WINTER came and melted into spring. Physically Stella had progressed
beyond all hopes. Like the Lady in “The Sensitive Plant,” she walked
a ruling grace about the garden of the Channel House, and nursed the
daffodils and narcissi and tulips with tender hands. In these she took
a passionate joy curiously exceeding that in other revelations of the
great world. Indeed, during most of the winter, she had shrunk from
mingling with humanity. Her zest for the new life had been dulled. She
found excuses for not going beyond the garden gate, and of her own free
will did not seek the society of those dear to her. The windows of her
sea-chamber once more afforded her the accustomed outlook, and the gulls
wheeling high in the wintry gusts again became her companions.
The Blounts let her have her way,--was she not autocrat?--putting down
her hesitations and cravings for solitude to a young girl's delicate
whimsies of which they could not divine the motive; for she, who had
once been expansive, now had grown strangely reticent. Even Herold, who
used to accompany her into the Land That Never Was, did not gain her
confidence. Into those mystic regions she could admit him freely; but
the Threatening Land that lay beyond the threshold of her sea-chamber a
heart-gripping shyness forced her to tread alone.
“Life has frightened you,” he said one day.
“How do you know that?” she asked, with a quick glance.
He smiled.
“You are like an Æolian harp set in the wind, my dear.”
“Only you can hear it.”
“Every one hears it.”
She shook her head.
“No; only you.”
“That's as may be,” he said, with a laugh. “Anyhow, something has
frightened you. What is it?”
Stella rose--she had learned to walk; the hours of her exercises had
been the gayest in her day--and touched him lightly with her fingers on
the shoulder, and went and stood by the great window of the drawing-room
and looked out at her sky and sea. The Great High Favourite, with his
uncanny insight, had read her truly. Womanlike, she did not know whether
to resent his surprising of her innermost secret or to love him for it.
She was understood; that was balm. Yet what right had he to understand?
The question was a drop of gall. The pure spirit of her flew to the
chosen companion of her dreams; something--the nature of which she was
unaware--sex-instinct--forbade too close an intimacy in things real and
tangible. And there was a touch of resentment, too, in an outer circle
of her mind. Why had he given her no warning of the Threatening Land? He
had allowed her to step ignorantly upon its thorns, and her feet still
bled.
Herold turned in his chair and glanced at her slim figure framed by the
window. Then he went softly to her side.
“Stellamaris, you are dearer to me than anything on God's earth. Tell me
what frightens you. Maybe I can help you.”
But Stella shook her head. She had been accustomed from childhood to
lavish terms of endearment from her little band of intimates, and her
woman's nature was as yet not enough awakened to catch the new and
subtle appeal. A girl's pride froze her. The wounds that he had allowed
her to receive she would cure by herself. She touched his hand, however,
to show that she appreciated his affection. The touch sent a thrill to
his heart.
“Stella, dear!” he whispered.
Then, as a note struck on a piano causes the harmonic on the violin to
vibrate, so did his tone stir a chord in the girl's nature, occasioning
an absurd little flutter of trepidation. She laughed, and threw wide the
folding-doors that opened upon the lawn.
“Don't let us talk of bogies on such a beautiful day. I want to show you
my crocuses.”
It was her sovereign pleasure to break off the conversation. He dared
not press her. She took him out among her crocuses and daffodils, and
became the Stella he had always known, with the exception that now she
dwelt in a spring flower's bloom instead of in a bit of silver in
the flying scud. They talked eternal verities concerning the souls of
flowers.
After this unsatisfactory and, to, a certain extent, baffling
visit, Herold went back to London with a heartache, which induced an
unaccustomed moodiness. At the theatre that night, Miss Leonora Gurney
took him to task. Now, Miss Gurney (Mrs. Hetherington in private life;
she had divorced the disreputable Hetherington years ago, and had not
remarried) was a very important and captivating person. She was a woman
of genius, a favourite of the London public, a figure of society,
in management on her own account, wherein she showed shrewd business
ability, and very much in love with Walter Herold, wherein she showed
much of the weakness of Eve. This season Herold was her leading man.
To say that Herold had wrapped himself up in his Joseph's garment (not
the one of many colours, but the other one equally famous) during all
his stage career would be mendacious folly. Many a ball had come to him
at the bound, and he had returned it gaily. He had laughed an honest way
through innumerable love-affairs--things of the moment, things of
the fancy, things of no importance whatsoever. Many maidens, and some
matrons, had wept for him, but none bitterly. He had established a
reputation for lack of seriousness in matters of the heart. His bright,
blue eyes would flash at you, and his low, musical voice would murmur
no matter what, even were it the Lord's Prayer backward, and you caught
your breath, and lost your head, and were perfectly ready to say if
he asked you, and sometimes even if he did n't ask you: “Take me, I am
yours.” But whatever he did, he never rose to the passionate height,
or sank to the unromantic depth, of the situation. Which things were a
mystery.
