[Day the Ninth]
TWO YOUNG GENTLEMEN LODGE THE NIGHT WITH AN INNKEEPER,
WHEREOF ONE GOETH TO LIE WITH THE HOST'S DAUGHTER, WHILST
HIS WIFE UNWITTINGLY COUCHETH WITH THE OTHER; AFTER WHICH HE
WHO LAY WITH THE GIRL GETTETH HIM TO BED WITH HER FATHER AND
TELLETH HIM ALL, THINKING TO BESPEAK HIS COMRADE.
THEREWITHAL THEY COME TO WORDS, BUT THE WIFE, PERCEIVING HER
MISTAKE, ENTERETH HER DAUGHTER'S BED AND THENCE WITH CERTAIN
WORDS APPEASETH EVERYTHING
Calandrino, who had otherwhiles afforded the company matter for
laughter, made them laugh this time also, and whenas the ladies had
left devising of his fashions, the queen bade Pamfilo tell, whereupon
quoth he, "Laudable ladies, the name of Niccolosa, Calandrino's
mistress, hath brought me back to mind a story of another Niccolosa,
which it pleaseth me to tell you, for that therein you shall see how a
goodwife's ready wit did away a great scandal.
In the plain of Mugnone there was not long since a good man who gave
wayfarers to eat and drink for their money, and although he was poor
and had but a small house, he bytimes at a pinch gave, not every one,
but sundry acquaintances, a night's lodging. He had a wife, a very
handsome woman, by whom he had two children, whereof one was a fine
buxom lass of some fifteen or sixteen years of age, who was not yet
married, and the other a little child, not yet a year old, whom his
mother herself suckled. Now a young gentleman of our city, a sprightly
and pleasant youth, who was often in those parts, had cast his eyes on
the girl and loved her ardently; and she, who gloried greatly in being
beloved of a youth of his quality, whilst studying with pleasing
fashions to maintain him in her love, became no less enamoured of him,
and more than once, by mutual accord, this their love had had the
desired effect, but that Pinuccio (for such was the young man's name)
feared to bring reproach upon his mistress and himself. However, his
ardour waxing from day to day, he could no longer master his desire to
foregather with her and bethought himself to find a means of
harbouring with her father, doubting not, from his acquaintance with
the ordinance of the latter's house, but he might in that event
contrive to pass the night in her company, without any being the
wiser; and no sooner had he conceived this design than he proceeded
without delay to carry it into execution.
Accordingly, in company with a trusty friend of his called Adriano,
who knew his love, he late one evening hired a couple of hackneys and
set thereon two pairs of saddle-bags, filled belike with straw, with
which they set out from Florence and fetching a compass, rode till
they came overagainst the plain of Mugnone, it being by this night;
then, turning about, as they were on their way back from Romagna, they
made for the good man's house and knocked at the door. The host, being
very familiar with both of them, promptly opened the door and Pinuccio
said to him, 'Look you, thou must needs harbour us this night. We
thought to reach Florence before dark, but have not availed to make
such haste but that we find ourselves here, as thou seest at this
hour.' 'Pinuccio,' answered the host, 'thou well knowest how little
commodity I have to lodge such men as you are; however, since the
night hath e'en overtaken you here and there is no time for you to go
otherwhere, I will gladly harbour you as I may.' The two young men
accordingly alighted and entered the inn, where they first eased[434]
their hackneys and after supper with the host, having taken good care
to bring provision with them.
[Footnote 434: _Adagiarono_, _i.e._ unsaddled and stabled and fed
them.]
Now the good man had but one very small bedchamber, wherein were three
pallet-beds set as best he knew, two at one end of the room and the
third overagainst them at the other end; nor for all that was there so
much space left that one could go there otherwise than straitly. The
least ill of the three the host let make ready for the two friends and
put them to lie there; then, after a while neither of the gentlemen
being asleep, though both made a show thereof, he caused his daughter
betake herself to bed in one of the two others and lay down himself
in the third, with his wife, who set by the bedside the cradle wherein
she had her little son. Things being ordered after this fashion and
Pinuccio having seen everything, after a while, himseeming that every
one was asleep, he arose softly and going to the bed where slept the
girl beloved of him, laid himself beside the latter, by whom, for all
she did it timorously, he was joyfully received, and with her he
proceeded to take of that pleasure which both most desired. Whilst
Pinuccio abode thus with his mistress, it chanced that a cat caused
certain things fall, which the good wife, awaking, heard; whereupon,
fearing lest it were otherwhat, she arose, as she was, in the dark and
betook herself whereas she had heard the noise.
