CHAPTER VIII

THE SECOND ENGAGEMENT

Out in the night Jimmy Challoner stood for a moment in the darkness,

not knowing where to go or what to do.

He had had a bad shock. He could have borne it if she had only thrown

him over for that other man; but that she should have thought it worth

while to lie to him about it struck him to the soul. She had made a

fool of him--an utter and complete fool; he would never forgive her as

long as he lived.

After a moment he walked on. He carried his hat in his hand. The cool

night air fanned his hot forehead.

He had lost everything that had made life worth living; that was his

first passionate thought. Nobody wanted him--nobody cared a hang what

became of him; he told himself that he could quite understand poor

devils who jumped off bridges.

He went into the first restaurant he came to, and ordered a neat

brandy; that made him feel better, and he ordered a second on the

strength of it. The first shock had passed; anger took its place.

He would never forgive her; all his life he would never forgive her;

she was not worth a thought. She had never been worth loving.

She was a heartless, scheming woman; little Christine Wyatt had more

affection in the clasp of her hand than Cynthia had in the whole of her

beautiful body.

The thought of Christine recalled Sangster's words.

Sangster was a fool; he did not know what he was talking about.

Christine and he had been sweethearts as children certainly, but that

anything more could ever exist between them was absurd.

But he began to remember the little flush that always crept into

Christine's face when she saw him, the expression of her beautiful

eyes; and the memory gave him back some of his lost self-confidence.

Christine liked him, at all events; Christine would never have behaved

as Cynthia had done . . . Christine. . . . Jimmy Challoner hailed a

passing taxi, and gave the address of the hotel where Christine and her

mother were staying.

His desire for sympathy drove him there; his desire to be with someone

who liked his company. He was bruised all over by the treatment he had

received from Cynthia Farrow; he wanted balm poured on his wounds.

The hall porter told him that Mrs. Wyatt was out, but that he thought

the young lady----

"It's Miss Wyatt I wish to see," said Jimmy impatiently.

After a moment he was asked to come upstairs. He knew the Wyatts had a

private sitting-room. Christine was there by the fire when he entered.

"Jimmy," she said eagerly.

Jimmy Challoner went forward with outstretched hand.

"I hope you don't mind my coming again so soon; but I was

bored--thoroughly fed-up," he explained stumblingly.

Christine looked radiant. She had not yet learned to disguise her true

feelings. Jimmy was still holding her hand; she tried gently to free

it.

"Don't--don't take it away," said Jimmy. The double dose of brandy and

his own agitation had excited him; he drew her over to the fire with

him; he hardly knew what he was doing.

Suddenly: "Will you marry me, Christine?" he said.

There was a sharp silence.

Christine's little face had grown as white as death; her soft brown

eyes were almost tragic.

"Marry you!" She echoed his words in a whisper. "Marry you," she said

again. "Oh, Jimmy!" She caught her breath in something like a sob.

"But--but you don't love me," she said in a pitiful whisper.

Jimmy lost his head.

"I do love you," he declared. "I love you most awfully . . . Say yes,

Christine--say yes. We'll be ever so happy, you and I; we always got

on rippingly, didn't we?"

Nobody had ever made love to Christine before, since the days when

Jimmy Challoner had chased her round the garden for kisses, and she had

always loved him. She felt giddy with happiness. This was a moment

she had longed for ever since that night in the suburban theatre when

she had looked up into the stage box and seen him sitting there.

Jimmy had got his arm round her now; he put his hot cheek to her soft

hair.

"Say yes, Christine," he whispered; but he did not wait for her to say

it. He could be very masterful when he chose, and with sudden

impulsive impatience he bent and kissed her.

Christine burst into tears.

He had swept her off her feet. A moment since she had never dreamed of

anything like this; and now--now her head was on Jimmy Challoner's

shoulder, and his arm round her.

"Don't cry," he said huskily. "Don't cry--I didn't mean to be a brute.

Did I frighten you?"

He was already beginning to realise what he had done. A little cold

shiver crept down his spine.

He had kissed this girl and asked her to marry him; but he did not love

her. There was something still of the old boyish affection for her in

his hearty but nothing more. Remorse seized him.

"Don't cry," he begged again with an effort. "Would you like me to go

away? . . . Oh, don't cry, dear."

Christine dried her eyes.

