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REALLY, greatness has its multifold inconvenience. _Falstaff_ wished
that his name were not so terrible to the enemy, as he should then be
less urgently called upon to go and fight. _Mr. Punch_ wishes that his
works were not so universally attractive, as he should not then have to
answer so many questions about them. He has actually had to receive a
Deputation upon the subject of his splendid and unparalleled Pocket-Book
for 1872. It appears that certain improvements which he introduced into
the volume have given the most enormous and outrageous satisfaction to
the majority of mankind, and that the demand for the book has been
excessive--almost inconvenient. But a minority of excellent persons, who
hate all kinds of changes, have complained that by taking out certain
blank pages, he has prevented the complainants from embalming their own
observations by the side of his preternatural wit and humour. As
aforesaid, a Deputation on the subject approached the presence last
Saturday. _Mr. Punch_, of course, listened with his usual affability.
The strong points of the applicants were, that they had been accustomed
for years to write their own biographies and engagements in the sacred
volume, and that the record of their lives thus became nearly
imperishable, as no one in his right senses would ever destroy a
_Punch's Pocket-Book_. They therefore humbly begged him to restore the
old form.
_Mr. Punch_ smiled, and gently said that of course he must be the best
judge of what his friend the Universe required at his hands, and this
proposition was conceded with respectful acclamation. He might just
suggest that his Pocket-Book, although a precious jewel, was not a thing
to be locked up in a cabinet, but one to be the light and joy of a
household for a year, but it might not be so evident that personal
entries, as "_Charles very cross"--"Sweet letter from Arabella,_"
"_Bless Smithson's mistletoe!_" "_I hate Aunt Popkins_," "_Said I had
not dined at Greenwich:" "Ridiculous sermon by new curate_," and the
like, were equally adapted for the perusal of the said household. Such
things might be confided to a humbler receptacle. But the pleas being
renewed, without reference to the answer (we need hardly remark that
most of his visitors were of the sex "that can't argue, and pokes fires
from the top," as good ARCHBISHOP WHATLEY said) _Mr. Punch_ blandly
promised that the views of the deputation should receive the utmost
consideration at his hands. And when he had thus spoken he dismissed the
assembly--or rather conducted it to a sumptuous, yet delicate lunch.
* * * * *
=Duties and Imposts.=
_Important Notice to Travellers._--Any person arriving from the
Continent is permitted to clear his throat at the Custom House free of
all duty.
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