This way lie safety and a sure retreat;
Yonder lie danger, shame, and punishment
Most welcome danger then--Nay, let me say,
Though spoke with swelling heart--welcome e'en shame
And welcome punishment--for, call me guilty,
I do but pay the tax that's due to justice;
And call me guiltless, then that punishment
Is shame to those alone who do inflict it,
_The Tribunal_.
We left Lord Glenvarloch, to whose fortunes our story chiefly attaches
itself, gliding swiftly down the Thames. He was not, as the reader may
have observed, very affable in his disposition, or apt to enter into
conversation with those into whose company he was casually thrown. This
was, indeed, an error in his conduct, arising less from pride, though
of that feeling we do not pretend to exculpate him, than from a sort of
bashful reluctance to mix in the conversation of those with whom he was
not familiar. It is a fault only to be cured by experience and knowledge
of the world, which soon teaches every sensible and acute person the
important lesson, that amusement, and, what is of more consequence,
that information and increase of knowledge, are to be derived from the
conversation of every individual whatever, with whom he is thrown into
a natural train of communication. For ourselves, we can assure the
reader--and perhaps if we have ever been able to afford him amusement,
it is owing in a great degree to this cause--that we never found
ourselves in company with the stupidest of all possible companions in a
post-chaise, or with the most arrant cumber-corner that ever occupied
a place in the mail-coach, without finding, that, in the course of our
conversation with him, we had some ideas suggested to us, either grave
orgay, or some information communicated in the course of our journey,
which we should have regretted not to have learned, and which we should
be sorry to have immediately forgotten. But Nigel was somewhat immured
within the Bastile of his rank, as some philosopher (Tom Paine, we
think) has happily enough expressed that sort of shyness which men of
dignified situations are apt to be beset with, rather from not exactly
knowing how far, or with whom, they ought to be familiar, than from any
real touch of aristocratic pride. Besides, the immediate pressure of
our adventurer's own affairs was such as exclusively to engross his
attention.
He sat, therefore, wrapt in his cloak, in the stern of the boat, with
his mind entirely bent upon the probable issue of the interview with his
Sovereign, which it was his purpose to seek; for which abstraction of
mind he may be fully justified, although perhaps, by questioning
the watermen who were transporting him down the river, he might have
discovered matters of high concernment to him.
At any rate, Nigel remained silent till the wherry approached the
town of Greenwich, when he commanded the men to put in for the nearest
landing-place, as it was his purpose to go ashore there, and dismiss
them from further attendance.
"That is not possible," said the fellow with the green jacket, who, as
we have already said, seemed to take on himself the charge of pilotage.
"We must go," he continued, "to Gravesend, where a Scottish vessel,
which dropped down the river last tide for the very purpose, lies
with her anchor a-peak, waiting to carry you to your own dear northern
country. Your hammock is slung, and all is ready for you, and you talk
of going ashore at Greenwich, as seriously as if such a thing were
possible!"
"I see no impossibility," said Nigel, "in your landing me where I desire
to be landed; but very little possibility of your carrying me anywhere I
am not desirous of going."
"Why, whether do you manage the wherry, or we, master?" asked
Green-jacket, in a tone betwixt jest and earnest; "I take it she will go
the way we row her."
"Ay," retorted Nigel, "but I take it you will row her on the course I
direct you, otherwise your chance of payment is but a poor one."
"Suppose we are content to risk that," said the undaunted waterman, "I
wish to know how you, who talk so big--I mean no offence, master, but
you do talk big--would help yourself in such a case?"
"Simply thus," answered Lord Glenvarloch--"You saw me, an hour since,
bring down to the boat a trunk that neither of you could lift. If we are
to contest the destination of our voyage, the same strength which
tossed that chest into the wherry, will suffice to fling you out of it;
wherefore, before we begin the scuffle, I pray you to remember, that,
whither I would go, there I will oblige you to carry me."
"Gramercy for your kindness," said Green-jacket; "and now mark me in
return. My comrade and I are two men--and you, were you as stout as
George-a-Green, can pass but for one; and two, you will allow, are more
than a match for one. You mistake in your reckoning, my friend."
"It is you who mistake," answered Nigel, who began to grow warm; "it is
I who am three to two, sirrah--I carry two men's lives at my girdle."
So saying, he opened his cloak and showed the two pistols which he had
disposed at his girdle. Green-jacket was unmoved at the display.
"I have got," said he, "a pair of barkers that will match yours," and he
showed that he also was armed with pistols; "so you may begin as soon as
you list."
"Then," said Lord Glenvarloch, drawing forth and cocking a pistol,
"the sooner the better. Take notice, I hold you as a ruffian, who have
declared you will put force on my person; and that I will shoot you
through the head if you do not instantly put me ashore at Greenwich."
The other waterman, alarmed at Nigel's gesture, lay upon his oar; but
Green-jacket replied coolly--"Look you, master, I should not care a
tester to venture a life with you on this matter; but the truth is, I am
employed to do you good, and not to do you harm."
"By whom are you employed?" said the Lord Glenvarloch; "or who dare
concern themselves in me, or my affairs, without my authority?"
"As to that," answered the waterman, in the same tone of indifference,
"I shall not show my commission. For myself, I care not, as I said,
whether you land at Greenwich to get yourself hanged, or go down to get
aboard the Royal Thistle, to make your escape to your own country; you
will be equally out of my reach either way. But it is fair to put the
choice before you."
"My choice is made," said Nigel. "I have told you thrice already it is
my pleasure to be landed at Greenwich."
"Write it on a piece of paper," said the waterman, "that such is your
positive will; I must have something to show to my employers, that the
transgression of their orders lies with yourself, not with me."
"I choose to hold this trinket in my hand for the present," said Nigel,
showing his pistol, "and will write you the acquittance when I go
ashore."
