A thirst for some knowledge of philosophy resulted in consulting Dr.
Letamendi's book on pathology during my student days. I also purchased
the works of Kant, Fichte, and Schopenhauer in the cheap editions which
were published by Zozaya. The first of these that I read was Fichte's
_Science of Knowledge_, of which I understood nothing. It stirred
in me a veritable indignation against both author and translator. Was
philosophy nothing but mystification, as it is assumed to be by artists
and shop clerks?
Reading _Parerga and Paralipomena_ reconciled me to philosophy.
After that I bought in French _The Critique of Pure Reason_, _The
World as Will and Idea_, and a number of other books.
How was it that I, who am gifted with but little tenacity of purpose,
mustered up perseverance enough to read difficult books for which I was
without preparation? I do not know, but the fact is that I read them.
Years after this initiation into philosophy, I began reading the works
of Nietzsche, which impressed me greatly.
Since then I have picked at this and that in order to renew my
philosophic store, but without success. Some books and authors will not
agree with me, and I have not dared to venture others. I have had a
volume of Hegel's _Logic_ on my table for a long time. I have
looked at it, I have smelled of it, but courage fails me.
Yet I am attracted to metaphysics more than to any other phase of
philosophy. Political philosophy, sociology and the common sense schools
please me least. Hobbes, Locke, Bentham, Comte and Spencer I have never
liked at all. Even their Utopias, which ought to be amusing, bore me
profoundly, and this has been true from Plato's _Republic_ to
Kropotkin's _Conquest of Bread_ and Wells's _A Modern Utopia_.
Nor could I ever become interested in the pseudo-philosophy of
anarchism. One of the books which have disappointed me the most is Max
Stirner's _Ego and His Own_.
Psychology is a science which I should like to know. I have therefore
skimmed through the standard works of Wundt and Ziehen. After reading
them, I came to the conclusion that the psychology which I am seeking,
day by day and every day, is not to be found in these treatises. It is
contained rather in the writings of Nietzsche and the novels of
Dostoievski. In the course of time, I may succeed, perhaps, in entering
the more abstract domains of the science.