CHAPTER XII

September! Springtime! Buenos Aires with all the handsome trees of its

avenues, its parks and open squares, and of its wide promenades along

the river bank, was turning green as if by magic, offering to the

delighted eye every conceivable shade of verdure. It was as though the

hand of a great and invisible artist were retouching the somewhat faded

picture Winter had turned over to him. He crushed under his swift brush

the emerald of English lawns, spattered canary yellow on the shoots

of young shrubs, with an impatient stroke of the knife scraped from

the leaf fronds their velvety coverings of dull blue, burnt sienna and

fawn, in order to freshen them up with aurora yellow, sepia, cobalt;

poured out on the great parks all the chromes of his cosmic palate;

rejuvenated the willows with ingenious splashes of those gamboge shades

which remind one of fantastic tropical climes; and turned high noon

into a glittering dream of gold. Oh, Springtime in Buenos Aires! Season

of awakening grace and enchanting harmony, with nothing of the torpor

of hot climates, the over-vivid colorings of the tropics, nor of the

sluggishness of those lands where nature puts human energy to sleep

through a long winter! Springtime in Buenos Aires! The air quivers

with a dust of gold, which seems to float down from the brilliant

sky, emanate from the trees, the flowers, and the grass, enveloping

the buildings and transfiguring the human beings who pass through it.

Springtime in Buenos Aires!

But for Monsalvat the spring was a season of sadness. To him the light

and color and sounds of the reinvigorated city were meaningless. He

noticed neither the satisfaction of the plants and grasses in the stir

of life within them, nor the delight shining in the faces about him.

He was alone in the Universe, a stranger to the world he lived in,

for that world was now his enemy; a stranger also, through birth and

station, to the world of those who are down-trodden, and oppressed.

His mother dead, his sister lost, and that other woman in whom his

new life had taken form, as yet unfound, he was alone. The friends of

former times laughed at his ideas and ideals, said he had a new "pose,"

thought him crazy. What could he discuss with them except the trivial

events of the social farce? They neither understood him nor wished to

understand. He was utterly and irrevocably alone. If some one chanced

to mention the beauty of the day, he answered--but to himself--"What

is that to me?" What is there beyond our own sensations? Does even

the material world exist save as our senses make us aware of it? And

his sensations told him that there was nothing but sadness, grief,

loneliness and gloom in all the human beings around him. The world was

his own unhappy creation, the work of his agonized spirit. No, that

Springtide was for him a time of bitterness.

All the while Nacha, with her somewhat ingenuous aspirations to a new

kind of life was hiding at Mlle. Dupont's, Monsalvat had been searching

for her. With Torres, he had sought her at Mme. Annette's toward the

beginning of September, about a month before Nacha had gone there. He

had been also to the house of Juanita Sanmartino, and the more recent

disappointment of not finding Nacha there filled him with gloomy

foreboding. Where was she? No one knew. Torres was certain she had not

returned to her former means of livelihood; for in that case she would

have appeared at one of these houses. It was Torres' theory that she

was living with someone, perhaps some former friend, perhaps a recent

chance acquaintance.

And Eugenia Monsalvat? No one could give him any clue to her

whereabouts either. Had she changed her name? Was she dead? Or dragging

out a wretched existence in the big city's underworld?

Towards the end of September, an appointment as second chief of staff

in a department of the Ministry of Foreign Relations came to distract

Monsalvat from his obsession of loneliness and failure. He began now

to spend all his afternoons working at the Ministry. Some of his

colleagues, who had heard the rumors current about Monsalvat's opinions

and eccentricities, tried to make him talk, to force him to commit

himself; but he maintained his reserve, and skillfully turned aside the

indiscreet insinuations aimed at him.

On a certain morning of this same month, Monsalvat betook himself to

his mother's former lodgings, for he thought it time to call upon the

Morenos. Since the morning when he had suspected that Irene was in

danger of falling in love with him, he had avoided seeing her. What

might such a feeling on her part lead to? Yet, free as he was from

other entanglements why should he not accept the affection of this

pretty and passionate girl? She was experienced enough to know what she

was doing--there would be no deception.... In his solitude, with no

friend on all the wide horizon of his life, why run away from Irene?...

