Rove not from pole to pole-the man lives here
Whose razor's only equall'd by his beer;
And where, in either sense, the cockney-put
May, if he pleases, get confounded cut.
_On the sign of an Alehouse kept by a Barber._
We are under the necessity of transporting our readers to the habitation
of Benjamin Suddlechop, the husband of the active and efficient Dame
Ursula, and who also, in his own person, discharged more offices than
one. For, besides trimming locks and beards, and turning whiskers upward
into the martial and swaggering curl, or downward into the drooping
form which became mustaches of civil policy; besides also occasionally
letting blood, either by cupping or by the lancet, extracting a stump,
and performing other actions of petty pharmacy, very nearly as well as
his neighbour Raredrench, the apothecary: he could, on occasion, draw
a cup of beer as well as a tooth, tap a hogshead as well as a vein, and
wash, with a draught of good ale, the mustaches which his art had just
trimmed. But he carried on these trades apart from each other.
His barber's shop projected its long and mysterious pole into Fleet
Street, painted party-coloured-wise, to represent the ribbons with
which, in elder times, that ensign was garnished. In the window were
seen rows of teeth displayed upon strings like rosaries--cups with a red
rag at the bottom, to resemble blood, an intimation that patients
might be bled, cupped, or blistered, with the assistance of "sufficient
advice;" while the more profitable, but less honourable operations upon
the hair of the head and beard, were briefly and gravely announced.
Within was the well-worn leather chair for customers, the guitar, then
called a ghittern or cittern, with which a customer might amuse himself
till his predecessor was dismissed from under Benjamin's hands, and
which, therefore, often flayed the ears of the patient metaphorically,
while his chin sustained from the razor literal scarification. All,
therefore, in this department, spoke the chirurgeon-barber, or the
barber-chirurgeon.
But there was a little back-room, used as a private tap-room, which had
a separate entrance by a dark and crooked alley, which communicated with
Fleet Street, after a circuitous passage through several by-lanes
and courts. This retired temple of Bacchus had also a connexion with
Benjamin's more public shop by a long and narrow entrance, conducting to
the secret premises in which a few old topers used to take their morning
draught, and a few gill-sippers their modicum of strong waters, in a
bashful way, after having entered the barber's shop under pretence of
being shaved. Besides, this obscure tap-room gave a separate admission
to the apartments of Dame Ursley, which she was believed to make use of
in the course of her multifarious practice, both to let herself secretly
out, and to admit clients and employers who cared not to be seen to
visit her in public. Accordingly, after the hour of noon, by which time
the modest and timid whetters, who were Benjamin's best customers, had
each had his draught, or his thimbleful, the business of the tap was in
a manner ended, and the charge of attending the back-door passed from
one of the barber's apprentices to the little mulatto girl, the dingy
Iris of Dame Suddlechop. Then came mystery thick upon mystery; muffled
gallants, and masked females, in disguises of different fashions, were
seen to glide through the intricate mazes of the alley; and even the low
tap on the door, which frequently demanded the attention of the
little Creole, had in it something that expressed secrecy and fear of
discovery.
It was the evening of the same day when Margaret had held the long
conference with the Lady Hermione, that Dame Suddlechop had directed her
little portress to "keep the door fast as a miser's purse-strings; and,
as she valued her saffron skin, to let in none but---" the name she
added in a whisper, and accompanied it with a nod. The little domestic
blinked intelligence, went to her post, and in brief time thereafter
admitted and ushered into the presence of the dame, that very
city-gallant whose clothes sat awkwardly upon him, and who had behaved
so doughtily in the fray which befell at Nigel's first visit to
Beaujeu's ordinary. The mulatto introduced him--"Missis, fine young
gentleman, all over gold and velvet "--then muttered to herself as she
shut the door, "fine young gentleman, he!--apprentice to him who makes
the tick-tick."
