HOW JILL SLEPT UNDISTURBED, AND NOBBY ATTENDED CHURCH PARADE.
"What d'you do," said Berry, "when you want to remember something?"
"Change my rings," said Daphne. "Why?"
"I only wondered. D'you find that infallible?"
My sister nodded.
"Absolutely," she said. "Of course, I don't always remember what I've
changed them for, but it shows me there's something I've forgotten."
"I see. Then you've only got to remember what that is, and there you
are. Why don't I wear rings?"
"Change your shoes instead," said I drowsily. "Or wear your waistcoat
next to your skin. Then, whenever you want to look at your watch, you'll
have to undress. That'll make you think."
"You go and change your face," said Berry. "Don't wait for something to
remember. Just go and do it by deed-poll. And then advertise it in _The
Times_. You'll get so many letters of gratitude that you'll get tired of
answering them."
Before I could reply to this insult--
"I suppose," said my sister, "this means that you can't remember
something which concerns me and really matters."
In guilty silence her husband prepared a cigar for ignition with the
utmost care. At length--
"I wouldn't go as far as that," he said. "But I confess that at the back
of my mind, in, as it were, the upper reaches of my memory, there is a
faint ripple of suggestion for which I cannot satisfactorily account.
Now, isn't that beautifully put?"
With a look of contempt, Daphne returned to the digestion of a letter
which she had that morning received from the United States. Reflectively
Berry struck a match and lighted his cigar. I followed the example of
Jill and began to doze.
With the exception of Jonah, who was in Somerset with the Fairies, we
had been to Goodwood. I had driven the car both ways and was healthily
tired, but the long ride had rendered us all weary, and the prospect of
a full night and a quiet morrow was good to contemplate.
On the following Tuesday we were going out of Town. Of this we were all
unfeignedly glad, for London was growing stale. The leaves upon her
trees were blown and dingy, odd pieces of paper crept here and there
into her parks, the dust was paramount. What sultry air there was seemed
to be second-hand. Out of the pounding traffic the pungent reek of oil
and fiery metal rose up oppressive. Paint three months old was seamed
and freckled. Look where you would, the silver sheen of Spring was dull
and tarnished, the very stones were shabby, and in the summer sunshine
even proud buildings of the smartest streets wore but a jaded look and
lost their dignity. The vanity of bricks stood out in bold relief
unsightly, dressing the gentle argument of Nature with such authority as
set tired senses craving the airs and graces of the countryside and
mourning the traditions of the children of men.
"Adèle," said Daphne suddenly, "is sailing next week."
"Hurray," said Jill, waking up.
"Liverpool or Southampton?" said I.
"She doesn't say. But I told her to come to Southampton."
"I expect she's got to take what she can get; only, when you're making
for Hampshire, it seems a pity to go round by the Mersey."
"I like Adèle," said Berry. "She never seeks to withstand that feeling
of respect which I inspire. When with me, she recognizes that she is in
the presence of a holy sage, and, as it were, treading upon hallowed
ground. Woman," he added, looking sorrowfully upon his wife, "I could
wish that something of her piety were there to lessen your corruption.
Poor vulgar shrew, I weep----"
"She says something about you," said Daphne, turning over a sheet. "Here
you are. _Give Berry my love. If I'd been with you at Oxford, when he
got busy, I should just have died. All the same, you must admit he's a
scream. I'm longing to see Nobby. He sounds as if he were a dog of real
character...._"
"Thank you," said her husband, with emotion. "Thank you very much. 'A
scream,' I think you said. Yes. And Nobby, 'a dog of character.' I can't
bear it."
"So he is," said I. "Exceptional character."
"I admit," said Berry, "he's impartial. His worst enemy can't deny that.
His offerings at the shrine of Gluttony are just as ample as those he
lays before the altar of Sloth."
"All dogs are greedy," said Jill. "It's natural. And you'd be tired, if
you ran about like him."
"He's useful and ornamental and diverting," said I. "I don't know what
more you want."
"Useful?" said Berry, with a yawn. "Useful? Oh, you mean scavenging? But
then you discourage him so. Remember that rotten fish in Brook Street
the other day? Well, he was making a nice clean job of that, he was,
when you stopped him."
"That was a work of supererogation. I maintain, however, that nobody can
justly describe Nobby as a useless dog. For instance----"
The sudden opening of the door at once interrupted and upheld my
contention.
Into the room bustled the Sealyham, the personification of importance,
with tail up, eyes sparkling, and gripped in his large mouth the letters
which had just been delivered by the last post.
As the outburst of feminine approval subsided--
"Out of his own mouth," said I, "you stand confuted."
Either of gallantry or because her welcome was the more compelling, the
terrier made straight for my sister and pleasedly delivered his burden
into her hands. Of the three letters she selected two and then, making
much of the dog, returned a foolscap envelope to his jaws and instructed
him to bear it to Berry. Nobby received it greedily, but it was only
when he had simultaneously spun into the air, growled and, placing an
emphatic paw upon the projecting end, torn the letter half-way asunder,
that it became evident that he was regarding her return of the missive
as a _douceur_ or reward of his diligence.
With a cry my brother-in-law sprang to enlighten him; but Nobby, hailing
his action as the first move in a game of great promise, darted out of
his reach, tore round the room at express speed, and streaked into the
hall.
