_First 'Arry._ I'll tell you a good name for a Riverside Inn--"_The
'Av-a-launch_."
_Second 'Arry._ I'll tell you a better--"The 'Ave-a-lunch." Come
along!
* * * * *
[Illustration: WHITE LIES.
_Frisky Spinster._ "HOW MANY DANCES ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME TO-NIGHT,
CAPTAIN WAXHAM?"
_Captain Waxham._ "OH, I'M SO SORRY, BUT THERE'S NOT ENOUGH MEN, YOU
KNOW, AND I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD OFF BY MRS. MASHAM TO DANCE WITH THE
GIRLS WHO--A--WHO ARE NOT LIKELY TO GET PARTNERS!"
[_Asks the Girl just behind him for three Waltzes and a Polka!_]
* * * * *
"CLOSED FOR ALTERATIONS AND REPAIRS."
(_A SONG OF THE THEATRE ROYAL, ST. STEPHEN'S._)