MISS VYNE
As I stepped out on to the platform with a valedictory bow to my
reverend fellow-passenger, my irresolution came to an end and my duty
became clear. I must, in common decency, report myself at once to
Thorndyke, seeing that he had been at so much trouble on my account.
His card, which he had given me, I had unfortunately--or perhaps
fortunately, as it turned out--left on the mantelpiece at my lodgings;
but I remembered that the address was King’s Bench Walk and assumed
that I should have no difficulty in finding the house. Nor had I, for,
as I entered the Temple by the Tudor Street gate--having overshot my
mark on the Embankment--I was almost immediately confronted by a fine
brick doorway surmounted by a handsome pediment and bearing legibly
painted on its jamb, “First pair, Dr. Thorndyke.”
I ascended the “first pair” of stairs, which brought me to an open oak
door, massive and iron-bound, and a closed inner door, on the brass
knocker of which I executed a flourish that would have done credit to
a Belgravian footman; whereupon the door opened and a small man of
sedate and clerical aspect regarded me with an air of mild enquiry.
“Is Dr. Thorndyke at home?” I asked.
“No, sir. He is at the hospital.”
“Dr. Jervis?”
“Is watching a case in the Probate Court. Perhaps you would like to
leave a message or write a note. A message in writing would be
preferable.”
“I don’t know that it’s necessary,” said I. “My name is Jardine, and
if you tell him that I called that will probably be enough.”
The little man gave me a quick, bird-like glance of obviously
heightened interest.
“If you are Dr. Humphrey Jardine,” said he, “I think a few explanatory
words would be acceptable. The Doctor has been extremely uneasy about
you. A short note and an appointment, either here or at the hospital,
would be desirable.”
With this he stepped back, holding the door invitingly open, and I
entered, wondering who the deuce this prim little cathedral dean might
be, with his persuasive manners and his quaintly precise forms of
speech. He placed a chair for me at the table, and, having furnished
me with writing materials, stood a little way off, unobtrusively
examining me as I wrote. I had finished the short letter, closed it up
and addressed it, and was rising to go, when, almost automatically, I
took out my watch and glanced at it. Of course it had stopped.
“Can you tell me the time?” I asked.
My acquaintance drew out his own watch and replied deliberately:
“Seventeen minutes and forty seconds past one.” He paused for a moment
and then added: “I hope, sir, you have not got any water into your
watch.”
“I’m afraid I have,” I replied, rather taken aback by the rapidity of
his diagnosis. “But I’ll just wind it up to make sure.”
“Oh, don’t do that, sir!” he exclaimed. “Allow me to examine it before
you disturb the movement.” He whipped out of his pocket a watchmaker’s
eyeglass, which miraculously glued itself to his eye, and, having
taken a brief glance at the opened watch, produced a minute pocket
screw-driver and a sheet of paper; and, in the twinkling of an eye, as
it seemed to me, the paper was covered with the dismembered structures
which had in their totality formed my timepiece.
“It’s quite a small matter, sir,” was his report, as he rose from his
inspection and pocketed his eye-glass. “Just a speck or two of rust.
If you will take my watch for the present, I will have your own in
going order by the next time you call.”
It seemed an odd transaction; but the little man’s manner, though
quiet, was so decisive that I took his proffered watch, and, affixing
it to my chain, thanked him for his kindness and departed, wondering
if it was possible that this prim, clerical little person could
possibly be the “tame mechanic” of whom Thorndyke had spoken.
Travelling in London was comparatively slow in those days--which,
perhaps, was none the worse for a near and pleasant suburb like
Hampstead; it had turned half-past two when I let myself into my
lodgings with a rather rusty key and almost literally, fell into the
arms of Mrs. Blunt. I feared, for a moment, that she was going to kiss
me. But that was a false alarm. What she actually did was to seize
both my hands and burst into tears with such violence as to cover me
with confusion and cause the servant maid to rise like a domestic, and
highly inquisitive, apparition from the kitchen stairs. I pacified
Mrs. Blunt as well as I could and shook hands heartily with the maid,
who thereupon retired, much gratified, to the underworld, whence
presently issued an odour suggestive of sacrificial rites, not
entirely unconnected with fried onions, and accompanied by an
agreeable hissing sound.
“But wherever have you been all this time?” Mrs. Blunt asked, as she
preceded me up the stairs wiping her eyes, “and why didn’t you send us
a line just to say that you were all right?”
To this question I made a somewhat guarded answer in so far as the
cause of my immersion in the river was concerned; otherwise I gave her
a fairly correct account of my adventures.