By dint of an immediate rush to the library door, we were just in time
to see Berry slip on the parquet and, falling heavily, miss the terrier
by what was a matter of inches, and by the time we had helped one
another upstairs, the medley of worrying and imprecations which emanated
from Daphne's bedroom made it clear that the quarry had gone to ground.
As we drew breath in the doorway--
"Get him from the other side!" yelled Berry, who was lying flat on his
face, with one arm under the bed. "Quick! It may be unsporting, but I
don't care. A-a-ah!" His voice rose to a menacing roar, as the rending
of paper became distinctly audible. "Stop it, you wicked swine! D'you
hear? _Stop it!_"
From beneath the bed a further burst of mischief answered him....
Once again feminine subtlety prevailed where the straightforward efforts
of a man were fruitless. As I flung myself down upon the opposite side
of the bed--
"Nobby," said Jill in a stage whisper, "chocolates!"
The terrier paused in his work of destruction. Then he dropped the
mangled remains of the letter and put his head on one side.
"Chocolates!"
The next second he was scrambling towards the foot of the bed....
I gathered together the _débris_ and rose to my feet.
Nobby was sitting up in front of Jill, begging irresistibly.
"What a shame!" said the latter. "And I haven't any for you. And if I
had, I mightn't give you them." She looked round appealingly. "Isn't he
cute?"
"Extraordinary how that word'll fetch him," said I. "I think his late
mistress must have----"
"I'm sure she must," said Berry, taking the ruins of his correspondence
out of my hand. "Perhaps she also taught him to collect stamps. And / or
crests. And do you mean to say you've got no chocolates for him? How
shameful! I'd better run round and knock up Gunter's. Shall I slip on a
coat, or will the parquet do?"
"There's no vice in him," I said shakily. "It was a misunderstanding."
With an awful look Berry gingerly withdrew from what remained of the
envelope some three-fifths of a dilapidated dividend warrant, which
looked as if it had been immersed in water and angrily disputed by a
number of rats.
"It's--it's all right," I said unsteadily. "The company'll give you
another."
"Give me air," said Berry weakly. "Open the wardrobe, somebody, and give
me air. You know, this is the violation of Belgium over again. The
little angel must have been the mascot of a double-breasted Jaeger
battalion in full blast." With a shaking finger he indicated the cheque.
"Bearing this in mind, which would you say he was to-night--useful or
ornamental?"
"Neither the one, nor the other," said I. "Merely diverting."
Expectantly my brother-in-law regarded the ceiling.
"I wonder what's holding it," he said. "I suppose the whitewash has
seized. And now, if you'll assist me downstairs and apply the usual
restoratives, I'll forgive you the two pounds I owe you. There's a
letter I want to write before I retire."
Half an hour later the following letter was dispatched--
_SIR,_
_The enclosed are, as a patient scrutiny will reveal, the remains of a
dividend warrant in my favour for seventy-two pounds five shillings._
_Owing to its dilapidation, which you will observe includes the total
loss of the date, signature and stamp, I am forced to the reluctant
conclusion that your bankers will show a marked disinclination to honour
what was once a valuable security._
_Its reduction to the lamentable condition in which you now see it is
due to the barbarous treatment it received at the teeth and claws of a
dog or hound which, I regret to say, has recently frequented this house
and is indubitably possessed of a malignant devil._
_In fairness to myself I must add, first, that it was through no
improvidence on my part that the domestic animal above referred to
obtained possession of the document, and, secondly, that I made such
desperate efforts to recover it intact as resulted in my sustaining a
fall of considerable violence upon one of the least resilient floors I
have ever encountered. If you do not believe me, your duly accredited
representative is at liberty to inspect the many and various contusions
upon my person any day between ten and eleven at the above address.
Yours faithfully,_
_etc._
_P.S.--My cousin-german has just read this through, and says I've left
out something. I think the fat-head is being funny, but I just mention
it, in case._
_P.P.S.--It's just occurred to me that the fool means I haven't asked
you to send me another one. But you will, won't you?_
* * * * *
For no apparent reason I was suddenly awake.
Invariably a sound sleeper, I lay for a moment pondering the phenomenon.
Then a low growl from the foot of the bed furnished one explanation only
to demand another.
I put up a groping hand and felt for the dangling switch.
For a moment I fumbled. Then from above my head a deeply-shaded lamp
flung a sudden restricted light on to the bed.
I raised myself on an elbow and looked at Nobby.
His body was still curled, with his small strong legs tucked out of
sight, but his head was raised, and he was listening intently.
I put my head on one side and did the same....
Only the hoot of a belated car faintly disturbed the silence.
I looked at my wrist-watch. This showed one minute to one. As I raised
my eyes, an impatient clock somewhere confirmed its tale.
With a yawn I conjured the terrier to go to sleep and reached for the
switch.
As I did so, he growled again.
With my fingers about the "push," I hesitated, straining my ears....
The next moment I was out of bed and fighting my way into my
dressing-gown, while Nobby, his black nose clapped to the sill of the
doorway, stood tense and rigid and motionless as death.
As I picked him up, he began to quiver, and I could feel his heart
thumping, but he seemed to appreciate the necessity for silence, and
licked my face noiselessly.
I switched off the light and opened the door.
