People may talk about the idleness and indolence of Irishmen, but in my
mind they merely betray their ignorance in so doing. Positively there is
no other country on the face of the earth, the inhabitants of which have
wrought out for themselves so many different professions, occupations,
and ingenious expedients, to make the time pass agreeably: let any change
in the constitution of society require the exercise of any particular
faculty for good or for evil, and straightway the vacancy is filled up
with an expedition and efficiency truly wonderful. Astounding as the
proposition may sound to the wise men and women of the empire, the fact
is, that Irishmen hate idleness; it is an intolerable load to them; they
are ever on the look-out for something to do; and as all parties concede
to them the possession of almost infallible ingenuity, it would be
strange indeed, if, in a spot of land so fertile in adventure, any one of
them should be long at fault in such a pursuit.
That the occupations upon which they occasionally fix, in their amiable
detestation of idleness, are not always the best calculated to promote
the well-being or comforts of the rest of the community, I am quite
free to confess; but this is all matter of taste, and does not at all
interfere with the validity of my argument, which merely seeks to assert
that an Irishman will do anything sooner than be doing nothing. To be
sure they have their propensities, among the most favourite of which are
fighting, farming, and love-making; but should any untoward obstacle
prevent their indulgence in any of these tastes, they by no means sink
into an apathetic despondency like many of their neighbours: they have
too many resources for that, upon some one of which they immediately
fall back with as much zeal and energy as if it had been the original
occupation of their choice. Nor are they fastidious: in the generality
of cases it is quite immaterial to them whether they are practising
gunnery upon a denounced landlord, or figuring in a procession: they are
ready for anything, good, bad, or indifferent--anything but idleness.
It was said of old that were you to put an Irishman on the spit, you
would not long be at a loss for another to turn it. Whoever he was
that first propounded that maxim, certes he knew our nation well; nay,
I would venture to say that in ninety-nine cases an Irishman would
roast his mother, if driven to that melancholy alternative, sooner than
remain either idle or inactive. Joking apart, I wish those who grumble
most about Ireland would give us something to do, and find for us some
rational occupation which might obviate the daily occurrence of those
little extravagances of conduct which render our people a puzzle and a
wonder to better regulated communities.
Such a state of society as this, and such restless activity alone, could
give birth to the extraordinary character whose turbulent career I am
about inditing; but ere I proceed, it would perhaps be well to allude
to the circumstances and emergencies which, on the principles I have
laid down, threw such an individual to the surface. Little more than
allusion will be necessary; for in these days, when so much has been
said and sung about Ireland--while Carleton in his soul-searching tales
anatomises the very inmost heart of our countrymen, and Mrs Hall skims
the surface of all that is good and beautiful amongst us--while attorneys
make fortunes, and lawyers found families, who can be ignorant of the
lamentable mismanagement of property which has beggared so many of our
oldest families? The history of one will almost tell the fate of them
all. Incumbrances accumulating for perhaps half-a-dozen generations,
some probably long before discharged, but still allowed to remain on
record as if unpaid, through mere neglect and carelessness, until the
fact of their ever having been paid falls into oblivion, or becomes
incapable of proof; others permitted to continue, in the hope that some
lucky accident would some time or other, and somehow or other, transfer
them by inheritance to the heir, or else enable him to liquidate them
more conveniently than at the present. At last, in the changes of mortal
affairs, they fall into the hands of strangers or persons who must have
their own. A settlement is demanded--the inheritor finds himself fifty
per cent worse than nothing--redemption is out of the question--he
plunges into tenfold dissipation and extravagance, knowing that he wastes
nothing which it is in his power to retain or retrieve. A short life and
a merry one, is his maxim; to protract it, he litigates every claim right
and left--seeks to baffle every process of the law--calls his tenantry
to his assistance--while they, taking advantage of his distresses, and
the confusion of all rights, assume an independent position, playing
off the landlord and his adversaries against one another--now rebelling
against his weak claims--now affording him protection against the
advances of the law, throwing their weight into whatever scale promises
the most fun and the most advantage--half-a-dozen bailiffs are maimed
or murdered--half-a-dozen examples are made to the offended dignity of
justice. Affairs come to their crisis at last in spite of all opposition.
The attorneys get their costs--the creditors get the surplus--the
unfortunate debtor gets the turn-out--and so ends an old song and an old
family.
