Some years ago, I cannot say just how many, probably twelve or fourteen,
during the days when I led, or thought I led, a nomadic life, happening
to be in San Sebastian, I went to visit the Museum with the painter
Regoyos. After seeing everything, Soraluce, the director, indicated that
I was expected to inscribe my name in the visitor's register, and after
I had done so, he said:
"Place your titles beneath."
"Titles!" I exclaimed. "I have none."
"Then put down what you are. As you see, the others have done the same."
I looked at the book. True enough; there was one signature, So-and-So,
and beneath, "Chief of Administration of the Third Class and Knight of
Charles III"; another, Somebody Else, and beneath was written "Commander
of the Battalion of Isabella the Catholic, with the Cross of Maria
Cristina."
Then, perhaps slightly irritated at having neither titles nor honours
(burning with an anarchistic and Christian rancour, as Nietzsche would
have it), I jotted down a few casual words beneath my signature:
"Pío Baroja, a humble man and a wanderer."
Regoyos read them and burst out laughing.
"What an idea!" exclaimed the director of the Museum, as he closed the
volume.
And there I remained a humble man and a wanderer, overshadowed by Chiefs
of Administration of all Classes, Commanders of all Branches of the
Service, Knights of all kinds of Crosses, rich men returned from
America, bankers, etc., etc.
Am I a humble man and a wanderer? Not a bit of it! There is more
literary phantasy in the phrase than there is truth. Of humility I do
not now, nor have I ever possessed more than a few rather Buddhistic
fragments; nor am I a wanderer either, for making a few insignificant
journeys does not authorize one to call oneself a wanderer. Just as I
put myself down at that time as a humble man and a wanderer, so I might
call myself today a proud and sedentary person. Perhaps both
characterizations contain some degree of truth; and perhaps there is
nothing in either.
When a man scrutinizes himself very closely, he arrives at a point where
he does not know what is face and what is mask.