There was a lamp burning on the landing, and I stepped directly to the
top of the stairs.
Except that there was a faint light somewhere upon the ground floor, I
could see nothing, but, as I stood peering, the sound of a stealthy
movement, followed by the low grumble of utterance, rose unmistakably to
my ears. Under my left arm Nobby stiffened notably.
For a moment I stood listening and thinking furiously....
It was plain that there was more than one visitor, for burglars do not
talk to themselves, and Discretion suggested that I should seek
assistance before descending. Jonah was out of Town, the men-servants
slept in the basement, the telephone was downstairs. Only Berry
remained.
The faint chink of metal meeting metal and a stifled laugh decided me.
With the utmost caution I stole to the door of my sister's room and
turned the handle. As I glided into the chamber--
"Who's that?" came in a startled whisper.
Before I could answer, there was a quick rustle, a switch clicked, and
there was Daphne, propped on a white arm, looking at me with wide eyes
and parted lips. Her beautiful dark hair was tumbling about her breast
and shoulders. Impatiently she brushed it clear of her face.
"What is it, Boy?"
I laid a finger upon my lips.
"There's somebody downstairs. Wake Berry."
Slowly her husband rolled on to his left side and regarded me with one
eye.
"What," he said, "is the meaning of this intrusion?"
"Don't be a fool," I whispered. "The house is being burgled."
"Gurgled?"
"Burgled, you fool."
"No such word," said Berry. "What you mean is 'burglariously rifled.'
And then you're wrong. Why, there's Nobby."
I could have stamped with vexation.
My sister took up the cudgels.
"Don't lie there," she said. "Get up and see."
"What?" said her husband.
"What's going on."
Berry swallowed before replying. Then--
"How many are there?" he demanded.
"You poisonous idiot," I hissed, "I tell you----"
"Naughty temper," said Berry. "I admit I'm in the wrong but there you
are. You see, it all comes of not wearing rings. If I did, I should have
remembered that a wire came from Jonah just before dinner--it's in my
dinner-jacket--saying he was coming up late to-night with Harry, and
that if the latter couldn't get in at the Club, he should bring him on
here. He had the decency to add 'Don't sit up.'"
Daphne and I exchanged glances of withering contempt.
"And where," said my sister, "is Harry going to sleep?"
Her husband settled himself contentedly.
"That," he said drowsily, "is what's worrying me."
"Outrageous," said Daphne. Then she turned to me. "It's too late to do
anything now. Will you go down and explain? Perhaps he can manage in the
library. Unless Jonah likes to give up his bed."
"I'll do what I can," I said, taking a cigarette from the box by her
side.
"Oh, and do ask if it's true about Evelyn."
"Right oh. I'll tell you as I come back."
"I forbid you," murmured her husband, "to re-enter this room."
I kissed my sister, lobbed a novel on to my brother-in-law's back, and
withdrew before he had time to retaliate. Then I stepped barefoot
downstairs, to perform my mission.
With the collapse of the excitement, Nobby's suspicion shrank into
curiosity, his muscles relaxed, and he stopped quivering. So infectious
a thing is perturbation.
The door of the library was ajar, and the thin strip of light which
issued was enough to guide me across the hall. The parquet was cold to
the touch, and I began to regret that I had not returned for my
slippers.
As I pushed the door open--
"I say, Jonah," I said, "that fool Berry----"
It was with something of a shock that I found myself looking directly
along the barrel of a .45 automatic pistol, which a stout gentleman,
wearing a green mask, white kid gloves, and immaculate evening-dress,
was pointing immediately at my nose.
"There now," he purred. "I was going to say, 'Hands up.' Just like that.
'Hands up.' It's so romantic. But I hadn't expected the dog. Suppose you
put your right hand up."
I shook my head.
"I want that for my cigarette," I said.
For a moment we stood looking at one another. Then my fat _vis-à-vis_
began to shake with laughter.
"You know," he gurgled, "this is most irregular. It's enough to make
Jack Sheppard turn in his grave. It is really. However.... As an
inveterate smoker, I feel for you. So we'll have a compromise." He
nodded towards an armchair which stood by the window. "You go and sit
down in that extremely comfortable armchair--sit well back--and we won't
say any more about the hands."
As he spoke, he stepped forward. Nobby received him with a venomous
growl, and to my amazement the fellow immediately caressed him.
"Dogs always take to me," he added. "I'm sure I don't know why, but it's
a great help."
To my mortification, the Sealyham proved to be no exception to the rule.
I could feel his tail going.
As in a dream, I crossed to the chair and sat down. As I moved, the
pistol moved also.
"I hate pointing this thing at you," said the late speaker. "It's so
suggestive. If you'd care to give me your word, you know.... Between
gentlemen...."
"I make no promises," I snapped.
The other sighed.
"Perhaps you're right," he said. "Lean well back, please.... That's
better."
The consummate impudence of the rogue intensified the atmosphere of
unreality, which was most distracting. Doggedly my bewildered brain was
labouring in the midst of a litter of fiction, which had suddenly
changed into truth. The impossible had come to pass. The cracksman of
the novel had come to life, and I was reluctantly witnessing, in
comparative comfort and at my own expense, an actual exhibition of
felony enriched with all the spices which the cupboard of Sensation
contains.
The monstrous audacity of the proceedings, and the business-like way in
which they were conducted, were almost stupefying.