"I would not go ashore with you for a hundred pieces," said the
waterman. "Ill luck has ever attended you, except in small gaming; do me
fair justice, and give me the testimony I desire. If you are afraid of
foul play while you write it, you may hold my pistols, if you will." He
offered the weapons to Nigel accordingly, who, while they were under
his control, and all possibility of his being taken at disadvantage was
excluded, no longer hesitated to give the waterman an acknowledgment, in
the following terms:--
"Jack in the Green, with his mate, belonging to the wherry called
the Jolly Raven, have done their duty faithfully by me, landing me
at Greenwich by my express command; and being themselves willing and
desirous to carry me on board the Royal Thistle, presently lying at
Gravesend." Having finished this acknowledgment, which he signed
with the letters, N. O. G. as indicating his name and title, he again
requested to know of the waterman, to whom he delivered it, the name of
his employers.
"Sir," replied Jack in the Green, "I have respected your secret, do not
you seek to pry into mine. It would do you no good to know for whom I
am taking this present trouble; and, to be brief, you shall not know
it--and, if you will fight in the quarrel, as you said even now, the
sooner we begin the better. Only this you may be cock-sure of, that we
designed you no harm, and that, if you fall into any, it will be of your
own wilful seeking." As he spoke, they approached the landing-place,
where Nigel instantly jumped ashore. The waterman placed his small
mail-trunk on the stairs, observing that there were plenty of spare
hands about, to carry it where he would.
"We part friends, I hope, my lads," said the young nobleman, offering at
the same time a piece of money more than double the usual fare, to the
boatmen.
"We part as we met," answered Green-jacket; "and, for your money, I am
paid sufficiently with this bit of paper. Only, if you owe me any love
for the cast I have given you, I pray you not to dive so deep into the
pockets of the next apprentice that you find fool enough to play the
cavalier.--And you, you greedy swine," said he to his companion, who
still had a longing eye fixed on the money which Nigel continued to
offer, "push off, or, if I take a stretcher in hand, I'll break the
knave's pate of thee." The fellow pushed off, as he was commanded, but
still could not help muttering, "This was entirely out of waterman's
rules."
Glenvarloch, though without the devotion of the "injured Thales" of the
moralist, to the memory of that great princess, had now attained
"The hallow'd soil which gave Eliza birth,"
whose halls were now less respectably occupied by her successor. It was
not, as has been well shown by a late author, that James was void either
of parts or of good intentions; and his predecessor was at least as
arbitrary in effect as he was in theory. But, while Elizabeth possessed
a sternness of masculine sense and determination which rendered even her
weaknesses, some of which were in themselves sufficiently ridiculous, in
a certain degree respectable, James, on the other hand, was so utterly
devoid of "firm resolve," so well called by the Scottish bard,
"The stalk of carle-hemp in man,"
that even his virtues and his good meaning became laughable, from the
whimsical uncertainty of his conduct; so that the wisest things he ever
said, and the best actions he ever did, were often touched with a strain
of the ludicrous and fidgety character of the man. Accordingly, though
at different periods of his reign he contrived to acquire with his
people a certain degree of temporary popularity, it never long outlived
the occasion which produced it; so true it is, that the mass of mankind
will respect a monarch stained with actual guilt, more than one whose
foibles render him only ridiculous.
To return from this digression, Lord Glenvarloch soon received, as
Green-jacket had assured him, the offer of an idle bargeman to transport
his baggage where he listed; but that where was a question of momentary
doubt. At length, recollecting the necessity that his hair and beard
should be properly arranged before he attempted to enter the royal
presence, and desirous, at the same time, of obtaining some information
of the motions of the Sovereign and of the Court, he desired to be
guided to the next barber's shop, which we have already mentioned as
the place where news of every kind circled and centred. He was speedily
shown the way to such an emporium of intelligence, and soon found he was
likely to hear all he desired to know, and much more, while his head was
subjected to the art of a nimble tonsor, the glibness of whose tongue
kept pace with the nimbleness of his fingers while he ran on, without
stint or stop, in the following excursive manner:--
"The Court here, master?--yes, master--much to the advantage of
trade--good custom stirring. His Majesty loves Greenwich--hunts every
morning in the Park--all decent persons admitted that have the entries
of the Palace--no rabble--frightened the king's horse with their
hallooing, the uncombed slaves.--Yes, sir, the beard more peaked?
Yes, master, so it is worn. I know the last cut--dress several of the
courtiers--one valet-of-the-chamber, two pages of the body, the clerk
of the kitchen, three running footmen, two dog-boys, and an honourable
Scottish knight, Sir Munko Malgrowler."
"Malagrowther, I suppose?" said Nigel, thrusting in his conjectural
emendation, with infinite difficulty, betwixt two clauses of the
barber's text.
"Yes, sir--Malcrowder, sir, as you say, sir--hard names the Scots have,
sir, for an English mouth. Sir Munko is a handsome person, sir--perhaps
you know him--bating the loss of his fingers, and the lameness of his
leg, and the length of his chin. Sir, it takes me one minute, twelve
seconds, more time to trim that chin of his, than any chin that I know
in the town of Greenwich, sir. But he is a very comely gentleman,
for all that; and a pleasant--a very pleasant gentleman, sir--and a
good-humoured, saving that he is so deaf he can never hear good of
any one, and so wise, that he can never believe it; but he is a very
good-natured gentleman for all that, except when one speaks too low, or
when a hair turns awry.--Did I graze you, sir? We shall put it to rights
in a moment, with one drop of styptic--my styptic, or rather my wife's,
sir--She makes the water herself. One drop of the styptic, sir, and a
bit of black taffeta patch, just big enough to be the saddle to a flea,
sir--Yes, sir, rather improves than otherwise. The Prince had a patch
the other day, and so had the Duke: and, if you will believe me, there
are seventeen yards three quarters of black taffeta already cut into
patches for the courtiers."
