“And that’s my last word on the subject.”
Embury lighted one cigarette from the stub of another, and deposited
the stub in the ash-tray at his elbow. It was Sunday afternoon, and the
peculiar relaxedness of that day of rest and gladness had somewhat worn
on the nerves of both Sanford and Eunice.
Aunt Abby was napping, and it was too early yet to look for their
expected visitor, Hanlon.
Eunice had been once again endeavoring to persuade her husband to give
her an allowance--a stated sum, however small, that she might depend
upon regularly. The Emburys fulfilled every requirement of the condition
known as “happily married” save for this one item. They were
congenial, affectionate, good-natured, and quite ready to make
allowances for each other’s idiosyncrasies or whims.
With this one exception. Eunice found it intolerable to be cramped and
pinched for small amounts of ready cash, when her husband was a rich
man. Nor was Embury mean, or even economical of nature. He was more
than willing that his wife should have all the extravagant luxuries she
desired. He was entirely ready to pay any and all bills that she might
contract. Never had he chided her for buying expensive or unnecessary
finery--even more, he had always admired her taste and shown pleasure
at her purchases. He was proud of her beauty and willing it should
be adorned. He was proud of her grace and charm and willing that the
household appointments should provide an appropriate setting for her
hospitality. They were both fond of entertaining and never was there
a word of protest from him as to the amounts charged by florists and
caterers.
And yet, by reason of some crank, crotchet or perverse notion, Embury
was unwilling to give his wife what is known as “pin money.”
“Buy your pins at the best jewelers’,” he would laugh, “and send
the bills to me; buy your hats and gowns from the Frenchiest shops--you
can get credit anywhere on my name--Good Lord! Tiger, what more can a
woman want?”
Nor would he agree to her oft-repeated explanations that there were a
thousand and one occasions when some money was an absolute necessity.
Or, if persuaded, he gave her a small amount and expected it to last
indefinitely.
It is difficult to know just what was the reason for this attitude.
Sanford Embury was not a miser. He was not penurious or stingy. He
subscribed liberally to charities, many of them unknown to the public,
or even to his wife, but some trick of nature, some twist in his brain,
made this peculiarity of his persistent and ineradicable.
Now, Eunice Embury was possessed of a quick, sometimes ungovernable
temper. It was because of this that her husband called her Tiger. And
also, as he declared, because her beautiful, lithe grace was suggestive
of “the fearful symmetry” of the forest tribe.
She had tried honestly to control her quick anger, but it would now and
then assert itself in spite of her, and Embury delighted to liken her
to Katherine, and declared that he must tame her as Petruchio tamed his
shrew.
This annoyed Eunice far more than she let him know, for she was well
aware that if he thought it teased her, he would more frequently try
Petruchio’s methods.
So, when she flew into a rage, and he countered with a fiercer anger,
she knew he was assuming it purposely, and she usually quieted down, as
the better part of valor.
On this particular occasion Eunice had taken advantage of a quiet,
pleasant tête-a-tête to bring up the subject.
Embury had heard her pleading, not unkindly, but with a bored air,
and had finally remarked, as she paused in her arguments, “I refuse,
Eunice, to give you a stated allowance. If you haven’t sufficient
confidence in your husband’s generosity to trust him to give you all
you want or need, and even more than that, then you are ungrateful for
what I have given you. And that’s my last word on the subject.”
The rank injustice of this was like iron entering her soul. She knew his
speech was illogical, unfair and even absurd, but she knew no words of
hers could make him see it so.
And in utter exasperation at her own impotence, she flung her
self-control to the winds, and let go of her temper.
“Well, it isn’t my last word on the subject!” she cried. “I have
something further to say!”
“That is your woman’s privilege,” and Embury smiled irritatingly
at her.
“Not only my privilege, but my duty! I owe it to my self-respect, to
my social position, to my standing as your wife--the wife of a prominent
man of affairs--to have at my command a sum of ready money when I need
it. You know perfectly well, I do not want it for anything wrong--or for
anything that I want to keep secret from you. You know I have never had
a secret from you nor do I wish to have! I simply want to do as other
women do--even the poorest, the meanest man, will give his wife an
allowance, a little something that is absolutely her own. Why, most of
the women of my set have a checking account at the bank--they all have a
personal allowance!”
“So?” Embury took up another cigarette. “You may remember, Eunice,
I have spoken my last word on the subject.”
“And you may remember that I have not! But I will--and right now. And
it is simply that since you refuse me the pleasure and convenience of
some money for everyday use, I shall get some from another source.”