It was indeed--we are sorry to say it, and trust our readers will
sympathize with the interest we take in the matter--it was indeed honest
Jin Vin, who had been so far left to his own devices, and abandoned by
his better angel, as occasionally to travesty himself in this fashion,
and to visit, in the dress of a gallant of the day, those places of
pleasure and dissipation, in which it would have been everlasting
discredit to him to have been seen in his real character and condition;
that is, had it been possible for him in his proper shape to have gained
admission. There was now a deep gloom on his brow, his rich habit was
hastily put on, and buttoned awry; his belt buckled in a most disorderly
fashion, so that his sword stuck outwards from his side, instead of
hanging by it with graceful negligence; while his poniard, though fairly
hatched and gilded, stuck in his girdle like a butcher's steel in
the fold of his blue apron. Persons of fashion had, by the way, the
advantage formerly of being better distinguished from the vulgar than at
present; for, what the ancient farthingale and more modern hoop were to
court ladies, the sword was to the gentleman; an article of dress, which
only rendered those ridiculous who assumed it for the nonce, without
being in the habit of wearing it. Vincent's rapier got between his legs,
and, as he stumbled over it, he exclaimed--"Zounds! 'tis the second time
it has served me thus--I believe the damned trinket knows I am no true
gentleman, and does it of set purpose."
"Come, come, mine honest Jin Vin--come, my good boy," said the dame, in
a soothing tone, "never mind these trankums--a frank and hearty London
'prentice is worth all the gallants of the inns of court."
"I was a frank and hearty London 'prentice before I knew you, Dame
Suddlechop," said Vincent; "what your advice has made me, you may find a
name for; since, fore George! I am ashamed to think about it myself."
"A-well-a-day," quoth the dame, "and is it even so with thee?--nay,
then, I know but one cure;" and with that, going to a little corner
cupboard of carved wainscoat, she opened it by the assistance of a key,
which, with half-a-dozen besides, hung in a silver chain at her girdle,
and produced a long flask of thin glass cased with wicker, bringing
forth at the same time two Flemish rummer glasses, with long stalks and
capacious wombs. She filled the one brimful for her guest, and the other
more modestly to about two-thirds of its capacity, for her own
use, repeating, as the rich cordial trickled forth in a smooth oily
stream--"Right Rosa Solis, as ever washed mulligrubs out of a moody
brain!"
But, though Jin Vin tossed off his glass without scruple, while the lady
sippped hers more moderately, it did not appear to produce the expected
amendment upon his humour. On the contrary, as he threw himself into the
great leathern chair, in which Dame Ursley was wont to solace herself of
an evening, he declared himself "the most miserable dog within the sound
of Bow-bell."
"And why should you be so idle as to think yourself so, silly boy?" said
Dame Suddlechop; "but 'tis always thus--fools and children never know
when they are well. Why, there is not one that walks in St. Paul's,
whether in flat cap, or hat and feather, that has so many kind glances
from the wenches as you, when ye swagger along Fleet Street with your
bat under your arm, and your cap set aside upon your head. Thou knowest
well, that, from Mrs. Deputy's self down to the waist-coateers in the
alley, all of them are twiring and peeping betwixt their fingers when
you pass; and yet you call yourself a miserable dog! and I must tell
you all this over and over again, as if I were whistling the chimes
of London to a pettish child, in order to bring the pretty baby into
good-humour!"
The flattery of Dame Ursula seemed to have the fate of her cordial--it
was swallowed, indeed, by the party to whom she presented it, and that
with some degree of relish, but it did not operate as a sedative on the
disturbed state of the youth's mind. He laughed for an instant, half
in scorn, and half in gratified vanity, but cast a sullen look on Dame
Ursley as he replied to her last words,
"You do treat me like a child indeed, when you sing over and over to me
a cuckoo song that I care not a copper-filing for."
"Aha!" said Dame Ursley; "that is to say, you care not if you please
all, unless you please one--You are a true lover, I warrant, and care
not for all the city, from here to Whitechapel, so you could write
yourself first in your pretty Peg-a-Ramsay's good-will. Well, well, take
patience, man, and be guided by me, for I will be the hoop will bind you
together at last."
"It is time you were so," said Jenkin, "for hitherto you have rather
been the wedge to separate us."
Dame Suddlechop had by this time finished her cordial--it was not the
first she had taken that day; and, though a woman of strong brain,
and cautious at least, if not abstemious, in her potations, it may
nevertheless be supposed that her patience was not improved by the
regimen which she observed.