"But Sir Mungo Malagrowther?" again interjected Nigel, with difficulty.
"Ay, ay, sir--Sir Munko, as you say; a pleasant, good-humoured gentleman
as ever--To be spoken with, did you say? O ay, easily to be spoken
withal, that is, as easily as his infirmity will permit. He will
presently, unless some one hath asked him forth to breakfast, be taking
his bone of broiled beef at my neighbour Ned Kilderkin's yonder,
removed from over the way. Ned keeps an eating-house, sir, famous for
pork-griskins; but Sir Munko cannot abide pork, no more than the
King's most Sacred Majesty,[Footnote: The Scots, till within the last
generation, disliked swine's flesh as an article of food as much as the
Highlanders do at present. It was remarked as extraordinary rapacity,
when the Border depredators condescended to make prey of the accursed
race, whom the fiend made his habitation. Ben Jonson, in drawing James's
character, says, he loved "no part of a swine."] nor my Lord Duke of
Lennox, nor Lord Dalgarno,--nay, I am sure, sir, if I touched you this
time, it was your fault, not mine.--But a single drop of the styptic,
another little patch that would make a doublet for a flea, just under
the left moustache; it will become you when you smile, sir, as well as
a dimple; and if you would salute your fair mistress--but I beg pardon,
you are a grave gentleman, very grave to be so young.--Hope I have given
no offence; it is my duty to entertain customers--my duty, sir, and my
pleasure--Sir Munko Malcrowther?--yes, sir, I dare say he is at this
moment in Ned's eating-house, for few folks ask him out, now Lord
Huntinglen is gone to London. You will get touched again--yes,
sir--there you shall find him with his can of single ale, stirred with a
sprig of rosemary, for he never drinks strong potations, sir, unless to
oblige Lord Huntinglen--take heed, sir--or any other person who asks him
forth to breakfast--but single beer he always drinks at Ned's, with his
broiled bone of beef or mutton--or, it may be, lamb at the season--but
not pork, though Ned is famous for his griskins. But the Scots never eat
pork--strange that! some folk think they are a sort of Jews. There is a
resemblance, sir,--Do you not think so? Then they call our most gracious
Sovereign the Second Solomon, and Solomon, you know, was King of the
Jews; so the thing bears a face, you see. I believe, sir, you will
find yourself trimmed now to your content. I will be judged by the fair
mistress of your affections. Crave pardon--no offence, I trust. Pray,
consult the glass--one touch of the crisping tongs, to reduce this
straggler.--Thank your munificence, sir--hope your custom while you stay
in Greenwich. Would you have a tune on that ghittern, to put your temper
in concord for the day?--Twang, twang--twang, twang, dillo. Something
out of tune, sir--too many hands to touch it--we cannot keep these
things like artists. Let me help you with your cloak, sir--yes,
sir--You would not play yourself, sir, would you?--Way to Sir Munko's
eating-house?--Yes, sir; but it is Ned's eating-house, not Sir
Munko's.--The knight, to be sure, eats there, and makes it his
eating-house in some sense, sir--ha, ha! Yonder it is, removed from over
the way, new white-washed posts, and red lattice--fat man in his doublet
at the door--Ned himself, sir--worth a thousand pounds, they say--better
singeing pigs' faces than trimming courtiers--but ours is the less
mechanical vocation.--Farewell, sir; hope your custom." So saying, he
at length permitted Nigel to depart, whose ears, so long tormented with
continued babble, tingled when it had ceased, as if a bell had been rung
close to them for the same space of time.
Upon his arrival at the eating-house, where he proposed to meet with Sir
Mungo Malagrowther, from whom, in despair of better advice, he trusted
to receive some information as to the best mode of introducing himself
into the royal presence, Lord Glenvarloch found, in the host with whom
he communed, the consequential taciturnity of an Englishman well to pass
in the world. Ned Kilderkin spoke as a banker writes, only touching the
needful. Being asked if Sir Mungo Malagrowther was there? he replied,
No. Being interrogated whether he was expected? he said, Yes. And being
again required to say when he was expected, he answered, Presently.
As Lord Glenvarloch next inquired, whether he himself could have any
breakfast? the landlord wasted not even a syllable in reply, but,
ushering him into a neat room where there were several tables, he placed
one of them before an armchair, and beckoning Lord Glenvarloch to take
possession, he set before him, in a very few minutes, a substantial
repast of roast-beef, together with a foaming tankard, to which
refreshment the keen air of the river disposed him, notwithstanding his
mental embarrassments, to do much honour.
While Nigel was thus engaged in discussing his commons, but raising his
head at the same time whenever he heard the door of the apartment open,
eagerly desiring the arrival of Sir Mungo Malagrowther, (an event which
had seldom been expected by any one with so much anxious interest,) a
personage, as it seemed, of at least equal importance with the knight,
entered into the apartment, and began to hold earnest colloquy with
the publican, who thought proper to carry on the conference on his side
unbonneted. This important gentleman's occupation might be guessed from
his dress. A milk-white jerkin, and hose of white kersey; a white apron
twisted around his body in the manner of a sash, in which, instead of a
war-like dagger, was stuck a long-bladed knife, hilted with buck's-horn;
a white nightcap on his head, under which his hair was neatly tucked,
sufficiently pourtrayed him as one of those priests of Comus whom the
vulgar call cooks; and the air with which he rated the publican for
having neglected to send some provisions to the Palace, showed that he
ministered to royalty itself.
