Bristol, the 29th of the Fifth month,
1664.
The fulfilling of this prediction we shall see; for within a short time
a war ensued with the Dutch, and the pestilence appeared at London; but
before it broke out, yet more of the imprisoned Quakers were condemned
to banishment, viz. two and thirty persons, both men and women, who
were sentenced by the court on the 6th, 14th, and 15th of December; for
whatever they said in defence of themselves, proved ineffectual. One
asked, If we meet really to worship God, must we suffer for that? And
judge Hide answered, ‘Yes, that you must.’ But judge Keeling, to mend
the matter a little, said, ‘You shall not suffer for worshipping God,
but for being at an unlawful assembly contrary to the law.’ Another
said, ‘I meet to worship the eternal God in Spirit, as he persuades my
heart and conscience; and must I be condemned to banishment for that?’
‘Yes, yes,’ said judge Keeling, ‘for the law is against it.’ To which
judge Twisden added, ‘He hath confessed that he was there to worship
God; and their worship is contrary to the liturgy of the church of
England.’ Thus we see, if there was but evidence that the prisoners
had been at a meeting, this was counted sufficient to condemn them. A
woman being asked, what she had to say to the evidence given, answered,
‘Be it known unto you all, if I had as many bodies as hairs on my head,
I could lay them all down for the living eternal truth of the living
God.’ After all the prisoners had been called to the bar, they were
at length sentenced to be transported to Jamaica, and to remain there
seven years.
This year in September died my mother, Judith Zinspenning at Amsterdam
in Holland, where she was born of religious parents among the Baptists,
into whose society her father Conrad Zinspenning was entered in a
singular manner; of which, though it may seem somewhat out of my road,
yet because of the remarkable steps of Providence appearing therein, I
will give a short account. He being of Cologne in Germany, was bred a
Papist; and after he had past the Latin schools, his father thrust him
into a cloister; (for Papists used to think it meritorious to offer
up one of their children to the clergy.) But he found the monastical
life so much against his inclination, that his father dying before the
probation year was expired, he begged his mother to assist him in his
intention to leave the fraternity, since he was not yet bound by vow.
She complied with his desire, and so he got out, and then he was put
to a trade. After he had served his time, he resolved to travel, and
first took a turn to Holland, from thence to France, and then to Italy,
and the metropolis Rome, and so back again. Having been a lay-friar, he
got letters of recommendation to such monasteries as were of the order
of those monks he had lived with; that so he might freely find lodging
there for sometime. And because in Holland there are no cloisters, he
was recommended to some eminent Papists at Amsterdam: whither being
come, he liked the place so well, that he resolved to stay there
sometime; which he did, after having found employment. And thus getting
into acquaintance, he came in time to live with a Baptist, who employed
him as a journeyman. He never till now met with the New Testament,
in which he began to read so eagerly, that the Lord co-operating by
his good Spirit, his understanding came to be opened, so that he got
a clear sight of the superstition and errors of the popish religion,
in which he was trained up; and then entering into discourse with
his master, was persuaded to renounce popery, and to enter into the
communion of the Baptists. This broke all his measures concerning his
intended travels; and then resolving to settle where he was, he took to
wife one Catharine de Mol, a virtuous maid, whose father was one of the
primitive Baptists that arose under the persecution in Flanders, from
whence he with many more came to settle in Holland.