"Why, thou ungracious and ingrate knave," said Dame Ursley, "have not
I done every thing to put thee in thy mistress's good graces? She loves
gentry, the proud Scottish minx, as a Welshman loves cheese, and has
her father's descent from that Duke of Daldevil, or whatsoever she calls
him, as close in her heart as gold in a miser's chest, though she
as seldom shows it--and none she will think of, or have, but a
gentleman--and a gentleman I have made of thee, Jin Vin, the devil
cannot deny that."
"You have made a fool of me," said poor Jenkin, looking at the sleeve of
his jacket.
"Never the worse gentleman for that," said Dame Ursley, laughing.
"And what is worse," said he, turning his back to her suddenly, and
writhing in his chair, "you have made a rogue of me."
"Never the worse gentleman for that neither," said Dame Ursley, in the
same tone; "let a man bear his folly gaily and his knavery stoutly, and
let me see if gravity or honesty will look him in the face now-a-days.
Tut, man, it was only in the time of King Arthur or King Lud, that a
gentleman was held to blemish his scutcheon by a leap over the line
of reason or honesty--It is the bold look, the ready hand, the fine
clothes, the brisk oath, and the wild brain, that makes the gallant
now-a-days."
"I know what you have made me," said Jin Vin; "since I have given up
skittles and trap-ball for tennis and bowls, good English ale for thin
Bordeaux and sour Rhenish, roast-beef and pudding for woodcocks and
kickshaws--my bat for a sword, my cap for a beaver, my forsooth for
a modish oath, my Christmas-box for a dice-box, my religion for the
devil's matins, and mine honest name for--Woman, I could brain thee,
when I think whose advice has guided me in all this!"
"Whose advice, then? whose advice, then? Speak out, thou poor, petty
cloak-brusher, and say who advised thee!" retorted Dame Ursley, flushed
and indignant--"Marry come up, my paltry companion--say by whose advice
you have made a gamester of yourself, and a thief besides, as your
words would bear--The Lord deliver us from evil!" And here Dame Ursley
devoutly crossed herself.
"Hark ye, Dame Ursley Suddlechop," said Jenkin, starting up, his dark
eyes flashing with anger; "remember I am none of your husband--and, if
I were, you would do well not to forget whose threshold was swept
when they last rode the Skimmington [Footnote: A species of triumphal
procession in honour of female supremacy, when it rose to such a height
as to attract the attention of the neighbourhood. It is described at
full length in Hudibras. (Part II. Canto II.) As the procession passed
on, those who attended it in an official capacity were wont to sweep
the threshold of the houses in which Fame affirmed the mistresses to
exercise paramount authority, which was given and received as a hint
that their inmates might, in their turn, be made the subject of a
similar ovation. The Skimmington, which in some degree resembled
the proceedings of Mumbo Jumbo in an African village, has been long
discontinued in England, apparently because female rule has become
either milder or less frequent than among our ancestors.] upon such
another scolding jade as yourself."
"I hope to see you ride up Holborn next," said Dame Ursley, provoked out
of all her holiday and sugar-plum expressions, "with a nosegay at your
breast, and a parson at your elbow!"
"That may well be," answered Jin Vin, bitterly, "if I walk by your
counsels as I have begun by them; but, before that day comes, you
shall know that Jin Vin has the brisk boys of Fleet Street still at
his wink.--Yes, you jade, you shall be carted for bawd and conjurer,
double-dyed in grain, and bing off to Bridewell, with every brass basin
betwixt the Bar and Paul's beating before you, as if the devil were
banging them with his beef-hook."
Dame Ursley coloured like scarlet, seized upon the half-emptied flask of
cordial, and seemed, by her first gesture, about to hurl it at the head
of her adversary; but suddenly, and as if by a strong internal effort,
she checked her outrageous resentment, and, putting the bottle to its
more legitimate use, filled, with wonderful composure, the two glasses,
and, taking up one of them, said, with a smile, which better became her
comely and jovial countenance than the fury by which it was animated the
moment before--
"Here is to thee, Jin Vin, my lad, in all loving kindness, whatever
spite thou bearest to me, that have always been a mother to thee."