"It's--it's only be-because I'm so h-happy," she said on the top of a

last sob. "Oh, J-Jimmy--I do love you."

The words sounded somehow infinitely pathetic. Jimmy bit his lip hard.

His arm fell from about her waist.

"I--I'm not half good enough for you," he stammered.

He really meant that. He felt himself a perfect rotter beside her

innocent whole-hearted surrender. Christine was looking at him with

tearful eyes, though her lips smiled tremulously.

"Oh, Jimmy--what will mother say?" she whiskered. "And--and Mr.

Sangster?"

Jimmy laughed outright then. She was such a child. Why on earth

should it matter what Sangster said?

Christine did not know why she had spoken of him at all; but his kind

face had seemed to float into her mind with the touch of Jimmy's lips.

She was glad she had liked him. He was Jimmy's friend; now he would be

her friend, too.

There was an awkward silence. Jimmy made no attempt to kiss her

again--he did not even touch her.

He was thinking of the night when he had asked Cynthia to marry him.

It had been in a taxi--coming home from the theatre. In imagination he

could still smell the scent of the lilies she wore in her fur

coat--still feel the touch of her hair against his cheek.

That had been all rapture; this--he looked at Christine remorsefully.

Poor child, she missed nothing in this strange proposal. Her eyes were

like stars. As she met Jimmy's gaze she moved shyly across to him and

raised her face.

"Kiss me, Jimmy," she said.

Jimmy kissed her very softly on the cheek. She put her hands up to his

broad shoulders.

"And--and you do--really--love me?" she asked wistfully.

Jimmy could not meet her eyes, but--

"Of course I do," he said.

* * * * * *

It was late when Jimmy got back to his rooms that night. Mrs. Wyatt

had insisted on him staying to dinner. There was no doubt that she was

delighted at the turn affairs had taken, though she had said that it

was soon--very soon. They must be engaged a few months at least, to

make sure--quite sure.

She kissed Jimmy--she kissed Christine; she said she was very happy.

Jimmy felt a cad. He was thankful when the evening was ended. He drew

a great breath of relief when he walked away from the hotel.

He was an engaged man--and engaged to Christine. He felt as if someone

had snapped handcuffs on his wrists.

Being Christine's fiancé would mean a very different thing from being

engaged to Cynthia.

The two girls lived very different lives, had been brought up very

differently.

Jimmy had liked the free and easy Bohemianism of the set in which

Cynthia moved; he was not so sure about Christine's.

He was utterly wretched as he walked home. He had tied himself for

life; there would be no slipping out of this engagement.

Poor little Christine! she deserved a better man. He felt acutely

conscious of his own unworthiness.

He walked the whole way home. He was dog tired when he let himself

into his rooms. Sangster rose from a chair by the fire.

Jimmy stifled an oath under his breath as he shut the door.

Sangster was the last man he wished to see at the present moment. He

kept his eyes averted as he came forward.

"Hallo!" he said. "Been here long?"

"All the evening. Thought you'd sure to be in. Costin said you'd be

in to dinner, he thought."

"I meant to . . . stayed with the Wyatts, though."

Jimmy helped himself to a whiskey. He knew that Sangster was watching

him. His gaze got unbearable. He swung round with sharp impatience.

"What the devil are you staring at?" he demanded irritably.

"Nothing. What a surly brute you're getting. Got a cigarette?"

Jimmy threw his case over.

"By the way," he said with overdone carelessness, "I've got some news

for you. It'll be in all the papers to-morrow, so I thought I might as

well tell you first." There was a little pause.

"Well?" said Sangster shortly.

Jimmy struck a match on the sole of his shoe.

"I'm engaged," he said, "to Christine."

It seemed a long, long time before Sangster moved or spoke. After a

moment Jimmy Challoner swung round irritably.

"Well, why don't you say something?" he demanded. "It's a nice

friendly way to receive news. Why the devil don't you say something?"

he asked again angrily.

Sangster said something then; something which Jimmy had never expected.

"You ought to be shot!"

And then the silence fell once more.

Jimmy kicked at the blazing coals furiously; he had got very red.

"You ought to be shot!" said Sangster again. He rose to his feet; he

threw his unsmoked cigarette into the grate and walked towards the door.

Jimmy turned.

"Here--come back! Where are you going? Of all the bad-tempered

beggars----" His face was abashed; there was a sort of wavering in his

voice. He moved a step forward to overtake his friend.

