CHAPTER 17

One day, about a fortnight after the coroner's inquest had been held,

and when the excitement of the terrible affair was calming down and Polk

Street beginning to resume its monotonous routine, Old Grannis sat in

his clean, well-kept little room, in his cushioned armchair, his hands

lying idly upon his knees. It was evening; not quite time to light the

lamps. Old Grannis had drawn his chair close to the wall--so close, in

fact, that he could hear Miss Baker's grenadine brushing against the

other side of the thin partition, at his very elbow, while she rocked

gently back and forth, a cup of tea in her hands.

Old Grannis's occupation was gone. That morning the bookselling firm

where he had bought his pamphlets had taken his little binding apparatus

from him to use as a model. The transaction had been concluded. Old

Grannis had received his check. It was large enough, to be sure,

but when all was over, he returned to his room and sat there sad and

unoccupied, looking at the pattern in the carpet and counting the heads

of the tacks in the zinc guard that was fastened to the wall behind his

little stove. By and by he heard Miss Baker moving about. It was five

o'clock, the time when she was accustomed to make her cup of tea and

“keep company” with him on her side of the partition. Old Grannis drew

up his chair to the wall near where he knew she was sitting. The minutes

passed; side by side, and separated by only a couple of inches of board,

the two old people sat there together, while the afternoon grew darker.

But for Old Grannis all was different that evening. There was nothing

for him to do. His hands lay idly in his lap. His table, with its pile

of pamphlets, was in a far corner of the room, and, from time to time,

stirred with an uncertain trouble, he turned his head and looked at it

sadly, reflecting that he would never use it again. The absence of his

accustomed work seemed to leave something out of his life. It did not

appear to him that he could be the same to Miss Baker now; their little

habits were disarranged, their customs broken up. He could no longer

fancy himself so near to her. They would drift apart now, and she would

no longer make herself a cup of tea and “keep company” with him when

she knew that he would never again sit before his table binding uncut

pamphlets. He had sold his happiness for money; he had bartered all his

tardy romance for some miserable banknotes. He had not foreseen that it

would be like this. A vast regret welled up within him. What was that

on the back of his hand? He wiped it dry with his ancient silk

handkerchief.

Old Grannis leant his face in his hands. Not only did an inexplicable

regret stir within him, but a certain great tenderness came upon him.

The tears that swam in his faded blue eyes were not altogether those of

unhappiness. No, this long-delayed affection that had come upon him in

his later years filled him with a joy for which tears seemed to be the

natural expression. For thirty years his eyes had not been wet, but

tonight he felt as if he were young again. He had never loved before,

and there was still a part of him that was only twenty years of age. He

could not tell whether he was profoundly sad or deeply happy; but he was

not ashamed of the tears that brought the smart to his eyes and the ache

to his throat. He did not hear the timid rapping on his door, and it was

not until the door itself opened that he looked up quickly and saw the

little retired dressmaker standing on the threshold, carrying a cup of

tea on a tiny Japanese tray. She held it toward him.

“I was making some tea,” she said, “and I thought you would like to have

a cup.”

Never after could the little dressmaker understand how she had brought

herself to do this thing. One moment she had been sitting quietly on her

side of the partition, stirring her cup of tea with one of her Gorham

spoons. She was quiet, she was peaceful. The evening was closing

down tranquilly. Her room was the picture of calmness and order. The

geraniums blooming in the starch boxes in the window, the aged goldfish

occasionally turning his iridescent flank to catch a sudden glow of the

setting sun. The next moment she had been all trepidation. It seemed to

her the most natural thing in the world to make a steaming cup of tea

and carry it in to Old Grannis next door. It seemed to her that he was

wanting her, that she ought to go to him. With the brusque resolve and

intrepidity that sometimes seizes upon very timid people--the courage of

the coward greater than all others--she had presented herself at the old

Englishman's half-open door, and, when he had not heeded her knock,

had pushed it open, and at last, after all these years, stood upon

the threshold of his room. She had found courage enough to explain her

intrusion.

“I was making some tea, and I thought you would like to have a cup.”

Old Grannis dropped his hands upon either arm of his chair, and, leaning

forward a little, looked at her blankly. He did not speak.

The retired dressmaker's courage had carried her thus far; now it

deserted her as abruptly as it had come. Her cheeks became scarlet; her

funny little false curls trembled with her agitation. What she had done

seemed to her indecorous beyond expression. It was an enormity. Fancy,

she had gone into his room, INTO HIS ROOM--Mister Grannis's room. She

had done this--she who could not pass him on the stairs without a qualm.

What to do she did not know. She stood, a fixture, on the threshold of

his room, without even resolution enough to beat a retreat. Helplessly,

and with a little quaver in her voice, she repeated obstinately:

“I was making some tea, and I thought you would like to have a cup of

tea.” Her agitation betrayed itself in the repetition of the word. She

felt that she could not hold the tray out another instant. Already she

was trembling so that half the tea was spilled.

Old Grannis still kept silence, still bending forward, with wide eyes,

his hands gripping the arms of his chair.