Jenkin's English good-nature could not resist this forcible appeal; he
took up the other glass, and lovingly pledged the dame in her cup of
reconciliation, and proceeded to make a kind of grumbling apology for
his own violence--
"For you know," he said, "it was you persuaded me to get these fine
things, and go to that godless ordinary, and ruffle it with the best,
and bring you home all the news; and you said, I, that was the cock
of the ward, would soon be the cock of the ordinary, and would win
ten times as much at gleek and primero, as I used to do at put and
beggar-my-neighbour--and turn up doublets with the dice, as busily as I
was wont to trowl down the ninepins in the skittle-ground--and then you
said I should bring you such news out of the ordinary as should make
us all, when used as you knew how to use it--and now you see what is to
come of it all!"
"'Tis all true thou sayest, lad," said the dame; "but thou must have
patience. Rome was not built in a day--you cannot become used to your
court-suit in a month's time, any more than when you changed your long
coat for a doublet and hose; and in gaming you must expect to lose as
well as gain--'tis the sitting gamester sweeps the board."
"The board has swept me, I know," replied Jin Vin, "and that pretty
clean out.--I would that were the worst; but I owe for all this finery,
and settling-day is coming on, and my master will find my accompt worse
than it should be by a score of pieces. My old father will be called in
to make them good; and I--may save the hangman a labour and do the job
myself, or go the Virginia voyage."
"Do not speak so loud, my dear boy," said Dame Ursley; "but tell me why
you borrow not from a friend to make up your arrear. You could lend him
as much when his settling-day came round."
"No, no--I have had enough of that work," said Vincent. "Tunstall would
lend me the money, poor fellow, an he had it; but his gentle, beggarly
kindred, plunder him of all, and keep him as bare as a birch at
Christmas. No--my fortune may be spelt in four letters, and these read,
RUIN."
"Now hush, you simple craven," said the dame; "did you never hear, that
when the need is highest the help is nighest? We may find aid for you
yet, and sooner than you are aware of. I am sure I would never have
advised you to such a course, but only you had set heart and eye on
pretty Mistress Marget, and less would not serve you--and what could
I do but advise you to cast your city-slough, and try your luck where
folks find fortune?"
"Ay, ay--I remember your counsel well," said Jenkin; "I was to be
introduced to her by you when I was perfect in my gallantries, and as
rich as the king; and then she was to be surprised to find I was poor
Jin Vin, that used to watch, from matin to curfew, for one glance of
her eye; and now, instead of that, she has set her soul on this Scottish
sparrow-hawk of a lord that won my last tester, and be cursed to him;
and so I am bankrupt in love, fortune, and character, before I am out of
my time, and all along of you, Mother Midnight."
"Do not call me out of my own name, my dear boy, Jin Vin," answered
Ursula, in a tone betwixt rage and coaxing,--"do not; because I am no
saint, but a poor sinful woman, with no more patience than she needs,
to carry her through a thousand crosses. And if I have done you wrong by
evil counsel, I must mend it and put you right by good advice. And for
the score of pieces that must be made up at settling-day, why, here is,
in a good green purse, as much as will make that matter good; and
we will get old Crosspatch, the tailor, to take a long day for your
clothes; and--"
"Mother, are you serious?" said Jin Vin, unable to trust either his eyes
or his ears.
"In troth am I," said the dame; "and will you call me Mother Midnight
now, Jin Vin?"
"Mother Midnight!" exclaimed Jenkin, hugging the dame in his transport,
and bestowing on her still comely cheek a hearty and not unacceptable
smack, that sounded like the report of a pistol,--"Mother Midday,
rather, that has risen to light me out of my troubles--a mother more
dear than she who bore me; for she, poor soul, only brought me into a
world of sin and sorrow, and your timely aid has helped me out of the
one and the other." And the good-natured fellow threw himself back in
his chair, and fairly drew his hand across his eyes.
"You would not have me be made to ride the Skimmington then," said the
dame; "or parade me in a cart, with all the brass basins of the ward
beating the march to Bridewell before me?"
"I would sooner be carted to Tyburn myself," replied the penitent.