To qualify what might appear to be a sweeping proposition, it may be
stated that there are certain phases in certain women's lives when
they make straight for the mystery surrounding a man, as moth does for
candle, and singe their wings in so doing. Thus singed were the chaste
and charming wings of Leonora Gurney. Herold, no more aware of an aura
of mystery than of a halo, received the lady's advances in his frank,
laughing way. She had the raven hair, dark, blue eyes, and white skin
of an Irish ancestry. She was exceedingly attractive. She played her
love-scenes with him--his part in the piece was that of a broken-down
solicitor's clerk who entertained an angel unawares--with an artistic
sympathy that is the rare joy of the actor, when he feels, like one who
has the perfect partner in a waltz, that he merges his own individuality
into a divine union. At the end of the third act the curtain came down
on the angel bending over his chair, her hand in his. It remained there,
a warm and human thing, and her breath was on his cheek, for a
long time, while the curtain went up and down. It was by no means
disagreeable to hold Leonora's hand and feel her breath on his cheek,
after the common emotion of the swinging scene. Hundreds of men would
have given their ears to have done the same without any swinging scene
at all.
Herold certainly took the lady by the tips of her fingers and adventured
with her into the Land of Tenderness--the _Pays du Tendre_ of the old
French romanticists. How could mortal man help it? The theatre and the
theatrical world clacked with gossip. The unapproachable Leonora, the
elusive Herold: it was brilliant high-comedy marriage. Already those
not bound by romance criticized the possibilities of a joint management.
Could he always play lead to her? Was not his scope, exquisite in it
though he was, too limited? She was the Juliet of her generation. Would
he be content to play the Apothecary? Sooner or later there would be
the devil to pay. To the onlookers who see most of the game and to the
overhearers who hear ever so much more, the affair between the two was
a concluded matter; but the parties to the supposed contract still
wandered in the sweet pastures of the indefinite. And this was through
no fault of the lady. She did her best, as far as lay in the power of
modest woman, to lead him to the precise highroad; but Herold remained
as elusive as a will-o'-the-wisp.
“You 're not very responsive to-night, Walter,” she said during a wait
in the first act, which they generally spent on the stairs leading from
stage to dressing-rooms.
In the intimate world of the theatre the use of the Christian name is a
commonplace signifying nothing; but a trick of voice may make it signify
a great deal. Herold, sensitive, caught her tone and bit his lip.
“The actor's Monday slackness,” said he.
“Where have you been week-ending?”
“Nowhere in particular.”
“And you refused Lady Luxmore's invitation, knowing that I was to be
there, in order to go nowhere in particular?”
“The floor of that house is littered with duchesses,” said he. “Its
untidiness gets on my nerves.”
“That's too flippant, Walter. Why not say at once that you went to
Southcliff?”
“That's nowhere in particular,” said he. “It's my second home.”
“And you come back from it as merry as a young gentleman in a Hauptmann
play. You are barely civil.”
“My dear Leonora!” he protested.
She looked him straight in the eye and shook her head.
“Barely civil. What have I done to you?”
“You have always shown yourself to be the sweetest of women,” said he.
“Then why not treat me as such?”
She stood near him on the narrow stair, alluring, reproachful, menacing,
yet ready to be submissive. Despite her make-up, her proud beauty shone
replendent. If she had been a wise woman, she would have let him answer
the challenge. But a woman in love is an idiot; Heaven forbid that she
should be otherwise! So is a man, for the matter of that; but he obeys
an elementary instinct of self-protection. Woman essentially disobedient
(_cf. Rex Mundi vs. Eve_) does not. Hence storms and tempests and
cataclysms. Seeing him hesitate, she added jealously:
“I believe there is more attraction in the shadow-child at Southcliff
than I have been led to suppose.” A man of the world, he ignored the
challenge, and turned off the innuendo with a laugh.
“Who can say what is shadow and what is substance here below? Kant will
tell you that nothing exists save as an idea in our minds.”
“I don't seem to exist in yours at all.”
“There you wrong me,” he cried.
