[Day the Seventh]
GIANNI LOTTERINGHI HEARETH KNOCK AT HIS DOOR BY NIGHT AND
AWAKENETH HIS WIFE, WHO GIVETH HIM TO BELIEVE THAT IT IS A
PHANTOM; WHEREUPON THEY GO TO EXORCISE IT WITH A CERTAIN
ORISON AND THE KNOCKING CEASETH
"My Lord, it had been very agreeable to me, were such your pleasure,
that other than I should have given a beginning to so goodly a matter
as is that whereof we are to speak; but, since it pleaseth you that I
give all the other ladies assurance by my example, I will gladly do
it. Moreover, dearest ladies, I will study to tell a thing that may be
useful to you in time to come, for that, if you others are as fearful
as I, and especially of phantoms, (though what manner of thing they
may be God knoweth I know not, nor ever found I any woman who knew it,
albeit all are alike adread of them,) you may, by noting well my
story, learn a holy and goodly orison of great virtue for the
conjuring them away, should they come to you.
There was once in Florence, in the quarter of San Brancazio, a
wool-comber called Gianni Lotteringhi, a man more fortunate in his
craft than wise in other things, for that, savoring of the simpleton,
he was very often made captain of the Laudsingers[340] of Santa Maria
Novella and had the governance of their confraternity, and he many a
time had other little offices of the same kind, upon which he much
valued himself. This betided him for that, being a man of substance,
he gave many a good pittance to the clergy, who, getting of him often,
this a pair of hose, that a gown and another a scapulary, taught him
in return store of goodly orisons and gave him the paternoster in the
vulgar tongue, the Song of Saint Alexis, the Lamentations of Saint
Bernard, the Canticles of Madam Matilda and the like trumpery, all
which he held very dear and kept very diligently for his soul's
health. Now he had a very fair and lovesome lady to wife, by name
Mistress Tessa, who was the daughter of Mannuccio dalla Cuculia and
was exceeding discreet and well advised. She, knowing her husband's
simplicity and being enamoured of Federigo di Neri Pegolotti, a brisk
and handsome youth, and he of her, took order with a serving-maid of
hers that he should come speak with her at a very goodly country house
which her husband had at Camerata, where she sojourned all the summer
and whither Gianni came whiles to sup and sleep, returning in the
morning to his shop and bytimes to his Laudsingers.
[Footnote 340: See p. 144, note 2.]
Federigo, who desired this beyond measure, taking his opportunity,
repaired thither on the day appointed him towards vespers and Gianni
not coming thither that evening, supped and lay the night in all ease
and delight with the lady, who, being in his arms, taught him that
night a good half dozen of her husband's lauds. Then, neither she nor
Federigo purposing that this should be the last, as it had been the
first time [of their foregathering], they took order together on this
wise, so it should not be needful to send the maid for him each time,
to wit, that every day, as he came and went to and from a place he had
a little farther on, he should keep his eye on a vineyard that
adjoined the house, where he would see an ass's skull set up on one of
the vine poles, which whenas he saw with the muzzle turned towards
Florence, he should without fail and in all assurance betake himself
to her that evening after dark; and if he found the door shut he
should knock softly thrice and she would open to him; but that, whenas
he saw the ass's muzzle turned towards Fiesole, he should not come,
for that Gianni would be there; and doing on this wise, they
foregathered many a time.
But once, amongst other times, it chanced that, Federigo being one
night to sup with Mistress Tessa and she having let cook two fat
capons, Gianni, who was not expected there that night, came thither
very late, whereat the lady was much chagrined and having supped with
her husband on a piece of salt pork, which she had let boil apart,
caused the maid wrap the two boiled capons in a white napkin and carry
them, together with good store of new-laid eggs and a flask of good
wine, into a garden she had, whither she could go, without passing
through the house, and where she was wont to sup whiles with her
lover, bidding her lay them at the foot of a peach-tree that grew
beside a lawn there. But such was her trouble and annoy that she
remembered not to bid the maid wait till Federigo should come and tell
him that Gianni was there and that he should take the viands from the
garden; wherefore, she and Gianni betaking themselves to bed and the
maid likewise, it was not long before Federigo came to the door and
knocked softly once. The door was so near to the bedchamber that
Gianni heard it incontinent, as also did the lady; but she made a show
of being asleep, so her husband might have no suspicion of her. After
waiting a little, Federigo knocked a second time, whereupon Gianni,
marvelling, nudged his wife somewhat and said, 'Tessa, hearest thou
what I hear? Meseemeth there is a knocking at our door.'