From these parents my mother descended, who was religiously inclined
even from her youth, and became so well versed in the Holy Scriptures;
and was so diligent in writing down so much of the sermons she heard,
as she could retain by memory; that her father said sometimes, ‘It is
a pity that this girl is not a boy, who then in time might become an
eminent instrument in the church.’ After she was come to age, though
much inclined to lead a single life, yet at length she was married to
my father, Jacob Williamson Sewel, a very religious young man; whose
father William Sewel, from Kidderminster in Worcestershire, having
been one of those Brownists, that left England and settled in Holland,
married a Dutch wife at Utrecht, where my father was born; who being
come to age, endeavoured to walk in the narrow way, and conversed
mostly with the strictest professors of those days. And both he and
my mother came in time to grow dissatisfied with that worship to which
they were joined; yet in clearness of understanding my mother exceeded
my father; nevertheless she continued dissatisfied as well as he, with
the common way of worship she belonged to; so that oftentimes, when she
came from the meeting-house, she resolved not to go there any more,
because she reaped no real and substantial benefit by it. But then the
first day of the week being come again, she was in a straight, thinking
that however it was, yet by the apostle we were exhorted not to forsake
the assemblies. In this irresolute condition she continued a long time;
and being incumbered with the cares of the family, she was not so much
at liberty for performing religious duties, (viz. prayers, reading of,
and meditating on the Holy Scriptures, visiting the sick, and such like
pious exercises,) as she was before she was married; which made her
wish sometimes she had never entered into matrimony, and that she might
live to enjoy again that peace and quiet which once she had. But she
knew not yet that it was the love of the Lord thus working upon her, to
draw her off from transitory things. In this state she was often seized
with grief and sorrow, so that she counted herself the most miserable
of women; for neither husband nor children, nor any outward enjoyments,
could afford her any pleasure; but all her desire was to attain to an
undefiled state, in which she might live an unblameable life, not only
before men, but also before God; for feeling there was yet something in
her which was evil and polluting, she struggled to overcome it; but all
her labour proved in vain. This made her cry earnestly to the Lord as
one in great danger; and her doubts whether it was possible to attain
to perfection increased. But in this forlorn state it pleased the Lord
to manifest himself to her in some measure, though she knew not then it
was he. And often she cried out, ‘Lord what will it avail me to know
that thou hast sent thy Son into the world, and that he was crucified
and died for the sins of the world, if I am not saved by it. Lord
forgive my sins, and have mercy upon me.’ And once when she was alone,
pouring out her heart before the Lord, he made himself known to her,
and spoke to her soul, that if she would be perfect, she must follow
the light in every respect. Having heard this, she desired to know what
this light was; and the Lord showed her, that the light was the life of
men. This she understood in some degree, and so separated herself as
much as ever she could conveniently from conversation, endeavouring to
live retiredly. And having about this time heard Dr. Galenus Abrahams,
an eminent Baptist teacher, preach upon the parable of the seedsman;
that which he spoke concerning the good ground, and how the ground must
be fitted by the Lord’s working, so affected her, that she resolved to
rest from all her own labour; and so she left frequenting the Baptists’
assemblies any more.
In this retired state she continued a good while, and at length came
to hear William Ames preach; and he declaring the light of Christ as
the true teacher, this agreed with what had already been told her
inwardly by the immediate manifestations of the Lord to her. And thus
she came fully to be convinced that this was the truth she had so long
desired to know. Now she saw that it was her duty to give up all, and
to keep nothing back: for she had already seen, that if she would be
Christ’s disciple, she must forsake all, even her own self. But a fear
of the cross was no small impediment to her; yet now she gave up to
obedience; and saw that her former performances had been defective;
and now all came into remembrance. This caused sorrow; but she prayed
to the Lord both night and day, and then he manifested his power by
which she was led out of the darkness and bondage, wherein she had
been held captive; and her supplication was to the Lord, that it might
not be with her as formerly, to wit, sometimes great zeal, and then
coldness again; but that she might continue in fervency of spirit.
After a long time of mourning the Lord manifested his kindness to her,
by which she came to be quickened and refreshed; and by the judgments
of the Lord all was narrowly searched out, so that nothing could be
hid; and a separation was made between the precious and the vile, and
death passed over all. But thus to part with all her own wisdom, and
forsake her great attainments, was no small cross: yet she became
willing to hear it, although many violent tempests rose to draw her
off, if possible, from closely adhering to the beloved of her soul;
yet she was not forward in imitation: for my father, who when he was
convinced of the truth preached by W. Ames and W. Caton, soon left off
the common way of salutation, would sometimes persuade her by arguments
to do so too; but she told him, if the leaving off of that custom was
a thing the Lord required, she believed he would show it her in his
own time, because she was given up to follow his requirings. And so
the Lord did in due time; and she continuing zealously faithful, he
was pleased after my father’s death to give her a public testimony,
and she became eminently gifted: for her natural abilities surpassing
the ordinary qualifications of her sex, and becoming sanctified by the
Spirit of the Lord, could not but produce good effects; and she came to
be much visited and sought to by professors; and the Fifth monarchy-men
applauded her because of her pathetical admonitions. But she was above
flattery, and trampled upon it. Nay, she was so well esteemed, that I
remember, having some movings to visit the collegians in their meeting,
after one of them had left off speaking, she stood up, and said, that
she had something upon her mind to speak to them by way of exhortation.