They fenced as they had fenced before; but on her mention of
Stellamaris, Herold had closed against her the outer court of his heart
into which she had stepped, and, looking at her, had become frozenly
aware that the dark Irish eyes, and the raven hair on a stately head,
and the curved, promising lips, and the queenly figure, and the genius
and rich womanhood of which these were the investiture of flesh, meant
to him nothing and less than nothing. The woman read her sentence in his
eyes, and abruptly left him, and stood in the wings until her entrance.
And Herold, manlike, gave her no thought; for his head was in a whirl,
and his heart afire, with a new and consuming knowledge. The splendour
of all the Leonora Gurneys, of all the splendid women of the earth,
faded into a pale glimmer before the starry eyes of one girl.
As a wonder-child, as a thing of sea-foam and sunset cloud, she had
crept into his soul and had taken up therein her everlasting habitation.
She was the very music of his being, an indissoluble essence of himself.
He wondered, as men untouched by love do wonder, why no woman had done
more than stir the surface of emotion. Now he knew. He had loved her in
her exquisite ideality with a love that was more than love. Now, in her
magical transformation, he loved her with love itself.
Stella Maris, star of the sea! Stella Herold, star of that which is
greater than all the multitudinous seas of earth, the soul of a man!
He dreamed his dreams, and gave that evening an exceedingly bad
performance.
Soon afterwards, with drums playing and colours flying, Stella came
with her retinue to London. She had rooms in a magnificent hostelry,
a magnificent hired motor-car to transport her, and as magnificent
raiment, chosen by her own delicate self, as any young woman could
desire. But despite all this magnificence, she wept over many a lost
illusion. Where were the music-haunted streets, the golden pavements,
the gorgeous castles, the joyous throngs of which John, years ago, had
fed the swift imagination of the child?
On their way from Victoria' Station they passed through St. James's
Park.
“That's Buckingham Palace,” said Sir Oliver, with more pride than if he
owned it.
“That?”
Her heart sank like a stone dropped down a well: That dingy,
black barrack the stately home of the king? And when they swung up
Constitution Hill and lined up in the traffic by Hyde Park Corner,
“This,” said Sir Oliver, “is Piccadilly.”
What she had expected, poor child, to find in Piccadilly, she scarcely
knew; but from infancy, the name had a sweet and mystic significance.
It connoted beauty and grandeur; it was associated in her mind with silk
and gold and marble. It was what a street in the New Jerusalem might
have been had John of Patmos had the training of a star reporter. Poor
Piccadilly! To the Englishman the most beauteous, the most seductive,
the fullest of meaning of all the thoroughfares of the cities of the
world, to the disillusioned girl it was only a dismal, clattering,
shrieking ravine. Why had they lied to her? She could not understand.
The first evening she was overstrained, and went to bed early; but the
next night they took her to see the play in which Herold was acting.
“I 'll bring her round between the acts,” said John to Herold, during a
discussion of the adventure.
“You 'll do nothing of the sort,” said Herold.
“It will interest her tremendously to go behind.”
“And see all the tinsel and make-believe? What a fool you are, John!”
“Well, anyhow, we 'll come and see you in your dressing-room,” said
John, who recognized some reason in his friend's objection. “We can get
round without crossing the stage.”
Herold put his hands on John's great shoulders.
“My dear John,” said he, “I love my profession very dearly, but there's
one thing in it which I loathe, and that is having to paint my face.”
He said no more; but John understood, though he thought it somewhat
finicking of Herold to shrink from meeting Stella in his make-up. He
had seen him talk thus to dames and damsels of the most exalted station
without a shadow of false shame.
So Stella went to the play without peeping behind the scenes; and then,
indeed, she once more lived in her Land of Illusion. The hushed house,
spectral in the dim light, seemed part of a dream-world. On the stage,
life real and vibrating passed before her enraptured eyes. During the
first part of the play she squeezed John's hand tight, and during the
intervals said very little. She did not question the means by which
Herold transformed himself into the broken-down solicitor's clerk.
He was the solicitor's clerk, and no longer Herold. His love for
the beautiful woman, at first so hopeless, wrung her heart. Then the
response of the woman set her pulses throbbing. The third act, an
admirable piece of crescendo, reached a height of passion which held her
tense. Love the Conqueror, the almighty, spread his compelling pinions
over the breathless house. It was a revelation. She had never suspected
the existence of such a tumultuous phenomenon. Love she had heard of,
the love of Prince Charming for Princess Rose; but it had meant no more
to her than the loves of butterflies. This was different. It explained
things she had not understood in music. It opened up the world that had
lain hidden beyond the crimson of her sunsets.
