CONSCIENCE AND A COCOA-NUT

With one thing and another Christina, during her first evening in

Aberdeen, had no opportunity of sending her betrothed more than a

postcard announcing her safe arrival; but she went to bed with

every intention of sending him on the morrow the longest and

sweetest letter she had ever written. The receipt of Macgregor's

letter, with all its implied reproaches, however, not only hurt her

feelings, but set her pride up in arms. 'He had nae business to

write as if I was a selfish thing; as if I had nae right to decide

for masel'!' As a matter of fact, her sole reason for accepting

Mrs. Purdie's invitation had been a fear of offending Macgregor's

important relatives by a refusal. Heaven knew she had not wanted

to put 150 miles between her lad and herself at such a time.

Still, as Macgregor might have known by now, it was always a

mistake to try to hustle Christina in any way. Her reply

condescended neither to explanations nor defence. Written in her

superior, and rather high-flown English, which she was well aware

he detested, it practically ignored his epistle and took the form

of an essay on the delights of travel, the charm of residence in

the Northern City, the kindliness and generosity of host and

hostess. She was not without compunction, especially when Uncle

Purdie expressed the hope that she was sending the lad something to

'keep up his pecker,' but she let the letter go, telling herself

that it would be 'good for him.'

The postcard was received by Macgregor after an uneasy night and a

shameful awakening. The meagre message made him more miserable

than angry. In the circumstances it was, he felt bound to admit,

as much as he deserved. Mercifully, Willie had such a 'rotten

head' that he was unable to plague his unhappy friend, and the day

turned out to be a particularly busy one for the battalion. Next

morning brought the letter. Macgregor was furious, until

Conscience asked him what he had to complain about.

Willie, his mischievous self again, got in a nasty one by inquiring

how much he had paid for the cab the night before last.

'Ye dirty spy!' cried Macgregor. 'What for did ye hook it in the

pictur' hoose an' leave her wi' me? She was _your_ affair.'

'I never asked her to spend the evening',' Willie retorted,

truthfully enough, 'Twa's comp'ny.'

Macgregor felt his face growing hot. With an effort he said

coldly: 'If ye had stopped wi' us ye wudna ha'e been back at the

beer an' broke yer pledge.'

'Wha tell't ye I was at the beer?'

'Yer breath, ye eediot!'

'Ho! so ye was pretendin' ye was sleepin' when I spoke to ye!

Cooard to smell a man's breath wi' yer eyes shut!'

Macgregor turned wearily away. 'It's nae odds to me what ye

drink,' he said.

'Ye should think shame to say a thing like that to a chap that

hasna tasted but wance for near a year--at least, for several

months,' said Willie, following. 'But I'll forgive ye like a

Christian. . . . For peety's sake ten' us a tanner. I ha'ena had

a fag since yesterday. I'll no split on ye.' He winked and nudged

Macgregor. 'Maggie's a whale for the cuddlin'--eh?'

It was too much. Macgregor turned and struck, and Willie went

down. Then Macgregor, feeling sick of himself and the whole world,

assisted the fallen one to his feet, shoved a shilling into his

hand, and departed hastily.

He wrote a long, pleading letter to Christina and posted it--in the

cook's fire. Next day he tried again, avoiding personal matters.

The result was a long rambling dissertation on musketry and the

effect of the wind, etcetera, on one's shots, all of which, with

his best love, he forwarded to Aberdeen. In previous letters he

had scarcely ever referred to his training, and then with the

utmost brevity.

The letter, quite apart from its technicalities, puzzled Christina;

and to puzzle Christina was to annoy her. To her mind it seemed to

have been written for the sake of covering so much paper. Of

course she wanted Macgregor to be interested in his work, but not

to the exclusion of herself. She allowed the thing to rankle for

three days. Then, as there was no further word from him, she

became a little alarmed. But it was not in her to write all she

felt, and so she sought to break the tension with something in the

way of a joke.

Thus it came about that on the fifth morning, Macgregor received a

postcard depicting a light-house on a rocky coast and bearing a few

written words, also an oddly shaped parcel. The written words

were:--

'Delighted to hear you are doing so well at the shooting. Sending

prize by same post.

