LIKE ALL TYROS, I FIND THE RUDIMENTS OF LEARNING EXTREMELY DIFFICULT AND
LABORIOUS, BUT ADVANCE SO RAPIDLY THAT I CAN DO WITHOUT MY MASTER.
A tall, fresh-coloured, but hectic looking young man, stood behind the
counter, making up prescriptions, and a dirty lad, about thirteen years
old, was standing near with his basket to deliver the medicines to the
several addresses, as soon as they were ready. The young man behind the
counter, whose name was Brookes, was within eighteen months of serving
his time, when his friends intended to establish him on his own account,
and this was the reason which induced Mr Cophagus to take me, that I
might learn the business, and supply his place when he left. Mr
Brookes was a very quiet, amiable person, kind to me and the other boy
who carried out the medicines, and who had been taken by Mr Cophagus,
for his food and raiment. The porter told Mr Brookes who I was, and
left me. "Do you think that you will like to be an apothecary?" said
Mr Brookes to me, with a benevolent smile.
"Yes; I do not see why I should not," replied I.
"Stop a moment," said the lad who was waiting with the basket, looking
archly at me, "you hav'n't got through your _rudimans_ yet."
"Hold your tongue, Timothy," said Mr Brookes. "That you are not very
fond of the rudiments, as Mr Cophagus calls them, is very clear. Now
walk off as fast as you can with these medicines, sir--14, Spring
Street; 16, Cleaver Street, as before; and then to John Street, 55, Mrs
Smith's. Do you understand?"
"To be sure I do--can't I read? I reads all the directions, and all
your Latin stuff into the bargain--all your summen dusses, horez, diez,
cockly hairy. I mean to set up for myself one of these days."
"I'll knock you down one of these days, Mr Timothy, if you stay so long
as you do, looking at the print shops; that you may depend upon."
"I keep up all my learning that way," replied Timothy, walking off with
his load, turning his head round and laughing at me, as he quitted the
shop. Mr Brookes smiled, but said nothing.
As Timothy went out, in came Mr Cophagus. "Heh! Japhet--I see," said
he, putting up his cane, "nothing to do--bad--must work--um--and so on.
Mr Brookes--boy learn rudiments--good--and so on." Hereupon Mr
Cophagus took his cane from his nose, pointed to the large iron mortar,
and then walked away into the back parlour. Mr Brookes understood his
master, if I did not. He wiped out the mortar, threw in some drugs,
and, showing me how to use the pestle, left me to my work. In half an
hour I discovered why it was that Timothy had such an objection to what
Mr Cophagus facetiously termed the _rudiment_ of the profession. It
was dreadful hard work for a boy; the perspiration ran down me in
streams, and I could hardly lift my arms. When Mr Cophagus passed
through the shop and looked at me, as I continued to thump away with the
heavy iron pestle, "Good,"--said he, "by-and-by--M.D.--and so on." I
thought it was a very rough road to such preferment, and I stopped to
take a little breath. "By-the-by--Japhet--Christian name -- and so on--
sirname--heh!"
"Mr Cophagus wishes to know your other name," said Mr Brookes,
interpreting.
I have omitted to acquaint the reader that sirnames as well as Christian
names are always given to the children at the Foundling, and in
consequence of the bank note found in my basket, I had been named after
the celebrated personage whose signature it bore. "Newland is my other
name, sir," replied I.
"Newland--heh!--very good name--everybody likes to see that name--and
have plenty of them in his pockets too--um--very comfortable--and so
on," replied Mr Cophagus, leaving the shop.
I resumed my thumping occupation, when Timothy returned with his empty
basket. He laughed when he saw me at work. "Well, how do you like the
rudimans?--and so on--heh?" said he, mimicking Mr Cophagus.
"Not overmuch," replied I, wiping my face.
"That was my job before you came. I have been more than a year, and
never have got out of those rudimans yet, and I suppose I never shall."
Mr Brookes, perceiving that I was tired, desired me to leave off, an
order which I gladly obeyed, and I took my seat in a corner of the shop.
"There," said Timothy, laying down his basket; "no more work for me
_hanty prandium_, is there, Mr Brookes?"
"No, Tim; but _post prandium_, you'll _post_ off again."
Dinner being ready, and Mr Cophagus having returned, he and Mr Brookes
went into the back parlour, leaving Timothy and me in the shop to
announce customers. And I shall take this opportunity of introducing
Mr Timothy more particularly, as he will play a very conspicuous part
in this narrative. Timothy was short in stature for his age, but very
strongly built. He had an oval face, with a very dark complexion, grey
eyes flashing from under their long eyelashes, and eyebrows nearly
meeting each other. He was marked with the small pox, not so much as to
disfigure him, but still it was very perceptible when near to him. His
countenance was always lighted up with merriment; there was such a
happy, devil-may-care expression in his face, that you liked him the
first minute that you were in his company, and I was intimate with him
immediately.
"I say, Japhet," said he, "where did you come from?"
"The Foundling," replied I.
"Then you have no friends or relations."
"If I have, I do not know where to find them," replied I, very gravely.
"Pooh! don't be grave upon it. I hav'n't any either. I was brought up
by the parish, in the workhouse. I was found at the door of a
gentleman's house, who sent me to the overseers--I was about a year old
then. They call me a foundling, but I don't care what they call me, so
long as they don't call me too late for dinner. Father and mother,
whoever they were, when they run away from me, didn't run away with my
appetite. I wonder how long master means to play with his knife and
fork. As for Mr Brookes, what he eats wouldn't physic a snipe. What's
your other name, Japhet?"
"Newland."