Most of the silver in the house, including a number of pieces, our
possession of which I had completely forgotten, seemed to have been
collected and laid in rough order upon rugs, which had been piled one
upon the other to deaden noise. One man was taking it up, piece by
piece, scrutinizing it with an eye-glass such as watchmakers use, and
dictating descriptions and particulars to a second, who was seated at
the broad writing-table, entering the details, in triplicate, in a large
order-book. By his side a third manipulated a pair of scales, weighing
each piece with the greatest care and reporting the result to the
second, who added the weight to the description. Occasionally the latter
paused to draw at a cigarette, which lay smouldering in the ash-tray by
his side. As each piece was weighed, the third handed it to a fourth
assistant, who wrapped it in a bag of green baize and laid it gently in
an open suit-case. Four other cases stood by his side, all bearing a
number of labels and more or less the worse for wear.
All four men were masked and gloved, and working with a rapidity and
method which were remarkable. With the exception of the packer, who wore
a footman's livery, they were attired in evening-dress.
"We find it easier," said the master, as if interpreting my thoughts,
"to do it all on the spot. Then it's over and done with. I do hope
you're insured," he added. "I always think it's so much more
satisfactory."
"Up to the hilt," said I cheerfully. "We had it all re-valued only this
year, because of the rise in silver."
"Splendid!"--enthusiastically. "But I'm neglecting you." With his left
hand the rogue picked up an ash-tray and stepped to my side. Then he
backed to the mantelpiece, whence he picked up and brought me a handful
of cigarettes, laying them on the broad arm of my chair. "I'm afraid the
box has gone," he said regretfully. "May I mix you a drink?"
I shook my head.
"I've had my ration. If I'd known, I'd have saved some. You see, I don't
sit up so late, as a rule."
He shrugged his shoulders.
As he did so, my own last words rang familiarly in my ears: "I don't sit
up so late" ... "Don't sit up." ...
Jonah! He and Harry were due to arrive any moment!
Hope leaped up within me, and my heart began to beat violently. I
glanced at the silver, still lying upon the rugs. Slowly it was
diminishing, and the services of a second suit-case would soon be
necessary. I calculated that to complete the bestowal would take the
best part of an hour, and began to speculate upon the course events
would take when the travellers appeared. I began to pray fervently that
Harry would be unable to get in at the Club....
"Now, then, you three," said a reproving voice. "I'm surprised at you."
Daphne!
The rogues were trained to a hair.
Before she was framed in the doorway, the cold steel of another weapon
was pressing against my throat, and the master was bowing in her
direction.
"Madam, I beg that you will neither move nor cry out."
My sister stood like a statue. Only the rise and fall of her bosom
showed that she was alive. Pale as death, her eyes riveted on the
speaker, who was holding his right hand markedly behind him, her unbound
hair streaming over her shoulders, she made a beautiful and arresting
picture. A kimono of softest apricot, over which sprawled vivid
embroideries, here in the guise of parti-coloured dragons, there in that
of a wanton butterfly, swathed her from throat to foot. From the mouths
of its gaping sleeves her shapely wrists and hands thrust out snow-white
and still as sculpture.
For a moment all eyes were upon her, as she stood motionless.... Then
the man with the eye-glass screwed it back into his eye, and resumed his
dictation....
The spell was broken.
The packer left his work and, lifting a great chair bodily with apparent
ease, set it noiselessly by my side.
The master bowed again.
"I congratulate you, madam, upon your great heart. I beg that you will
join that gentleman."
With a high head, My Lady Disdain swept to the spot indicated and sank
into the chair.
"Please lean right back.... Thank you."
The cold steel was withdrawn from my throat, and I breathed more freely.
Nobby wriggled to get to my sister, but I held him fast.
"So it was burglars," said Daphne.
"Looks like it," said I.
I glanced at the leader, who had taken his seat upon the club-kerb. His
right hand appeared to be resting upon his knee.
"I think," said my sister, "I'll have a cigarette." I handed her one
from the pile and lighted it from my own. As I did so--
"_Courage,_" I whispered. "_Jonah ne tardera pas._"
"I beg," said the spokesman, "that you will not whisper together. It
tends to create an atmosphere of mistrust."
My sister inclined her head with a silvery laugh.
"You have a large staff," she said.
"That is my way. I am not a believer in the lone hand. But there you
are. _Quot homines, tot sententicæ,"_ and with that, he spread out his
hands and shrugged his broad shoulders.
Daphne raised her delicate eyebrows and blew out a cloud of smoke.
"'The fewer men,'" she quoted, "'the greater share of--_plunder_.'"
The shoulders began to shake.
"_Touché,_" was the reply. "A pretty thrust, madam. But you must read
further on. 'And gentlemen in _Mayfair_ now abed Shall think themselves
accursed they were not here.' Shall we say that--er--honours are easy?"
And the old villain fairly rocked with merriment.
Daphne laughed airily.
"Good for you," she said. "As a matter of fact, sitting here, several
things look extremely easy."
"So, on the whole, they are. Mind you, lookers-on see the easy side. And
you, madam, are a very privileged spectator."
"I have paid for my seat," flashed my sister.
"Royally. Still, deadhead or not, a spectator you are, and, as such, you
see the easy side. Now, one of the greatest dangers that can befall a
thief is avarice."
