BLOOMSBURY
Mackenzie met her at the London terminus. She had seen no one she knew
either at the station at Bathgate or in the train. She was well dressed,
in a tailor-made coat and skirt and a pretty hat. She got out of a
first-class carriage and looked like a young woman of some social
importance, travelling alone for once in a way, but not likely to be
allowed to go about London alone when she reached the end of her
journey. She was quite composed as she saw Mackenzie's tall figure
coming towards her, and shook hands with him as if he were a mere
acquaintance.
"I have seen nobody I know," she said, and then immediately added, "I
must send a telegram to my mother. I can't leave her in anxiety for a
whole night."
He frowned, but not at her. "You can't do that," he said, "you don't
want the post-office people to know."
"I have thought of that. I will say 'Have come up to see Muriel. Writing
to-night.' It isn't true, but I will tell them afterwards why I did it."
"Will that satisfy them?"
"I am deceiving them anyhow."
"Oh, I don't mean that. Will they think it all right--your coming up to
your sister-in-law?"
"No, they will be very much surprised. But the post-office people will
not gather anything."
"They will wire at once to your brother. You had much better leave it
till to-morrow."
"No, I can't do that," she said. "I will wire just before eight o'clock.
Then a return wire will not go through before the morning."
"Yours might not get through to-night."
"Oh yes, it will. They would take it up to the house whatever time it
came."
"Very well," he said. "Now come along," and he hailed a hansom.
"Please don't think me tiresome," she said, when they were in the cab,
"but there is another thing I must do. I must write to my mother so that
she gets my letter the very first thing to-morrow morning."
He gave an exclamation of impatience. "You can't do that," he said
again. "The country mails have already gone."
"I can send a letter by train to Bathgate. I will send it to the hotel
there with a message that it is to be taken over to Kencote the first
thing in the morning."
"You are very resourceful. It may give them time to get on to our track,
before we are married."
"I have promised to marry you," she said simply. It was she who now
seemed bold, and not he.
"I don't see how they could get here in time," he said grudgingly.
"Graham only knows the address of my club, and they don't know there
where I live." He brightened up again. "Very well, my queen," he said,
smiling down at her. "You shall do what you like. Write your letter--let
it be a short one--when you get in, and we will send that and the wire
when we go out to dinner."
They drove to a dingy-looking house in one of the smaller squares of
Bloomsbury. During the short journey he became almost boisterous. All
the misgivings that had assailed her since they had last parted, the
alternate fits of courage and of frightened shrinking, had passed him
by. This was quite plain, and she was right in attributing his mood
partly to his joy in having won her, partly to his love of adventure. It
was an added pleasure to him to surmount obstacles in winning her. If
his wooing had run the ordinary course, the reason for half his
jubilation would have disappeared. She felt his strength, and,
woman-like, relinquished her own doubts and swayed to his mood.
"You have begun your life of adventure, little girl," he said,
imprisoning her slender hand in his great muscular one, and looking down
at her with pride in his eyes. She had an impulse of exhilaration, and
smiled back at him.
The rooms to which he took her, escorted by a middle-aged Scotswoman
with a grim face and a silent tongue, were on the first floor--a big
sitting-room, clean, but, to her eyes, inexpressibly dingy and
ill-furnished, and a bedroom behind folding doors.
"Mrs. Fletcher will give you your breakfast here," he said, "but we will
lunch and dine out. We will go out now and shop when you are ready."
She went into the bedroom and stood by the window. Fright had seized her
again. What was she doing here? The woman who had come from her dark,
downstairs dwelling-place to lead the way to these dreadful rooms, had
given her one glance but spoken no word. What must she think of her? She
could hear her replying in low monosyllables to Mackenzie's loud
instructions, through the folding doors.
Again the assurance and strength and determination which he exhaled came
to her aid. She had taken the great step, and must not shrink from the
consequences. He would look after her. She washed her hands and face--no
hot water had been brought to her--and went back to the sitting-room. "I
am hoping you will be comfortable here, miss," the woman said to her.
"You must ask for anything you want."