But knowing that they suffered not women to speak amongst them, she was
not willing bluntly to intrude herself; but desired their leave, which
they readily granted, and one of their chief speakers said to her, ‘It
is true, friend, we do not allow women to speak in the church; yet we
hear that respect to you, that we give you the liberty of speaking.’
And then she cleared herself, having formerly been a frequenter of that
assembly. And when she had done speaking, I do not remember she was
contradicted by any; but one of their speakers concluded the meeting
with a prayer.
Before that time she wrote and published a small book to those of her
former society, which she called a Serious Reproof of the Flemish
Baptists: in which she dealt very plainly with them; and showed how
they were apostatized. She wrote also some other treatises, extant in
print; and was much beloved and well esteemed by English friends, as
appears by several letters written to her from England, and yet extant.
Those of her own nation often resorted to her for instruction, she
being so well exercised in the way of the Lord, that she was able to
speak a word in season to various conditions. Many times she visited
the meetings at Alkmaar, Haarlem and Rotterdam; and was often invited
by her friends to come and edify them with her gift. She wrote also
many letters for edification and admonition to particular persons, and
some epistles also to the church. But it pleased the Lord to take her
early to himself. When she fell sick, she soon had a sense that she
was not like to recover, and therefore spoke much to me in private,
and acquainted me with several things touching myself, and relating to
her outward estate. And the night before she departed, she called me
to her bed-side, and exhorted me very fervently to depart from evil,
and to fear the Lord: which by the mercy of God in time, made very
deep impressions on my mind; so that still I find reason to bless the
name of the Lord for having been pleased that I was the son of such
an excellent mother: who early in the morning when she felt death
approaching, called me up out of my bed, and sent me to her brother,
and to W. Caton, to come and see her; and I had hardly been returned a
quarter of an hour before she departed this life, and slept in peace,
to my great grief then; though afterwards, when I came to years of
discerning, I saw reason to believe that it was not without a singular
providence that the Lord had taken her away: for one had long continued
to be an importunate suitor to her, who in time lost his integrity. To
give a small instance of her true zeal for God, I will insert here the
following epistle she wrote to her friends, to stir up the pure mind in
them.
_An Epistle to the Friends of Truth._
‘Grace and peace be multiplied among you, my dearly and much
beloved friends, you that have received a blessing from God the
heavenly Father in Christ Jesus, the Lord of glory; who by his
unspeakable love, and his unchangeable light, hath drawn you
off from the imaginary worships, and brought you in measure to
know him who was from the beginning. Dear friends, keep in the
light by which ye are enlightened, and in the knowledge of God,
which every one hath received for himself; watching against the
seducings of Satan; that your eyes may be kept open, lest deceit
should prevail in any of you, by which truth might lose its
splendour, and the brightness of the Lord become darkened.
‘I write these things to you in true love, and though but young,
yet as one that takes care for you; for the Lord knows how often
ye are in my remembrance; desiring for you, that ye may not only
know the truth, but that ye may be found to be living witnesses
of it: for I, knowing the preciousness of it, cannot but desire
that others may also participate of the same; labour, therefore,
for it, my friends, that so, when the Lord comes and calls to
an account, every one may be found faithful according to what
he hath received: for this is the talent which the Lord hath
given, viz. the knowledge of him who is true, and who rewardeth
every one according to his deeds: but the negligent and slothful
servant said that his Lord was an hard man, and that he gathered
where he had not strewed, and this was his condemnation: for the
Lord said, “Thou knewest that I was an austere man; wherefore
then gavest not thou my money into the bank, that at my coming I
might have required mine own with usury?” Mind these things, my
beloved friends, ye that have an ear to hear, and dig after this
parable in yourselves; for we all have received talents, some
more, and others less. Let therefore every one be faithful to
the Lord, according to what he hath received; for truly some of
you, I believe, have received five talents. Let it but be duly
considered and seen in the light of the Lord, what knowledge ye
have had of the eternal God beyond many, even when ye were yet
in darkness: how often hath the Lord appeared, and clearly made
manifest himself? And how abundantly hath he made it known in the
heart, that he it was who was worthy to be feared and served?