"I suppose you're doing this out of charity," I blurted.
"Listen. Many a promising career of--er--appropriation has come to an
abrupt and sordid end, and all because success but whetted where it
should have satisfied." He addressed my sister. "Happily for you, you do
not sleep in your pearls. Otherwise, since you are here, I might have
fallen... Who knows? As it is, pearls, diamonds and the emerald
bracelets that came from Prague--you see, madam, I know them all--will
lie upstairs untouched. I came for silver, and I shall take nothing
else. Some day, perhaps..."
The quiet sing-song of his voice faded, and only the murmur of the
ceaseless dictation remained. Then that, too, faltered and died....
For a second master and men stood motionless. Then the former pointed to
Daphne and me, and Numbers Three and Four whipped to our side.
Somebody, whistling softly, was descending the stairs....
Just as it became recognizable the air slid out of a whistle into a
song, and my unwitting brother-in-law invested the last two lines with
all the mockery of pathos of which his inferior baritone voice was
capable.
"I'm for ever b-b-blowing b-b-bub-b-bles,
B-blinkin' b-bub-b-bles in the air."
He entered upon the last word, started ever so slightly at his
reception, and then stood extremely still.
"Bubbles be blowed," he said. "B-b-burglars, what? Shall I moisten the
lips? Or would you rather I wore a sickly smile? I should like it to be
a good photograph. You know, you can't touch me, Reggibald. I'm in
balk." His eyes wandered round the room. "Why, there's Nobby. And what's
the game? Musical Chairs? I know a better one than that." His eyes
returned to the master. "Now, don't you look and I'll hide in the
hassock! Then, when I say 'Cuckoo,' you put down the musket and wish.
Then--excuse me."
Calmly he twitched a Paisley shawl from the back of the sofa and crossed
to his wife. Tenderly he wrapped it about her feet and knees. By the
time he had finished a third chair was awaiting him, and Numbers Three
and Four had returned to their work.
"Pray sit down," drawled the master. "And lean well back.... That's
right. You know, I'm awfully sorry you left your bed."
"Don't mention it," said Berry. "I wouldn't have missed this for any
thing. How's Dartmoor looking?"
The fat rogue sighed.
"I have not had a holiday," he said, "for nearly two years. And night
work tells, you know. Of course I rest during the day, but it isn't the
same."
"How wicked! And they call this a free country. I should see your M.P.
about it. Or wasn't he up when you called?"
The other shook his head.
"As a matter of fact," he said, "he was out of Town. George, give the
gentleman a match." The packer picked up a match-stand and set it by
Berry's side. "I'm so sorry about the chocolates. You see, I wasn't
expecting----Hullo!"
At the mention of the magical word Nobby had leapt from my unready grasp
and trotted across to the fireplace. There, to my disgust and vexation,
he fixed the master with an expectant stare, and then sat up upon his
hindquarters and begged a sweatmeat.
His favourer began to heave with merriment.
"What an engaging scrap!" he wheezed, taking a chocolate from an
occasional table upon which the contents of a dessert dish had
apparently been emptied. "Here, my little apostate.... Well caught!"
With an irrational rapidity the Sealyham disposed of the first comfit he
had been given for more than six months. Then he resumed the attractive
posture which he had found so profitable. Lazily his patron continued to
respond....
Resentfully I watched the procedure, endeavouring to console myself with
the reflection that in a few hours Nature would assuredly administer to
the backslider a more terrible and appropriate correction than any that
I could devise.
Would Jonah never come?
I stole a glance at the clock. Five and twenty minutes to two. And when
he did come, what then? Were he and Harry to blunder into the slough
waist-high, as we had done? Impossible. There was probably a man
outside--possibly a car, which would set them thinking. Then, even if
the brutes got away, their game would be spoiled. It wouldn't be such a
humiliating walk-over. Oh, why had Daphne come down? Her presence put
any attempt at action out of the question. And why....
A taxi slowed for a distant corner and turned into the street. For a
moment it seemed to falter. Then its speed was changed clumsily, and it
began to grind its way in our direction. My heart began to beat
violently. Again the speed was changed, and the rising snarl choked to
give way to a metallic murmur, which was rapidly approaching. I could
hardly breathe.... Then the noise swelled up, hung for an instant upon
the very crest of earshot, only to sink abruptly as the cab swept past,
taking our hopes with it.
Two-thirds of the silver had disappeared.
Berry cleared his throat.
"You know," he said, "this is an education. In my innocence I thought
that a burglar shoved his swag in a sack and then pushed off, and did
the rest in the back parlour of a beer-house in Notting Dale. As it is,
my only wonder is that you didn't bring a brazier and a couple of
melting-pots."
"Not my job," was the reply. "I'm not a receiver. Besides, you don't
think that all this beautiful silver is to be broken up?" The horror of
his uplifted hands would have been more convincing if both of them had
been empty. "Why, in a very little while, particularly if you travel,
you will have every opportunity of buying It back again in open market."
"But how comic," said Berry. "I should think you're a favourite at
Lloyd's. D'you mind if I blow my nose? Or would that be a _casus
belli_?"
"Not at all"--urbanely. "Indeed, if you would care to give me your
word...."
Berry shook his head.
