A GOOD CELEBRATION--ADELAIDE SCHWARMER AND RUTH'S DOG.
Ralph learned that the Schwarmer Pyrotechnics and the agent employed to
show them off had come as usual on the midnight train. His wife and
daughter had also come, so as a matter of course there would be an extra
display. They did not come every year as Schwarmer himself did.
"They were in London last Fourth and were royally entertained by a
celebrated Pyrotechnist, who invented a patriotic piece called Eagle's
Screams on purpose for them," said Ralph.
"Perhaps they brought one home with them." laughed Ruth.
"And will bring it to the Hill to show off," added Ralph. "Well it will be
better and less dangerous than those abominable rockets."
"I thought rockets were not very dangerous, Ralph."
"There are rockets and rockets, sky rockets and war rockets and the
Satanic inventors are getting up new and worse ones every year. No knowing
what kind they have on the Hill. I have known of their having one at least
that travelled a much longer distance than from here to the Hill and then
went swooping down to the earth like a thunder bolt from the sky; but how
stupid of me to tell you so, dear. Forgive me if I have made you afraid."
"Not a bit, Ralph! I am never going to be afraid any more--that is, if you
will tell me all about those fiendish inventions, so I can keep out of
their way and help keep others out also. O how dreadful though to think
that such horrible things are made! Surely they never ought to be. They
are made to kill. They are a menace to human life on a prodigious scale
and the men who invent them are no better than would-be murderers and
should be arrested and treated as such."
"That's true, Ruth, and yet the governments of the world approve and
hasten to buy the murderous inventions. There's an inventor in this state
who has made a gun for this government that will throw a shell thirty
miles and crash a boat into kindling wood and kill every soul on board.
And now he is trying to invent one that will throw a shell one hundred
miles--one that can reach from the coast of France across the English
channel and rip out the heart of London!"
"O how hideous!" exclaimed Ruth. "He must be a fiend incarnate; but what
about the Schwarmer rocket?"
"Here it goes," said Ralph.
"Mamma came within an inch of having her arm gored by one of the rockets
sent down from the Hill only last year. She cautioned me not to write to
you about it. I thought it foolish not to; but perhaps it was right not to
tell you then. Now it is different. You have grown so brave--so suddenly
brave. It seems to me you are growing braver and braver every hour. It's
like a miracle! Explain."
Ruth's explanation set Ralph into raptures. Presently, however, she called
for an explanation in turn.
"There isn't much more to explain," said Ralph. "We all sat on the piazza
watching the sky-rockets that were being sent up from the hill, at least
the rest were. If I remember rightly I wasn't paying much attention to
them. My imagination had 'crossed over'--you understand gone over the
border--across the river--you see?"
"Yes! yes Ralph, you foolish fellow--go on."
"All at once up went a splendid rocket--ever and ever so high--'up out of
sight,' papa said; but he was mistaken, for a second after it came
whizzing down close by mamma's arm and crashed into the ground. Mamma was
sitting very near to the edge of the veranda. If she had only been an inch
nearer it would have gashed her arm frightfully without doubt. I dug the
thing up the next morning and am going to keep it in remembrance of
Millionaire Schwarmer."
"How did it look, Ralph? I never saw one except in air; tell me."
"A conical shaped piece of lead, Ruth--worse than a cannon ball, because
it has a pointed end. I'll show it to you to-morrow."
"We must tell the President about that and see if something can't be done
before another Fourth comes to stop him from showering such things upon
the town," said Ruth with decisive emphasis.
Then they went to the grove and worked like heroes. Ere long there was a
great army of them. Tables were spread as if by magic and laden with
fowls, fruits, cakes and candies of all description. The brass band played
its best music. Flags fluttered in the breeze--mottoes were every-where
and over the arched entrance was the unique invitation--"A feast is better
than firecrackers. Come boys and girls. Save your eyes and your pennies."
They came in overwhelming numbers--hand in hand with their fathers,
mothers and teachers and with looks of eager interest on their young
faces. They enjoyed themselves and each other's society as they never had
before on their nation's birthday.
In fact the whole community seemed to have been taken suddenly off its
feet ("out of the pit and miry clay" as the minister expressed it) and
whirled up to a higher plane. He preached the best sermon of his life, if
it could be called a sermon. It was short and to the point--well adapted
to the higher plane on which he was standing with all the rest.
