XVII. Charivari

1

IT appeared that Mrs. Cowan, the plump neighbour who was cooking Clive’s

dinner, had heard his telephonic arrangements for a wedding, and was,

according to Clive, much flustered. A few minutes later she disappeared

from the kitchen, with a brief warning to Clive to keep his eye on the

oven, and presently returned, breathless and sparkling-eyed, wearing her

Sunday shawl, and bearing one of her own cakes.

“We’ll give them the best wedding we can, Mr. Bangs!” she said.

Clive came in to report this speech, and thus reminded that Mrs. Cowan

was a human being, and a woman, with a prescriptive right to share in

this occasion, he took the bridal pair to the kitchen and introduced

them. Mrs. Cowan’s warm friendliness pleased as well as embarrassed

them. Rose-Ann exclaimed over the cake, and putting on an apron,

commenced to help with the last stages of dinner.

Clive and Felix wandered back to the Franklin stove. “Oh, yes,” said

Clive. “I must build a fire in your room. Come along,” and he set Felix

to chopping kindling in the woodshed while he carried up a load of

cannel coal. Felix followed him to the great room at the top of the

stairs, occupying almost the whole of the upstairs space, with a

fireplace at one end. “I built that fireplace myself when I had the

house remodeled,” said Clive. “It’s quite an art, building a fireplace

so that it will draw properly. I’m very proud of it.”

Felix knelt and stuffed the kindling into the grate. “No,” said Clive,

“let me do it—you don’t know how.”

While they waited for the kindling to get well ablaze before putting on

the coal, Clive took Felix to a French window that opened on a balcony.

“Here you have a view of the lake,” he said, and then going to one end

of the balcony, “these steps lead down to my shower-bath, which

unfortunately only functions in summer. You must come out here

then—you’ll like it. It’s really wonderful country. I love it even in

the winter. I’ll tell you: Why don’t you and Rose-Ann stay out here this

week? I’ve got to be in town next week anyway, and I’ll clear out

tonight when the fuss is all over and leave you to yourselves.

Everything is shipshape, and Rose-Ann will have no difficulty in finding

where things are—and I’ll arrange with Mrs. Cowan to get your dinners.

You haven’t a place in town yet, have you?”

Felix thanked him, with the sense that the dedication of this house to

another honeymoon than the one for which it was originally intended gave

Clive a kind of painful and ironic pleasure. But there seemed to be no

good reason for refusing the offer.

“Do you suppose my job will still be open for me when I come back

married?” he asked.

“Not merely that, but you’ll probably get a raise,” said Clive. “That’s

the custom. They figure that a young man who has married and settled

down will be a more faithful slave. Usually they’re right. Only in this

case, taking Rose-Ann into consideration, I would say that ‘settling

down’ wasn’t the correct term.”

“Why, what do you mean?”

“I mean that Rose-Ann is much more likely to keep you in mischief than

to keep you out of it. You know that.”

“You’ve got a funny idea of Rose-Ann,” said Felix.

“Oh, not at all. You know yourself she’s not the ordinary girl by any

means. And she won’t make an ordinary wife—for which you can be

thankful.”

He put the coal on the fire, set up the fire-screen in front of the

fireplace, and they went downstairs.

“You needn’t eye me like the basilisk,” said Clive, taking a cigarette,

“I’m not saying anything against your beloved.”

“All the same, I think you’ve got some kind of curious and erroneous

notion about her. She’s not interested in these damned theories of ours.

She’s a real person,” Felix protested.

“She’s real, all right,” said Clive. “But she’s not a simple person.

She’s very complex. I think she’s just as complicated—as mixed up—as you

or I.”

“Heaven forbid!” said Felix.

Rose-Ann came in just then, and Felix looked at her guiltily, ashamed of

discussing her with his friend.

“Things are getting along very well,” she said. “I just ran in for a

moment to see my lover.” She came up to him, with a shy frankness, to be

kissed. “That ought to show Clive what sort of a person she is!” he

thought.