"Honour among thieves?" he said. "Unfortunately I'm honest, so you must
have no truck with me. Never mind. D'you touch cards at all? Or only at
Epsom?"
Beneath the green mask the mouth tightened, and I could see that the
taunt had gone home. No man likes to be whipped before his underlings.
Nobby profited by the master's silence, and had devoured two more
chocolates before Berry spoke again--this time to me.
"Gentleman seems annoyed," he remarked. "I do hope he hasn't
misconstrued anything I've said. D'you think we ought to offer him
breakfast? Of course, five is rather a lot, but I dare say one of them
is a vegetarian, and you can pretend you don't care for haddock. Or they
may have some tripe downstairs. You never know. And afterwards we could
run them back to Limehouse. By the way, I wonder if I ought to tell him
about the silver which-not. It's only nickel, but I don't want to keep
anything back. Oh, and what about the dividend warrant? Of course it
wants riveting and--er--forging, and I don't think they'd recognize it,
but he could try. If I die before he goes, ask him to leave his address;
then, if he leaves anything behind, the butler can send it on. I
remember I left a pair of bed-socks once at Chatsworth. The Duke never
sent them on, but then they were perishable. Besides, one of them
followed me as far as Leicester. Instinct, you know. I wrote to _The
Field_ about it." He paused to shift uneasily in his seat. "You know, if
I have to sustain this pose much longer, I shall get railway spine or a
hare lip or something."
"Hush," said I. "What did Alfred Austin say in 1895?"
"I know," said Berry. "'Comrades, leave me here a little, while as yet
'tis early morn.' Precisely. But then all his best work was admittedly
done under the eiderdown."
The clock upon the wall was chiming the hour. Two o'clock.
Would Jonah never come?
I fancy the same query renewed its hammering at Berry's brain, for,
after a moment's reflection, he turned to the master.
"I don't wish to presume upon your courtesy," he said, "but will the
executive portion of your night's work finish when that remaining
treasure has been bestowed?"
"So far as you are concerned."
"Oh, another appointment! Of course, this 'summer time' stunt gives you
another hour, doesn't it? Well, I must wish you a warmer welcome."
"That were impossible," was the bland reply "Once or twice, I must
confess, I thought you a little--er, equivocal, but let that pass. I
only regret that Mrs. Pleydell, particularly, should have been so much
inconvenienced."
"Don't mention it," said Berry. "As a matter of fact, we're all very
pleased to have met you. You have interested us more than I can say,
with true chivalry you have abstained from murder and mutilation, and
you have suffered me to blow my nose, when a less courteous visitor
would have obliged me to sniff with desperate and painful regularity for
nearly half an hour. Can generosity go further?"
The rogue upon the club-kerb began to shake with laughter again.
"You're a good loser," he crowed. "I'll give you that. I'm quite glad
you came down. Most of my hosts I never see, and that's dull, you know,
dull. And those I do are so often--er--unsympathetic. Yes, I shall
remember to-night."
"Going to change his rings," murmured Berry.
"And now the highly delicate question of our departure is, I am afraid,
imminent. To avoid exciting impertinent curiosity, you will appreciate
that we must take our leave as artlessly as possible, and that the order
of our going must be characterized by no unusual circumstance, such, for
instance, as a hue and cry. Anything so vulgar as a scene must at all
costs be obviated. Excuse me. Blake!"
Confederate Number One stepped noiselessly to his side and listened in
silence to certain instructions, which were to us inaudible.
I looked about me.
The last of the silver had disappeared. The packer was dismantling the
scales as a preliminary to laying them in the last suit-case. The clerk
was fastening together the sheets which he had detached from the flimsy
order-book. Number Three had taken a light overcoat from a chair and was
putting it on. And the time was six minutes past two....
And what of Jonah? He and Harry would probably arrive about five minutes
too late. I bit my lip savagely....
Again the chief malefactor lifted up his voice.
"It is my experience," he drawled, "that temerity is born, if not of
curiosity, then of ignorance. Now, if there is one vice more than
another which I deplore, it is temerity--especially when it is displayed
by a host at two o'clock of a morning. I am therefore going to the root
of the matter. In short, I propose to satisfy your very natural
curiosity regarding our method of departure, and, incidentally, to show
you exactly what you are up against. You see, I believe in prevention."
His utterance of the last sentences was more silky than ever.
"The constables who have passed this house since half-past twelve will,
if reasonably observant, have noticed the carpet which, upon entering,
we laid upon the steps. A departure of guests, therefore, even at this
advanced hour, should arouse no more suspicion than the
limousine-landaulette which has now been waiting for some nine minutes.
"The lights in the hall will now be turned on, the front door will be
opened wide, and the footman will place the suit-cases in the car, at
the open door of which he will stand, while my colleagues and I--I need
hardly say by this time unmasked--emerge at our leisure, chatting in a
most ordinary way.
"I shall be the last to enter the car--I beg your pardon. To-night I
shall be the last but one"--for an instant he halted, as if to emphasize
the correction--"and my entry will coincide with what is a favourable
opportunity for the footman to assume the cap and overcoat which he must
of necessity wear if his closing of the front door and subsequent
occupation of the seat by the chauffeur are to excite no remark.... You
see, I try to think of everything."
