"CAN YOU FORGIVE ME?"
On the evening of the same day Aaron and Rachel were alone in their
house in Prince's Gate. Rose had taken her leave of them, and she and
her father were traveling to Portsmouth, Mr. Moss with a heavy heart;
he was older than Aaron, and was not so courageous in the hour of
adversity.
"What makes you so melancholy, father?" said Rose.
"When you reach my age, Rose," he replied, "I hope you will not
discover that life is a dream."
The remark seemed to him rather fine and philosophical, but had he
been asked to explain its precise meaning he would have found it
difficult.
"I hope I shall, father," said Rose as she leaned back and thought of
her lover; "a happy dream."
"I am glad to get back to you and to our dear home," Rachel was saying
to her husband at the same moment. "You must never send me away again.
Indeed, dear Aaron, if you intend it I shall for once in my life be
rebellious, and shall refuse to go."
She spoke tenderly and playfully, and held his hand in hers, as in the
olden days.
"Nevertheless, my love, your short visit to the seaside has done you
good."
"Yes, dear, I am almost well; I feel much stronger."
"There is the justification," said Aaron. "I am not happy away from
you, but there are occasions when it is our duty to make sacrifices.
This is the longest separation there has been between us in the
twenty-six years of our married life."
"How time has flown!" she mused. "Twenty-six years of happiness. It
has always been the same, dear husband, whether we were poor or rich,
I cannot recall a day in the past without its flower which money could
not purchase."
"You make my task easier, Rachel," said Aaron. "I have something to
disclose to you."
"And it is not good news, love," she said in a tone of much sweetness.
"It is not good news, Rachel. By what means have you divined that?"
"I see without eyes. In the early days of my blindness I used to tell
you that I was acquiring new senses. It is true. Some accent in your
voice, the touch of your hand, conveys the message to my mind, and I
wait in patience, as I am waiting now. Aaron, my dear husband, I have
known for some time past that you have a sorrow which one day you will
ask me to share. How have I known it? I cannot tell, but it is clear
to me. You have not had a joy in your life apart from me. It is my
right, is it not, to share your sorrows?"
"It is your right, Rachel, and you shall share them. I have not been
without my errors; once in the past my footsteps strayed, but in the
straying I inflicted suffering upon no human being."
"Of that I am sure, my love. It is human to err, but it is not in your
nature to inflict suffering or commit an injustice. I am not pressing
you to confide in me before, in your judgment, the proper time
arrives. Nothing can shake my faith and trust in you."
He regarded her in silence a while. The turn the conversation had
taken favored the disclosure of his secret respecting Ruth, but he
feared to speak of that and of his ruin in the same hour. The latter
was the more imperative, because it demanded immediate action, and he
resolved to confine himself to it on this evening.
"Your loving instinct, Rachel, has not misled you. I have a secret
which I have concealed from you."
"Fearing to give me pain, dear husband."
"Yes; and fearing that it would disturb the faith you have in me. I
place so high a value upon it that my life would be dark indeed were I
to lose it."
"That is impossible, dear. Banish the fear from your mind. Were the
hands of all men raised against you I would stand before you as your
shield, and they would not dare to strike. So long as you are by my
side I am happy and content."
"Dear life of my life, you inspire me with hope. But one secret which
oppresses me cannot be divulged to-night. It is of my worldly troubles
I must speak now; the rest shall follow at a more fitting time.
Rachel, for twenty years Heaven has showered prosperity upon me; all
my undertakings have succeeded, and I have heard it said, 'Everything
Aaron Cohen touches turns to gold.' It really has been so. I
accumulated a large fortune, and--with humbleness I say it--no man,
however high or low his station, was the loser by it. But a breath may
destroy what the labors of a lifetime have created. If such a reverse
has come to me, Rachel, how would you accept it?"
"Without murmuring, love," she said, drawing him close to her, and
kissing his lips. "I should have but one regret--that I could not work
for you as you have worked for me. But that, also, is God's will, and
I have never repined. Who would presume to question his wisdom? His
name be praised forever and ever!
"Amen! In our old home in Gosport you were happy."