"Why, then, sit up like a man, and wipe thine eyes; and, if thou art
pleased with what I have done, I will show thee how thou mayst requite
me in the highest degree."
"How?" said Jenkin Vincent, sitting straight up in his chair.--"You
would have me, then, do you some service for this friendship of yours?"
"Ay, marry would I," said Dame Ursley; "for you are to know, that though
I am right glad to stead you with it, this gold is not mine, but was
placed in my hands in order to find a trusty agent, for a certain
purpose; and so--But what's the matter with you?--are you fool enough to
be angry because you cannot get a purse of gold for nothing? I would
I knew where such were to come by. I never could find them lying in my
road, I promise you."
"No, no, dame," said poor Jenkin, "it is not for that; for, look you,
I would rather work these ten bones to the knuckles, and live by my
labour; but--" (and here he paused.)
"But what, man?" said Dame Ursley. "You are willing to work for what you
want; and yet, when I offer you gold for the winning, you look on me as
the devil looks over Lincoln."
"It is ill talking of the devil, mother," said Jenkin. "I had him even
now in my head--for, look you, I am at that pass, when they say he
will appear to wretched ruined creatures, and proffer them gold for the
fee-simple of their salvation. But I have been trying these two days to
bring my mind strongly up to the thought, that I will rather sit down
in shame, and sin, and sorrow, as I am like to do, than hold on in ill
courses to get rid of my present straits; and so take care, Dame Ursula,
how you tempt me to break such a good resolution."
"I tempt you to nothing, young man," answered Ursula; "and, as I
perceive you are too wilful to be wise, I will e'en put my purse in my
pocket, and look out for some one that will work my turn with better
will, and more thankfulness. And you may go your own course,--break
your indenture, ruin your father, lose your character, and bid pretty
Mistress Margaret farewell, for ever and a day."
"Stay, stay," said Jenkin "the woman is in as great a hurry as a brown
baker when his oven is overheated. First, let me hear that which you
have to propose to me."
"Why, after all, it is but to get a gentleman of rank and fortune, who
is in trouble, carried in secret down the river, as far as the Isle of
Dogs, or somewhere thereabout, where he may lie concealed until he can
escape aboard. I know thou knowest every place by the river's side as
well as the devil knows an usurer, or the beggar knows his dish."
"A plague of your similes, dame," replied the apprentice; "for the devil
gave me that knowledge, and beggary may be the end on't.--But what has
this gentleman done, that he should need to be under hiding? No Papist,
I hope--no Catesby and Piercy business--no Gunpowder Plot?"
"Fy, fy!--what do you take me for?" said Dame Ursula. "I am as good a
churchwoman as the parson's wife, save that necessary business will not
allow me to go there oftener than on Christmas-day, heaven help me!--No,
no--this is no Popish matter. The gentleman hath but struck another in
the Park--"
"Ha! what?" said Vincent, interrupting her with a start.
"Ay, ay, I see you guess whom I mean. It is even he we have spoken of so
often--just Lord Glenvarloch, and no one else."
Vincent sprung from his seat, and traversed the room with rapid and
disorderly steps.
"There, there it is now--you are always ice or gunpowder. You sit in the
great leathern armchair, as quiet as a rocket hangs upon the frame in a
rejoicing-night till the match be fired, and then, whizz! you are in the
third heaven, beyond the reach of the human voice, eye, or brain.--When
you have wearied yourself with padding to and fro across the room, will
you tell me your determination, for time presses? Will you aid me in
this matter, or not?"
"No--no--no--a thousand times no," replied Jenkin. "Have you not
confessed to me, that Margaret loves him?"
"Ay," answered the dame, "that she thinks she does; but that will not
last long."
"And have I not told you but this instant," replied Jenkin, "that it was
this same Glenvarloch that rooked me, at the ordinary, of every penny I
had, and made a knave of me to boot, by gaining more than was my own?--O
that cursed gold, which Shortyard, the mercer, paid me that morning on
accompt, for mending the clock of Saint Stephen's! If I had not, by ill
chance, had that about me, I could but have beggared my purse, without
blemishing my honesty; and, after I had been rooked of all the rest
amongst them, I must needs risk the last five pieces with that shark
among the minnows!"