“Well, well,” was her comment, “I suppose it was all for the best, but
I do think those sailors might have put you on shore somewhere. Dear
me, what a time it has been. I couldn’t sleep at night for thinking of
you, and what Susan and I have eaten between us wouldn’t have kept a
sparrow alive. And Dr. Thorndyke, too, I’m sure he was very anxious
and worried about you, though he is such a quiet, self-contained man
that you can’t tell what he is thinking of. And Lord; what a lot of
questions he do ask, to be sure!”
“By the way, how did he come to know that I was missing?”
“Why, I told him, of course. When you didn’t come home that
night--which Susan and me sat up for you until three in the morning--I
thought there must be something wrong, you being so regular in your
habits; so next day, the very first thing, I took his card from your
mantelpiece and down I went to his office and told him what had
happened. He came up here that evening to see if you had come home,
and he’s been here every day since to enquire.”
“Has he really?”
“Yes. In a hansom cab. Every single day. And so has the young lady.”
“The young lady!” I exclaimed. “What young lady?”
Mrs. Blunt regarded me with something as nearly approaching a wink as
can be imagined in association with an elderly female of sedate
aspect.
“Now,” she protested slyly, “as if you didn’t know! What young lady
indeed! Why, Miss Vyne, to be sure; and a very sweet young lady she
is, and talked to me just as simple and friendly as if she’d been an
ordinary young woman.”
“How do you know that she isn’t an ordinary young woman?” I asked.
Mrs. Blunt was shocked. “Do you suppose, Mr. Jardine, sir,” she
demanded severely, “that I who have been a head parlour-maid in a
county family where my poor husband was coachman, don’t know a real
gentlewoman when I meet one? You surprise me, sir.”
I apologized hastily and suggested that, as so many kind enquiries had
been made, the least I could do was to call and return thanks without
delay.
“Certainly, sir,” Mrs. Blunt agreed; “but not until you have had your
lunch. It’s a small porterhouse steak,” she added alluringly, being
evidently suspicious of my intentions. The announcement, seconded by
an appetizing whiff from below, reminded me that I was prodigiously
sharp set, having tasted no food since I had come ashore at
Folkestone, and put the grosser physiological needs of the body, for
the moment, in the ascendant. But even as I was devouring the steak
with voracious gusto, my mind occupied itself with plans for a
strategic descent on the abode of the fair Sylvia and with
speculations on the reception I should get; and the noise of water
running into the bath formed a pleasing accompaniment to the final
mouthfuls.
When I had bathed, shaved and attired myself in carefully selected
garments, I set forth, as smart and spruce as the frog that would
a-wooing go--saving the opera hat, which would have been inappropriate
to the occasion. The distance to Sylvia’s house was not great, and a
pair of long and rapidly-moving legs consumed it to such purpose that
it was still quite reasonable calling time when I opened the gate of
“The Hawthorns” and gave a modest pull at the bell. My summons was
answered by a rather foolish-looking maid, by whom I was informed that
Miss Vyne was at home, and when I had given her my name--which she
seemed disposed to confuse with that of a well-known edible fish--she
ushered me down a passage to a room at the back of the house, and,
opening the door, announced me--correctly, I was glad to note;
whereupon I assumed an ingratiating smile and entered.
Now there is nothing more disconcerting than a total failure of
agreement between anticipation and realization. Unconsciously, I had
pictured to myself the easy-mannered, genial Sylvia, seated, perhaps,
at an easel or table, working on one of her pictures, and had prepared
myself for a reception quite simple, friendly and unembarrassing.
Confidently and entirely at my ease, I walked in through the doorway;
and there the pleasant vision faded, leaving me with the smile frozen
on my face, staring in consternation at one of the most appalling old
women that it has ever been my misfortune to encounter.
I am, in general, rather afraid of old women. They are, to my mind, a
rather alarming class of creature; but the present specimen exceeded
my wildest nightmares. It was not merely that she was seated
unnaturally in the exact centre of the room and that she sat with
unhuman immobility, moving no muscle and uttering no sound as I
entered, though that was somewhat embarrassing. It was her strange,
forbidding appearance that utterly shattered my self-possession and
seemed to disturb the very marrow in my bones.
She was a most remarkable-looking person. An immense Roman nose, a mop
of frizzy grey fringe and a lofty surmounting cap or head-dress of
some kind, suggested that monstrous and unreal bird, the helmeted
hornbill; and the bird-like character was heightened by her eyes,
which were small and glittering and set in the midst of a multitude of
radiating wrinkles.