She did not smile, but her tone was respectful, and she looked at Cicely
with eyes not unfriendly. And, after all, the rooms were clean--for
London.
Mackenzie took her to a big shop in Holborn and stayed outside while she
made her purchases. She had not dared to bring with her even a small
hand-bag, and she had to buy paper on which to write her letter to her
mother.
"I lived in Mrs. Fletcher's rooms before I went to Tibet," Mackenzie
said as they went back to the house. "I tried to get them when I came
back--but no such luck. Fortunately they fell vacant on Saturday. We'll
keep them on for a bit after we're married. Must make ourselves
comfortable, you know."
She stole a glance at him. His face was beaming. She had thought he had
taken her to that dingy, unknown quarter as a temporary precaution.
Would he really expect her to make her home in such a place?
She wrote her letter to her mother at the table in the sitting-room.
Mrs. Fletcher had brought up a penny bottle of ink and a pen with a J
nib suffering from age. Mackenzie walked about the room as she wrote,
and it was difficult for her to collect her thoughts. She gave him the
note to read, with a pretty gesture of confidence. It was very short.
"My own darling Mother,--I have not come to London to see Muriel,
but to marry Ronald Mackenzie. I said what I did in my telegram
because of the post-office. I am very happy, and will write you a
long letter directly we are married.--Always your very loving
daughter,
"Cicely."
"Brave girl!" he said as he returned it to her.
She gave a little sob. "I wish I had not had to go away from her like
that," she said.
"Don't cry, little girl," he said kindly. "It was the only way."
She dried her eyes and sealed up the note. She had wondered more than
once since he had carried her off her feet why it was the only way.
They carried through the business of the letter and the telegram and
drove to a little French restaurant in Soho to dine. The upstairs room
was full of men and a few women, some French, more English. Everybody
stared at her as she entered, and she blushed hotly. And some of them
recognised Mackenzie and whispered his name. The men were mostly
journalists, of the more literary sort, one or two of them men of note,
if she had known it. But to her they looked no better than the class she
would have labelled vaguely as "people in shops." They were as different
as possible from her brothers and her brothers' friends, sleek,
well-dressed men with appropriate clothes for every occasion, and a
uniform for the serious observance of dinner which she had never
imagined a man without, except on an unavoidable emergency. She had
never once in her life dined in the same frock as she had worn during
the day and hardly ever in the company of men in morning clothes.
This cheap restaurant, where the food and cooking were good but the
appointments meagre, struck her as strangely as if she had been made to
eat in a kitchen. That it did not strike Mackenzie in that way was plain
from his satisfaction at having introduced her to it. "Just as good food
here as at the Carlton or the Savoy," he said inaccurately, "at about a
quarter of the price; and no fuss in dressing-up!"
She enjoyed it rather, after a time. There was a sense of adventure in
dining in such a place, even in dining where nobody had thought of
dressing, although dressing for dinner was not one of the conventions
she had wished to run away from; it was merely a habit of cleanliness
and comfort. Mackenzie talked to her incessantly in a low voice--they
were sitting at a little table in a corner, rather apart from the rest.
He talked of his travels, and fascinated her; and every now and then,
when he seemed furthest away, his face would suddenly soften and he
would put in a word of encouragement or gratitude to her. She felt proud
of having the power to make such a man happy. They were comrades, and
she wanted to share his life. At present it seemed to be enough for him
to talk to her. He had not as yet made any demand on her for a return of
confidence. In fact, she had scarcely spoken a word to him, except in
answer to speech of his. He had won her and seemed now to take her
presence for granted. He had not even told her what arrangements he had
made for their marriage, or where it was to be; nor had he alluded in
any way to the course of their future life or travels, except in the
matter of Mrs. Fletcher's room in Bloomsbury.
"When are we going to Tibet again?" She asked him the question point
blank, as they were drinking their coffee, and Mackenzie was smoking a
big briar pipe filled with strong tobacco.