Among the good things that he said was that "our National Day should be a
day of tender memories, regrets and righteous resolves--tender memories of
those who had died that we might have a free country in which to live.
Regrets that such death and bloody sacrifice should have been essential or
seemed so--deep regrets that we did not have a court of arbitration in the
pre-revolutionary times, such as we now have; and resolves to appeal to it
and abide by its wise decisions for all future time. As to this community
which has been so providentially turned God-ward, or lifted to a higher
plane let it be further resolved that we will maintain that high position
with our whole might and main--that we will go ahead in this good fight
until all these devil-caught celebrations, life-destroying games and
brutal amusements are done away with--or the devil in them cast out."
Ralph seconded the minister's resolution and it was carried amidst
manifestations of great joy.
It was afterward averred that the church people really kissed each other
according to the biblical instruction and it is true that many mothers
kissed their boys and that Ralph kissed Ruth fervently, whereupon those
who did not know of their marriage became suddenly aware of it and
there was a general rush to kiss the bride and congratulate the
bridegroom.
[Illustration: A FEAST IS BETTER THAN FIRECRACKERS.]
"And so they have got their wedding reception after all, Angeline,"
laughed Mr. Cornwallis, "and without any fussery or finery of the tiresome
cut and dried pattern."
Then the brass band played a wedding march. Lawyer Rattlinger and
President Hartling dropped in and made excellent, "higher plane"
speeches--that is, speeches delightfully devoid of brutish war-sentiment
and silly spread-eagleism--after which the Sunday-school children sang,
"God Bless Our Native Land," with great vigor and were rewarded with a
delicious finish of ice-cream and lemonade.
They went home as happy as larks, although their pockets were stuffed with
nuts and candies instead of baneful firecrackers and deadly toy-pistols--a
lively protest for their elders who have been too ready to say that a boy
will not be satisfied with anything that does not possess the elements of
noise and danger.
As Ralph surmised, the Schwarmers were making great preparations for the
evening display. It was to be a splendid one. A select party had been
invited from the city to witness it. They came on the afternoon train
while the celebration was at its height; so their advent made no
sensation. The shops were closed and the streets were quite deserted,
greatly to Mr. Schwarmer's chagrin, for in making his plans for a
brilliant gathering he had counted on a background of gaping people and
corruscating fireworks. The deficiency was so noticeable that Mr. Alfonso
Bombs, the rising Pyro-spectacle King of the city--the guest par
excellence whom he wished to honor in an appropriate manner, exclaimed
derisively:
"How's this, Schwarmer? Have they exhausted your huge supply already and
annihilated themselves in the performance? I thought this was your kingdom
(so to speak) and we should be treated to a triumphal entry."
Schwarmer would rather have had the matter unnoticed, but it was not and
he would not imperil his reputation for bluntness by keeping silence.
"You've been in England too long, Alfonso. You've forgotten that we don't
have things of that sort as they do on the other side of the pond--that
is, except in a way, you understand--an irregular sort of way.
Consequently we never know just what will take place at a given point, you
see--or just when a triumphal entry will materialize, so to speak, most
assuredly we don't. It's never been at all like this before; most
assuredly it hasn't. There have always been plenty of racket, plenty of
fireworks and things of that sort from dawn to dark and fore and
aft--variegated with a run-away horse and excitements of that kind; but
the fact is a great moral wave has struck the town--a very large one. You
see, even a moral wave is liable to be of very large dimensions, this side
of the pond."
"Moral wave! Mr. Schwarmer," drawled one of the ladies. "Re-al-ly you must
be joking. I have been educated to think it was an exceedingly immoral
procedure not to celebrate our Independence Day in an appropriate and
impressive manner."
"Impressive--yes truly impressive, dear lady; but you see it's too
impressive sometimes--too largely impressive, as everything is apt to be
in this country--that is if it's impressive at all, and now and then it
impresses the wrong boy. Last year a lawyer's little boy had a finger
broken and an alderman's boy had an eye hurt."
"Ah indeed! That was most unfortunate," replied Miss Drawling; "and they
were people of consequence--that is, in this small community."
"Certainly! certainly--that is of the 'toad in the puddle style'" laughed
Schwarmer. "So you see they called a meeting, a sort of grievance meeting
and resolved not to let their children have any more fireworks. Now I
believe they are having a pious celebration in the church grove or
graveyard, I don't know which."
