After considering the matter at intervals for about thirty years,
Miss Tod, Christina's employer, decided to take a short change of
air by accepting the long-standing invitation of an old and aged
friend who dwelt in the country. The hour of departure arriving,
she shed tears, expressed the fear that she was going to her death,
embraced the girl, handed her the keys of the premises, and
requested her to make any use she pleased of the rather stuffy
living-room behind the shop.
Christina had no notion of accepting the offer until, an hour or
two later, the idea struck her that it would be fun to give a
little tea party for Macgregor and Willie Thomson. She knew Willie
but slightly, but though her respect was no greater than her
knowledge, she had kept a softish corner for him since the day, two
years ago, when he had gone out of his way to inform her,
impudently enough, that his friend Macgregor was not courting a
certain rather bold and attractive damsel called Jessie Mary.
So she wrote forthwith to Macgregor and enclosed the following
invitation, in her neatest writing, for his friend:--
Miss Christina Baldwin requests
the unspeakable pleasure of
Pte. William Thomson's company
to T. T. Tea
on the first evening possible
(Sunday excepted) at 5.30
precisely till 7 prompt.
Menu.
Sandwiches, Sausage Rolls,
Hot Cookies, Cream Dittos,
Macaroons, Cheesecakes,
Currant Cakes, Jam Puffs,
Imperial (_nee_ German) Biscuits,
And
NO BREAD.
God Save the King!
P.S.--Miss C. B. will expect
Pte. W. T. to Ask a Blessing.
It took time and patience on Macgregor's part to persuade his
friend that the missive was not a 'cod'; but once convinced of its
genuineness, Willie took the business seriously. He swore,
however, to have nothing to do with the matter of the P.S.
Nevertheless, in moments of solitude, his lips might have been
observed to move diligently, and it is possible that he was
mentally rehearsing 'For what we are about to receive, etc.' His
written acceptance was a model in its way.
'Coming with thanks,--Yours truly, W. THOMSON.'
By the same post he wrote to his aunt--for cash; but her reply
consisting of a tract headed with a picture of a young man in the
remnants of a bath towel dining in a pig-sty, he was compelled once
more to appeal to Macgregor, who fortunately happened to be fairly
flush. He expended the borrowed shilling on a cane and a packet of
Breath Perfumers for himself, and for Christina a box of toffee
which, being anhungered while on sentry duty the same night, he
speedily devoured with more relish than regret.
Unless we reckon evenings spent in Macgregor's home in the small
boy period, and a funeral or two, Willie's experience of tea
parties was nil. Despite his frequently expressed contempt for
such 'footerin' affairs,' he was secretly flattered by Christina's
invitation. At the same time, he suffered considerable anguish of
mind on account of his ignorance of the 'fancy behaviour' which he
deemed indispensable in the presence of a hostess whom he
considered 'awfu' genteel.' With reluctance, but in sheer
desperation, he applied to his seldom-failing friend.
'What the blazes,' he began with affected unconcern, 'dae ye dae at
a tea pairty?'
'Eat an' jaw,' came the succinct reply.
'But what dae ye jaw aboot?'
'Onything ye like--as long as ye leave oot the bad language.'
'I doobt I'll no ha'e muckle to say,' sighed Willie.
'She'll want to hear aboot the camp an' so on,' Macgregor said, by
way of encouragement.
'But that'll be piper's news to her. You've tell't her----'
'I've never had the time.'