"This will never answer," he said, "Master Kilderkin--the king twice
asked for sweetbreads, and fricasseed coxcombs, which are a favourite
dish of his most Sacred Majesty, and they were not to be had, because
Master Kilderkin had not supplied them to the clerk of the kitchen, as
by bargain bound." Here Kilderkin made some apology, brief, according
to his own nature, and muttered in a lowly tone after the fashion of all
who find themselves in a scrape. His superior replied, in a lofty
strain of voice, "Do not tell me of the carrier and his wain, and of the
hen-coops coming from Norfolk with the poultry; a loyal man would have
sent an express--he would have gone upon his stumps, like Widdrington.
What if the king had lost his appetite, Master Kilderkin? What if his
most Sacred Majesty had lost his dinner? O, Master Kilderkin, if you had
but the just sense of the dignity of our profession, which is told of
by the witty African slave, for so the king's most excellent Majesty
designates him, Publius Terentius, _Tanguam in specula--in patinas
inspicerejubeo_."
"You are learned, Master Linklater," replied the English publican,
compelling, as it were with difficulty, his mouth to utter three or four
words consecutively.
"A poor smatterer," said Mr. Linklater; "but it would be a shame to us,
who are his most excellent Majesty's countrymen, not in some sort to
have cherished those arts wherewith he is so deeply embued--_Regis ad
exemplar_, Master Kilderkin, _totus componitur orbis_--which is as
much as to say, as the king quotes the cook learns. In brief, Master
Kilderkin, having had the luck to be bred where humanities may be had
at the matter of an English five groats by the quarter, I, like others,
have acquired--ahem-hem!--" Here, the speaker's eye having fallen upon
Lord Glenvarloch, he suddenly stopped in his learned harangue, with
such symptoms of embarrassment as induced Ned Kilderkin to stretch his
taciturnity so far as not only to ask him what he ailed, but whether he
would take any thing.
"Ail nothing," replied the learned rival of the philosophical Syrus;
"Nothing--and yet I do feel a little giddy. I could taste a glass of
your dame's _aqua mirabilis_."
"I will fetch it," said Ned, giving a nod; and his back was no sooner
turned, than the cook walked near the table where Lord Glenvarloch was
seated, and regarding him with a look of significance, where more was
meant than met the ear, said,--"You are a stranger in Greenwich, sir.
I advise you to take the opportunity to step into the Park--the western
wicket was ajar when I came hither; I think it will be locked presently,
so you had better make the best of your way--that is, if you have any
curiosity. The venison are coming into season just now, sir, and there
is a pleasure in looking at a hart of grease. I always think when they
are bounding so blithely past, what a pleasure it would be, to broach
their plump haunches on a spit, and to embattle their breasts in a noble
fortification of puff-paste, with plenty of black pepper."
He said no more, as Kilderkin re-entered with the cordial, but edged off
from Nigel without waiting any reply, only repeating the same look of
intelligence with which he had accosted him.
Nothing makes men's wits so alert as personal danger. Nigel took the
first opportunity which his host's attention to the yeoman of the royal
kitchen permitted, to discharge his reckoning, and readily obtained a
direction to the wicket in question. He found it upon the latch, as
he had been taught to expect; and perceived that it admitted him to a
narrow footpath, which traversed a close and tangled thicket, designed
for the cover of the does and the young fawns. Here he conjectured it
would be proper to wait; nor had he been stationary above five minutes,
when the cook, scalded as much with heat of motion as ever he had been
by his huge fire-place, arrived almost breathless, and with his pass-key
hastily locked the wicket behind him.
Ere Lord Glenvarloch had time to speculate upon this action, the man
approached with anxiety, and said--"Good lord, my Lord Glenvarloch!--why
will you endanger yourself thus?"
"You know me then, my friend?" said Nigel.
"Not much of that, my lord--but I know your honour's noble house
well.--My name is Laurie Linklater, my lord."
"Linklater!" repeated Nigel. "I should recollect--'
"Under your lordship's favour," he continued, "I was 'prentice, my
lord, to old Mungo Moniplies, the flesher at the wanton West-Port of
Edinburgh, which I wish I saw again before I died. And, your honour's
noble father having taken Richie Moniplies into his house to wait on
your lordship, there was a sort of connexion, your lordship sees."
"Ah!" said Lord Glenvarloch, "I had almost forgot your name, but not
your kind purpose. You tried to put Richie in the way of presenting a
supplication to his Majesty?"
"Most true, my lord," replied the king's cook. "I had like to have come
by mischief in the job; for Richie, who was always wilful, 'wadna be
guided by me,' as the sang says. But nobody amongst these brave English
cooks can kittle up his Majesty's most sacred palate with our own gusty
Scottish dishes. So I e'en betook myself to my craft, and concocted a
mess of friar's chicken for the soup, and a savoury hachis, that made
the whole cabal coup the crans; and, instead of disgrace, I came
by preferment. I am one of the clerks of the kitchen now, make me
thankful--with a finger in the purveyor's office, and may get my whole
hand in by and by."
"I am truly glad," said Nigel, "to hear that you have not suffered on my
account,--still more so at your good fortune."
"You bear a kind heart, my lord," said Linklater, "and do not forget
poor people; and, troth, I see not why they should be forgotten, since
the king's errand may sometimes fall in the cadger's gate. I have
followed your lordship in the street, just to look at such a stately
shoot of the old oak-tree; and my heart jumped into my throat, when I
saw you sitting openly in the eating-house yonder, and knew there was
such danger to your person."
"What! there are warrants against me, then?" said Nigel.
"It is even true, my lord; and there are those who are willing to
blacken you as much as they can.--God forgive them, that would sacrifice
an honourable house for their own base ends!"
"Amen," said Nigel.
"For, say your lordship may have been a little wild, like other young
gentlemen--"
"We have little time to talk of it, my friend," said Nigel. "The point
in question is, how am I to get speech of the king?"