Meanwhile, Adriano, without intent aforethought, arose by chance for
some natural occasion and going to despatch this, came upon the
cradle, whereas it had been set by the good wife, and unable to pass
without moving it, took it up and set it down beside his own bed;
then, having accomplished that for which he had arisen, he returned
and betook himself to bed again, without recking of the cradle. The
good wife, having searched and found the thing which had fallen was
not what she thought, never troubled herself to kindle a light, to see
it, but, chiding the cat, returned to the chamber and groped her way
to the bed where her husband lay. Finding the cradle not there, 'Mercy
o' me!' quoth she in herself. 'See what I was about to do! As I am a
Christian, I had well nigh gone straight to our guest's bed.' Then,
going a little farther and finding the cradle, she entered the bed
whereby it stood and laid herself down beside Adriano, thinking to
couch with her husband. Adriano, who was not yet asleep, feeling this,
received her well and joyously and laying her aboard in a trice,
clapped on all sail, to the no small contentment of the lady.
Meanwhile, Pinuccio, fearing lest sleep should surprise him with his
lass and having taken of her his fill of pleasure, arose from her, to
return to his own bed, to sleep, and finding the cradle in his way,
took the adjoining bed for that of his host; wherefore, going a little
farther, he lay down with the latter, who awoke at his coming.
Pinuccio, deeming himself beside Adriano, said, 'I tell thee there
never was so sweet a creature as is Niccolosa. Cock's body, I have had
with her the rarest sport ever man had with woman, more by token that
I have gone upwards of six times into the country, since I left thee.'
The host, hearing this talk and being not overwell pleased therewith,
said first in himself, 'What a devil doth this fellow here?' Then,
more angered than well-advised, 'Pinuccio,' quoth he, 'this hath been
a great piece of villainy of thine, and I know not why thou shouldst
have used me thus; but, by the body of God, I will pay thee for it!!'
Pinuccio, who was not the wisest lad in the world, seeing his mistake,
addressed not himself to mend it as best he might, but said, 'Of what
wilt thou pay me? What canst thou do to me?' Therewithal the hostess,
who thought herself with her husband, said to Adriano, 'Good lack,
hark to our guests how they are at I know not what words together!'
Quoth Adriano, laughing, 'Leave them do, God land them in an ill
year! They drank overmuch yesternight.'
The good wife, herseeming she had heard her husband scold and hearing
Adriano speak, incontinent perceived where and with whom she had been;
whereupon, like a wise woman as she was, she arose forthright, without
saying a word, and taking her little son's cradle, carried it at a
guess, for that there was no jot of light to be seen in the chamber,
to the side of the bed where her daughter slept and lay down with the
latter; then, as if she had been aroused by her husband's clamour, she
called him and enquired what was to do between himself and Pinuccio.
He answered, 'Hearest thou not what he saith he hath done this night
unto Niccolosa?' 'Marry,' quoth she, 'he lieth in his throat, for he
was never abed with Niccolosa, seeing that I have lain here all night;
more by token that I have not been able to sleep a wink; and thou art
an ass to believe him. You men drink so much of an evening that you do
nothing but dream all night and fare hither and thither, without
knowing it, and fancy you do wonders. 'Tis a thousand pities you don't
break your necks. But what doth Pinuccio yonder? Why bideth he not in
his own bed?' Adriano, on his part, seeing how adroitly the good wife
went about to cover her own shame and that of her daughter, chimed in
with, 'Pinuccio, I have told thee an hundred times not to go abroad,
for that this thy trick of arising in thy sleep and telling for true
the extravagances thou dreamest will bring thee into trouble some day
or other. Come back here, God give thee an ill night!'
The host, hearing what his wife and Adriano said, began to believe in
good earnest that Pinuccio was dreaming; and accordingly, taking him
by the shoulders, he fell to shaking and calling him, saying,
'Pinuccio, awake; return to thine own bed.' Pinuccio having
apprehended all that had been said began to wander off into other
extravagances, after the fashion of a man a-dream; whereat the host
set up the heartiest laughter in the world. At last, he made believe
to awake for stress of shaking, and calling to Adriano, said, 'Is it
already day, that thou callest me?' 'Ay,' answered the other, 'come
hither.' Accordingly, Pinuccio, dissembling and making a show of being
sleepy-eyed, arose at last from beside the host and went back to bed
with Adriano. The day come and they being risen, the host fell to
laughing and mocking at Pinuccio and his dreams; and so they passed
from one jest to another, till the young men, having saddled their
rounceys and strapped on their valises and drunken with the host,
remounted to horse and rode away to Florence, no less content with the
manner in which the thing had betided than with the effect itself
thereof. Thereafter Pinuccio found other means of foregathering with
Niccolosa, who vowed to her mother that he had certainly dreamt the
thing; wherefore the goodwife, remembering her of Adriano's
embracements, inwardly avouched herself alone to have waked."