"Whew! oh whew!" whistled Mr. Bombs; "and so you have all that patriotic
fervor on your hands! Shall we make a bonfire of it tomorrow as a starter
to their lagging patriotism?"
"Not unless we go a-fishing," laughed Schwarmer, beckoning him aside. "You
know how a thing of that kind turns when the sediments are all stirred up
so to speak. A lot of cranks seized the fireworks and dumped them all into
the river! They fancied they were our forefathers, I suppose, dumping the
English tea into Boston Harbor--the knaves!"
"Zounds!" exclaimed Mr. Bombs. "That was a steep proceeding. How high do
you suppose it will climb?"
"K. K.," replied Schwarmer. "Probably until the attention is called off by
some new thing--very new and of more dazzling proportions--like those new
inventions of yours--for instance."
"I understand! Good! Good! Nero is himself again. The siege of Yorktown!
The Battle of Gettysburg! and Johnny Bull's Bellows to offset Pang's Eagle
Screams! Eh, Schwarmer!" added Bombs in a low tone, giving him a sly poke
in the ribs; "and money made out of them. That's better than giving away
things to an ungrateful public. They can't throw Yorktown into the river
if they should try. You are a trump, Schwarmer."
That ended the business for Schwarmer. There was nothing that pleased him
better than being called a trump. He had not really intended to make a
business proposition; but the shrewd would-be million-maker and son of a
million-maker had construed it into that meaning, and it was understood
to be an unwritten bargain between them.
Thereupon a great silence fell upon the spirit of Alfonso Bombs. He was
resting in rich security--the kind of security he liked. The $10,000,000
that for a few brief moments seemed jeopardized would eventually flow into
the great Bombs' coffers and the time would come when he would be more
envied than the President of the United States; and his old-time victor
would be beaten back to the place from whence he came.
"Bah!" the thin lips parted with an ironical smile, and the word of
contempt came very near falling out. He congratulated himself on having
checked it in time, for turning aside he saw a pair of clear but rather
penetrating eyes looking directly at him, and a gentle voice asked:
"What is it that pleases you so dreadfully, Mr. Bombs?"
It was the voice of Adelaide Schwarmer.
"O! Ah! Beg pardon, Miss Adelaide," said Mr. Bombs, in the flurried way
which was usual with him when she asked him a sudden question, although
she was only a chit of a girl, barely fifteen years of age.
"For the smile or the style of it, Mr. Bombs?"
"For both if need be; but where did you come from so suddenly? I didn't
see you at the train."
"No, I wasn't there, I stopped to shake paws with--guess who?"
"The baker or candlestick-maker or some stick-at-home fellow. Most of the
folks seem to have gone away."
"No, it was a dog--Ruth Cornwallis' dog. He's funny. He always wants to
shake paws with me when I come. I haven't been here in two years, but he
was on hand to _shake_ all the same. I wonder why?"
"Can't say, Miss Adelaide. All I know is that dogs were on hand to bark at
us when we got off from the train, quite a number of them and there was
one that led the band."
"I wonder if it was Ruth's--he came running from that way. How did he
look?"
"Can't say. They looked so much alike; but I think this one had a new
white collar on, as though there had been a wedding in the family."
"O that's the one, Mr. Bombs. I wonder what made him bark at _you_?"
"None but a dog could tell, Miss Adelaide, and they are dumb."
"I wouldn't blame him if you had that dreadful smile on, Mr. Bombs."
"It wouldn't do any good to blame him anyhow, Miss Adelaide. Dogs know
what they are about as well as folks."
"Don't you think it does any good to blame folks when they do wrong?"
"Not much, not much. Sometimes it does harm--almost always to contrary
people."
"Well, I'm going to blame them any way every time I see them doing
anything I _know_ is wrong after this and take the chances. I'll be
fifteen years old tomorrow."
"Better put it off until you are of age, Miss Adelaide."
"No, I will not, Mr. Bombs. You needn't smile that smile--I'm going to
begin tomorrow at the very hour."
They walked slowly up the hill while the rest of the party dashed by them
in the Schwarmer turnouts; but they did not speak to each other again
until the party had gathered on the broad veranda to witness the evening's
entertainment.