"The king, my lord!" said Linklater in astonishment; "why, will not that
be rushing wilfully into danger?--scalding yourself, as I may say, with
your own ladle?"
"My good friend," answered Nigel, "my experience of the Court, and
my knowledge of the circumstances in which I stand, tell me, that the
manliest and most direct road is, in my case, the surest and the safest.
The king has both a head to apprehend what is just, and a heart to do
what is kind."
"It is e'en true, my lord, and so we, his old servants, know," added
Linklater; "but, woe's me, if you knew how many folks make it their
daily and nightly purpose to set his head against his heart, and his
heart against his head--to make him do hard things because they are
called just, and unjust things because they are represented as kind.
Woe's me! it is with his Sacred Majesty, and the favourites who work
upon him, even according to the homely proverb that men taunt my calling
with,--'God sends good meat, but the devil sends cooks.'"
"It signifies not talking of it, my good friend," said Nigel, "I must
take my risk, my honour peremptorily demands it. They may maim me, or
beggar me, but they shall not say I fled from my accusers. My peers
shall hear my vindication."
"Your peers?" exclaimed the cook--"Alack-a-day, my lord, we are not in
Scotland, where the nobles can bang it out bravely, were it even
with the king himself, now and then. This mess must be cooked in the
Star-Chamber, and that is an oven seven times heated, my lord;--and yet,
if you are determined to see the king, I will not say but you may find
some favour, for he likes well any thing that is appealed directly to
his own wisdom, and sometimes, in the like cases, I have known him stick
by his own opinion, which is always a fair one. Only mind, if you will
forgive me, my lord--mind to spice high with Latin; a curn or two of
Greek would not be amiss; and, if you can bring in any thing about the
judgment of Solomon, in the original Hebrew, and season with a merry
jest or so, the dish will be the more palatable.--Truly, I think, that,
besides my skill in art, I owe much to the stripes of the Rector of
the High School, who imprinted on my mind that cooking scene in
the Heautontimorumenos."
"Leaving that aside, my friend," said Lord Glenvarloch, "can you inform
me which way I shall most readily get to the sight and speech of the
king?"
"To the sight of him readily enough," said Linklater; "he is galloping
about these alleys, to see them strike the hart, to get him an appetite
for a nooning--and that reminds me I should be in the kitchen. To the
speech of the king you will not come so easily, unless you could either
meet him alone, which rarely chances, or wait for him among the
crowd that go to see him alight. And now, farewell, my lord, and God
speed!--if I could do more for you, I would offer it."
"You have done enough, perhaps, to endanger yourself," said Lord
Glenvarloch. "I pray you to be gone, and leave me to my fate."
The honest cook lingered, but a nearer burst of the horns apprized him
that there was no time to lose; and, acquainting Nigel that he would
leave the postern-door on the latch to secure his retreat in that
direction, he bade God bless him, and farewell.
In the kindness of this humble countryman, flowing partly from national
partiality, partly from a sense of long-remembered benefits, which had
been scarce thought on by those who had bestowed them, Lord Glenvarloch
thought he saw the last touch of sympathy which he was to receive in
this cold and courtly region, and felt that he must now be sufficient to
himself, or be utterly lost.
He traversed more than one alley, guided by the sounds of the chase,
and met several of the inferior attendants upon the king's sport, who
regarded him only as one of the spectators who were sometimes permitted
to enter the Park by the concurrence of the officers about the Court.
Still there was no appearance of James, or any of his principal
courtiers, and Nigel began to think whether, at the risk of incurring
disgrace similar to that which had attended the rash exploit of Richie
Moniplies, he should not repair to the Palace-gate, in order to address
the king on his return, when Fortune presented him the opportunity of
doing so, in her own way.
He was in one of those long walks by which the Park was traversed, when
he heard, first a distant rustling, then the rapid approach of hoofs
shaking the firm earth on which he stood; then a distant halloo, warned
by which he stood up by the side of the avenue, leaving free room for
the passage of the chase. The stag, reeling, covered with foam, and
blackened with sweat, his nostrils extended as he gasped for breath,
made a shift to come up as far as where Nigel stood, and, without
turning to bay, was there pulled down by two tall greyhounds of the
breed still used by the hardy deer-stalkers of the Scottish Highlands,
but which has been long unknown in England. One dog struck at the buck's
throat, another dashed his sharp nose and fangs, I might almost
say, into the animal's bowels. It would have been natural for Lord
Glenvarloch, himself persecuted as if by hunters, to have thought upon
the occasion like the melancholy Jacques; but habit is a strange matter,
and I fear that his feelings on the occasion were rather those of the
practised huntsman than of the moralist. He had no time, however, to
indulge them, for mark what befell.
A single horseman followed the chase, upon a steed so thoroughly
subjected to the rein, that it obeyed the touch of the bridle as if
it had been a mechanical impulse operating on the nicest piece of
machinery; so that, seated deep in his demipique saddle, and so trussed
up there as to make falling almost impossible, the rider, without either
fear or hesitation, might increase or diminish the speed at which he
rode, which, even on the most animating occasions of the chase, seldom
exceeded three-fourths of a gallop, the horse keeping his haunches
under him, and never stretching forward beyond the managed pace of
the academy. The security with which he chose to prosecute even this
favourite, and, in the ordinary case, somewhat dangerous amusement, as
well as the rest of his equipage, marked King James. No attendant was
within sight; indeed, it was often a nice strain of flattery to permit
the Sovereign to suppose he had outridden and distanced all the rest of
the chase.
"Weel dune, Bash--weel dune, Battie!" he exclaimed as he came up. "By
the honour of a king, ye are a credit to the Braes of Balwhither!--Haud
my horse, man," he called out to Nigel, without stopping to see to whom
he had addressed himself--"Haud my naig, and help me doun out o' the
saddle--deil ding your saul, sirrah, canna ye mak haste before these
lazy smaiks come up?--haud the rein easy--dinna let him swerve--now,
haud the stirrup--that will do, man, and now we are on terra firma."