Then with the tea-tray still held straight before her, the little

dressmaker exclaimed tearfully:

“Oh, I didn't mean--I didn't mean--I didn't know it would seem like

this. I only meant to be kind and bring you some tea; and now it seems

SO improper. I--I--I'm SO ashamed! I don't know what you will think

of me. I--” she caught her breath--“improper”--she managed to exclaim,

“unlady-like--you can never think well of me--I'll go. I'll go.” She

turned about.

“Stop,” cried Old Grannis, finding his voice at last. Miss Baker paused,

looking at him over her shoulder, her eyes very wide open, blinking

through her tears, for all the world like a frightened child.

“Stop,” exclaimed the old Englishman, rising to his feet. “I didn't know

it was you at first. I hadn't dreamed--I couldn't believe you would be

so good, so kind to me. Oh,” he cried, with a sudden sharp breath, “oh,

you ARE kind. I--I--you have--have made me very happy.”

“No, no,” exclaimed Miss Baker, ready to sob. “It was unlady-like. You

will--you must think ill of me.” She stood in the hall. The tears were

running down her cheeks, and she had no free hand to dry them.

“Let me--I'll take the tray from you,” cried Old Grannis, coming

forward. A tremulous joy came upon him. Never in his life had he been

so happy. At last it had come--come when he had least expected it. That

which he had longed for and hoped for through so many years, behold, it

was come to-night. He felt his awkwardness leaving him. He was almost

certain that the little dressmaker loved him, and the thought gave him

boldness. He came toward her and took the tray from her hands, and,

turning back into the room with it, made as if to set it upon his table.

But the piles of his pamphlets were in the way. Both of his hands were

occupied with the tray; he could not make a place for it on the table.

He stood for a moment uncertain, his embarrassment returning.

“Oh, won't you--won't you please--” He turned his head, looking

appealingly at the little old dressmaker.

“Wait, I'll help you,” she said. She came into the room, up to the

table, and moved the pamphlets to one side.

“Thanks, thanks,” murmured Old Grannis, setting down the tray.

“Now--now--now I will go back,” she exclaimed, hurriedly.

“No--no,” returned the old Englishman. “Don't go, don't go. I've been

so lonely to-night--and last night too--all this year--all my life,” he

suddenly cried.

“I--I--I've forgotten the sugar.”

“But I never take sugar in my tea.”

“But it's rather cold, and I've spilled it--almost all of it.”

“I'll drink it from the saucer.” Old Grannis had drawn up his armchair

for her.

“Oh, I shouldn't. This is--this is SO--You must think ill of me.”

Suddenly she sat down, and resting her elbows on the table, hid her face

in her hands.

“Think ILL of you?” cried Old Grannis, “think ILL of you? Why, you don't

know--you have no idea--all these years--living so close to you, I--I--”

he paused suddenly. It seemed to him as if the beating of his heart was

choking him.

“I thought you were binding your books to-night,” said Miss Baker,

suddenly, “and you looked tired. I thought you looked tired when I last

saw you, and a cup of tea, you know, it--that--that does you so much

good when you're tired. But you weren't binding books.”

“No, no,” returned Old Grannis, drawing up a chair and sitting down.

“No, I--the fact is, I've sold my apparatus; a firm of booksellers has

bought the rights of it.”

“And aren't you going to bind books any more?” exclaimed the little

dressmaker, a shade of disappointment in her manner. “I thought you

always did about four o'clock. I used to hear you when I was making

tea.”

It hardly seemed possible to Miss Baker that she was actually talking to

Old Grannis, that the two were really chatting together, face to face,

and without the dreadful embarrassment that used to overwhelm them both

when they met on the stairs. She had often dreamed of this, but had

always put it off to some far-distant day. It was to come gradually,

little by little, instead of, as now, abruptly and with no preparation.

That she should permit herself the indiscretion of actually intruding

herself into his room had never so much as occurred to her. Yet here she

was, IN HIS ROOM, and they were talking together, and little by little

her embarrassment was wearing away.

“Yes, yes, I always heard you when you were making tea,” returned the

old Englishman; “I heard the tea things. Then I used to draw my chair

and my work-table close to the wall on my side, and sit there and work

while you drank your tea just on the other side; and I used to feel very

near to you then. I used to pass the whole evening that way.”

“And, yes--yes--I did too,” she answered. “I used to make tea just at

that time and sit there for a whole hour.”

“And didn't you sit close to the partition on your side? Sometimes I

was sure of it. I could even fancy that I could hear your dress brushing

against the wall-paper close beside me. Didn't you sit close to the

partition?”

“I--I don't know where I sat.”

Old Grannis shyly put out his hand and took hers as it lay upon her lap.

“Didn't you sit close to the partition on your side?” he insisted.

“No--I don't know--perhaps--sometimes. Oh, yes,” she exclaimed, with a

little gasp, “Oh, yes, I often did.”

Then Old Grannis put his arm about her, and kissed her faded cheek, that

flushed to pink upon the instant.

After that they spoke but little. The day lapsed slowly into twilight,

and the two old people sat there in the gray evening, quietly, quietly,

their hands in each other's hands, “keeping company,” but now with

nothing to separate them. It had come at last. After all these years

they were together; they understood each other. They stood at length in

a little Elysium of their own creating. They walked hand in hand in

a delicious garden where it was always autumn. Far from the world

and together they entered upon the long retarded romance of their

commonplace and uneventful lives.

McTeague: A Story of San Francisco · 第 17 / 22 章