She turned from his embrace to Clive. “It’s curious,” she said, “the

pleasure people take in other people’s weddings! There’s Mrs. Cowan—she

doesn’t know me and Felix. She hasn’t any reason to believe we are going

to be happy. It’s just because it’s a wedding! I was thinking about it,

and I realized that if this were a secret love-affair, she would be shut

out of it. But a wedding lets her in. In a way, it’s really more her

wedding than it is ours!”

“Well,” said Felix, “I don’t mind! I haven’t that damnable instinct of

privacy that some people seem to regard as essential to love-affairs.

I’d as soon the whole world knew we’re in love.”

“All right, Felix—but you haven’t had to discuss the nuptial couch with

her, and _I_ have! She’s upstairs now getting the room fixed up, and

putting my clothes in the bureau; I left her to avoid an argument about

which nightgown I should wear—as a matter of fact, she doesn’t think any

of them are equal to the occasion, they’re all too plain! Perhaps you’d

as soon everybody knew all about those details, which is what a wedding

seems to amount to—but I don’t like it!” And she made a face and left

the room.

“Well?” said Clive, rather triumphantly.

“Well?” said Felix, stolidly. He really had not liked that last speech

of Rose-Ann’s. If she didn’t want her nightgowns discussed in public,

then why—?

“You’re really rather conventional, at the bottom of your soul, aren’t

you?” Clive remarked thoughtfully.

“Of course I am. And so is everybody else. So are you, if you only knew

it.”

“Then,” said Clive, coolly, “why do you marry Rose-Ann? She isn’t. It

you want a conventional wife and conventional married happiness, why

don’t you marry some simple little country girl, and have a houseful of

babies? Why—”

There was a knock at the door.

“That’s my other witness,” said Clive, and hurried into the hall.

2

While Clive and the newcomer talked for a moment in the hall, Felix

stood frowning at the fire.... Clive, he felt, was becoming rather

exasperating. Really, the unquestioning enthusiasm of Mrs. Cowan was

preferable to such an inappropriately critical attitude as Clive’s.

There was something deliberately malicious in it. That last remark about

the “simple little country girl” was an attempt to shake his faith in

this marriage. It was a damned mean trick!... And then he laughed at

himself. For how could Clive possibly have guessed the effect of that

remark? How could he know what a crazy fool he was talking to? “A simple

country girl.” How could Clive know that there lurked in the back of

Felix’s mind an absurd and impossible wish—a wish, long-forgotten,

except in the most senseless of idle day-dreams, which these words of

Clive’s made him remember, with an inexplicable pang! A wish for

precisely what he ought never to have—. Marriage with the girl of that

foolish day-dream would be, for such a person as himself, the most

fantastic of tragedies: and it was doubtless its very impossibility that

had made him conceive it as a romantic ideal. And that houseful of

babies—for they too were a part of that foolish day-dream of his—why,

that was madness. In actuality, he would have fled from the prospect of

such a marriage. He really wanted—what he had so miraculously found in

Rose-Ann: a companionship in the adventure and beauty of life.... And in

an hour or two his choice would be confirmed—irrevocably. Marriage was

just that—a definite decision among tangled and contradictory wishes....

He turned to face the girl whom Clive had led into the room. For an

instant he was startled as by an apparition. Perhaps it was the effect

of Clive’s words—this young woman seemed the very creature of his

day-dreaming wish. Young, hardly more than nineteen, of slight but

robust figure, with soft brown hair, dark quiet eyes and a serene mouth,

she brought with her the fragrance of that fantasy which had only a

moment ago disquieted him. She had a bundle in her arms, and for an

instant the illusion was breathlessly complete—she was Rose-Ann’s

phantom rival come to him in visible sweet flesh, bearing his baby at

her bosom.

“The bridegroom!” Clive was saying. “The witness!—Miss Phyllis Nelson,

Mr. Felix Fay.”

She smiled imperturbably and held out her hand, her eyes meeting his.

“And what have you in that bundle, Phyllis? Something without which no

wedding would be complete, I suppose,” said Clive.

“Only some smilax,” she said. “And I know how many knives and forks you

have, Clive, so I brought along some of my mother’s silver. But where

is—”

Rose-Ann ran in just then, and the two girls, while Clive pronounced

their names, shook hands, and then suddenly kissed each other, and with

arms linked went out into the kitchen.

