THE LONDON LAWYER.
London is probably the most expensive place to do business in the world.
Its business men are conservative, so conservative that they would not
for the world part their hair in any way differing from their fathers,
nor would they adopt a modern convenience unless it were absolutely
necessary to the maintenance of English supremacy, and they would sigh
as they parted with an old nuisance for a modern delight. Their
professions have all got into ruts from which you can no more move them
than you can the Pyramids, and their practices are so established that
they may and do do as they please, without regard to the notions of any
body.
An American resident in London bargained for a house, and the lease had
to be transferred. Now in any country where a common school exists
almost anybody can assign a lease, but not so here. A solicitor had to
be employed, and afterward a contract long enough to cover a sheet of
legal paper had to be drawn up. It was a very plain matter--forty words
would have been sufficient. But a solicitor must be employed
nevertheless. How much do you suppose it cost Mr. Foote to have this
trifle of work done? As a matter of instruction to the American people
and for the benefit of American lawyers, who are too modest in their
charges, and I am now convinced that the majority of them are, I make a
partial copy of the solicitor's bill, as it is a more interesting
document than anything that I can write. Here it is:
[Sidenote: THE SOLICITOR'S BILL.]
W. M. FOOTE, ESQ.,
_To_ BLANK, BLANK, SOLICITOR.
_Re_ STAR OF THE WEST.
PRIOR TO YOURSELF.
Clerk attending at Messrs. Ingram's (Vendor's Solicitors), for £. s. p.
draft proposed contract 6 8
Procuring and considering and found same objectionable 6 8
Instructions for contract 6 8
Drawing same, folios twenty 1 11 1
Engrossing in two parts 1 3
Writing Messrs. Ingram with one part 3 6
Writing Mr. Challer for schedule of fixtures to answer to contract 3 6
Same as to appointment for Monday 3 6
Drawing telegram and attending to forward and paid 7 8
Attending you, and then at Messrs. Ingram, engaged a considerable
time going through deed and documents, etc., and settling
contracts and signing 3 0
Writing your hereon, fully 6 8
Instructions for registration on title 6 8
Drawing same 12 0
Engrossing 4 0
Attending to deliver 6 8
Replying to your letter 3 6
Attending appointing conference 6 8
Engrossing papers, leases and covenants 1 10 0
Attending Dr. Thomson therewith 6 8
Fee to him and clerk 1 3 6
Paid conference fee 1 6 0
Attending conference and cab hire 13 4
Perusing his opinion 1 0 0
Writing you with copy Dr. Thomson's opinion 6 8
Making copy of schedule and fixtures 5 6
Waiting upon Messrs. Ingram with same 3 6
Perusing abstract 2 10 6
Writing with appointment to examine deeds with abstract 3 6
Attending examining deeds with abstract, self and clerk 2 2 0
Attending searching liquidation proceedings of Arthur Coleman
and paid 14 4
As this remarkable document extends over four and a half pages of
foolscap paper I will not give it all. However, there are some other
charges worthy of going upon record. For instance this item:
A replying to your letter 3 6
And this:
Attending you long conference, and you left cheque for purchase
money 13 4 0
Writing you fully 3 6
Attending appointing conference 3 6
The entire bill footed up forty-two pounds, fourteen shillings and ten
pence, which, reduced to bird of freedom money amounts to about two
hundred and twenty-five dollars.
And all this for transferring a lease from one party to another, about
which operation there couldn't be the slightest trouble, except as the
two attorneys made it.
Doubtless the Messrs. Ingram and Dr. Thomson, whatever he had to do with
it, put in a similar bill against their clients, so both sides had a
very good thing of it.
But this was not all there was of it. It was necessary that Mr. Foote
should have a little article of agreement with Mr. Welch, his manager,
not that there was any especial need for it, but as a mere matter of
form, as we say when we want a sure thing on somebody. The same attorney
was employed to do this, in fact he suggested it and did it before this
bill was presented.
[Illustration: THE LONDON LAWYER.]
[Sidenote: MR. FOOTE'S EXPERIENCE.]
The bill for this service is precisely like the other. There are items
for "attendance," for "preparing telegrams," for "waiting, self and
clerk," for "instructions," and so on, the amount charged for preparing
an article of agreement being eight pounds sterling.
The attorney's fees for the whole of this trifling piece of business
footed up exactly seventy-two pounds sterling, or three hundred and
sixty dollars.
"What do these items mean?" I asked Mr. Foote.
"Well, the items for attendance mean that I went to his office and told
him in three minutes' time what I wanted, and he made minutes with a
pencil."
"The clerk?"
"Oh, they never go anywhere without a clerk. His business is to carry a
green bag with nothing in it, and look like an umpire. All the writing
of letters, for which he relentlessly charged three shillings and
sixpence each, was totally unnecessary, as they related to matters of
which I fully informed him at the beginning. But he was the most
industrious letter writer I ever saw. And I would answer his letters
like an idiot, and he charged for replying to mine, and then he would
write again and charge for that, and so on. And when he couldn't
decently write another letter, he would telegraph me and charge for
that, and--well, if I had taken two leases I shouldn't have been through
till this time."
"Did you pay it?"
"Pay it? Of course I did. To have resisted would have been ruin. He
would have sued me, and I should have had to have employed another
attorney, and the case would have gone into the courts, after about a
thousand instructions, conferences, letters, and telegrams, and clerks,
and all that, from him--the same as this--and it would have dragged
along, with more clerks, and letters, and telegrams, till the crack o'
doom. Instead of bills of four pages I should have had bills of forty,
and then there would have been money to be paid on account, and bail,
and the Lord only knows what. A law suit in London means ruin to
everybody but the lawyers and officers of the court. And in the end I
should have been compelled to pay it, for the courts take care of the
attorneys. And, after all, he only made the regular charges that every
London lawyer does. Indeed, as he omitted twice to charge three and six
pence for bidding me good morning, I don't know but that he is rather
liberal than otherwise. I think," said Mr. Foote, reflectively, "that
three times he shook my hand, and I find no charge for that. On the
whole, he is a tolerable fair lawyer to do business with."
"Tell me all about him."
"He is one of say twenty thousand lawyers in London who get a case like
this, occasionally. He occupies "chambers," as they call their offices,
and keeps a clerk, as they all have to, to ever expect any business, as
a lawyer without a clerk would have no standing. The clerk spends most
of his time eating ham sandwiches, having nothing else to do, except
when his employer gets a man like myself on a string, on which occasion
he follows him about carrying a bag which is supposed to contain papers
of great moment. My lease was all that was in that bag for a month or
more. He lives well all the time, for no matter how poor he may be, or
how little business he has, he must live well for the sake of
appearance. Finally he does get the management of a good estate, and is
fixed for life. An Englishman reposes confidence in his solicitor, and
would no more think of disputing a charge made by him than he would of
heading a rebellion. They are doubtless a very nice lot, but the less
you have to do with them the better. A little of them go a long way.
Dispute his bill, not I. I don't want to make England a permanent
residence, for I hope to get back to America some time, and a law suit
would keep me here all my life, provided I had money enough to pay fees
and costs. They'll hold on you as long as you've a penny."
That Mr. Foote did not exaggerate, I know. Had I supposed he had been
exaggerating I should not have written this. But I copied this bill from
the original, which was receipted by the attorney, who, doubtless,
sighed as he wrote his name, that some mistake had not occurred which
made litigation necessary.