Sangster looked back at him with biting contempt in his honest eyes.

"I'm fed up with you," he said. "Sick to death of you and your

abominable selfishness. I--oh, what's the good of talking----?" He

was gone with a slam of the door.

Jimmy dragged a chair forward and flung himself into it. His face was

a study; now and then he gave a little choked exclamation of rage.

What the deuce did Sangster mean by taking such an attitude? It was

like his infernal cheek. It was no business of his if he chose to get

engaged to Christine and half a dozen other girls at the same time.

Anyone would think he had done a shabby trick by asking her to marry

him; anyone would think that there had been something disgraceful in

having done so; anyone would think----

"Damn it all!" said Jimmy Challoner.

He took a cigarette and lit it; but it went out almost immediately, and

he flung it into the fire and lit another.

In a minute or two he had thrown that away also; he lay back in his

chair and closed his eyes.

He was an engaged man--it was no novelty. He had been engaged before

to a woman whom he adored. Now he was engaged to Christine, the girl

who had been his boyhood's sweetheart; a girl whom he had not seen for

years.

He wondered if she believed that he loved her. He sat up, frowning.

He did love her--of course he did; or, at least, he would when they

were married and settled down. Men always loved their wives--decent

men, that is.

He tried to believe that. He tried to forget the heaps and heaps of

unhappy marriages which had been brought before his notice; friends of

his own--all jolly decent chaps, too.

But, of course, such a thing would never happen to him. He meant to

play the game by Christine, she was a dear little thing. But the face

of Cynthia would rise before his eyes; he could not forget the way she

had cried that evening, and clung to him.

He forgot how she had lied and deceived him; he remembered only that

she loved him--that she admitted that she still loved him.

It was all the cursed money. If only the Great Horatio would come out

of his niggardly shell and stump up a bit! It was not fair--he was as

rich as Croesus; it would not hurt him to fork out another five hundred

a year.

Jimmy leaned his head in his hands; his head was aching badly now; he

supposed it was the quantity of brandy he had drunk. He got up from

his chair, and, turning out the light, went off to bed. But the

darkness seemed worse than the light; it was crowded with pictures of

Cynthia. He saw her face in a thousand different memories; her eyes

drew and tortured him. She was the only woman he had ever loved; he

was sure of that. He was more sure of it with every passing, wakeful

second.

He never slept a wink till it began to get light. When at last he fell

asleep he had dreadful dreams. He woke up to the sound of Costin

moving about the room. He turned over with a stifled groan.

"Good morning, sir," said Costin stolidly.

Jimmy did not condescend to answer. Pale sunlight was pouring through

the window. He closed his eyes; his head still ached vilely. He got

up late, and dressed with a bad grace.

He ate no breakfast. He tried to remember whether he had promised to

go round to the Wyatts' that morning or not; everything was a blank in

his mind except the one fact that he was engaged to Christine.

He could remember that clearly enough, at all events.

About eleven he took his hat and went out. He was annoyed because the

sun was shining; he was annoyed because London was looking cheerful

when he himself felt depressed beyond measure.

Unconsciously he found his way to the Wyatts' hotel; they were both

out, for which he was grateful.

"Miss Wyatt left a message for you in case you called, sir," the porter

told him. "She said would you come back to lunch?"

Jimmy muttered something and walked away. He had no intention of going

back to lunch; he wandered down Regent Street. Presently he found

himself staring in at a jeweller's window. That reminded him; he would

have to buy Christine a ring.

He wondered if Cynthia intended to keep the one he had given to her; it

had cost him a fabulous sum. He had been hard up for weeks afterwards

in consequence; and even then it was not nearly so fine as some she

already had--as some Mortlake could afford to give her, for instance.

He could not yet realise that this detestable thing had really happened

to him. He made up his mind that if Christine would have him, he would

marry her at once. There was nothing to wait for--and he wanted to let

Cynthia see that he was not going to wear the willow for her.

He turned away from the window and the dazzling rows of diamond rings

and walked on. He remembered that he had not answered his brother's

letter; on the spur of the moment he turned into the nearest post

office and sent a cable:

Letter received. Am engaged to Christine Wyatt, of Upton House. You

remember her.--JAMES.

He never signed himself "Jimmy" when he was writing to the Great

Horatio. The cable, together with his brother's address, cost him

fifteen shillings; he grudged the expense, but he supposed it had to be

sent.