To this most alarming person I made a low bow--and dropped my stick,
of which the maid had neglected to relieve me and for which I had
found no appointed receptacle. As I stooped hastily to pick it up, my
hat slipped from my grasp, and, urged by the devil that possesses
disengaged hats, instantly rolled under a deep ottoman, whence I had
to hook it out with the handle of my stick. I rose, perspiring with
embarrassment, to confront that immovable figure, and found the
glittering eyes fixed on me attentively but without any sign of
expression of human emotion. Haltingly I essayed to stammer out an
explanation of my visit.
“Er--I have--er--called--” Here I paused to collect my ideas and the
old lady watched me stonily without offering any remark; indeed no
comment was needed on a statement so self-evidently true. After a
brief and hideous silence I began again.
“I--er--thought it desirable--er--and in fact necessary
and--er--proper to call--er and--”
Here my ideas again petered out and a horrid silence ensued, amidst
which I heard a still, emotionless voice murmur:
“Yes. And you have accordingly called.”
“Exactly,” I agreed, grasping eagerly at the slenderest straw of
suggestion. “I have called to--er--well, the fact is that my--er--very
remarkable absence seemed to call for some explanation, especially as
certain enquiries--er--”
At this point I stopped suddenly with a horrible doubt as to whether I
was not saying more than was discreet; and the misgiving was
intensified by that chilly, calm voice, framing the question:
“Enquiries made personally?”
Now this was a facer. I seemed to have put my foot in it at the first
lead off. Supposing Sylvia had said nothing about her little visits to
Mrs. Blunt? It would never do to give her away to this inquisitorial
old waxwork. I endeavoured to temporize.
“Well,” I stammered, “not exactly made personally to me.”
“By letter, perhaps?” the voice suggested in the same even, impassive
tone.
“Er--no. Not by letter.”
There was a short embarrassing pause, and then the old lady, as if
summing up the case, said frigidly:
“Not exactly personally and not by letter.”
I was so utterly confounded by her judicial manner, her immovable,
expressionless face and the hypnotic quality of those glittering eyes,
that for the moment I could think of nothing to say.
“Don’t let me interrupt you,” said she after some seconds of agonized
silence on my part; whereupon I pulled myself together and made a
fresh start.
“I should, perhaps, have explained that I have been unavoidably absent
from home for some time, and, as I was unable to communicate with my
friends, I have, I am afraid, caused them some anxiety. It was this
that seemed to make it necessary for me to call and give an account of
myself.”
She pondered awhile on this statement--if a graven image can be said
to ponder--and at length enquired:
“You spoke of your friends. Are any of them known to me?”
“Well,” I replied, “I was referring more particularly to your
daughter.”
She continued to regard me fixedly, and, after a brief interval,
rejoined:
“You are referring to my daughter. But I do not recall the existence
of any such person. I think you must be mistaken.”
It seemed extremely probable, and I hastened to amend the description.
“I beg your pardon. I should have said Miss Vyne. But perhaps she is
not at home.”
“You are evidently mistaken,” was the paralyzing reply. “I am Miss
Vyne; and I need not add that I am at home.”
“But,” I demanded despairingly, “is there not another Miss Vyne?”
“There is not,” she answered. “But it is possible that you are
referring to Miss Sylvia Vyne. Is that so?”
I replied sulkily that it was; and being somewhat nettled by this
unnecessary and rather offensive hair-splitting, offered no further
remark. How the conversation would have proceeded after this, I cannot
even surmise. But it did not proceed at all, for the embarrassing
silence was brought to an end by a very agreeable interruption. The
door opened softly and for one moment Sylvia herself stood framed in
the portal; then, with a little cry, she ran towards me with her hands
held out impulsively and the prettiest smile of welcome.
“So it is really you!” she exclaimed. “That silly little goose of a
maid has only just told me you were here. I _am_ glad to see you. When
did you graciously please to descend from the clouds?”
“I arrived home this afternoon, and as soon as I had changed and had
lunch I came here to report myself.”
“How nice of you,” said Sylvia. “I suppose you guessed how anxious we
should be?”
“I didn’t presume to think that you would actually be anxious about
me,” I replied, with a furtive eye on the waxwork, “though I knew that
you had been kind enough to express an interest in my fate.”
“What a cold-bloodedly polite way to put it!” laughed Sylvia.
“‘Express an interest,’ indeed! We were most dreadfully worried about
you.”
To a somewhat friendless man like myself this sympathetic warmth was
very delightful, and my pleasure was not appreciably damped when a
chill, emotionless voice affirmed:
“The use of the first person singular would, I think, be preferable.”
Sylvia turned on her aunt with mock ferocity.