Embury’s eyes narrowed, and he surveyed his wife with a calm scrutiny.
Then he smiled.
“Stenography and typewriting?” he said; “or shall you take
in plain sewing? Cut out the threats, Eunice; they won’t get you
anywhere!”
“They’ll get me where I want to arrive! Don’t say I didn’t warn
you--I repeat, I shall get money for my personal use, and you will have
no right to criticize my methods, since you refuse me a paltry sum by
way of allowance.”
Eunice was standing, her two hands tightly grasping a chair-back as
she looked angrily at Embury, who still seated lazily, blew smoke rings
toward her. She was magnificent in her anger, her cheeks burned
crimson, her dark eyes had an ominous gleam in them and her curved
lips straightened into a determined line of scarlet. Her muscles were
strained and tense, her breath came quickly, yet she had full control of
herself and her pose was that of a crouching, waiting tiger rather than
a furious ode.
Embury was full of admiration at the beautiful picture she made, but
pursuant of his inexorable plan, he rose to “tame” her.
“‘Tiger, tiger, burning bright,’“ he quoted, “you must take
back that speech--it is neither pretty nor tactful--”
“I have no wish to be tactful! Why should I? I am not trying to
coax or cajole you! You refuse my request--you have repeatedly refused
me--now, I am at the end of my patience, and I shall take matters into
my own hands!”
“Lovely hands!” he murmured, taking them in his own. “You have
unusually pretty hands, Eunice; it would be a pity to use them to earn
money.”
“Yet that is my intention. I shall get money by the work of these
hands. It will be in a way that you will not approve, but you have
forfeited your right to approve or disapprove.”
“That I have not! I am your husband--you have promised to obey me--”
“A mere form of words--it meant nothing!”
“Our marriage ceremony meant nothing?”
“If it did, remember that you endowed me with all your worldly
goods--”
“And I give them to you, too! Do you know that nine-tenths of my
yearly expenditures are for your pleasure and benefit! I enjoy our home,
too, but it would not be the elaborate, luxurious establishment that it
is, but that it suits your taste to have it so! And then, you whine and
fret for what you yourself call a paltry matter! Ingrate!”
“Don’t you dare call me ingrate! I owe you no gratitude! Do you give
me this home as a charity? As a gift, even! It is my right! And it is
also my right to have a bank account of my own! It is my right to uphold
my head among other women who laugh at me, who ridicule me, because,
with all your wealth, I have no purse of my own! I will not stand it!
I rebel! And you may rest assured things are going to be different
hereafter. I will get money--”
“You shall not!” Embury grasped the wrists of the hands he still
held, and his face was fiercely frowning. “You are my wife, and
whatever you may or may not owe to me, you owe it to our position, to
our standing in the community to do nothing beneath your dignity or
mine!”
“You care nothing for my dignity, for my appearance before other
women, so why should I consider your dignity? You force me to it, and it
is therefore your fault if I--”
“What is it you propose to do? How are you going to get this absurd
paltry sum you are making such a fuss about?”
“That I decline to tell you--”
“Don’t you dare to do needlework or anything that would make me look
foolish. I forbid it!”
“And I scorn your forbidding! Make you look foolish, indeed! When you
make me look foolish every day of my life, because I can’t do as other
women do--can’t have what other wives have--”
“Now, now, Tiger, don’t make such a row over nothing--let’s talk
it over seriously--”
“There’s nothing to talk over. I’ve asked you time and again for
an allowance of money--real money, not charge accounts--and you always
refuse--”
“And always shall, if you are so ugly about it! Why must you fly into
a rage over it? Your temper is--”
“My temper is roused by your cruelty--”
“Cruelty!”
“Yes; it’s as much cruelty as if you struck me! You deny me my
heart’s dearest wish for no reason whatever--”
“It’s enough that I don’t approve of an allowance--”
“It ought to be enough that I do!”
“No, no, my lady! I love you, I adore you, but I am not the sort of
man to lie down and let you walk over me! I give you everything you want
and if I reserve the privilege of paying for it myself, it does not seem
to me a crime!”
“Oh, do hush up, Sanford! You drive me frantic! You prate the same
foolishness, over and over! I don’t want to hear any more about it.
You said you had spoken the last word on the subject, now stop it! I,
too, have said my final say. I shall do as I please, and I shall not
consider myself accountable to you for my actions.”
“Confound it! Do what you please, then! I wash my hands of your
nonsense! But be careful how you carry the name I have given you!”
“If you keep on, I may decide not to carry it at all--”
Eunice was interrupted by the entrance of Ferdinand, announcing the
arrival of Mason Elliott.