He wandered on again up the street.

He had some lunch by himself, and went back to the Wyatts' hotel.

Christine came running down the stairs to meet him; her eyes were

dancing, her face flushed.

"Oh, Jimmy!" she said. She looked as if she expected him to kiss her,

he thought; after a moment he lightly touched her cheek with his lips.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come to lunch," he said stiltedly. "I--er--I had

an engagement. If you care to come out----"

He knew he must sound horribly casual and indifferent; he tried in vain

to infuse some enthusiasm into his voice, but failed.

Christine seemed to notice nothing amiss; she assented eagerly when he

suggested they should go and look at the shops.

"You--er you must have a ring, you know," he said.

His heart smote him when he saw the way her lips trembled. He took her

hand remorsefully.

"I mean to make you very happy," he said. He dropped her hand again

and moved away.

In his mind he kept comparing this with the first days of his

engagement to Cynthia. He had not been tongue-tied and foolish then;

he had not needed to be reminded that it was usual to kiss a girl when

you were engaged to her; he--oh, confound it!

Christine had gone for her hat and coat.

"Mother is not at all well," she said anxiously when she came back.

"Do you know, Jimmy, I have thought sometimes lately that she really

isn't so well and strong as she tries to make me believe."

Jimmy was not impressed; he said that he thought Mrs. Wyatt looked A1;

not a day older than when she had mothered him down at Upton House all

those years ago. Christine was pleased; she adored her mother; she was

quite happy as they left the hotel together.

"You choose what you like," he told her when they were in the

jeweller's shop. The man behind the counter thought him the most

casual lover he had ever yet served. He looked at Christine with a

sort of pity; she was so eager and happy. He brought another tray of

diamond rings.

Christine appealed to Jimmy Challoner.

"I would much rather you chose one for me. Which one would you like

best?"

He shook his head.

"I don't mind--anything you like; you've got to wear it." He saw a

little swift look of amazement in her eyes; he roused himself.

"Diamonds are nice," he said with more enthusiasm.

Christine chose a single stone; the ring just fitted, and she turned

her little hand about delightedly to show Jimmy how the diamond flashed.

She felt as if she were walking on air as they left the shop. Now and

then she glanced at Jimmy as if afraid that she had dreamed all this.

She had loved him all her life; she was sure that he, too, must have

loved her, or he would never have asked her to be his wife.

They had tea together. Over the buttered muffins Jimmy said suddenly:

"Christine, why can't we get married--soon, I mean!"

Lovely colour dyed her face.

"But--but we've only just got engaged," she said breathlessly.

"I know; but engagements are always short nowadays. If you are

willing----"

Apparently she was more than willing; she would have married him that

minute had he suggested it, She said she must speak to her mother about

it.

"There is your brother to tell, too," she said.

"I cabled to him this morning," Jimmy answered.

"Did you!" Her eyes brightened. "How sweet of you, Jimmy. Do you

think he will be pleased?"

"He's never pleased about anything," said Jimmy with a little laugh.

He leaned an elbow on the corner of the table and looked into her eyes.

"Say yes, Christine," he urged. "If you want to marry me, Mrs. Wyatt

won't stand in the way; after all, you've known me all your life."

She flushed and stammered:

"Jimmy--I--I think I'm a little afraid. Supposing--supposing you found

out that--that you'd made a mistake----" Her eyes were troubled.

Jimmy's face caught the flush from hers; for a moment his eyes wavered.

"We're going to be awfully happy," he asserted then, almost violently.

"If you love me----"

"You know I do." His hand fell carelessly to hers.

"Very well, then say yes."

Christine said it.

She thought everything perfect; she had never been so happy in all her

life. If Jimmy did not love her tremendously, he would not be so

anxious to be married, she told herself. Theirs was going to be one of

those romantic marriages of which one reads in books.

"Shall I speak to Mrs. Wyatt, or will you?" he asked her.

"I think I would like to--first," she told him.

"Very well." Jimmy was relieved. He was somehow a little afraid of

Mrs. Wyatt's kind mother eyes; he dreaded lest she might read deep down

into his heart, and know what he was doing--guess that he was only

marrying Christine because--because why?