But there was Nacha.... What though his search had been useless, and he

had no news of her, nor any kind of assurance that she ever thought of

him? No; he could not, now, permit himself to love another woman. He

was bound as by a vow. Was he then in love with Nacha? One whole week

he fought out the answer; called himself ridiculous, despised himself,

tried to detach his thoughts from everything which might draw him

towards her; it was of no avail. On the contrary, the more he thought

of her the more he longed to find her. But he had not forgotten Irene.

He did not go to see her; but he sent her money in amounts which to

her family seemed enormous. Irene wrote to thank him and asked to be

allowed to see him in his rooms if he would not come to call on her.

On this September afternoon Monsalvat found the entire Moreno family at

home, to his relief; for he did not want to be alone with Irene.

"My Protector," exclaimed Moreno, at sight of him, "my Doctor, Savior

of my accursed tribe, Light of Legal Science! Model of Generosity!"

Monsalvat protested at these eulogies and tried to escape from Moreno's

determined embrace. His wife was laughing at her husband, and at the

same time, crying, as she kissed Monsalvat's hand and pointed to the

children.

"We cannot permit such modesty, Doctor. We are yours, entirely yours.

To think that the whole Moreno family, and Moreno himself ... _Quantum

mutatus ab illo!_ as Cicero said. You see I do not forget my Latin!

Culture, Doctor! I was a man of law once, I lived among books and

historic cases--and now I am a pauper, a drunkard, a...."

Irene, standing in a corner of the room, covered her face, ashamed.

From the moment Monsalvat had come into the room she had not moved,

waiting for the avalanche of thanks she had foreseen, to pass.

Monsalvat, as embarrassed as she by Moreno's words, finally made his

way through the huddling children and held out his hand to her.

"The flower of my house!" exclaimed Moreno, adding in a melancholy

tone, "Ah, if we were not so poor, I would give her to no one but a

Prince--or--pardon me--to a Dr. Monsalvat, who is like a prince; for he

is a Prince of Jurisprudence...."

Neither Monsalvat nor Irene were listening. Monsalvat had started

when he felt Irene's burning hand in his, and saw her eyes, darkened

with the passion that consumed her. He looked at her a moment and,

not knowing what to say, turned to address Moreno's fawning flattery.

Monsalvat then took leave, saying he had come especially to learn if

Irene had some news for him.

"I am going to tell it to you. Come!" Irene replied with a strange

burst of energy; and she faced him with flashing eyes and quivering

lips.

Monsalvat shook hands with her parents and followed to the narrow

hallway which led to the stairs. Moreno was coming along too but Irene

told him to stay with her mother.

"She gives the orders! Now you see, Doctor, what has become of my

paternal authority. I'm just the watch-dog. I hear and obey, for fear

of the whip! When your career is over, that's what you get! My dear

doctor, I am your servant!" Monsalvat followed Irene down the dark hall

for a few yards. They came closer to one another, his clothing touched

hers. He was conscious of the girl's burning passion, he felt himself

being drawn towards her. In the semi-darkness Irene's brilliant eyes

gleamed strangely.

"Well, what news?" asked Monsalvat uneasily.

"News!" Irene with quick violence pulled Monsalvat's face toward hers

and placed on his mouth her hot, trembling lips.

He turned faint. His will abandoned him. He heard the wild, mad words

Irene was saying. "He must take her away!" She pressed her trembling

body close to his. Suddenly Monsalvat came to himself. Nacha's image

arose before his eyes.... With a strength which came from the depths

of his soul he pushed Irene away from him. This poor passionate girl

was threatening his ideal. All that he had so far accomplished was in

danger of crumbling to dust. The only justification of his life would,

with a moment's weakness, be lost. He said good-bye to her, asked her

to forgive him and walked quietly toward the stairs.

"Don't leave me this way," she cried. "If I can't work for you, live

for you, I shall die, I shall kill myself ... if you won't take me with

you!"

But Monsalvat did not hear. He was already in the street.

Irene, shaken by violent shudders and sobs, with a wild cry, threw

herself against the wall.