This was better!--more like Christina herself. All was not lost!

Eagerly he tore off the numerous wrappings and disclosed

a--cocoa-nut! In his present state of mind he would have preferred

an infernal machine. A cocoa-nut! She was just laughing at him!

He was about to conceal the nut when Willie appeared.

'My! ye're the lucky deevil, Macgreegor! Frae yer uncle, I

suppose. I'll help ye to crack it. I'll toss ye for the milk--if

there's ony.'

'I'm no gaun to crack it the noo, Wullie,' Macgregor said,

restraining himself.

'At nicht--eh?'

'I'll see.'

By evening, however, Willie was not thinking of cocoa-nuts or,

indeed, of anything in the nature of eatables. His first

experience in firing a rifle had taken place that afternoon and had

left him with an aching jaw and a highly swollen face. On the

morrow he was not much better.

'I'll no be able to use ma late pass the nicht,' he said bitterly.

'I'm no carin' whether I use mines or no,' Macgregor remarked from

the depths of his dejection.

Willie gave him a grostesque wink, and observed: 'I believe ye're

feart to gang into Glesca noo. Oh, they weemen!'

'If ye hadna a face for pies already, I wud gi'e ye yin!'

'Ah, but ye daurna strike a man that's been wounded in his

country's service. Aw, gor, I wisht I had never enlisted! What

country's worth a mug like this? . . . Which girl are ye maist

feart for, Macgreegor?'

Macgregor fled from the tormentor. He had not intended to use his

late pass, but Willie's taunt had altered everything. Afraid? He

would soon show Willie! Also he would show Maggie! Likewise he

would show--Well, Christina had no business to behave as if she

were the only girl in the world, as if he were a fool. He had a

right to enjoy himself, too. He had suffered enough, and the

cocoa-nut was the limit! . . .

'Are ye for Glesca?' Willie persisted when Macgregor was giving

himself a 'tosh up' in the billet.

'Ay, am I!' he snapped at last.

'Hurray for the hero! Weel, gi'e Maggie yin on the squeaker frae

me, an' tell her no to greet for me, because I'm no worthy o' her

pure unselfish love, etceetera. I doobt the weather's gaun to be

ower fine for cabs the nicht, but dinna despair; it's gettin' dark

fairly early noo. Enjoy yersel' while ye're young.'

'That's enough,' said Macgregor. 'Ye needna think ye're the only

chap that kens a thing or twa!' And he left William gaping as

widely as his painful jaw would permit.

On the way to town he decided to leave the whole affair to chance;

that is to say, he would not arrive at the warehouse where the fat

girl was employed until _after_ the usual closing hour of six. If

she had gone, no matter; if she was still there, well, he couldn't

help it.

He arrived at 6.3, and she was there--in her fine feathers, too.

She could not have expected him, he knew, but evidently she had

hoped. He felt flattered and soothed, being unaware that she had

had another swain in reserve in case he should fail her.

'Fancy meetin' you!' she exclaimed, with a start of surprise.

'Where's the bad character?'

'Gumbile,' answered Macgregor, who would not for worlds have

betrayed his friend's lack of skill with the rifle.

'Lang may it bile!' she remarked unfeeling. 'Wha are ye chasm'

the nicht, Macgreegor?'

'You!' he replied more boldly than brightly.

'My! ye're gettin' quite forward-like,' she said, with that

pleasant giggle of hers.

'High time!' said he, recklessly.

After tea they went west and sat in the park. It was a lovely,

hazy evening.

'Wud ye rayther be in a pictur' hoose, Maggie?'

'What's a pictur' hoose to be compared wi' this? If Heaven's like

this, I'm prepared to dee.' With three rose-flavoured jujubes in

her mouth, she sighed and nestled against him.

In silence his arm went round her waist.

* * * * *

While waiting for the car back to camp he wrote on a picture

postcard--'Cocoanut received with thanks. I wish I was dead,'--and

dropped it into a pillar box.

About the same hour, in the billet, Willie was disposing of the

cocoa-nut by raffle, tickets one penny each.

'A queer-like present to get frae yer aunt,' said some one.

'Ay; but she's a queer-like aunt,' said Willie, pocketing the

useful sum of tenpence.

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