This terrible ultimatum of the law did not, however, in all cases put an
end to the hopes and energies of the discomfited litigant. Another card
still remained to be played, by any one reckless and desperate enough to
avail himself of it: this was no less than to rise in open opposition
to all law, set the sheriff and his subalterns at defiance, and hold
possession with a strong hand after the manner of the ancients. Before
matters came to this, the tenantry were usually, from the causes I have
mentioned, sufficiently demoralized for any purpose; and whatever might
have been their previous conduct, those sympathies which seldom fail a
ruined master, were of course roused to their highest pitch; in addition
to which stimulant, it was manifestly their advantage that the reign of
misrule should continue, so that, when a man was thus turned at bay,
there was no saying how the matter might end. I believe it very often
happened, during the weak and uncertain administration of justice in the
past century, that a pertinacious adherence to this desperate line of
policy has tired out the persecution of all adversaries, and been crowned
with final success. Any money, therefore, for a partizan able and willing
to undertake the support of such a desperate cause; one who, while his
principal kept in the background, had no fear or shame to prevent him
from putting himself forward--drilling the tenants--collecting adherents
and information--concentrating all the lawlessness of the district
against the operations of the law--holding his own life at nought, and
the lives of all others at a lower standard, if possible.
In those days society required Dare-devils, and if old stories be true,
Dare-devils galore arose to supply the want. But what were they all to
Mick Connell of Thurles? The desperado whose name is still remembered
with terror and admiration through the district which was the scene of
his turbulent career fifty years ago, was, as my informant described him
to me, a man of the most indomitable resolution, endowed with a strength
of body truly formidable, though of small stature and mean appearance,
and withal one of the most mortal opponents of the king’s writ that
ever figured, even in Tipperary. This fellow was not slow to perceive
that a more pleasing and profitable occupation could be found for the
exercise of the daring qualities which he possessed, than was afforded
in the occasional outbreak at fair or pattern, to which he had hitherto
in his simplicity restricted himself. A gentleman in the neighbourhood
got into difficulties, and, poor man, had not a soul belonging to him
who could direct the laudable exertions his tenants and followers were
willing to make in his behalf, or show them how even to dispose of a
bailiff. Common humanity induced Mick to come forward, and never was an
act of humanity more richly rewarded. The most brilliant and unexpected
success crowned his labours. Under his guidance the tenants became
a phalanx, able to bother the twelve judges themselves, or tire the
patience even of a Chancery suit. Writs were sent out, but had no return,
and now and then the same might be said of the bailiffs who ventured to
bear them. Everything was reduced to the most perfect system; and the
attorneys, dismayed and discomfited, declared themselves conquered by a
line of tactics hitherto unknown, the discoverer of which deserved to be
immortalized. The result was, that the party who had been so fortunate
as to awaken for his service the slumbering energies of this determined
partizan, was allowed an honourable capitulation, while the discovery
of these happy improvements in the noble art of self-defence gained for
Connell himself the character of public benefactor of all distressed
country gentlemen.
His fame increased, and business came thick upon him. Many a man who was
half inclined to die soft before, without one effort to save himself,
took courage now, and hastened to avail himself of the prowess and
protection of this new and unhoped-for auxiliary; until, at length, in
all desperate cases the first step taken was to secure his services. In
process of time his sons grew to manhood, fitted in every respect to
co-operate with such a father; and of course the extent and boldness of
his operations increased along with his family. The local authorities
connived at him; many of them probably having received the benefit of
his assistance already, while the rest of them knew not what day would
fling them upon his protection. Touch Connell!--they would as soon touch
the apples of their own eyes; they might as well yield themselves at
once to the hated touch of the bailiffs. Gratitude for past services,
and a prudent view to those which he might ere long be called to render,
procured him an immunity from the harassing regulations which were
made for the control of gentlemen of his kidney; and, accordingly,
under this reciprocal patronage he grew and flourished, and waxed
famous. Gradually he became enabled to form a gang, and, that point
gained, he became irresistible. The beauty and simplicity of his system
caused it to triumph every where. Debts were at a discount--judgments
were condemned--incumbrances ceased to be a burden--and, alas for the
mutability of mortal greatness, the sheriff, the very sheriff, was so
lightly regarded that not a soul in the place would be bothered bribing
him!