So saying, without casting an eye on his assistant, gentle King Jamie,
unsheathing the short, sharp hanger, (_couteau de chasse_,) which was
the only thing approaching to a sword that he could willingly endure the
sight of, drew the blade with great satisfaction across the throat of
the buck, and put an end at once to its struggles and its agonies.
Lord Glenvarloch, who knew well the silvan duty which the occasion
demanded, hung the bridle of the king's palfrey on the branch of a tree,
and, kneeling duteously down, turned the slaughtered deer upon its back,
and kept the _quarree_ in that position, while the king, too intent upon
his sport to observe any thing else, drew his _couteau_ down the breast
of the animal, _secundum artem_; and, having made a cross cut, so as to
ascertain the depth of the fat upon the chest, exclaimed, in a sort of
rapture, "Three inches of white fat on the brisket!--prime--prime--as
I am a crowned sinner--and deil ane o' the lazy loons in but mysell!
Seven--aught--aught tines on the antlers. By G--d, a hart of aught
tines, and the first of the season! Bash and Battie, blessings on the
heart's-root of ye! Buss me, my bairns, buss me." The dogs accordingly
fawned upon him, licked him with bloody jaws, and soon put him in such
a state that it might have seemed treason had been doing its full work
upon his anointed body. "Bide doun, with a mischief to ye--bide doun,
with a wanion," cried the king, almost overturned by the obstreperous
caresses of the large stag-hounds. "But ye are just like ither folks,
gie ye an inch and ye take an ell.--And wha may ye be, friend?" he said,
now finding leisure to take a nearer view of Nigel, and observing what
in his first emotion of silvan delight had escaped him,--"Ye are nane
of our train, man. In the name of God, what the devil are ye?"
"An unfortunate man, sire," replied Nigel.
"I dare say that," answered the king, snappishly, "or I wad have seen
naething of you. My lieges keep a' their happiness to themselves; but
let bowls row wrang wi' them, and I am sure to hear of it."
"And to whom else can we carry our complaints but to your Majesty, who
is Heaven's vicegerent over us!" answered Nigel.
"Right, man, right--very weel spoken," said the king; "but you should
leave Heaven's vicegerent some quiet on earth, too."
"If your Majesty will look on me," (for hitherto the king had been
so busy, first with the dogs, and then with the mystic operation of
_breaking_, in vulgar phrase, cutting up the deer, that he had scarce
given his assistant above a transient glance,) "you will see whom
necessity makes bold to avail himself of an opportunity which may never
again occur."
King James looked; his blood left his cheek, though it continued stained
with that of the animal which lay at his feet, he dropped the knife from
his hand, cast behind him a faltering eye, as if he either
meditated flight or looked out for assistance, and then
exclaimed,--"Glenvarlochides! as sure as I was christened James Stewart.
Here is a bonny spot of work, and me alone, and on foot too!" he added,
bustling to get upon his horse.
"Forgive me that I interrupt you, my liege," said Nigel, placing himself
between the king and his steed; "hear me but a moment!"
"I'll hear ye best on horseback," said the king. "I canna hear a word
on foot, man, not a word; and it is not seemly to stand cheek-for-chowl
confronting us that gate. Bide out of our gate, sir, we charge you on
your allegiance.--The deil's in them a', what can they be doing?"
"By the crown that you wear, my liege," said Nigel, "and for which my
ancestors have worthily fought, I conjure you to be composed, and to
hear me but a moment!"
That which he asked was entirely out of the monarch's power to grant.
The timidity which he showed was not the plain downright cowardice,
which, like a natural impulse, compels a man to flight, and which can
excite little but pity or contempt, but a much more ludicrous, as well
as more mingled sensation. The poor king was frightened at once and
angry, desirous of securing his safety, and at the same time ashamed
to compromise his dignity; so that without attending to what Lord
Glenvarloch endeavoured to explain, he kept making at his horse, and
repeating, "We are a free king, man,--we are a free king--we will not be
controlled by a subject.--In the name of God, what keeps Steenie? And,
praised be his name, they are coming--Hillo, ho--here, here--Steenie,
Steenie!"
The Duke of Buckingham galloped up, followed by several courtiers
and attendants of the royal chase, and commenced with his usual
familiarity,--"I see Fortune has graced our dear dad, as usual.--But
what's this?"
"What is it? It is treason for what I ken," said the king; "and a' your
wyte, Steenie. Your dear dad and gossip might have been murdered, for
what you care."
"Murdered? Secure the villain!" exclaimed the Duke. "By Heaven, it is
Olifaunt himself!" A dozen of the hunters dismounted at once, letting
their horses run wild through the park. Some seized roughly on Lord
Glenvarloch, who thought it folly to offer resistance, while others
busied themselves with the king. "Are you wounded, my liege--are you
wounded?"
"Not that I ken of," said the king, in the paroxysm of his apprehension,
(which, by the way, might be pardoned in one of so timorous a
temper, and who, in his time, had been exposed to so many strange
attempts)--"Not that I ken of--but search him--search him. I am sure I
saw fire-arms under his cloak. I am sure I smelled powder--I am dooms
sure of that."
Lord Glenvarloch's cloak being stripped off, and his pistols discovered,
a shout of wonder and of execration on the supposed criminal purpose,
arose from the crowd now thickening every moment. Not that celebrated
pistol, which, though resting on a bosom as gallant and as loyal as
Nigel's, spread such cause less alarm among knights and dames at a late
high solemnity--not that very pistol caused more temporary consternation
than was so groundlessly excited by the arms which were taken from Lord
Glenvarloch's person; and not Mhic-Allastar-More himself could repel
with greater scorn and indignation, the insinuations that they were worn
for any sinister purposes.