Trained in the school of convention, both the Emburys became at once the
courteous, cordial host and hostess.
“Hello, Elliott,” sang out Sanford, “glad to see your bright and
happy face. Come right along and chum in.”
Eunice offered her hand with a welcoming smile.
“Just the boy I was looking for,” she said, “we’ve the jolliest
game on for the afternoon. Haven’t we, San?”
“Fool trick, if you ask me! Howsumever, everything goes. Interested in
thought-transference bunk, Elliott?”
“I know what you’re getting at.” Mason Elliott nodded his head
understandingly. “Hendricks put me wise. So, I says to myself,
s’posin’ I hop along and listen in. Yes, I am interested,
sufficiently so not to mind your jeers about bunk and that.”
“Oh, do you believe in it, Mason?” said Eunice, animatedly; “for
this is a faked affair--or, rather, the explanation of one. It’s the
Hanlon boy, you know--”
“Yes; I know. But what’s the racket with you two turtle-doves? I
come in, and find Eunice wearing the pet expression of a tragedy queen
and Sanford, here, doing the irate husband. Going into the movies?”
“Yes, that’s it,” and Eunice smiled bravely, although her lips
still quivered from her recent turbulent quarrel, and a light, jaunty
air was forced to conceal her lingering nervousness.
“Irate husband is good!” laughed Embury, “considering we are yet
honeymooners.”
“Good dissemblers, both of you,” and Elliott settled himself in
an easy chair, “but you don’t fool your old friend. Talk about
thought-transference--it doesn’t take much of that commodity to read
that you two were interrupted by my entrance in the middle of a real,
honest-to-goodness, cats’-and-dogs’ quarrel.”
“All right, have it your own way,” and Embury laughed shortly;
“but it wasn’t the middle of it, it was about over.”
“All but the making up! Shall I fade away for fifteen minutes?”
“No,” protested Eunice. “It was only one of the little tiffs that
happen in the best families! Now, listen, Mason--”
“My dear lady, I live but on the chance of being permitted to listen
to you--only in the hope that I may listen early and often--”
“Oh, hush! What a silly you are!”
“Silly, is it? Remember I was your childhood playmate. Would you have
kept me on your string all these years if I were silly? And here’s
another of my childhood friends! How do you do, most gracious lady?”
With courtly deference Elliott rose to greet Aunt Abby, who came into
the living-room from Eunice’s bedroom.
Her black silk rustled and her old point lace fell yellowly round her
slender old hands, for on Sunday afternoon Miss Ames dressed the part.
“How are you, Mason,” she said, but with a preoccupied air. “What
time is Mr. Hanlon coming, Eunice?”
“Soon now, I think,” and Eunice spoke with entire composure, her
angry excitement all subdued. It was characteristic of her that after
a fit of temper, she was more than usually soft and gentle. More
considerate of others and even, more roguishly merry.
“You know, Mason, that what we are to be told to-day is a most
inviolable secret--that is, it is a secret until tomorrow.”
“Never put off till to-morrow what you can tell to-night,” returned
Elliott, but he listened attentively while Eunice and Aunt Abby
described the performance of the young man Hanlon.
“Of course,” Elliott observed, a little disappointedly, “if he
says he hoaxed the crowd, of course he did; but in that case I’ve no
interest in the thing. I’d like it better if he were honest.”
“Oh, he’s honest enough,” corrected Embury; “he owns right up
that it was a trick. Why, good heavens, man! if it hadn’t been, he
couldn’t have done it at all. I’m rather keen to know just how
he managed, though, for the yarn of Eunice and Aunt Abby is a bit
mystifying.”
“Don’t depend too much on the tale of interested spectators.
They’re the worst possible witnesses! They see only what they wish to
see.”
“Only what Hanlon wished us to see,” corrected Eunice, gaily. And
then Hanlon, himself, and Alvord Hendricks arrived together.
“Met on the doorstep,” said Hendricks as he came in. “Mr. Hanlon
is a little stage-struck, so it’s lucky I happened along.”
Willy Hanlon, as he was called in the papers, came shyly forward and
Eunice, with her ready tact, proceeded to put him at once at his ease.
“You came just at the right minute to help me out,” she said,
smiling at him. “They are saying women are no good at describing
a scene! They say that we can’t be relied on for accuracy. So, now
you’re here and you can tell what really happened.”
“Yes, ma’am,” and Hanlon swallowed, a little embarrassedly;
“that’s what I came for, ma’am. But first, are you all straight
goods? Will you all promise not to tell what I tell you before tomorrow
morning?”