Certainly that is a great and weighty talent, and therefore the
Lord may say justly, what could I have done more to my vineyard?
O my friends, besides all this, he hath caused his eternal light
to shine into our hearts, whereby we have seen the corrupted ways
of the world, and paths leading to death. This, I say, the Lord
hath showed us by his eternal light: glory and praises be given
to our God for ever.
‘Dear friends, go on in that in which ye have begun; for I can
hear witness for the Lord, that his love hath been abundantly
shed abroad upon us, without respect of persons: because those
that fear him, and work righteousness, are acceptable to him;
and he makes his truth manifest among us, and causeth his peace
and mercy to rest upon us. It is true, that Satan doth not rest
to scatter this, and to sow doubts and unbelief in our hearts;
but we keeping close to the Lord, are preserved from his snares;
and happy is he who hath found a place where he is freed from
tempests: but before this place be found, there are many hidden
rocks that may be struck on, not unknown to me. And therefore I
have true compassion on those who are not past them all yet; for
shipwreck may easily be suffered on any of these.
‘Yet in all this danger there is something on which we may rely
safely, and to which we may trust, being as a beacon, viz. the
light shining into our hearts, though it be sometimes but as
a spark, and so small, in regard of the manifold seducings,
that it can hardly be discerned. Here then is no small grief
and anguish; here all the mercies of the Lord, which formerly
we enjoyed abundantly, are called in question, or doubted of;
here is danger, and yet certainty; for by not sinning, the
beacon is minded, and by relying on a true hope to be saved,
we are preserved in the tempest. I write these things for the
information of those that are travelling towards a city that hath
a foundation, and whose builder and maker is God; for to such my
love is extended, and my desire to the Lord for them is, that
they may be kept by his power, to remain standing at his coming.
‘Dear friends, keep your meetings in the fear of the Lord,
and have a care that your minds are not drawn out to hear
words outwardly; but stand in the cross to that which desireth
refreshment from without: and when at any time ye feel but little
refreshment, let it not enter into your hearts that the Lord is
not mindful of you; but centre down into yourselves, in the pure
light, and stand still therein: then it may be ye will find the
cause why the presence of the Lord is departed from you for some
time; and ye putting away the cause, shall enjoy the Lord again
to your comfort.
‘May God Almighty preserve you all by his power, lest any strife
or discord be found among you; and may you grow up in love, and
thereby be obliged to hear each other’s burdens; and let no
transitory things cumber your hearts, but be resigned to the
Lord; for that to which we are called, is not to be compared to
that which is transitory, or perishing; since it is a treasure
that is everlasting, and to which the world, and all that is in
it, is but as dung; because the most glorious part of it is but
vanity of vanities. O, my friends, let none be stopped by that
which is an impediment to entering into the kingdom of heaven;
but strive all to enter the narrow gate; and search every one of
you your own hearts, with the light ye are enlightened with,
which shall manifest your own states to you; and keeping there,
it shall multiply your peace, and every one shall find therein
his own teacher, as those have experienced who sought the Lord
with all their heart. Now the God of all mercies, who alone is
immortal, keep you and us altogether to the end; that so in these
dangerous times we may remain standing, to the glory of his great
name. O friends, keep out craftiness, and enter not readily into
discourse with those that are out of the truth; for they speak
in their own wills, and are crafty, and, knowing no bridle to
their mind, it produceth that by which the simple and innocent
are caught; but stand ye rather, and keep in that wherein ye
see their subtilty; for then, though ye may not have a word to
apologize for yourselves, yet ye shall be above them.
‘This is written from me, a young plant, in love to you,
according to the gift received from the Lord. My salutation is to
you all in the light of truth.