“Well, really,” she exclaimed. “You are a dreadful impostor, Mopsy,
dear! Just listen to her, Dr. Jardine. And if you had only seen what a
twitter she was in as the time went on and no news came!”
I gasped, and the hair seemed to stir on my scalp. Mopsy! The name was
obviously not applied to me. But could it be--was it possible that
such a name could be associated with that terrific old lady? It was
inconceivable. It was positively profane! It was almost as if one
should presume to address the Deity as “old chap.” I could hardly
believe my ears.
I glanced at her nervously and caught her glittering eye; but the
grotesque face was as immovable as everlasting granite, though,
indeed, by some ventriloquial magic, the word “Rubbish” managed to
disengage itself from her person.
“It isn’t rubbish,” retorted Sylvia. “It’s the plain truth. We were
both worried to death about you. And no wonder. Dr. Thorndyke was very
quiet and matter-of-fact, but there was no disguising his fear that
something dreadful had happened to you. And then there was the
advertisement in the papers. Did you see that? Oh, it’s nothing to
grin about. You’ve given us all a nice fright; and me especially,
because, of course, I naturally thought of that ruffian from whom you
rescued me in the lane.”
“But he never saw me.”
“You don’t know. He may have done. At any rate, you owe us an
explanation; so, when the tea comes in you shall give us the true
story of your adventures. I hope you’ve let Dr. Thorndyke know about
your resurrection.”
I reassured her on this point, and as the “goose of a maid” now
brought in the tea, I proceeded to “pitch my yarn” as the skipper had
expressed it, without those reservations that I had considered
necessary in the case of Mrs. Blunt.
The old lady, having been unmasked by Sylvia, developed a slight
tendency to thaw. She even condescended, in a rigid and effigean
fashion, to consume bread and butter; a proceeding that seemed to me
weirdly incongruous, as though one should steal into the British
Museum in off hours and find the seated statue of Amenhotep the Third
in the act of refreshing itself with a sandwich and a glass of beer.
But I was less terrified of her now since I had gathered that a core
of warm humanity was somewhere concealed within that grim exterior;
and even though her little sparkling eyes were fixed on me immovably,
I told my story to the end without flinching.
Sylvia listened to my narration with a rapt attention that greatly
flattered my vanity and made me feel like a very Othello, and when I
had finished, she regarded me for awhile silently and with an air of
speculation.
“It’s a queer affair,” she said at length, “and there is a smack of
mystery and romance about it that is rather refreshing in these
commonplace days. But I don’t like it. Adventure is all very well, but
there seems to have been a deliberate attempt to make away with you;
unless you think it may have been a piece of silly horse-play that
went farther than it was meant to.”
“That is quite possible,” I replied untruthfully--for I didn’t think
anything of the sort, and only made this evasive answer to avoid
raising other and more delicate issues.
“I hope that is the explanation,” said Sylvia, “though it sounds
rather a lame one. You would know if you had an enemy who might wish
to get rid of you. I suppose you don’t know of any such person?”
It was a rather awkward question. I didn’t want to tell an untruth,
but, on the other hand, I knew that Thorndyke would not wish to have
my affairs discussed while his investigations were in progress; so I
“hedged” once more, replying, quite truthfully, that I was not
acquainted with anyone who bore me the slightest ill-will.
My adventures done with, the talk drifted into other channels and
presently came round to the little crucifix that had been the occasion
of Sylvia’s disagreeable experience in the lane. In spite of my
confusion, I had noticed, on first entering the room, that the old
lady was wearing suspended from her neck, a small enamelled crucifix,
and had instantly identified it and wondered not a little that she
should be thus disporting herself in borrowed ornaments; but when
Sylvia had arrived, behold, the original crucifix was hanging on its
chain from _her_ neck. From time to time during my recital my eyes had
wandered from one to the other seeking some difference or variation
but finding none, and at length my inquisitive glances caught the
younger lady’s attention.
“I can see, Dr. Jardine,” said she, “that you are eaten up with
curiosity about the crucifix that my Aunt is wearing. Now confess.
Aren’t you?”
“I am,” I admitted. “When I first came in I naturally thought it was
yours. Is it a copy?”
“Certainly not,” said Miss Vyne, the elder. “They are duplicates.”
Sylvia laughed. “You’d better not talk about copies,” said she. “My
aunt has only acquired her treasure lately, and she is as proud of it
as a peacock; aren’t you, dear?”
“The sensations of a peacock,” replied Miss Vyne, “are unknown to me.
I am very gratified at possessing the ornament.”