Respectable and remunerative as his line of business had become, it
was not long until a wider field was opened to his increased powers,
and the experience he had accumulated. The representative of an old
and considerable family was threatened with an ejectment by some of
his relatives, who possessed a clearer claim to the property than he
did; while, in addition to the doubtfulness of his cause, he had to
bemoan that the improvident manner in which he lived had deprived him
of the means necessary to defend it. Nor were his troubles confined to
one law-suit. Other parties, conceiving their rights were as feasible
as those of his original adversary, determined on a similar assertion
of them, and on one day the luckless wight was served with, I believe,
no less than four ejectments. I suppose every body is aware of the
indiscretions, irregularities, and extravagances which in that facetious
process are alleged against the person whom it seeks to disturb. I need
not, therefore, say with what amazement the poor man perused the weighty
charges of assault and battery so circumstantially laid against him,
or how deeply he puzzled his memory in ransacking it to discover when
he could, by any possibility, have committed all these outrages. And
who the deuce was John Thrustout, that seemed mixed up so much in the
transaction?--he was a civil fellow, anyhow, for he warned him fairly of
his danger, and advised him to make the best fight he could. “And, by the
powers, so I will,” he ejaculated; “since they say we wallopped them, I
may as well have the gains as the name--let them do their best. If Mike
Connell helps me, I’ll take the hint, and maybe they won’t have truth on
their side the next time they complain of me.”
It usually happens that where a great many people are endeavouring each
to get a blow at one unfortunate, he against whom this united ill will
is directed comes off pretty safe in the scramble. In Ireland, at all
events, the luxury of thrashing one’s neighbour is so highly prized, that
one can bear no interference when enjoying it, and thus a well-meaning
auxiliary in the grateful occupation is likely to fall in for worse
treatment than was originally intended for the first victim. So it was in
the present instance. The discordant interests of the different claimants
bred such confusion and disturbance in the several suits instituted, that
for a long time the poor wretch whom all sought to disinherit was left in
comparative quiet, and leisure was afforded him to overcome the scruples
which Connell raised when it was first proposed to him to undertake the
piece of unheard-of atrocity required of him, no less, in fact, than to
place himself in direct and open outlawry, by seizing possession of the
property in dispute, and holding it by force of arms against all comers.
But the bribe was too large, and the adventure altogether too tempting,
notwithstanding its concomitant perils, for Connell’s virtue or prudence
to persist in refusing; so, casting aside all minor matters as unworthy
of the bright prospects now opening before him, he gathered his troop of
brigands, strengthened it with some new hands, cleared it of all doubtful
characters, and, to use a transatlantic term, squatted in full force on
the disputed territory, dividing its richest farms between himself and
his followers, as the price of his and their services.
Weary on these law-suits!--terminate as they may, they invariably end
by sucking away the very life-blood of the fools who rush into them. In
the case to which I allude, the unfortunate defendant had not the poor
satisfaction of living to see the discomfiture which he had prepared for
his assailants. The daily watch for ruin, still deferred, was to him
as sickening as ever was the watch for hope under like circumstances;
and he died ere it came, leaving his curse among his adversaries on an
average, and his strong injunction to Connell to hold out against them
all--an injunction he was by no means inclined to disobey; for, now that
he had undertaken the job, he was as eager to see out the fun as if he
had himself originally concocted it, not to speak of the snug homesteads
which he and his gang possessed on the sole tenure of their resistance
to all intruders. Accordingly, no sooner had he disposed of the mortal
remains of his defunct employer, than he betook himself with almost
religious zeal to obey his behests, by strengthening himself against the
storm which he foresaw would soon burst upon him. The mansion-house was
a strong substantial building, and there, with a judgment that would
have been creditable to the most eminent general who ever conquered on
a field of battle, he removed his head-quarters, and proceeded to lay
in such stores of food, arms, and ammunition as would enable him to
meet the danger in a manner worthy of the stake he was playing for. It
is needless to paint the dismay which these bold arrangements scattered
through the camps of the various claimants, who thus, at the very moment
when each congratulated himself upon the immediate prospect of snatching
the prize which the operation of nature, anticipating that of law, had
thrown into his hands, found this unexpected and formidable opponent
start up in their path, with his audacious pretensions, so audaciously,
but at the same time so seriously supported. Had there been anything like
confidence among them, their co-operation might probably have effected
his expulsion; but it was not without reason that the cunning freebooter
reckoned upon their mutual distrust precluding the possibility of such a
coalition. Each of course sought to make terms with him; and with each,
of course, he coquetted as naturally as if he had been bred, born, and
reared in the best society, but in vain each importuned him to give up
the possession--to all such demands he returned the same modest answer,
“Truly it would not become an ignorant simple man like him to pretend to
settle a question which puzzled the judges themselves. As soon as the
rightful owner was declared, he would be ready to quit in his favour; but
until then, it was his duty to keep all out with perfect impartiality.”
One of the parties whose demands were thus evaded, happened to be a
wrongheaded, positive sort of customer of the old school, who viewed
the power and decisions of the wigged brotherhood with almost as much
contempt as Connell himself could regard them, and being too impatient to
await the slow and sinuous progress of the law, undertook the desperate
resolution of forcing that redoubted personage to evacuate, even by force
of arms. It never was a hard matter in Tipperary, when a rookawn was
on foot, to gather auxiliaries; and at the time of which I write, the
facilities were perhaps more numerous than ever; not even the formidable
character of the garrison and its commander could deter numbers of
the adventurous spirits of that famed region from the enterprize.