Clive followed with the bundle, asking Phyllis if by any chance it

contained a veil for the bride. He and Felix were shooed back into the

other room, and Rose-Ann and Phyllis reset the table. The three women

could be heard talking together, with a kind of excited seriousness, as

they worked. Felix’s last glimpse was of Phyllis arranging wreaths of

smilax on the white tablecloth, and Rose-Ann, with an adorable gesture,

lifting her arms to twine some of it about the low-hanging chandelier,

while Mrs. Cowan, her hands on her hips, stood looking from one to the

other with approval before dashing back to the kitchen.

“Womenfolk have an instinct for such things,” said Clive, sitting down

beside the fire. “Even Rose-Ann appears domestic.”

Felix looked at Clive fretfully. “I don’t see anything terribly domestic

about hanging up a wreath of flowers.”

“You are hard to suit,” Clive commented. “When I say she isn’t domestic,

you look daggers at me, and when I say she is, you still object. What

shall I say? I strive to please.”

“So it seems,” said Felix.

Clive smiled. “Since you’re so conventional, you ought not to complain.

Nothing is more regular and old-fashioned than the effort to embarrass a

bridegroom. You may interpret my remarks as a modern version of that

ancient mode of licensed tribal merriment—an intellectualized kind of

‘shivaree.’ I am trying to make up for the absence of the traditional

tin pans out by the front gate. After all, Felix, you are taking

Rose-Ann away from all the rest of us, and you must expect to be made to

suffer a little for your selfishness.”

“Dinner!” Phyllis called in to them.

They went into the dining-room.

3

In the middle of the table was a glass bowl brimmed with sweet peas, and

around it a wreath of smilax; a festoon of smilax hung from the

chandelier. At the head of the table stood impressively a platter

bearing a steaming roast duck.

Mrs. Cowan hovered proudly over this spectacle, preparing to take her

departure.

“Oh, not without a piece of the wedding-cake!” cried Rose-Ann, and cut

it for her.

Immensely gratified, and having wished the bride happiness, and at the

last moment bestowed upon her a motherly kiss, Mrs. Cowan went, bearing

the piece of cake carefully wrapped in a napkin.

Clive stared after her. “Very interesting,” he said, “she takes home a

piece of her own cake—”

“No longer her own,” Rose-Ann finished, “and no longer merely cake—but a

piece of Wedding Cake! Will she put it under her pillow, I wonder, and

dream of getting another husband? She’s a widow, and her husband used to

get drunk ‘something awful.’ Yes, she was telling me all about it—I

think by way of warning, so I wouldn’t be too badly disillusioned by the

facts of marriage. ‘You can’t expect ’em to be angels,’ she said. So you

see Felix, I’m prepared for anything!”

This speech jarred upon Felix. It was too much in the vein that Clive

had been indulging all evening. He wondered if he were going to become

critical of Rose-Ann, now that he had a sense of possession with regard

to her. He said to himself that Rose-Ann was over-wrought and he himself

over-sensitive.

“Rose-Ann, here at my right hand,” Clive was saying, “Felix, here at my

left. I believe that is correct. The Witness will take the remaining

seat, opposite me. First of all, we must have a toast.” He rose. “Up

with you all! No, Rose-Ann, you sit still—you can’t drink your own

health.... Here’s to the bride!”

They lifted their glasses.

“No—wait till I finish my speech.... In defiance of all the laws of

nature and of modern realistic fiction, we wish her happiness!... No,

that isn’t all I have to say.... We make this wish—at least I do—with an

unwonted confidence in its fulfilment. For this is no ordinary marriage,

dedicated to the prosaic comforts of a mutual bondage—it is an attempt

to realize the sharp new joys of freedom. A marriage, let us say, in

name only—for upon Rose-Ann I set my faith, believing that not even a

wedding can turn her into a wife!” Rose-Ann looked up at him and smiled.

“To Rose-Ann,” he concluded, “and her adventure!”