“Gratified indeed!” said Sylvia. “I consider such vanity most
unsuitable to a person of your age. But they _are_ very charming, and
there is quite a little story attached to them. My father and a cousin
of his--”
“By marriage,” interposed Miss Vyne.
“You needn’t insist on that,” said Sylvia, “as if poor old Vitalis
were a person to be ashamed of. Well, my father and this cousin were
at a Jesuit school in Belgium--at Louvain, in fact--and among the
teachers in the school was an Italian Jesuit named Giglioli. Now the
respected Giggley--”
“--oli,” interposed Miss Vyne in a severe voice.
“--oli,” continued Sylvia, “had formerly been a goldsmith; and the
Father Superior, with that keen eye to the main chance which you may
have noticed among professed religious, furnished him with a little
workshop and employed him in making monstrances, thuribles and church
plate in general. It was he who made these two crucifixes; and, with
the Father Superior’s consent, he gave one to my father and the other
to the cousin as parting gifts on their leaving school. As the boys
were inseparable friends, the two crucifixes were made absolute
duplicates of one another, with the single exception that each had the
owner’s name engraved on the back. When my poor father died his
crucifix became mine, and a short time ago, his cousin--who is now
getting an old man--took a fancy that he would like the two crucifixes
to be together once more and gave his to my aunt. So here they are,
after all these years, under one roof again.”
As she finished speaking, she detached the crucifix from her neck and,
having given it to me to examine, proceeded to remove its fellow from
the neck of the elder lady--who not only submitted quite passively but
seemed to be unaware of the transaction--and handed that to me also.
I laid them side by side in my palm and compared them, but could not
detect the slightest difference between them. They were complete
duplicates. Each was a Latin cross with trefoiled extremities, wrought
from a single piece of gold and enriched with champlevé enamel. The
body of the cross was filled with a ground of deep, translucent blue,
from which the figure stood out in rather low relief, and the space
between each of the trefoils was occupied by a single Greek
letter--Iota and Chi at the top and bottom respectively, and at the
ends of the horizontal arm Alpha and Omega. On turning them over, I
saw that the back of each bore an engraved inscription carried across
the horizontal arm, that on Sylvia’s reading: “A.M. Robertus, D.G.,”
while that on the other read: “A.M. Vitalis, D.G.”
“They are very charming little things,” I said, as I returned them to
Sylvia; “and it was a pretty idea of the old Jesuit to make them both
alike for the two friends. I suppose he didn’t make any more of them
for his other pupils?”
“What makes you ask that?” demanded Sylvia.
“I am thinking of that man in the lane. He must have had some reason
for claiming the crucifix as his, one would think; and as these are
quite unlike any ordinary commercial jewellery, the suggestion is that
the worthy Giglioli was tempted to repeat his successes. What do you
think?”
“I think,” said Miss Vyne, “that the suggestion is inadmissable.
Father Giglioli was an artist, and an artist does not repeat himself.”
“I am inclined to agree with my aunt,” said Sylvia. “An artist does
not care to repeat a design, excepting for a definite purpose, as in
the case of these duplicates; especially when the thing designed is
intended as a gift.”
To this I gave a somewhat qualified assent, though I found the
argument far from convincing; and, as I had made a very long
visitation, especially for a first call, I now rose to depart.
“I hope I may be allowed to come and see you again,” I ventured to say
as Miss Vyne raised a sort of semaphore arm to my extended hand.
“I see no reason why you should not,” she replied judicially. “You
seem to be a well-disposed young man, though indiscreet.
Good-afternoon.”
I bowed deferentially and then, to my gratification, was escorted as
far as the garden gate by Sylvia; who evidently wished to gather my
impressions of her relative, for, as she let me out, she asked with a
mischievous smile:
“What do you think of my aunt, Dr. Jardine?”
“She is rather a terrifying old lady,” I replied.
Sylvia giggled delightedly. “She does look an awful old griffin,
doesn’t she? But it’s all nonsense, you know. She is really a dear old
thing, and as soft as butter.”
“Well,” I said, “she conceals the fact most perfectly.”
“She does. She is a most complete impostor. I’ll tell you a secret,
Dr. Jardine,” Sylvia added in a mysterious whisper, as we shook hands
over the gate; “she trades on her nose. I’ve told her so. Her nose is
her fortune, and she plays it for all it’s worth. Good-bye--or rather,
au revoir! for you’ve promised to come and see us again.”
With a bright little nod she turned and ran up the garden path, still
chuckling softly at her joke; and I wended homewards, very well
pleased with the circumstances of my visit, despite the soul-shaking
incidents with which it had opened.