletoe. I know a young English lady who was offended with an American
gentleman who did not dare to avail himself of his privilege, because he
thought that this custom was obsolete in Europe.
Kissing in our time still plays an important part in France in the
refrains of dance songs. _Le Bouquet de ma Mie_ ends with:
Bell’ bergère, embrasse-moi,
Embrasse, embrasse, embrasse!
And in _Ramenez vos Moutons, Bergère_, is sung by way of conclusion:
Tombez à genoux,
Jurez devant tous.
D’être un jour époux
Et embrassez-vous.[25]
There is, I suppose, no doubt that in these games the kiss is given and
taken, as the _dramatis personæ_ are generally children, but what takes
place when adults amuse themselves with these _rondes_, I do not know;
but I consider it probable that the gentleman will demand as his due a
kiss, at any rate on the cheek. There also exists an old _ronde à
baisers_, which is very characteristic and merry. In this it is the lady
who has to take the first step:
Madame, entrez dans la danse,
Regardez-en la cadence,
Et puis vous embrasserez
Celui que vous aimerez.[26]
As the living expression of the warmest and sincerest human feelings
kissing has been credited, in the world of fairy tales and superstition,
with a considerable curative and prophylactical power.
We have seen, in the old sagas and ballads, how enchantments are broken
by means of a kiss; we have seen how holy men in the legends restore the
sick to health by means of a kiss, etc. Kissing has, on the whole,
influenced popular credulity to a large extent, and of the numerous
superstitious notions concerning it I only quote some few:
If you would protect yourself against lightning you should make three
crosses before you, and kiss the ground three times. (Germany.)
If you want to have luck in gambling you must kiss the cards before the
game begins. (France.)
If you have the toothache you should kiss a donkey on his chops.
(Germany.) This very efficacious advice is found as far back as Pliny.
If you drop a bit of bread on the floor you must kiss it when you pick
it up. The same respect is also to be shown to books you have dropped.
(Denmark, Germany.)
According to Danish superstition, it is a bad omen when the first person
you meet of a morning is an old woman; nevertheless, you can ward off
all evil consequences by giving her a kiss. Evil must be expelled by
evil.
People kiss little children when they have knocked themselves, in order
to take away the pain; they must “kiss them well again,” as it is
termed, or, as Englishmen say, “kiss the place and make it well.”
The Greenland mother, who does not understand kissing as expressive of
love, kisses her sick child on the breast, shoulders, hips, and navel to
restore it to health.
As the loving kiss of a living human creature brings life, health, and
happiness, so it is thought, on the other hand, that kisses of a
supernatural being bring destruction.
In Lucian’s _True History_ there is a description of a perilous journey
to the realms of fancy. In one of these the travellers came upon a
remarkable vineyard wherein all the vines at the bottom were green and
luxuriant, but those above had the shape of women. “They greeted us, as
we drew nigh, and bade us halt. Some of us kissed them on the mouth,
and those who were kissed lost their understanding and reeled about like
drunken men. But worse befell those who had suffered themselves to be
embraced by these women; they were powerless to extricate themselves
from the latter’s arms, and we beheld their fingers changed into boughs
and twigs.”[27]
I will here call your attention to the Roumanian song about cholera,
which comes in the shape of an ugly old woman to Vîlcu, and Vîlcu
entreats it thus: “Take my horse, take my weapons, but give me still
some days so I may once more see my children, which are as dear to me as
the light of the sun.” But the old woman stretches forth her bony arms,
folds Vîlcu to her bosom, presses her pallid lips to his, and, in a
death-dealing kiss, takes his life, whereupon she departs with a mocking
laugh. The Roumanian text is here very strong:
Gură pe gură punea,
Buze pe buze lipĭa,
Zilele i le sorbĭa.
Apoĭ cloanza ear ridea,
Cu zilele purcedea,
Si voĭnicul mort cădea.
