DEAR EX-CHANCELLOR WITH A PAST,--I am sorry to have to address you,
especially as to you I owe my promotion. But matters are coming to a
crisis, and the Fatherland is suffering from your indiscretions. You
are making a great mistake--you are, indeed.
Now, I ask you, what would you do under the following circumstances?
Supposing you were in my position, what would you do if your
predecessor held you up to ridicule, spoilt all your favourite
diplomatic plans, insulted your employer, and made himself generally
disagreeable all round? You must know, my good Prince, that you are
sowing dissension in every direction. You are embroiling us with
Russia, and running the chance of a war with France. Moreover, you
are breaking the very laws you made for the solitary purpose of
meeting the case you have raised yourself! So now, with every kindly
recollection of the past, tell me why I don't arrest you, why I don't
put you into prison, why I don't break your power once and for ever?
Yours truly,
VON C----.
_REPLY TO THE ABOVE._
DEAR CHANCELLOR WITHOUT A FUTURE,--I will answer you why you do not
arrest me? The simple reason is that you, my dear friend, are not
BISMARCK.
And I am, yours truly,
VON B----.
* * * * *
A CORRESPONDENT signing himself "ONE WHO LIVES AND LEARNS," wishes to
know what is the meaning of the expression, "The Minute Gun at Sea?"
We will tell him. "A Minute Gun" is, of course, a very small one. When
it goes wrong, it is "at sea." No extra charge for this gun.
* * * * *
MEM.--You can't expect much from the Speakers at a Convention, where
the Speeches must be Conventional.
* * * * *
"HARPY THOUGHT!"--Mr. JOHN THOMAS's Grand Harp Concert.
* * * * *