After this episode he was more eager than ever to find Nacha. He began

to make the rounds of cabarets, restaurants, and theatres. But day

after day passed, and there was not the slightest news of her. He began

to despair when it occurred to him that the streets might furnish him

the information he so anxiously sought. He became a vagabond, roaming

about hour after hour, morning, afternoon, and night. The avenues in

the centre of the city, those where women of pleasure passed, came

to know him. He thought he saw Nacha, quickened his step, followed

the woman. It was not she. He sought her face in the crowds that all

morning wander idly up and down the _Avenida Florida_. He sought it in

the throngs loitering on the wide promenade when the lights of the shop

windows drive back the shadows of the high buildings. He sought her

among the young and pretty women who surreptitiously pass up and down

the avenue, in quest of bread, love, pleasure. He sought her at night

in the streets leading toward the theatres, the movies, the cabarets.

And his shadow passing up and down these places was no different from

that of a man timidly seeking a daughter of joy. The thousand noises

of the street, the cries of newspaper venders, automobile horns,

street-car gongs, phonographs playing in the shops, the persistent

scraping of shoe leather on the sidewalk, the voices of the toy

venders, of the sellers of lottery tickets, of the flower girls, rang

out in the strange chaotic symphony of the city. But he was deaf to

it all. Lights glittered, electric street-signs flashed; blue, red,

green, yellow lamps shone out from windows, sometimes far above the

street; but he went by unaware of all this nightly brilliancy. The show

windows tempted with jewels, flowers, books; he was blind to them. He

went on, heedless of the marvelous spectacle offered by the streets of

cosmopolitan exuberant, noisy, energetic, restless Buenos Aires. He was

incapable of seeing anything but the face he sought: Nacha's face.

And while he searched for Nacha, he searched the streets for his sister

also. But not with the same eagerness. For Eugenia, whom he scarcely

knew, he had never had much affection. Besides, there was so little

hope of finding her in this fashion! In the ten years that had passed

since he had seen her, the transformation of an innocent twenty year

old girl into a courtesan must have been thoroughly accomplished. How

could he recognize her even if he met her? He wanted to come upon her

and help her, yes;--but from sense of duty; and because of his mother's

last wish.

October now. A month and a half had passed in useless searching.

Discouraged, he thought of giving up all hope, and returning to his

former way of life, since he had failed in his first duty, that of

finding Nacha. He tried to discover arguments to justify his abandoning

what he called his "duty." What was Nacha after all? Well then--was he

going to fall in love with that kind of a woman, and make her represent

an ideal, a duty, a reason for living? Had he brought ruin upon her?

Why did he want to see her?

He began to think that he would never find her, that she was

irrecoverably lost. And it was his fault! It was he who had gone to

see her, tried to influence her, caused trouble between her and her

lover. It was only just that he should help her to regain her moral

independence, the right she shared with every human being to hope and

to love. He could not let her continue in slavery, any more than he

could allow any other human beings whom he, personally, knew, to remain

enslaved! But he hoped also, in saving her, to save himself. It was

not exploitation by others that threatened him, but his own coldness

of fear, and the uselessness of his empty life. He wanted to free

himself from the clutch of vanity, from the all-enveloping net of human

selfishness. He must accomplish something good and great! To redeem the

slaves of degrading labor, of destructive passion, of vice and greed,

there was a man's task. Well, the opportunity for that might come....

But meanwhile there was a girl who was unhappy, who needed his help.

Would it be such a small thing to save her? He could imagine himself

quite content were that accomplished. Suddenly hope sprang up in the

midst of his discouragement. If his tenants refused to allow the

improvements he had wanted to make in the tenement, he would use the

forty thousand _pesos_ of his mortgage in carrying on a thorough search

of the city. Surely Nacha would be found! Before long, however, he

had to part with a considerable sum to pay off his mother's debts;

and to buy from Celedonia some letters of Eugenia's which the mulatto

intimated she could profitably sell to the newspapers. Monsalvat had an

uneasy feeling that this procedure of hers had been suggested by that

enthusiastic admirer of his, Moreno.

One October afternoon Torres, whom he met on the street, exclaimed,

"I have some news. Nacha has gone back to the profession. A few days

ago she was at Madame Annette's." This was a blow as well as a relief.

But his friend's words seemed to summon Nacha from the air. All that

afternoon, all night, all the next day, and the days following, Nacha

was with him, and in the midst of intense suffering he felt a new,

strange joy....

Nacha Regules · 第 12 / 24 章