He stared at her in a moment's silence. Then he laughed. "Tibet!" he
echoed. "Oh, I think now I shan't be going to Tibet for some months. But
I shall be taking you abroad somewhere before then. However, there will
be plenty of time to talk of all that." Then he changed the subject.
He drove her back to her rooms and went upstairs with her. It was about
half-past nine o'clock. "I have to go and meet a man at the Athenaeum at
ten," he said. "Hang it! But I will stay with you for a quarter of an
hour, and I dare say you won't be sorry to turn in early."
He sat himself down in a shabby armchair on one side of the fireless
grate. He was still smoking his big pipe. Cicely stood by the table.
He looked up at her. "Take off your hat," he said, "I want to see your
beautiful hair. It was the first thing I noticed about you."
She obeyed, with a blush. He smiled his approval. "Those soft waves," he
said, "and the gold in it! You are a beautiful girl, my dear. I can tell
you I shall be very proud of you. I shall want to show you about
everywhere."
He hitched his chair towards her and took hold of her hand. "Do you
think you are going to love me a little bit?" he asked.
She blushed again, and looked down. Then she lifted her eyes to his. "I
don't think you know quite what you have made me do," she said.
He dropped her hand. "Do you regret it?" he asked sharply.
She did not answer his question, but her eyes still held his. "I have
never been away from home in my life," she said, "without my father or
mother. Now I have left them without a word, to come to you. You seem to
take that quite as a matter of course."
The tears came into her eyes, although she looked at him steadily. He
sprang up from his chair and put his hand on her shoulder. "My poor
little girl!" he said, "you feel it. Of course you feel it. You've
behaved like a heroine, but you've had to screw up your courage. I don't
want you to think of all that. That is why I haven't said anything about
it. You mustn't break down."
But she had broken down, and she wept freely, while he put his arm round
her and comforted her as he might have comforted a child. Presently her
sobbing ceased. "You are very kind to me," she said. "But you won't keep
me away from my own people, will you--after--after----"
"After we are married? God bless me, no. And they won't be angry with
you--at least, not for long. Don't fear that. Leave it all to me. We
shall be married to-morrow. I've arranged everything."
"You have not told me a word about that," she said forlornly.
"I didn't mean to tell you a word until to-morrow came," he said. "You
are not to brood."
"You mean to rush me into everything," she said. "If I am to be the
companion to you that I want to be, you ought to take me into your
confidence."
"Why, there!" he said, "I believe I ought. You're brave. You're not like
other girls. You can imagine that I have had a busy day. I have a
special license, signed by no less a person than the Archbishop of
Canterbury. Think of that! And we are going to be married in a church. I
knew you would like that; and I like it better too. You see I have been
thinking of you all the time. Now you mustn't worry any more." He patted
her hand. "Go to bed and get a good sleep. I'll come round at ten
o'clock to-morrow morning, and we're to be married at eleven. Then a new
life begins, and by the Lord I'll make it a happy one for you. Come,
give me a smile before I go."
She had no difficulty in doing that now. He took her chin in his
fingers, turned her face up to his and looked into her eyes earnestly.
Then he left her.
She had finished her breakfast, which had been cleared away, when he
came in to her the next morning. She was sitting in a chair by the empty
grate with her hands in her lap, and she looked pale.
Mackenzie had on a frock coat, and laid a new silk hat and a new pair of
gloves on the table as he greeted her with unsentimental cheerfulness.
"Will you sit down?" she said, regarding him with serious eyes. "I want
to ask you some questions."
He threw a shrewd glance at her. "Ask away," he said in the same loud,
cheerful tone, and took his seat opposite to her, carefully disposing of
the skirts of his coat, which looked too big even for his big frame.
"I have been thinking a great deal," she said. "I want to know exactly
what my life is to be if I marry you."
"_If_ you marry me!" he took up her words. "You _are_ going to marry
me."
"You said something last night," she went on, "which I didn't quite
understand at the time; and I am not sure that you meant me to. Are you
going to take me with you to Tibet, and on your other journeys, or do
you want to leave me behind--here?" There was a hint of the distaste she
felt for her surroundings in the slight gesture that accompanied the
last word. But she looked at him out of clear, blue, uncompromising
eyes.