"Away with the wretch--the parricide--the bloody-minded villain!" was
echoed on all hands; and the king, who naturally enough set the same
value on his own life, at which it was, or seemed to be, rated by
others, cried out, louder than all the rest, "Ay, ay--away with him.
I have had enough of him and so has the country. But do him no bodily
harm--and, for God's sake, sirs, if ye are sure ye have thoroughly
disarmed him, put up your swords, dirks, and skenes, for you will
certainly do each other a mischief."
There was a speedy sheathing of weapons at the king's command; for those
who had hitherto been brandishing them in loyal bravado, began thereby
to call to mind the extreme dislike which his Majesty nourished against
naked steel, a foible which seemed to be as constitutional as his
timidity, and was usually ascribed to the brutal murder of Rizzio having
been perpetrated in his unfortunate mother's presence before he yet saw
the light.
At this moment, the Prince, who had been hunting in a different part
of the then extensive Park, and had received some hasty and confused
information of what was going forward, came rapidly up, with one or two
noblemen in his train, and amongst others Lord Dalgarno. He sprung from
his horse and asked eagerly if his father were wounded.
"Not that I am sensible of, Baby Charles--but a wee matter exhausted,
with struggling single-handed with the assassin.--Steenie, fill up a cup
of wine--the leathern bottle is hanging at our pommel.--Buss me, then,
Baby Charles," continued the monarch, after he had taken this cup of
comfort; "O man, the Commonwealth and you have had a fair escape from
the heavy and bloody loss of a dear father; for we are _pater patriae_,
as weel as _pater familias_.-_Quis desiderio sit pudor aut modus tarn
cari capitis!_-Woe is me, black cloth would have been dear in England,
and dry een scarce!"
And, at the very idea of the general grief which must have attended his
death, the good-natured monarch cried heartily himself.
"Is this possible?" said Charles, sternly; for his pride was hurt at
his father's demeanour on the one hand, while on the other, he felt the
resentment of a son and a subject, at the supposed attempt on the
king's life. "Let some one speak who has seen what happened--My Lord of
Buckingham!"
"I cannot say my lord," replied the Duke, "that I saw any actual
violence offered to his Majesty, else I should have avenged him on the
spot."
"You would have done wrong, then, in your zeal, George," answered the
Prince; "such offenders were better left to be dealt with by the laws.
But was the villain not struggling with his Majesty?"
"I cannot term it so, my lord," said the Duke, who, with many faults,
would have disdained an untruth; "he seemed to desire to detain his
Majesty, who, on the contrary, appeared to wish to mount his horse; but
they have found pistols on his person, contrary to the proclamation,
and, as it proves to be by Nigel Olifaunt, of whose ungoverned
disposition your Royal Highness has seen some samples, we seem to be
justified in apprehending the worst."
"Nigel Olifaunt!" said the Prince; "can that unhappy man so soon have
engaged in a new trespass? Let me see those pistols."
"Ye are not so unwise as to meddle with such snap-haunces, Baby
Charles?" said James--"Do not give him them, Steenie--I command you
on your allegiance! They may go off of their own accord, whilk often
befalls.--You will do it, then?--Saw ever a man sic wilful bairns as we
are cumbered with!--Havena we guardsmen and soldiers enow, but you must
unload the weapons yoursell--you, the heir of our body and dignities,
and sae mony men around that are paid for venturing life in our cause?"
But without regarding his father's exclamations, Prince Charles, with
the obstinacy which characterised him in trifles, as well as matters of
consequence, persisted in unloading the pistols with his own hand, of
the double bullets with which each was charged. The hands of all around
were held up in astonishment at the horror of the crime supposed to have
been intended, and the escape which was presumed so narrow.
Nigel had not yet spoken a word--he now calmly desired to be heard.
"To what purpose?" answered the Prince coldly. "You knew yourself
accused of a heavy offence, and, instead of rendering yourself up to
justice, in terms of the proclamation, you are here found intruding
yourself on his Majesty's presence, and armed with unlawful weapons."
"May it please you, sir," answered Nigel, "I wore these unhappy weapons
for my own defence; and not very many hours since they were necessary to
protect the lives of others."
"Doubtless, my lord," answered the Prince, still calm and
unmoved,--"your late mode of life, and the associates with whom you have
lived, have made you familiar with scenes and weapons of violence. But
it is not to me you are to plead your cause."
"Hear me--hear me, noble Prince!" said Nigel, eagerly. "Hear me!
You--even you yourself--may one day ask to be heard, and in vain."
"How, sir," said the Prince, haughtily--"how am I to construe that, my
lord?"
"If not on earth, sir," replied the prisoner, "yet to Heaven we must all
pray for patient and favourable audience."
"True, my lord," said the Prince, bending his head with haughty
acquiescence; "nor would I now refuse such audience to you, could it
avail you. But you shall suffer no wrong. We will ourselves look into
your case."
"Ay, ay," answered the king, "he hath made _appellatio ad Casarem_--we
will interrogate Glenvarlochides ourselves, time and place fitting; and,
in the meanwhile, have him and his weapons away, for I am weary of the
sight of them."
In consequence of directions hastily given, Nigel was accordingly
removed from the presence, where, however, his words had not altogether
fallen to the ground. "This is a most strange matter, George," said
the Prince to the favourite; "this gentleman hath a good countenance, a
happy presence, and much calm firmness in his look and speech. I cannot
think he would attempt a crime so desperate and useless."
"I profess neither love nor favour to the young man," answered
Buckingham, whose high-spirited ambition bore always an open character:
"but I cannot but agree with your Highness, that our dear gossip hath
been something hasty in apprehending personal danger from him."
