It is rumoured that the Press campaign against young men of military age
engaged in Government offices is causing some of them many sleepless
days.
***
A correspondent writes to an evening paper to say that by his
thermometer the recent heat was a record for the year. We suppose it is
due to the example of the Censor in the matter of the Folkestone raid
that nobody appears to be able to keep a secret.
***
"A movement is on foot," says a contemporary, "to present the Italian
nation with a monument to SHAKSPEARE, to be erected in Rome." The
alternative of despatching Mr. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW to become a
naturalized Italian does not appear to have been so well received.
***
Lord COWDRAY recently presided at a lecture on "Flying after the War."
Most people will be content to wait till it comes by again.
***
Mr. KENNEDY JONES has declared that beer is a food. This should have a
salutary effect on those who have hitherto mistakenly regarded it as a
pigment.
***
An artist has been arrested under the Defence of the Realm Act for
sketching on the East Coast without permission. It is dangerous in these
times to be caught mapping.
***
A contemporary complains that German officers at a South of England
Prisoners' Camp are being driven to the dentist in motor cars. We also
hold the opinion that these reprisals do more harm than good.
***
A controversy has recently been raging on the question of whether
trousers will survive the War. The better opinion seems to be that a few
exceptionally stout pairs at present in their infancy may be still
extant when peace is actually declared.
***
The sudden and dramatic conclusion of the ROMNEY case was a great
disappointment to many theatrical experts. They had predicted that it
would run for at least as short a period as most of the other recent
West-End revues.
***
The want of co-ordination between our Ministries becomes daily more
marked. It is an offence to keep a stray dog more than three days, but,
on the other hand, a sausage roll may be kept any length of time
provided it is sealed up at both ends.
***
The report comes from a German source that the resignation of Count
TISZA was procured by Marshal VON HINDENBURG. It is a curious commentary
on the fickleness of the multitude that the KAISER isn't even mentioned
as having taken a hand in the matter.
***
A branch of the Pan-German League has decided that Germany must not
conclude peace until the whole of the British Empire is annexed by the
KAISER. It is the sincere hope of the ALL-HIGHEST that the British
Empire will understand that in this matter his hand has been forced.
***
Dealing with the United States Navy, an American journalist says that
every recruit must learn to stand squarely on his own feet. The
attention of Mr. CHARLES CHAPLIN has already been drawn to this passage.
***
Sir HERBERT TREE has arrived in England, and, according to _The New York
Telegraph_, Mr. CHARLES CHAPLIN is now demanding a higher price for his
work.
***
A strange case is reported from Northumberland, where a man who was
taken ill last weak admitted that he had not been eating rhubarb tops.
***
With reference to the complaint of an allotment-holder that cats cause
more damage than the pea weevil, a correspondent sends the following
hint as to the treatment of cats on the allotment: "These should be
sprayed with a good shot-gun and planted out in soft soil."
***
Leading provision-merchants state that there will soon be cheese-queues
outside the grocers' shops. One enterprising firm of multiple shop
grocers is said to have already engaged a troupe of performing cheeses
to keep the customers amused during the long wait.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE FATAL LURE.]
* * * * *
New Combination Head-gear for Troops.
"Service dress caps in wear and those in stock will be used up and
worn side by side with the soft caps."--_Army Council Instruction
No_. 824.
* * * * *
"To a school in Battersea to-day the High Commissioner for New
Zealand presented an Australian flag sent by the school-children of
Dunedin."--_Evening News._
The children of Dunedin seem to have accepted in a very excellent spirit
the annexation of New Zealand by Australia, of which this is the first
news to reach us.
* * * * *
"The Germans wore absolutely dismayed at the promptness of
President Wilson's rupture of relations. Then followed an amazing
attempt to brow-beat Mr. Gerard into singing a revised version of
the Prusso-American Treaty of 1799."--_Planters' and Commercial
Gazette_ (_Mauritius_).
Happily Mr. GERARD refused to oblige.
* * * * *
"The annual report of the Kneckenmüller Lunatic Asylum at Stettin
states that a number of lunatics have been called up for military
service at the front, adding: 'The asylums are proud that their
inmates are allowed to serve the Fatherland.' It appears, however,
that the results are not always satisfactory."--_The Times_.
We have heard of no complaints on our side.
* * * * *
"Meat, particularly mutton, is (says 'The Times') likely to remain
dead this week-end."
_Lancashire Daily Post_.