"Obviously," Street said, "this is no more than a folk legend."
"Are you sure?" the director of the ETI asked, fingering the report.
"It can't be anything else. Granted that all the other events were
true, I would know Baker was still alive--only one, because neither
could stand the threat of the other, to his ego. You see, the case
would never have come to trial. It would have been immediately
dismissed."
"Why?"
"My dear fellow, both Bakers could not have been put on trial for the
same murder, as any student of law would know. This would have violated
the basic protection of double jeopardy."
V
A fast spaceship to put him well ahead of the law, and a place to hide
out until things simmered down, that was all Baker wanted and it was
what he had. He was too hot for more. ("This is how we reconstruct it
from our informant's version," the ETI chief said.)
For the hundredth time, he located Wister VI on the star map. It had
been discovered by the Gordon-Poul expedition half a century before.
Few people ever knew about it, and most of those had forgotten it.
He would never have known about it himself if it hadn't been on the
credentials of that bank official.
With those papers he was set to spend several profitable years in the
Great National Bank. He would be an alien, but somehow aliens always
seemed to have more money than natives on any given planet.
As blastdown time approached, he read the characteristics of Wister
IV and found his greatest inconvenience would be the intense sunlight
from the double suns, not bright enough to burn but brilliant enough to
dazzle. He searched the ship for sunglasses, but all he could find were
snow goggles--a visor of black plastic with twin slits to look through.
He put them on, resolving never to steal an improperly equipped
spaceship again....
"Howdy, pardner." The humanoid at the spaceport was bald and green. He
wore a wide-brimmed hat, chaps, and a large gun. Nothing else at all.
"Forgive my informal dress. Forgot my kerchief, boots and spurs this
morning. Who might you be?"
Baker gave the title of his position at the bank, explaining it would
be his job to help arrange for loans to the local ranchers.
"You'll find this a friendly place. Tumbleweed is an _adult_ Western
town--we know the banker ain't always the head of the gang of rustlers."
* * * * *
As the weeks passed, Baker learned to live with the aliens' strange
obsession with the things and persons of the Old West. They were even
more fanatic than terrestrial Frenchmen over the American Frontier. It
was not exaggerating to say that they regarded the men in the old films
they got from Earth as gods.
They had appropriated appropriate Western given and surnames, but while
there were plenty of Wills and Davys, and Rogerses and Crocketts, it
was always Will Crockett and Davy Rogers. Anything other than that
would be sacrilege.
Baker's biggest problem was getting a good mixed martini. Everybody on
Wister VI drank their rotgut straight. But by becoming friendly with
the bartender, Gene Gibson, at the Golden Slipper, he managed to get
his mixed drinks.
"Which do you think was faster on the draw, Matt Dillon or William S.
Hart?" Tom asked Baker early one evening.
"I don't give a hoot, Gibson," Baker snarled, reaching for his martini.
Shocked faces along the bar turned toward him, and hands moved toward
loaded guns.
"I meant pictures," Baker said hastily. "I wouldn't give one of my
pictures of Hoot Gibson for two each of Ken Maynard and Tim McCoy."
"Everybody to his own taste," Gibson said agreeably.
Baker exhaled and gulped his drink. It had been a close one.
But as time wore on, the habits of the West-loving aliens grated more
and more on Baker's soul. He was particularly irritated by the weekly
ritual every male had of riding into the sunset. Since there were
two sunsets in opposite directions, it was a long and involved and
thoroughly annoying process.
Tom Wayne had kept Baker waiting an hour at the Golden Slipper to
discuss his loan. Baker was exasperated and dry. Local custom regarded
it as friendly to not begin your drinking before your companion arrived.
Gibson laid out the ingredients of the martini on the bar. "You going
to wait any longer for Tom to finish riding into the sunset before I
start mixing?"