When the curtain came down on the end of the great love-scene she was
too much overwrought to applaud. She sat pale, shaken, limp, with only
one great desire--that all surroundings would vanish and that she could
find herself by her window looking out over the moonlit sea. There, she
felt, she could weep her heart out; here her eyes were intolerably dry.
Sir Oliver rose and stretched himself at the back of the box.
“Devilish good! Splendid! Never thought Walter could touch it. Miss
Gurney, too, immense. Puts one in mind of Adelaide Neilson. Best Juliet
there has ever been. Before your time, John. Jolly good job, however,
people don't go on like that in real life.”
Stella turned her head quickly.
“What do you mean, Uncle?”
“People go a bit quieter, my dear,” he laughed.
“Gad! If that sort of thing became popular, it would tear us all to
bits.”
He went out to smoke, dragging John with him. Stella put a wistful
little gloved hand on Lady Blount's knee.
“Is that true, Auntie?”
Lady Blount sighed. Such storms of emotion had not come her way. She
looked backward over the dreary vista of sixty barren years. One such
hour of madness, and what a difference in her memories!
“I can't tell you, darling. Perhaps not, if two people love each other
very, very dearly; but they must do that--and love is n't given to every
one.”
An ingenuous question rose to the girl's lips, but it died there,
poisoned by the remembrance of vile words of hatred. Instead, she asked:
“How many people, then, love like those two in the play?”
“About one in a million,” replied Lady Blount.
And Stella, with the young girl's sweet and natural wonder whether she
might possibly be one of the million, felt the hot blood rise to neck
and cheek. Ashamed, she held her fan before her face and, leaning over
the front of the box, watched the shimmering stalls.
The play over, they drove home in the magnificent motor-car. Supper
awaited them in their sitting-room, where Herold was to join them later.
Stella lay back on the luxurious seat, nestling by Lady Blount, languid,
with closed eyes. The others, thinking that she was physically fatigued,
said little. They did not realize the soul-shaking effect of the
revelation of human passion on their pure star of the sea. It was not
given them to divine the tempest--such a one, perhaps, as that which
rocks the bee on its flower, though a storm all the same--that raged
beneath the mask of the delicate face. They thought she was fatigued,
and because they loved her they did not weary her with speech.
She was indeed tired, desperately tired, by the time they arrived at the
hotel. She could scarcely walk up the steps. John supported her to the
lift. When they reached their landing, he took her bodily in his arms
and carried her down the corridor, Sir Oliver and Lady Blount hurrying
on in front, so as to open the sitting-room door and turn on the lights.
Stella's head lay on John's shoulder, an arm, for security's sake,
instinctively round his neck. The way was long, the lift serving the
wing wherein their apartments were situated being out of working order,
and John lingered on the delicious journey.
“Poor darling! We 've exhausted you,” he whispered.
She shook her head and smiled wanly. “It was wonderful.” And after
a second she said: “And this is wonderful, too. How strong you are,
Belovedest.”
“Do you like me to carry you?”
She opened her eyes and they looked dreamily into his. He laughed, and
bent his head, and kissed her. He had kissed her thousands of times
before, but this time her soft lips met his for an instant, and when
they parted, her eyes closed again, and she lay back very white in his
arms. And John, too, was shaken, and held the delicate body very tight
against him and quickened his pace.
He laid her gently on a couch in the sitting-room. Lady Blount was all
for her going then and there to bed; but she pleaded for a sight of
Herold. He came in a few moments afterwards. She roused herself, thanked
him in her gracious way for the evening of delight.
“To-morrow, dear, I 'll tell you all about it. I am just a little bit
dazed now.”
“Has it been a great adventure?” he asked, with a laugh.
Involuntarily she glanced at John and saw his eyes fixed on her. She
flushed slightly.
“Perhaps the greatest of all,” she said.
The men walked together the common part of their homeward journey. John
slipped his arm through his friend's, a rare demonstration of affection.
“Wallie, old man,” said he, “I 'm in hell again. I 've got to get out. I
must n't see any more of Stella.”
“Why not?”
“Just that. I must get out of her life somehow. Things have changed.
It's too horrible to think of.” Herold shook himself free and halted.
“My God!” he cried, “you?”
John threw up his arms in a gesture of despair. “Can I help it? It is
n't given to man to help these things.”
“And Stella?”
“I must get out of her life,” said John.
“It will be difficult.”
“What can you suggest?”
“Nothing,” said Herold--“nothing now.”
They moved on, and walked in dead silence to the parting of their ways.