He paused for a moment, regarding the tips of his fingers, as though
they were ungloved. Then--
"Your presence here presents no difficulty. Major and Mrs. Pleydell will
stay in this room, silent ... and motionless ... and detaining the dog.
You"--nonchalantly he pointed an extremely ugly trench-dagger in my
direction--"will vouch with your--er--health for their observance of
these conditions. Be good enough to stand up and place your hands behind
you."
With a glance at Berry, I rose. All things considered, there was nothing
else to be done.
The man whom he had addressed as "Blake" picked up Nobby and, crossing
the room, laid the terrier in Berry's arms. Then he lashed my wrists
together with the rapidity of an expert.
"Understand, I take no chances." A harsh note had crept into the even
tones. "The slightest indiscretion will cost this gentleman extremely
dear."
I began to hope very much that my brother-in-law would appreciate the
advisability of doing as he had been told.
"George, my coat." The voice was as suave as ever again. "Thank you. Is
everything ready?"
Berry stifled a yawn.
"You don't mean to say," he exclaimed, "that you're actually going? Dear
me. Well, well.... I don't suppose you've a card on you? No. Sorry. I
should have liked to remember you in my prayers. Never mind. And you
don't happen to know of a good plain cook, do you? No. I thought not.
Well, if you should hear of one...."
"Carry on."
Blake laid a hand on my shoulder and urged me towards the door. As I was
going, I saw the master bow.
"Mrs. Pleydell," he said, "I have the honour----Dear me! There's that
ridiculous word again. Never mind--the honour to bid _adieu_ to a most
brave lady."
With a faint sneer my sister regarded him. Then--
"_Au revoir,_" she said steadily.
"So long, old bean," said Berry. "See you at Vine Street."
As I passed into the hall, the lights went up and a cap was clapped on
to my head and pulled down tight over my eyes. Then I was thrust into a
corner of the hall, close to the front door. Immediately this was
opened, and I could hear everything happen as we had been led to expect.
Only there was a hand on my shoulder....
I heard the master coming with a jest on his lips.
As he passed me, he was speaking ostensibly to one of his comrades ...
ostensibly....
"I shouldn't wait up for Jonah," he said.
* * * * *
Thanks to the fact that one of the Assistant Commissioners of Police was
an old friend of mine, we were spared much of the tedious interrogation
and well-meant, but in the circumstances utterly futile, attentions of
the subordinate officers of the C.I.D.
Admission to the house had been gained without breaking, and there were
no finger-prints. Moreover, since our visitors had worn masks, such
descriptions of them as we could give were very inadequate. However,
statements were taken from my sister, Berry and myself, and the spurious
telegram was handed over. The insurance company was, of course, informed
of the crime.
Despite the paucity of detail, our description of the gang and its
methods aroused tremendous excitement at Scotland Yard. The master, it
appeared, was a veritable Prince of Darkness. Save that he existed, and
was a man of large ideas and the utmost daring, to whose charge half the
great unplaced robberies of recent years were, rightly or wrongly, laid,
little or nothing was known of his manners or personality.
"I tell you," said the Assistant Commissioner, leaning back and tilting
his chair, "he's just about as hot as they make 'em. And when we do take
him, if ever we do--and that might be to-morrow, or in ten years'
time--we might walk straight into him next week with the stuff in his
hands; you never know--well, when we do take him, as like as not, he'll
prove to be a popular M.P., or a recognized authority on livestock or
something. You've probably seen him heaps of times in St. James's, and,
as like as not, he's a member of your own Club. Depend upon it, the old
sinner moves in those circles which you know are above suspicion. If
somebody pinched your watch at Ascot, you'd never look for the thief in
the enclosure, would you? Of course not. Well, I may be wrong, but I
don't think so. Meanwhile let's have some lunch."
For my sister the ordeal had been severe, and for the thirty hours
following the robbery she had kept her bed. Berry had contracted a
slight cold, and I was not one penny the worse. Jill was overcome to
learn what she had missed, and the reflection that she had mercifully
slept upstairs, while such a drama was being enacted upon the ground
floor, rendered her inconsolable. Jonah was summoned by telegram, and
came pelting from Somerset, to be regaled with a picturesque account of
the outrage, the more purple features of which he at first regarded as
embroidery, and for some time flatly refused to believe. As was to be
expected, Nobby paid for his treachery with an attack of biliousness,
the closing stages of which were terrible to behold. At one time it
seemed as if no constitution could survive such an upheaval; but,
although the final convulsion left him subdued and listless, he was as
right as ever upon the following morning.
The next Sunday we registered what was to be our last attendance of
Church Parade for at least three months.
By common consent we had that morning agreed altogether to eschew the
subject of crime. Ever since it had happened we had discussed the great
adventure so unceasingly that, as Berry had remarked at breakfast, it
was more than likely that, unless we were to take an immediate and firm
line with ourselves, we should presently get Grand Larceny on the brain,
and run into some danger of qualifying, not only for admission to
Broadmoor, but for detention in that institution till His Majesty's
pleasure should be known. For the first hour or two which followed our
resolution we either were silent or discussed other comparatively
uninteresting matters in a preoccupied way; but gradually lack of
ventilation began to tell, and the consideration of the robbery grew
less absorbent.
As we entered the Park at Stanhope Gate--
"Boy, aren't you glad Adèle's coming?" said Jill.