The lady, who had heard it much better than he, made a show of awaking
and said, 'Eh? How sayst thou?' 'I say,' answered Gianni, 'that
meseemeth there is a knocking at our door.' 'Knocking!' cried she.
'Alack, Gianni mine, knowst thou not what it is? It is a phantom, that
hath these last few nights given me the greatest fright that ever was,
insomuch that, whenas I hear it, I put my head under the clothes and
dare not bring it out again until it is broad day.' Quoth Gianni, 'Go
to, wife; have no fear, if it be so; for I said the _Te Lucis_ and the
_Intemerata_ and such and such other pious orisons, before we lay
down, and crossed the bed from side to side, in the name of the
Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, so that we have no need to fear,
for that, what power soever it have, it cannot avail to harm us.'
The lady, fearing lest Federigo should perchance suspect otherwhat and
be angered with her, determined at all hazards to arise and let him
know that Gianni was there; wherefore quoth she to her husband, 'That
is all very well; thou sayst thy words, thou; but, for my part, I
shall never hold myself safe nor secure, except we exorcise it, since
thou art here.' 'And how is it to be exorcised?' asked he; and she, 'I
know full well how to exorcise it; for, the other day, when I went to
the Pardon at Fiesole, a certain anchoress (the very holiest of
creatures, Gianni mine, God only can say how holy she is,) seeing me
thus fearful, taught me a pious and effectual orison and told me that
she had made trial of it several times, ere she became a recluse, and
that it had always availed her. God knoweth I should never have dared
go alone to make proof of it; but, now that thou art here, I would
have us go exorcise the phantom.'
Gianni answered that he would well and accordingly they both arose and
went softly to the door, without which Federigo, who now began to
misdoubt him of somewhat, was yet in waiting. When they came thither,
the lady said to Gianni, 'Do thou spit, whenas I shall bid thee.' And
he answered, 'Good.' Then she began the conjuration and said,
'Phantom, phantom that goest by night, with tail upright[341] thou
cam'st to us; now get thee gone with tail upright. Begone into the
garden to the foot of the great peach tree; there shalt thou find an
anointed twice-anointed one[342] and an hundred turds of my sitting
hen;[343] set thy mouth to the flagon and get thee gone again and do
thou no hurt to my Gianni nor to me.' Then to her husband, 'Spit,
Gianni,' quoth she, and he spat. Federigo, who heard all this from
without and was now quit of jealousy, had, for all his vexation, so
great a mind to laugh that he was like to burst, and when Gianni spat,
he said under his breath '[Would it were] thy teeth!'
[Footnote 341: _i.e._ pene arrecto.]
[Footnote 342: _i.e._ a fattened capon well larded.]
[Footnote 343: _i.e._ eggs.]
The lady, having thrice conjured the phantom on this wise, returned to
bed with her husband, whilst Federigo, who had not supped, looking to
sup with her, and had right well apprehended the words of the
conjuration, betook himself to the garden and finding the capons and
wine and eggs at the foot of the great peach-tree, carried them off to
his house and there supped at his ease; and after, when he next
foregathered with the lady, he had a hearty laugh with her anent the
conjuration aforesaid. Some say indeed that the lady had actually
turned the ass's skull towards Fiesole, but that a husbandman, passing
through the vineyard, had given it a blow with a stick and caused it
spin round and it had become turned towards Florence, wherefore
Federigo, thinking himself summoned, had come thither, and that the
lady had made the conjuration on this wise: 'Phantom, phantom, get
thee gone in God's name; for it was not I turned the ass's head; but
another it was, God put him to shame! and I am here with my Gianni in
bed'; whereupon he went away and abode without supper or lodging. But
a neighbour of mine, a very ancient lady, telleth me that, according
to that which she heard, when a child, both the one and the other were
true; but that the latter happened, not to Gianni Lotteringhi, but to
one Gianni di Nello, who abode at Porta San Piero and was no less
exquisite a ninny than the other. Wherefore, dear my ladies, it
abideth at your election to take whether of the two orisons most
pleaseth you, except you will have both. They have great virtue in
such cases, as you have had proof in the story you have heard; get
them, therefore, by heart and they may yet avail you."