"By my saul, Steenie, ye are not blate, to say so!" said the king. "Do I
not ken the smell of pouther, think ye? Who else nosed out the Fifth of
November, save our royal selves? Cecil, and Suffolk, and all of them,
were at fault, like sae mony mongrel tikes, when I puzzled it out:
and trow ye that I cannot smell pouther? Why, 'sblood, man, Joannes
Barclaius thought my ingine was in some measure inspiration, and terms
his history of the plot, Series patefacti divinitus parricidii; and
Spondanus, in like manner, saith of us, Divinitus evasit."
"The land was happy in your Majesty's escape," said the Duke of
Buckingham, "and not less in the quick wit which tracked that labyrinth
of treason by so fine and almost invisible a clew."
"Saul, man, Steenie, ye are right! There are few youths have sic true
judgment as you, respecting the wisdom of their elders; and, as for this
fause, traitorous smaik, I doubt he is a hawk of the same nest. Saw ye
not something papistical about him? Let them look that he bears not a
crucifix, or some sic Roman trinket, about him."
"It would ill become me to attempt the exculpation of this unhappy man,"
said Lord Dalgarno, "considering the height of his present attempt,
which has made all true men's blood curdle in their veins. Yet I cannot
avoid intimating, with all due submission to his Majesty's infallible
judgment, in justice to one who showed himself formerly only my enemy,
though he now displays himself in much blacker colours, that this
Olifaunt always appeared to me more as a Puritan than as a Papist."
"Ah, Dalgarno, art thou there, man?" said the king. "And ye behoved to
keep back, too, and leave us to our own natural strength and the care of
Providence, when we were in grips with the villain!"
"Providence, may it please your most Gracious Majesty, would not fail
to aid, in such a strait, the care of three weeping kingdoms," said Lord
Dalgarno.
"Surely, man--surely," replied the king--"but a sight of your father,
with his long whinyard, would have been a blithe matter a short while
syne; and in future we will aid the ends of Providence in our favour,
by keeping near us two stout beef-eaters of the guard.--And so this
Olifaunt is a Puritan?--not the less like to be a Papist, for all
that--for extremities meet, as the scholiast proveth. There are, as I
have proved in my book, Puritans of papistical principles--it is just a
new tout on an old horn."
Here the king was reminded by the Prince, who dreaded perhaps that he
was going to recite the whole Basilicon Doron, that it would be best to
move towards the Palace, and consider what was to be done for satisfying
the public mind, in whom the morning's adventure was likely to excite
much speculation. As they entered the gate of the Palace, a female bowed
and presented a paper, which the king received, and, with a sort
of groan, thrust it into his side pocket. The Prince expressed some
curiosity to know its contents. "The valet in waiting will tell you
them," said the king, "when I strip off my cassock. D'ye think, Baby,
that I can read all that is thrust into my hands? See to me, man"--(he
pointed to the pockets of his great trunk breeches, which were stuffed
with papers)--"We are like an ass--that we should so speak--stooping
betwixt two burdens. Ay, ay, Asinus fortis accumbens inter terminos, as
the Vulgate hath it--Ay, ay, Vidi terrain quod esset optima, et supposui
humerum ad portandum, et factus sum tributis serviens--I saw this land
of England, and became an overburdened king thereof."
"You are indeed well loaded, my dear dad and gossip," said the Duke of
Buckingham, receiving the papers which King James emptied out of his
pockets.
"Ay, ay," continued the monarch; "take them to you per aversionem,
bairns--the one pouch stuffed with petitions, t'other with pasquinadoes;
a fine time we have on't. On my conscience, I believe the tale of Cadmus
was hieroglyphical, and that the dragon's teeth whilk he sowed were
the letters he invented. Ye are laughing, Baby Charles?--Mind what I
say.--When I came here first frae our ain country, where the men are
as rude as the weather, by my conscience, England was a bieldy bit;
one would have thought the king had little to do but to walk by quiet
waters, per aquam refectionis. But, I kenna how or why, the place is
sair changed--read that libel upon us and on our regimen. The dragon's
teeth are sown, Baby Charles; I pray God they bearna their armed harvest
in your day, if I suld not live to see it. God forbid I should, for
there will be an awful day's kemping at the shearing of them."
"I shall know how to stifle the crop in the blade,--ha, George?" said
the Prince, turning to the favourite with a look expressive of some
contempt for his father's apprehensions, and full of confidence in the
superior firmness and decision of his own counsels.
While this discourse was passing, Nigel, in charge of a
pursuivant-at-arms, was pushed and dragged through the small town, all
the inhabitants of which, having been alarmed by the report of an attack
on the king's life, now pressed forward to see the supposed traitor.
Amid the confusion of the moment, he could descry the face of the
victualler, arrested into a stare of stolid wonder, and that of the
barber grinning betwixt horror and eager curiosity. He thought that he
also had a glimpse of his waterman in the green jacket.
He had no time for remarks, being placed in a boat with the pursuivant
and two yeomen of the guard, and rowed up the river as fast as the
arms of six stout watermen could pull against the tide. They passed
the groves of masts which even then astonished the stranger with the
extended commerce of London, and now approached those low and blackened
walls of curtain and bastion, which exhibit here and there a piece of
ordnance, and here and there a solitary sentinel under arms, but have
otherwise so little of the military terrors of a citadel. A projecting
low-browed arch, which had loured over many an innocent, and many a
guilty head, in similar circumstances, now spread its dark frowns over
that of Nigel. The boat was put close up to the broad steps against
which the tide was lapping its lazy wave. The warder on duty looked from
the wicket, and spoke to the pursuivant in whispers. In a few minutes
the Lieutenant of the Tower appeared, received, and granted an
acknowledgment for the body of Nigel, Lord Glenvarloch.