I nodded abstractedly.
"Rather."
"You never said so the other night."
"Didn't I?"
"I suppose, if she comes to Southampton, you'll go to meet her. May I
come with you?"
"Good heavens, yes. Why shouldn't you?"
"Oh, I don't know. I thought, perhaps, you'd rather...."
I whistled to Nobby, whose disregard of traffic was occasionally
conducive to heart failure. As he came cantering up--
"Adèle isn't my property," I said.
"I know, but...."
"But what?"
"I've never seen Nobby look so clean," said Jill, with a daring
irrelevance that took my breath away.
"I observe," said I, "that you are growing up. Your adolescence is at
hand. You are fast emerging from the chrysalis of girlish innocence,
eager to show yourself a pert and scheming butterfly." My cousin
regarded me with feigned bewilderment. "Yes, you've got the baby stare
all right, but you must learn to control that little red mouth. Watch
Daphne."
Jill made no further endeavour to restrain the guilty laughter which was
trembling upon her lips.
"I b-believe you just love her," she bubbled.
I thought very rapidly. Then--
"I think we all do," said I. "She's very attractive."
"I mean it," said Jill.
"So do I. Look at her ears. Oh, I forgot. Hides them under her hair,
doesn't she? Her eyes, then."
"I observe," said Jill pompously, "that you are sitting up and taking
notice. Your adol--adol--er--what you said, is at hand. You are emerging
from the chrysalis of ignorance----"
"This is blasphemy. You wicked girl. And what are you getting at?
Matchmaking or only blackmail?"
"Well, it's time you got married, isn't it? I don't want you to, dear,
but I know you've got to soon, and--and I'd like you to be happy."
There was a little catch in her voice, and I looked down to see her eyes
shining.
"Little Jill," I said, "if I marry six wives, I shall still be in love
with my cousin--a little fair girl, with great grey eyes and the
prettiest ways and a heart of the purest gold. And now shall we cry here
or by The Serpentine?"
She caught at my arm, laughing.
"Boy, you're very----Oh, I say! Where's Nobby?"
We had reached the Achilles Statue, and a hurried retrospect showed me
the terrier some thirty paces away, exchanging discourtesies with an
Aberdeen. The two were walking round each other with a terrible
deliberation, and from their respective demeanours it was transparently
clear that only an immediate distraction could avert the scandal of a
distressing brawl.
Regardless of my surroundings, I summoned the Sealyham in my "parade"
voice. To my relief he started and, after a menacing look at his
opponent, presumably intended to discourage an attack in rear,
cautiously withdrew from his presence and, once out of range, came
scampering in our direction.
My brother-in-law and Daphne, whom we had outdistanced, arrived at the
same time.
As I was reproving the terrier--
"The very people," said a familiar voice.
It was the Assistant Commissioner, labouring under excitement which he
with difficulty suppressed. He had been hurrying, and was out of breath.
"I want you to cross the road and walk along by the side of The Row," he
said jerkily. "If you see anyone you recognize, take off your hat. And,
Mrs. Pleydell, you lower your parasol."
"But, my dear chap," said Berry, "they were all masked."
"Well, if you recognize a voice, or even----"
"A voice? My dear fellow, we're in the open air. Besides, what jury----"
"For Heaven's sake," cried the other, "do as I ask I I know it's a
chance in a million. Think me mad, call me a fool--anything you like ...
but go."
His earnestness was irresistible.
I whistled to Nobby--who had seized the opportunity of straying,
apparently by accident, towards a bull-terrier--and started to stroll in
the direction of The Row. Jill walked beside me, twittering, and a
glance over my shoulder showed me my sister and Berry a horse's length
behind. Behind them, again, came the Assistant Commissioner.
We crossed the road and entered the walk he had mentioned.
It was a beautiful day. The great sun flamed out of a perfect sky, and
there was little or no wind. With the exception of a riding-master and
two little girls The Row was empty, but the walk was as crowded as a
comfortably filled ball-room, if you except the dancers who are sitting
out; for, while three could walk abreast with small inconvenience either
to others or themselves, there was hardly a seat to spare.
I have seen smarter parades. It was clear that many _habitués_ had
already left Town, and that a number of visitors had already arrived.
But there was apparent the same quiet air of gaiety, the same good
humour which fine feathers bring, and, truth to tell, less _ennui_ and
more undisguised enjoyment than I can ever remember.
Idly I talked with Jill, not thinking what I said nor noticing what she
answered, but my heart was pounding against my ribs, and I was glancing
incessantly from side to side in a fever of fear lest I should miss the
obvious.
Now and again I threw a look over my shoulder. Always Berry and Daphne
were close behind. Fervently I wished that they were in front.
I began to walk more slowly....
Suddenly I realized that I was streaming with sweat.
As I felt for my handkerchief--
"Look at Nobby," said Jill. "Whatever's he doing?"
I glanced at my cousin to follow the direction of her eyes.
_Nobby was sitting up, begging, before a large elderly gentleman who was
seated, immaculately dressed, some six paces away. He was affecting not
to see the terrier, but there was a queer frozen look about his broad
smile that set me staring. Even as I gazed he lowered his eyes and
lifting a hand from his knee, began to regard the tips of his fingers,
as though they were ungloved...._
For a second I stood spellbound.
Then I took off my hat.