They entered into the spirit of the thing with heart and soul; and,
accordingly, one fine morning, with a goodly band at his heels, and
prepared with all the needful appliances, this old-fashioned vindicator
of his rights set out to storm the stronghold. It is unnecessary to
say that an awful riot ensued--barricades were broken down, outposts
driven in, houses wrecked, and numbers of his then majesty’s subjects
wofully maltreated; until at length, in spite of all opposition, they
reached the house, than which even valour’s self could no further go.
Scaling-ladders and battering-rams were in requisition; the fun began to
thicken, and the result to grow doubtful. Saragossa was not more nobly
defended, nor Badajos more gallantly assailed. It is possible, however,
to push a joke too far, even on the best tempered people; and Connell,
feeling that this was the case, determined to give a gentle intimation
of it to his assailants. A large window had been burst in and ladders
placed against the breach--a rush was made to ascend them in defiance
of the threats which he denounced against whoever should attempt it,
and which he executed by pouring a discharge of fire-arms into the very
thickest of the mass. But it was too late to intimidate; the enraged mob
rushed over the bodies of the fallen--a simultaneous attack was made
upon all points--and, alas for the brave, the post was won. In the melée
that ensued, all escaped but the leader; and before the relatives of the
slain, or the general mass of the victorious party, were aware of his
capture, he was judiciously hurried out of their reach, and handed over
to the civil power on a charge of murder. There is no part of the world,
however, in which the distinction between killing and murder was so well
understood as in Ireland in those days; and in point of fact, I believe
the man was free from the _legal_ charge--at least so it appeared to the
jury who tried him, for he was acquitted. Short-lived, indeed, was the
triumph of his adversaries, and immediately on his liberation they began
to tremble for the security of their tenure. He had sworn that though it
should cost him his life, he would endeavour to recover the premises of
which he had been dispossessed, and they knew him too well to doubt him:
a council of war was held, and the question proposed, should the place be
defended or evacuated? The latter alternative was adopted, not without
good reason; but it was likewise determined that it should never again
afford such protection to Connell as it had, or present an obstacle to
the entry of the legitimate claimant, when fortune should so far favour
him; and in pursuance of this policy the stately mansion was levelled to
the ground--house and offices, even to the walled enclosures, every spot
that could again harbour a freebooter.
But it was not so easy to baffle that indefatigable customer: half of
his resources were not yet expended; his followers, reanimated by his
escape, gathered round him again; and before his dismayed antagonists
recovered from their disappointment, he was strongly and securely
entrenched in an earthen fort of his own construction, in which he
displayed as much science and foresight as would have done credit to
Carnôt. This was the period of his highest triumph: his insolence became
unbounded; and he used, I am informed, to stalk through the streets of
Thurles, on the most public occasions, armed to the teeth, and defying
the best man in the town “to lay a wet finger on him.” It is not to be
supposed that these extraordinary proceedings could fail of reaching the
ears of the high functionaries who were called upon to decide upon the
rights of the rival claimants, and who, not regarding Connell as the
very fittest person to undertake the care of the litigated property,
ordered him to be instantaneously dispossessed, and forwarded writs
to that purport to the sheriff. That officer, no way astray as to the
dangers and difficulties he should encounter in any attempt to dislodge
such a desperado, collected as much of the civil and military force of
the district as was available, and proceeded to execute his perilous
behest. Of course he was resisted, and it was soon found that the most
violent measures should be resorted to. An order was given to storm
the fort, and the attempt was answered by a volley from within, that
tumbled a couple of the assailants, and drove back the remainder. The
conflict became deadly, but so securely were the banditti posted, that
all the efforts of the besiegers made scarce any impression upon them:
cannon alone could be effectual, and a dispatch was sent for it. In
the meantime a general assault was given, with partial success, which
seemed to dishearten Connell so far us that he attempted a sortie for
the purpose of escaping. Two of his sons fell in the melée, but all the
rest of the party succeeded in getting off, leaving some half dozen of
the assailants half dead or dying. He was now, undoubtedly, within the
reach of the law, and warrants were issued for his apprehension; but
for a long time no one dared to attempt executing them, notwithstanding
that very large rewards were offered. At length, a bailiff who had some
private pique against him, to act as an additional stimulant, undertook
the dangerous enterprize--succeeded in dogging him to his retreat, and on
his attempting to snatch a pistol to defend himself, shot him through the
head, and put an end to the career of a real Irish Dare-Devil.