To forget another woman; to pay another woman out for the way she had

treated him. That is how he would have answered that question had he

been quite honest with himself; but as it was he evaded facing it at

all. He merely contented himself with assuring Christine all over

again that he was going to be very good to her and make her happy.

"I'll tell mother to-night," Christine said when they went back to the

hotel. "And I'll write to you, Jimmy; I'll----" she broke off. The

porter had come forward; he spoke to Jimmy in an undertone.

"May I speak to you a moment, sir?"

Christine moved away.

"If you will ask the young lady to wait, sir," the man said again with

a sort of agitation.

A little flame of apprehension swept across Jimmy's face. He spoke to

Christine.

"Wait for me a moment--just a moment." He turned again to the man.

"Well--well, what is it?"

The man lowered his voice.

"The lady, sir--Mrs. Wyatt; she was taken very ill an hour ago. The

doctor is with her now. I was told to tell you as soon as you came in,

so that you could warn the young lady, sir."

Christine had come forward.

"Is anything the matter?" she asked. She looked from Jimmy to the

porter wonderingly. Jimmy took her hand.

"Your mother isn't very well, dear." The little word slipped out

unconsciously. "There is a doctor with her now. . . . No, don't be

worried. I dare say it's nothing. I'll come up with you and see."

Christine fled up the staircase. She was already in her mother's room

when Jimmy overtook her. Through the half-closed door he could see the

doctor and a woman in nurse's dress. His heart began to race.

Supposing Mrs. Wyatt were really ill; supposing---- The doctor came

out to him as he stood on the landing.

"Are you--are you a relative of Mrs. Wyatt's?" he asked.

Jimmy hesitated.

"I--I am engaged to Miss Wyatt," he said. "I hope--I hope there is

nothing serious the matter?"

The doctor glanced back over his shoulder. Jimmy's eyes instinctively

turned in the same direction; he could see Christine on her knees

beside the bed in the darkened room.

"Mrs. Wyatt is dying, I regret to say," the doctor said; he spoke in a

low voice, so that his words should not reach Christine. "It's only a

question of hours at most. I've done all I can, but nothing can save

her. It's heart trouble, you know; she must have been suffering with

it for years."

Jimmy Challoner stood staring at him, white-faced--stunned.

"Oh, my God!" he said at last. He was terribly shocked; he could not

believe it. He looked again to where Christine knelt by the bed.

"Does she--Christine--who is to tell her?" he asked incoherently.

The doctor shook his head.

"I should suggest that you----" he began.

Jimmy recoiled. "I! Oh, I couldn't. . . . I----" He broke off

helplessly. He was thinking of the old days down at Upton House; the

great kindness that had always been shown to him by Christine's mother.

There was a choking feeling in his throat.

"I think you are the one to tell her," said the doctor again, rather

stiffly.

Christine had heard their voices. She looked towards the door; she

rose softly and came out to where the two men stood.

Her eyes were anxious, but she was a hundred miles from guessing the

truth. She spoke to Jimmy Challoner.

"She's asleep, Jimmy. The nurse tells me that she only fainted. Oh, I

ought not to have left her when I knew she wasn't well. I shall never

forgive myself; but she'll be all right now if she has a nice sleep,

poor darling."

Jimmy could not meet her eyes; he bit his lip hard to hide its sudden

trembling.

The doctor came to Jimmy's rescue.

"Has your mother ever had similar attacks to this one, Miss Wyatt?" he

asked.

Christine considered.

"She hasn't been very well lately. She's complained of being tired

several times, and once she said she had a pain in her side; but----"

She broke off; she looked breathlessly into his face. Suddenly she

caught her breath hard, clutching at Jimmy Challoner's arm.

"Jimmy," she said shrilly.

Jimmy put his arm round her; his voice was all broken when he spoke.

"She's ill, Christine--very ill. Oh, my dear----" He could not go on;

he was very boyish still in many ways, and he felt more like breaking

down and weeping with her than trying to comfort her and help her

through the ordeal she had got to face.

But Christine knew in a minute. She pushed him away; she stood with

hands clasped together, staring before her through the half-closed door

with wide, tragic eyes.

"Mother," she said uncertainly; and then again, "Mother!" And now

there was a wild sort of cry in her voice.

"Christine," said Jimmy huskily. He caught her hand; he tried to hold

her back, but she broke away from him, staggered a few steps, and fell

before either of the men could save her.

The Second Honeymoon · 第 8 / 23 章