"I have never been happier, Aaron. I have sometimes felt pride in your
successes, but surely that is pardonable. Love is the most precious
gift that life can bestow. All else is nought. It is our soul life and
dies not with the body."
"You do not value money, Rachel?"
"For the good it may do to others, not for the good it can do to the
possessor; for the suffering it may be made the means of relieving,
for the blessings it may bring into the lives of the afflicted and
unfortunate. Then it becomes Godlike, and when so used the angels
smile approval."
"Dear love, you lighten my burden. When I won you my life was blessed.
Listen, Rachel. This is a dark day for many men who find themselves
fallen from their high estate. Despair sits in many homes at this
hour."
"But not in ours, Aaron, whatever has happened."
"Thank God! It is my happy belief that this hour is not dark for us.
It was my intention, Rachel, to retire altogether from business and
public life, and to that end I took advantage of your absence from
London to settle my affairs. My resolution was prompted by the secret,
the burden of which, although I have not yet disclosed it to you, you
have made it lighter for me to bear. Brought to public knowledge,
which I fear its peculiar nature will render inevitable, it will be
immediately said that I am unfitted to retain my position as a leader
and teacher. To tarry until that judgment was pronounced would be to
aggravate the disaster, and I resolved to anticipate the verdict by
resigning the honors which have been conferred upon me. I have done
so, and I have withstood the pressure that has been put upon me to
withdraw my resignation. An examination of my worldly affairs resulted
in my finding myself in possession of nearly a hundred thousand
pounds. I divided this into three portions, one of which I intended to
retain in order that we might pass what years of life remained to us
in comfort; the second portion I devoted to charity, and it has thus
been distributed; the third portion was devoted to repairing to some
extent the error of which I had been guilty."
He looked at Rachel after he had uttered these words, which he had
spoken with averted head. There was no change in her. Sweetness and
sympathy were expressed in her beautiful face, and it seemed as if her
soul's light dwelt thereon.
"Do you approve, Rachel?"
"Entirely, love. Let me hold your hand."
He continued. "The money I intended for our private use was lodged in
a City bank, and in this bank I hold shares for which I am liable to
the depositors. Yesterday Mr. Moss brought me news of a commercial
crisis in which I discerned----"
"Go on, dear husband, I am prepared for the worst."
"In which I discerned my ruin. This morning I convinced myself that
the news was true."
"And we are poor again," said Rachel in a gentle voice.
"And we are poor again. Everything is lost. I do not know the extent
of my liabilities upon the shares I hold in the bank, but it is
certain that my property in this house and what it contains will
scarcely be sufficient to meet them. I have nothing more to tell of my
worldly trouble, Rachel."
"Dear love," said Rachel sweetly, with her arms around him, "it is a
small trouble, and we will meet it bravely. With all my heart and soul
I will help you to meet it. We cannot remain in the house; the
expenses are too great."
"You echo my own words, Rachel. I have already discharged the
servants, and have paid what is due to them. To-morrow they take their
departure, and we must be content to move into humbler quarters."
"I am content," said Rachel. "I am happy. We have each other. What
does Prissy say?"
"She will not leave us. With or without my consent, she insists upon
sharing our poverty."
"Dear, faithful girl! Let it be as she wishes, love. I know her
constant, devoted nature. She will be a comfort to both of us."
She paused before she spoke again, and then it was in a voice
trembling with emotion.
"We commence a new life to-morrow. O Aaron, dear husband, my heart is
aching, not because we are poor, not for myself, but for you, love,
for you! Aaron, you have said nothing of Ruth. Let this night end your
sorrows, and let me share them now. It is the thought of Ruth that
oppresses you. I feel it, I have known it long, but did not dare to
mention it. Give me all your confidence; I am well, I am strong. There
is nothing I cannot bear for your dear sake."
He could not resist the appeal. In a voice as tremulous as her own he
made confession of his sin, and not for one moment while he spoke
would she relinquish his hand. And when his confession was ended she
held him close in her embrace and mingled her tears with his.
"Can you forgive me, Rachel?"
"It is for me to bless, not to forgive," she sobbed. "For me you
strayed, for me you have suffered. Comfort his bruised heart, O God,
who sees and judges! And, Aaron, dear and honored husband, we have
still a son to bless our days!"