Even a spectre’s kiss brings death. In an English variant of the ballad
of Leonora, Margaret says to her dead bridegroom, who is knocking at her
door at night: “Come and kiss me on the cheek and chin.”--“Perhaps I
shall come to thee,” he replies, but:
If I shou’d come within thy bower,
I am no mortal man;
And shou’d I kiss thy rosy lips,
Thy days will not be long.
I shall also call your attention, in connection with the foregoing, to a
curious old story of the venomous girl.
A young maiden had from her tenderest years been reared on all the most
deadly poisons. Her beauty was marvellous, but her breath was so
poisonous that it killed everybody who came near her. She was sent to
the palace of Alexander the Great, as the king’s enemies reckoned on his
falling in love with her and dying in her arms. When the king saw her he
at once wanted to make her his mistress; but the shrewd Aristotle
suspected treachery. He restrained the king, and had a criminal who had
been sentenced to death sent for. The criminal was made to kiss the girl
in presence of the king, and he fell prone on the ground, poisoned by
her breath, like one struck by lightning.
This story can be traced to India. It found its way into several
mediæval storybooks and attained great popularity. The monks made use of
it in their sermons, and gave it an allegorical interpretation:
Alexander was the good, trustful Christian; Aristotle was the
conscience; the venomous girl, incontinence, which comprehends
everything that is poisonous to the soul; and the criminal is the wicked
man who pursues the lusts of the flesh and suffers his punishment. “Let
us, therefore, abstain from all such things if we wish to reach
Paradise,” is the moral that the monk draws from it at the close of his
sermon.
In conclusion I will quote several expressions to which kissing has
given rise:
A lady’s hat which was fashionable in England in 1850, and which had no
brim to it, got the name of _Kiss-me-quick_. In contradistinction to
this, the old-fashioned Danish hats with prominent brims were called
_Kiss-me-if-you-can_. We have a modern variant in the Salvation lasses’
_Stop-kissing-me_ hat.
In France, during the last century, there was a colour of
the name of _Baise-moi ma mignonne_, called in England
“heart’s-ease”: _Look-up-and-kiss-me_, _Kiss-me-at-the-garden-gate_,
_Kiss-me-ere-I-rise_ or _Jump-up-and-kiss-me_.
The verb “to kiss” is often used in a figurative sense, _e.g._, the
Italians say of one who likes drinking, “He kisses the flask” (_Bacia il
fiasco_); the Germans say of mean people, “They kiss the farthing” (_Den
Pfennig küssen_); the English too speak of a _penny-kisser_.
This figurative meaning is not, however, confined to jocose expressions
and phrases; on the contrary, it occurs perhaps more frequently in
serious prose.
Our whole life, lived in love to our neighbour and nature, is nothing
more than one long kiss.
Kaalund somewhere says:
A babe was I not long ere this,
But time too swiftly slips;
And that is why I press a kiss
So warmly on life’s lips.
W. F. H.
A similar figurative use is extraordinarily common with the poets. H. C.
Andersen, in _Goose-grass_, says of the lark that it flies past the
tulip and other aristocratic flowers only to light on the sward by the
humble goose-grass, which it kisses with its beak, and for which it
sings its joyous song. The other poets represent the waves as kissing
the white beach, the bees, the scented flowers; and the ears of corn in
the fields as heaving beneath the warm kisses of the sun’s golden rays.
The sun’s kisses are _oscula sancta_; every creature shares in them, for
they are the most beautiful expression of God’s love. Ingemann sings in
a morning hymn:
The sun looks down on hut and hall,
On haughty king and beggar weeping,
Beholds the great ones and the small,
And kisses babes in cradles sleeping.
W. F. H.
VIII
THE ORIGIN OF KISSING
Les coutumes, quelque étranges qu’elles deviennent parfois à la longue,
ont généralement des commencements très simples.
MAX MÜLLER.
Usages, however strange they may sometimes become in the long run, have
generally very simple beginnings.--_Translated from the above._