"Newland--now you shall have mine in exchange: Timothy Oldmixon at your
service. They christened me after the workhouse pump, which had
`Timothy Oldmixon fecit' on it: and the overseers thought it as good a
name to give me as any other; so I was christened after the pump-maker
with some of the pump water. As soon as I was big enough, they employed
me to pump all the water for the use of the workhouse. I worked at my
_papa_, as I called the pump, all day long. Few sons worked their
father more, or disliked him so much; and now, Japhet, you see, from
habit, I'm pumping you."
"You'll soon pump dry, then, for I've very little to tell you," replied
I; "but, tell me, what sort of a person is our master?"
"He's just what you see him, never alters, hardly ever out of humour,
and when he is, he is just as odd as ever. He very often threatens me,
but I have never had a blow yet, although Mr Brookes has complained
once or twice."
"But surely Mr Brookes is not cross?"
"No, he is a very good gentleman; but sometimes I carry on my rigs a
little too far, I must say that. For as Mr Brookes says, people may
die for want of the medicines, because I put down my basket to play.
It's very true; but I can't give up `peg in the ring' on that account.
But then I only get a box of the ear from Mr Brookes, and that goes for
nothing. Mr Cophagus shakes his stick, and says, `Bad boy--big stick--
um--won't forget--next time--and so on,'" continued Timothy, laughing;
"and it is so on, to the end of the chapter."
By this time Mr Cophagus and his assistant had finished their dinner,
and came into the shop. The former looked at me, put his stick to his
nose, "Little boys--always hungry--um--like good dinner--roast beef--
Yorkshire pudding--and so on," and he pointed with the stick to the back
parlour. Timothy and I understood him very well this time: we went into
the parlour, when the housekeeper sat down with us, and helped us. She
was a terribly cross, little old woman, but as honest as she was cross,
which is all that I shall say in her favour. Timothy was no favourite,
because he had such a good appetite; and it appeared that I was not very
likely to stand well in her good opinion, for I also ate a great deal,
and every extra mouthful I took I sank in her estimation, till I was
nearly at the zero, where Timothy had long been for the same offence;
but Mr Cophagus would not allow her to stint him, saying, "Little boys
must eat--or won't grow--and so on."
I soon found out that we were not only well fed, but in every other
point well treated, and I was very comfortable and happy. Mr Brookes
instructed me in the art of labelling and tying up, and in a very short
time I was very expert; and as Timothy predicted, the rudiments were
once more handed over to him. Mr Cophagus supplied me with good
clothes, but never gave me any pocket-money, and Timothy and I often
lamented that we had not even a halfpenny to spend.
Before I had been many months in the shop, Mr Brookes was able to leave
when any exigence required his immediate attendance. I made up the
pills, but he weighed out the quantities in the prescriptions: if,
therefore anyone came in for medicines, I desired them to wait the
return of Mr Brookes, who would be in very soon. One day, when Mr
Brookes was out, and I was sitting behind the counter, Timothy sitting
on it, and swinging his legs to and fro, both lamenting that we had no
pocket-money, Timothy said, "Japhet, I've been puzzling my brains how we
can get some money, and I've hit it at last; let you and I turn doctors;
we won't send all the people away who come when Mr Brookes is out, but
we'll physic them ourselves." I jumped at the idea, and he had hardly
proposed it, when an old woman came in, and addressing Timothy, said,
"That she wanted something for her poor grandchild's sore throat."
"I don't mix up the medicines, ma'am," replied Timothy; "you must apply
to that gentleman, Mr Newland, who is behind the counter--he
understands what is good for everybody's complaints."
"Bless his handsome face--and so young too! Why, be you a doctor, sir?"
"I should hope so," replied I; "what is it you require--a lotion, or an
embrocation?"
"I don't understand those hard words, but I want some doctor's stuff."
"Very well, my good woman; I know what is proper," replied I, assuming
an important air. "Here, Timothy, wash out this vial very clean."
"Yes, sir," replied Timothy, very respectfully.
I took one of the measures, and putting in a little green, a little
blue, and a little white liquid from the medicine bottles generally used
by Mr Brookes, filled it up with water, poured the mixture into the
vial, corked and labelled it, _haustus statim sumendus_, and handed it
over the counter to the old woman.
"Is the poor child to take it, or is it to rub outside?" inquired the
old woman.
"The directions are on the label;--but you don't read Latin?"
"Deary me, no! Latin! and do you understand Latin? what a nice clever
boy!"
"I should not be a good doctor if I did not," replied I. "On second
thoughts, I consider it advisable and safer, that the application should
be _external_, so I translated the label to her--_Haustus_, rub it
in--_statim_, on the throat--_sumendus_, with the palm of the hand."
"Deary me! and does it mean all that? How much have I to pay, sir?"
"Embrocation is a very dear medicine, my good woman; it ought to be
eighteen-pence, but as you are a poor woman, I shall only charge you
nine-pence."
"I'm sure I thank you kindly," replied the old woman, putting down the
money, and wishing me a good morning as she left the shop.
"Bravo!" cried Timothy, rubbing his hands; "it's halves, Japhet, is it
not?"
"Yes," I replied; "but first we must be honest, and not cheat Mr
Cophagus; the vial is sold, you know, for one penny, and I suppose the
stuff I have taken is not worth a penny more. Now, if we put aside
two-pence for Mr Cophagus, we don't cheat him, or steal his property;
the other seven-pence is of course our own--being the _profits of the
profession_."
"But how shall we account for receiving the two-pence?" said Timothy.
"Selling two vials instead of one: they are never reckoned, you know."
"That will do capitally," cried Timothy; "and now for halves." But this
could not be managed until Timothy had run out and changed the sixpence;
we then each had our three-pence halfpenny, and for once in our lives
could say that we had money in our pockets.