He did not return her look. "Here?" he echoed, looking round him with
some wonder. "What is the matter with this?"
"Then you do mean to leave me here."
"Look here, my dear," he said, looking at her now. "I am not going to
take you to Tibet, or on any of my big journeys. I never had the
slightest intention of doing so, and never meant you to think I had. A
pretty thing if I were to risk the life of the one most precious to me,
as well as my own, in such journeys as I take!"
"Then what about me?" asked Cicely. "What am I to do while you are away,
risking your own life, as you say, and away perhaps for two or three
years together?"
"Would you be very anxious for me?" he asked her, with a tender look,
but she brushed the question aside impatiently.
"I am to live alone, while you go away," she said, "live just as dull a
life as I did before, only away from my own people, and without anything
that made my life pleasant in spite of its dulness. Is that what you are
offering me?"
"No, no," he said, trying to soothe her. "I want you to live in the
sweetest little country place. We'll find one together. You needn't stay
here a minute longer than you want to, though when we are in London
together it will be convenient. I want to think of you amongst your
roses, and to come back to you and forget all the loneliness and
hardships. I want a home, and you in it, the sweetest wife ever a man
had."
"I don't want that," she said at once. "You are offering me nothing that
I didn't have before, and I left it all to come to you--to share the
hardships and--and--I would take away the loneliness."
"You are making too much of my big journeys," he broke in on her
eagerly. "That is the trouble. Now listen to me. I shall be starting for
Tibet in March, and----"
"Did you know that when you told me you were going in a fortnight?" she
interrupted him.
"Let me finish," he said, holding up his hand. "It is settled now that I
am going to Tibet in March, and I shan't be away for more than a year.
Until then we will travel together. I want to go to Switzerland almost
directly to test some instruments. You will come with me, and you can
learn to climb. I don't mind that sort of hardship for you. At the end
of October we will go to America. I hadn't meant to go, but I want money
now--for you--and I can get it there. That's business; and for pleasure
we will go anywhere you like--Spain, Algiers, Russia--Riviera, if you
like, though I don't care for that sort of thing. When I go to Tibet
I'll leave you as mistress of a little house that you may be proud of,
and you'll wait for me there. When I get back we'll go about together
again, and as far as I can see I shan't have another big job to tackle
for some time after that--a year, perhaps two years, perhaps more."
She was silent for a moment, thinking. "Come now," he said, "that's not
stagnation. Is it?"
"No," she said unwillingly. "But it isn't what I came to you for." She
raised her eyes to his. "You know it isn't what I came to you for."
His face grew a little red. "You came to me," he said in a slower,
deeper voice, looking her straight in the eyes, "because I wanted you. I
want you now and I mean to have you. I want you as a wife. I will keep
absolutely true to you. You will be the only woman in the world to me.
But my work is my work. You will have no more say in that than I think
good for you. You will come with me wherever I think well to take you,
and I shall be glad enough to have you. Otherwise you will stay behind
and look after my home--and, I hope, my children."
Her face was a deep scarlet. She knew now what this marriage meant to
him. What it had meant to her, rushing into it so blindly, seemed a
foolish, far off thing. Her strongest feeling was a passionate desire
for her mother's presence. She was helpless, alone with this man, from
whom she felt a revulsion that almost overpowered her.
He sat for a full minute staring at her downcast face, his mouth firmly
set, a slight frown on his brows.
"Come now," he said more roughly. "You don't really know what you want.
But I know. Trust me, and before God, I will make you happy."
She hid her face in her hands. "Oh, I want to go home," she cried.
He shifted in his chair. The lines of his face did not relax. He must
set himself to master this mood. He knew he had the power, and he must
exercise it once for all. The mood must not recur again, or if it did it
must not be shown to him.
And there is no doubt at all that he would have mastered it. But as he
opened his mouth to speak, Cicely sitting there in front of him, crying,
with a white face and strained eyes, there were voices on the stairs,
the door opened, and Dick and Jim Graham came into the room.