"Granted," said Dame Ursula. "All this I know; and I own, that as Lord
Glenvarloch was the last you played with, you have a right to charge
your ruin on his head. Moreover, I admit, as already said, that Margaret
has made him your rival. Yet surely, now he is in danger to lose his
hand, it is not a time to remember all this?"
"By my faith, but it is, though," said the young citizen. "Lose his
hand, indeed? They may take his head, for what I care. Head and hand
have made me a miserable wretch!"
"Now, were it not better, my prince of flat-caps," said Dame Ursula,
"that matters were squared between you; and that, through means of the
same Scottish lord, who has, as you say, deprived you of your money and
your mistress, you should in a short time recover both?"
"And how can your wisdom come to that conclusion, dame?" said the
apprentice. "My money, indeed, I can conceive--that is, if I comply with
your proposal; but--my pretty Marget!--how serving this lord, whom
she has set her nonsensical head upon, can do me good with her, is far
beyond my conception."
"That is because, in simple phrase," said Dame Ursula, "thou knowest no
more of a woman's heart than doth a Norfolk gosling. Look you, man.
Were I to report to Mistress Margaret that the young lord has miscarried
through thy lack of courtesy in refusing to help him, why, then, thou
wert odious to her for ever. She will loathe thee as she will loathe the
very cook who is to strike off Glenvarloch's hand with his cleaver--and
then she will be yet more fixed in her affections towards this lord.
London will hear of nothing but him--speak of nothing but him--think
of nothing but him, for three weeks at least, and all that outcry will
serve to keep him uppermost in her mind; for nothing pleases a girl so
much as to bear relation to any one who is the talk of the whole world
around her. Then, if he suffer this sentence of the law, it is a chance
if she ever forgets him. I saw that handsome, proper young gentleman
Babington, suffer in the Queen's time myself, and though I was then but
a girl, he was in my head for a year after he was hanged. But, above
all, pardoned or punished, Glenvarloch will probably remain in London,
and his presence will keep up the silly girl's nonsensical fancy about
him. Whereas, if he escapes--"
"Ay, show me how that is to avail me?" said Jenkin. "If he escapes,"
said the dame, resuming her argument, "he must resign the Court for
years, if not for life; and you know the old saying, 'out of sight, and
out of mind.'"
"True--most true," said Jenkin; "spoken like an oracle, most wise
Ursula."
"Ay, ay, I knew you would hear reason at last," said the wily dame; "and
then, when this same lord is off and away for once and for ever, who, I
pray you, is to be pretty pet's confidential person, and who is to fill
up the void in her affections?--why, who but thou, thou pearl of
'prentices! And then you will have overcome your own inclinations to
comply with hers, and every woman is sensible of that--and you will have
run some risk, too, in carrying her desires into effect--and what is it
that woman likes better than bravery, and devotion to her will? Then you
have her secret, and she must treat you with favour and observance, and
repose confidence in you, and hold private intercourse with you, till
she weeps with one eye for the absent lover whom she is never to see
again, and blinks with the other blithely upon him who is in presence;
and then if you know not how to improve the relation in which you stand
with her, you are not the brisk lively lad that all the world takes you
for--Said I well?"
"You have spoken like an empress, most mighty Ursula," said Jenkin
Vincent; "and your will shall be obeyed."
"You know Alsatia well?" continued his tutoress.
"Well enough, well enough," replied he with a nod; "I have heard the
dice rattle there in my day, before I must set up for gentleman, and go
among the gallants at the Shavaleer Bojo's, as they call him,--the worse
rookery of the two, though the feathers are the gayest."
"And they will have a respect for thee yonder, I warrant?"
"Ay, ay," replied Vin, "when I am got into my fustian doublet again,
with my bit of a trunnion under my arm, I can walk Alsatia at midnight
as I could do that there Fleet Street in midday--they will not one of
them swagger with the prince of 'prentices, and the king of clubs--they
know I could bring every tall boy in the ward down upon them."
"And you know all the watermen, and so forth?"