They all promised on their honor, and, satisfied, Hanlon began his tale.
“You see, it’s a game that can’t be played too often or too close
together,” he said; “I mean, if I put it over around here, I can’t
risk it again nearer than some several states away. And even then it’s
likely to get caught on to.”
“Have you put it over often?” asked Hendricks, interestedly.
“Yes, sir--well, say, about a dozen times altogether. Now I’m going
to chuck it, for it’s too risky. And so, I’ve sold the story of how
I do it to the newspaper syndicate for more than I’d make out of it in
a dozen performances. You can read it all in to-morrow’s papers,
but Mrs. Embury, she asked me to tell it here and I said
yes--’cause--’cause--well, ’cause I wanted to!”
The boyish outburst was so unmistakably one of admiration, of immediate
capitulation to Eunice’s charm, that she blushed adorably, and the
others laughed outright.
“One more scalp, Euny,” said Elliott; “oh, you can’t help it, I
know.”
“Go on, Mr. Hanlon,” said Eunice, and he went on.
“You see, to make you understand it rightly, I must go back a ways.
I’ve done all sorts of magic stunts and I’m kinda fond of athletics.
I’ve given exhibitions along both those lines in athletic clubs and in
ladies’ parlors, too. Well, I had a natural talent for making my ears
move--lots of fellows do that, I know; but I got pretty spry at it.”
“What for?” asked Embury.
“Nothing particular, sir, only one thing led to another. One day I
read in an English magazine about somebody pulling off this trick--this
blindfold chase, and I said to myself I b’lieved I could do it first
rate and maybe make easy money. I don’t deny I’m out after the coin.
I’ve got to get my living, and if I’d rather do it by gulling the
public, why, it’s no more than many a better man does.”
“Right you are,” said Elliott.
“So, ‘s I say, I read this piece that told just how to do it, and I
set to work. You may think it’s funny, but the first step was working
my forehead muscles.”
“Whatever for?” cried Aunt Abby, who was listening, perhaps most
intently of all.
“I’ll tell you, in a jiffy, ma’am,” and Hanlon smiled
respectfully at the eager old face.
“You see, if you’ll take notice, the muscles of your forehead, just
above your eyebrows, work whenever you shut or open your eyes. Yes,
try it, ma’am,” as Aunt Abby wrinkled her forehead spasmodically.
“Shut your eyes, ma’am. Now, cover them closely with the palm of
your left hand. Press it close--so. Now, with your hand there, open your
eyes slowly, and feel your forehead muscles go up. They have to, you
can’t help it. Now, that’s the keynote of the whole thing.”
“Clear as Erebus!” remarked Hendricks. “I don’t get you,
Steve.”
“Nor I,” and Eunice sat with her hand against her eyes, drawing her
lovely brows into contortions.
“Well, never mind trying; I’ll just tell you about it.” Hanlon
laughed good-naturedly at the frantic attempts of all of them to open
their eyes in accordance with his directions.
“Anyhow, you gentleman know, for I know you all belong to a big
athletic club, that if you exercise any set of muscles regularly and for
a long time, they will develop and expand and become greatly increased
in size and strength.”
“Sure,” said Hendricks. “I once developed my biceps--”
“Yes, that’s what I mean. Well, sir, I worked at my forehead muscles
some hours a day for months and I kept at it until I had those muscles
not only developed and in fine working condition but absolutely under my
control. Look!”
They gazed, fascinated, while the strange visitor moved the skin of his
forehead up and down and sideways, and in strange circular movements.
He seemed distinctly proud of his accomplishment and paused for
approbation.
“Marvelous, Holmes, marvelous!” exclaimed Hendricks, who had
discovered that Hanlon did not resent jocularity, “but--what for?”
“Can’t you guess?” and the young man smiled mysteriously.
“Try.”
“Give it up,” and Hendricks shook his head. “I think it’s more
wonderful to get thought-transference by wiggling your forehead than any
other way I ever heard of, but I can’t guess how it helps.”
“Can’t any of you?” and Hanlon looked around the circle.
“Wait a minute,” said Aunt Abby, who was thinking hard. “Let me
try. Is it because when the thought waves jump from the ‘guide’ to
you they strike your forehead first--”
“And it acts as a wireless receiving station? No, ma’am, that
isn’t it. And, too, ma’am, I owned up, you know, that the
whole thing was a fake, a trick. You see, there was no
‘thought-transference,’--not any--none at all.”
“Then what do you accomplish with your forehead muscles?” asked
Eunice, unable to restrain her impatience.