They drank. Felix looked at the others. He had a sense of something

having been outraged by this speech—something which, if only a

tradition, was somehow real to all of them except Clive. But Rose-Ann

merely looked amused, and Phyllis’s expression told him nothing. He

reflected, “She’s used to him by this time.”

A sense of embarrassment remained with him, in spite of the light talk

that followed as Clive heaped their plates in turn with roast duck and

dressing.

“Why are you so quiet, Felix?” Clive asked at last. “You might at least

tell us how it feels to be a bridegroom—whether you feel as depressed as

you look.”

“I confess I shall be glad when it’s over,” said Felix.

They laughed, and went on talking. Rose-Ann was apparently enjoying

herself. She and Clive were exchanging pleasantries on the subject of

“modern marriage.” For some reason the phrase annoyed Felix. Did they

know what nonsense they were talking? Or did they really think that his

and Rose-Ann’s marriage was to be, as it were, a sociological

performance for the benefit of on-lookers?

Presently Rose-Ann was humourously disclaiming “all the credit” for the

modernity of the arrangement. Felix, she insisted, was equally entitled

to it; he was just as modern as she was!

“Why,” Felix suddenly asked in exasperation, “should we all want to be

so damned modern?”

“Hark to the defiant bridegroom!” said Clive. “He wishes us to

understand that _his_ wife is going to love, honour, and obey him, in

the good old—fashioned way. He won’t stand for any of this new-fangled

nonsense. The Cave-man emerges!”

Felix flushed. He had only succeeded in making a fool of himself, it

seemed.

Rose-Ann spoke up. “I hope it _will_ be modern,” she said. “I’m sure it

won’t be like any of the marriages I’ve seen back in my home town....

Why are you so afraid of freedom and modernity, Felix?”

Perhaps it was that word _afraid_, which Rose-Ann used so lightly, that

stung him. “Because,” he said, “I am apparently the only one here who

knows what those words mean.”

He had not intended to say it—certainly he had not intended to say it in

that tone of voice. It came out, raspingly, like a voice out of a

music-box, a voice from a strange record that has been put in unawares.

His voice was, even to his own ears, remote and metallic.

Rose-Ann looked at him, startled. “What words, Felix?” she asked gently.

“The words you have all been bandying about,” he replied. “Modernity.

Freedom.” His voice was still hard.

“Well, what _do_ they mean?”

She leaned toward him.

The others were silent, listening—Clive with an amused smile, Phyllis

with troubled eyes.

“Not what you think, I’m afraid, Rose-Ann,” Felix’s voice answered, the

voice with a quiet grimness in it.

Rose-Ann’s voice took up the challenge softly. “And what do _you_ think

they mean, Felix?”

He looked away from her, and spoke as if from a distance, slowly.

“Freedom.... It’s not a nice word, not a pretty word ... to me. There is

something terrible in it ... something to be afraid of....” He looked

back at her. “Don’t offer me freedom, Rose-Ann.”

Her voice was still soft, but infinitely cool and firm. “Why? Because

you might take it? I knew that when I made the offer, Felix. I think I

know what you mean. But I take back nothing.” She lifted her chin

proudly. “I am not afraid of freedom.”

“Bravo!” cried Clive. “Rose-Ann, I am falling in love with you myself!

Why don’t you marry _me_ instead of Felix! He doesn’t appreciate you.”

Curiously enough, nobody except Felix seemed to mind Clive’s clowning.

Both girls laughed, and the atmosphere was suddenly cleared.

“But what an odd occasion for us to choose to stage a quarrel!” said

Rose-Ann, gaily.

“Yes,” said Felix, now bewildered and contrite. “I must have got into my

argumentative mood. I’m sorry. When I get to arguing I think of no one

and nothing, except the point at issue—which is usually not of the

slightest importance. It’s a bad habit you must break me of when we are

married.”

“You are forgiven,” said Phyllis.

“Don’t forget there’s fruit salad coming,” said Rose-Ann, rising and

bringing a bowl from the sideboard.

“Yes,” said Clive, “and the car will be here for you two people in ten

minutes or so. Will you have your coffee now, Felix?—Rose-Ann?”

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