IV

'I'm suffering, Mashi, but nothing like you imagine. It seems to me

as if my pain were gradually separating itself from my life. Like

a laden boat, it was so long being towed behind, but the rope has

snapped, and now it floats away with all my burdens. Still I can see

it, but it is no longer mine.... But, Mashi, I've not seen Mani even

once for the last two days!'

'Jotin, let me give you another pillow.'

'It almost seems to me, Mashi, that Mani also has left me like that

laden boat of sorrow which drifts away.'

'Just sip some pomegranate juice, dear! Your throat must be getting

dry.'

'I wrote my will yesterday; did I show it to you? I can't recollect.'

'There's no need to show it to me, Jotin.'

'When mother died, I had nothing of my own. You fed me and brought me

up. Therefore I was saying----'

'Nonsense, child! I had only this house and a little property. You

earned the rest.'

'But this house----?'

'That's nothing. Why, you've added to it so much that it's difficult

to find out where my house was!'

'I'm sure Mani's love for you is really----'

'Yes, yes! I know that, Jotin. Now you try to sleep.'

'Though I have bequeathed all my property to Mani, it is practically

yours, Mashi. She will never disobey you.'

'Why are you worrying so much about that, dear?'

'All I have I owe to you. When you see my will don't think for a

moment that----'

'What do you mean, Jotin? Do you think I shall mind for a moment

because you give to Mani what belongs to you? Surely I'm not so mean

as that?'

'But you also will have----'

'Look here, Jotin, I shall get angry with you. You want to console me

with money!'

'Oh, Mashi, how I wish I could give you something better than money!'

'That you have done, Jotin!--more than enough. Haven't I had you to

fill my lonely house? I must have won that great good-fortune in

many previous births! You have given me so much that now, if my

destiny's due is exhausted, I shall not complain. Yes, yes! Give away

everything in Mani's name,--your house, your money, your carriage,

and your land--such burdens are too heavy for me!'

'Of course I know you have lost your taste for the enjoyments of life,

but Mani is so young that----'

'No! you mustn't say that. If you want to leave her your property,

it is all right, but as for enjoyment----'

'What harm if she does enjoy herself, Mashi?'

'No, no, it will be impossible. Her throat will become parched, and

it will be dust and ashes to her.'

* * * * *

Jotin remained silent. He could not decide whether it was true or not,

and whether it was a matter of regret or otherwise, that the world

would become distasteful to Mani for want of him. The stars seemed

to whisper in his heart:

'Indeed it is true. We have been watching for thousands of years, and

know that all these great preparations for enjoyment are but vanity.'

* * * * *

Jotin sighed and said: 'We cannot leave behind us what is really worth

giving.'

'It's no trifle you are giving, dearest. I only pray she may have the

power to know the value of what is given her.'

'Give me a little more of that pomegranate juice, Mashi, I'm thirsty.

Did Mani come to me yesterday, I wonder?'

'Yes, she came, but you were asleep. She sat by your head, fanning

you for a long time, and then went away to get your clothes washed.'

'How wonderful! I believe I was dreaming that very moment that Mani

was trying to enter my room. The door was slightly open, and she was

pushing against it, but it wouldn't open. But, Mashi, you're going too

far,--you ought to let her see that I am dying; otherwise my death will

be a terrible shock to her.'

'Baba, let me put this shawl over your feet; they are getting cold.'

'No, Mashi, I can't bear anything over me like that.'

'Do you know, Jotin, Mani made this shawl for you? When she ought to

have been asleep, she was busy at it. It was finished only yesterday.'

Jotin took the shawl, and touched it tenderly with his hands. It

seemed to him that the softness of the wool was Mani's own. Her loving

thoughts had been woven night after night with its threads. It was

not made merely of wool, but also of her touch. Therefore, when Mashi

drew that shawl over his feet, it seemed as if, night after night,

Mani had been caressing his tired limbs.

'But, Mashi, I thought Mani didn't know how to knit,--at any rate she

never liked it.'

'It doesn't take long to learn a thing. Of course I had to teach her.

Then there are a good many mistakes in it.'

'Let there be mistakes; we're not going to send it to the Paris

Exhibition. It will keep my feet warm in spite of its mistakes.'

Jotin's mind began to picture Mani at her task, blundering and

struggling, and yet patiently going on night after night. How sweetly

pathetic it was! And again he went over the shawl with his caressing

fingers.

'Mashi, is the doctor downstairs?'

'Yes, he will stay here to-night.'

'But tell him it is useless for him to give me a sleeping draught. It

doesn't bring me real rest and only adds to my pain. Let me remain

properly awake. Do you know, Mashi, that my wedding took place on the

night of the full moon in the month of _Baisakh_? To-morrow will be

that day, and the stars of that very night will be shining in the

sky. Mani perhaps has forgotten. I want to remind her of it to-day;

just call her to me for a minute or two.... Why do you keep silent?

I suppose the doctor has told you I am so weak that any excitement

will----but I tell you truly, Mashi, to-night, if I can have only a

few minutes' talk with her, there will be no need for any sleeping

draughts. Mashi, don't cry like that! I am quite well. To-day my heart

is full as it has never been in my life before. That's why I want

to see Mani. No, no, Mashi, I can't bear to see you crying! You have

been so quiet all these last days. Why are you so troubled to-night?'

'Oh, Jotin, I thought that I had exhausted all my tears, but I find

there are plenty left. I can't bear it any longer.'

'Call Mani. I'll remind her of our wedding night, so that to-morrow

she may----'

'I'm going, dear. Shombhu will wait at the door. If you want anything,

call him.'

Mashi went to Mani's bedroom and sat down on the floor crying,--'Oh

come, come once, you heartless wretch! Keep his last request who has

given you his all! Don't kill him who is already dying!'

* * * * *