"Can converse with every sculler in his own language, from Richmond to
Gravesend, and know all the water-cocks, from John Taylor the Poet to
little Grigg the Grinner, who never pulls but he shows all his teeth
from ear to ear, as if he were grimacing through a horse-collar."
"And you can take any dress or character upon you well, such as a
waterman's, a butcher's, a foot-soldier's," continued Ursula, "or the
like?"
"Not such a mummer as I am within the walls, and thou knowest that
well enough, dame," replied the apprentice. "I can touch the players
themselves, at the Ball and at the Fortune, for presenting any thing
except a gentleman. Take but this d--d skin of frippery off me, which
I think the devil stuck me into, and you shall put me into nothing else
that I will not become as if I were born to it."
"Well, we will talk of your transmutation by and by," said the dame,
"and find you clothes withal, and money besides; for it will take a good
deal to carry the thing handsomely through."
"But where is that money to come from, dame?" said Jenkin; "there is a
question I would fain have answered before I touch it."
"Why, what a fool art thou to ask such a question! Suppose I am content
to advance it to please young madam, what is the harm then?"
"I will suppose no such thing," said Jenkin, hastily; "I know that you,
dame, have no gold to spare, and maybe would not spare it if you had--so
that cock will not crow. It must be from Margaret herself."
"Well, thou suspicious animal, and what if it were?" said Ursula.
"Only this," replied Jenkin, "that I will presently to her, and learn if
she has come fairly by so much ready money; for sooner than connive at
her getting it by any indirection, I would hang myself at once. It is
enough what I have done myself, no need to engage poor Margaret in such
villainy--I'll to her, and tell her of the danger--I will, by heaven!"
"You are mad to think of it," said Dame Suddlechop, considerably
alarmed--"hear me but a moment. I know not precisely from whom she got
the money; but sure I am that she obtained it at her godfather's."
"Why, Master George Heriot is not returned from France," said Jenkin.
"No," replied Ursula, "but Dame Judith is at home--and the strange lady,
whom they call Master Heriot's ghost--she never goes abroad."
"It is very true, Dame Suddlechop," said Jenkin; "and I believe you have
guessed right--they say that lady has coin at will; and if Marget can
get a handful of fairy-gold, why, she is free to throw it away at will."
"Ah, Jin Vin," said the dame, reducing her voice almost to a whisper,
"we should not want gold at will neither, could we but read the riddle
of that lady!"
"They may read it that list," said Jenkin, "I'll never pry into what
concerns me not--Master George Heriot is a worthy and brave citizen, and
an honour to London, and has a right to manage his own household as he
likes best.--There was once a talk of rabbling him the fifth of November
before the last, because they said he kept a nunnery in his house, like
old Lady Foljambe; but Master George is well loved among the 'prentices,
and we got so many brisk boys of us together as should have rabbled the
rabble, had they had but the heart to rise."
"Well, let that pass," said Ursula; "and now, tell me how you will
manage to be absent from shop a day or two, for you must think that this
matter will not be ended sooner."
"Why, as to that, I can say nothing," said Jenkin, "I have always served
duly and truly; I have no heart to play truant, and cheat my master of
his time as well as his money."
"Nay, but the point is to get back his money for him," said Ursula,
"which he is not likely to see on other conditions. Could you not ask
leave to go down to your uncle in Essex for two or three days? He may be
ill, you know."
"Why, if I must, I must," said Jenkin, with a heavy sigh; "but I will
not be lightly caught treading these dark and crooked paths again."
"Hush thee, then," said the dame, "and get leave for this very evening;
and come back hither, and I will introduce you to another implement,
who must be employed in the matter.--Stay, stay!--the lad is mazed--you
would not go into your master's shop in that guise, surely? Your trunk
is in the matted chamber, with your 'prentice things--go and put them on
as fast as you can."
"I think I am bewitched," said Jenkin, giving a glance towards his
dress, "or that these fool's trappings have made as great an ass of
me as of many I have seen wear them; but let line once be rid of the
harness, and if you catch me putting it on again, I will give you leave
to sell me to a gipsy, to carry pots, pans, and beggar's bantlings, all
the rest of my life." So saying, he retired to change his apparel.