CHAPTER 40

1

Early in April Stephen and Mary returned to the house in Paris. This

second home-coming seemed wonderfully sweet by reason of its peaceful

and happy completeness, so that they turned to smile at each other as

they passed through the door, and Stephen said very softly:

‘Welcome home, Mary.’

And now for the first time the old house was home. Mary went quickly

from room to room humming a little tune as she did so, feeling that she

saw with a new understanding the inanimate objects which filled those

rooms—were they not Stephen’s? Every now and again she must pause to

touch them because they were Stephen’s. Then she turned and went into

Stephen’s bedroom; not timidly, dreading to be unwelcome, but quite

without fear or restraint or shyness, and this gave her a warm little

glow of pleasure.

Stephen was busily grooming her hair with a couple of brushes that had

been dipped in water. The water had darkened her hair in patches, but

had deepened the wide wave above her forehead. Seeing Mary in the glass

she did not turn round, but just smiled for a moment at their two

reflections. Mary sat down in an arm-chair and watched her, noticing the

strong, thin line of her thighs; noticing too the curve of her

breasts—slight and compact, of a certain beauty. She had taken off her

jacket and looked very tall in her soft silk shirt and her skirt of dark

serge.

‘Tired?’ she inquired, glancing down at the girl.

‘No, not a bit tired,’ smiled Mary.

Stephen walked over to the stationary basin and proceeded to wash her

hands under the tap, spotting her white silk cuffs in the process. Going

to the cupboard she got out a clean shirt, slipped in a pair of simple

gold cuff-links, and changed; after which she put on a new necktie.

Mary said: ‘Who’s been looking after your clothes—sewing on buttons and

that sort of thing?’

‘I don’t know exactly—Puddle or Adèle. Why?’

‘Because I’m going to do it in future. You’ll find that I’ve got one

very real talent, and that’s darning. When I darn the place looks like a

basket, criss-cross. And I know how to pick up a ladder as well as the

Invisible Mending people! It’s very important that the darns should be

smooth, otherwise when you fence they might give you a blister.’

Stephen’s lips twitched a little, but she said quite gravely: ‘Thanks

awfully, darling, we’ll go over my stockings.’

From the dressing-room next door came a series of thuds; Pierre was

depositing Stephen’s luggage. Getting up, Mary opened the wardrobe,

revealing a long, neat line of suits hanging from heavy mahogany

shoulders—she examined each suit in turn with great interest. Presently

she made her way to the cupboard in the wall; it was fitted with sliding

shelves, and these she pulled out one by one with precaution. On the

shelves there were orderly piles of shirts, crêpe de Chine

pyjamas—quite a goodly assortment, and the heavy silk masculine

underwear that for several years now had been worn by Stephen. Finally

she discovered the stockings where they lay by themselves in the one

long drawer, and these she proceeded to unfurl deftly, with a quick and

slightly important movement. Thrusting a fist into toes and heels she

looked for the holes that were nonexistent.

‘You must have paid a lot for these stockings, they’re hand knitted

silk;’ murmured Mary gravely.

‘I forget what I paid—Puddle got them from England.’

‘Who did she order them from; do you know?’

‘I can’t remember; some woman or other.’

But Mary persisted: ‘I shall want her address.’

Stephen smiled: ‘Why? Are you going to order my stockings?’

‘Darling! Do you think I’ll let you go barefoot? Of course I’m going to

order your stockings.’

Stephen rested her elbow on the mantelpiece and stood gazing at Mary

with her chin on her hand. As she did so she was struck once again by

the look of youth that was characteristic of Mary. She looked much less

than her twenty-two years in her simple dress with its leather belt—she

looked indeed little more than a schoolgirl. And yet there was something

quite new in her face, a soft, wise expression that Stephen had put

there, so that she suddenly felt pitiful to see her so young yet so full

of this wisdom; for sometimes the coming of passion to youth, in spite

of its glory, will be strangely pathetic.

Mary rolled up the stockings with a sigh of regret; alas, they would not

require darning. She was at the stage of being in love when she longed

to do womanly tasks for Stephen. But all Stephen’s clothes were

discouragingly neat; Mary thought that she must be very well served,

which was true—she was served, as are certain men, with a great deal of

nicety and care by the servants.

And now Stephen was filling her cigarette case from the big box that

lived on her dressing table; and now she was strapping on her gold wrist

watch; and now she was brushing some dust from her coat; and now she was

frowning at herself in the glass for a second as she twitched her

immaculate necktie. Mary had seen her do all this before, many times,

but to-day somehow it was different; for to-day they were in their own

home together, so that these little intimate things seemed more dear

than they had done at Orotava. The bedroom could only have belonged to

Stephen; a large, airy room, very simply furnished—white walls, old

oak, and a wide, bricked hearth on which some large, friendly logs were

burning. The bed could only have been Stephen’s bed; it was heavy and

rather austere in pattern. It looked solemn as Mary had seen Stephen

look, and was covered by a bedspread of old blue brocade, otherwise it

remained quite guiltless of trimmings. The chairs could only have been

Stephen’s chairs; a little reserved, not conducive to lounging. The

dressing table could only have been hers, with its tall silver mirror

and ivory brushes. And all these things had drawn into themselves a

species of life derived from their owner, until they seemed to be

thinking of Stephen with a dumbness that made their thoughts more

insistent, and their thoughts gathered strength and mingled with Mary’s

so that she heard herself cry out: ‘Stephen!’ in a voice that was not

very far from tears, because of the joy she felt in that name.

And Stephen answered her: ‘Mary—’

Then they stood very still, grown abruptly silent. And each of them felt

a little afraid, for the realization of great mutual love can at times

be so overwhelming a thing, that even the bravest of hearts may grow

fearful. And although they could not have put it into words, could not

have explained it to themselves or to each other, they seemed at that

moment to be looking beyond the turbulent flood of earthly passion; to

be looking straight into the eyes of a love that was changed—a love

made perfect, discarnate.

But the moment passed and they drew together. . . .

2

The spring they had left behind in Orotava overtook them quite soon, and

one day there it was blowing softly along the old streets of the

Quarter—the Rue de Seine, the Rue des Saints Pères, the Rue Bonaparte

and their own Rue Jacob. And who can resist the first spring days in

Paris? Brighter than ever looked the patches of sky when glimpsed

between rows of tall, flat-bosomed houses. From the Pont des Arts could

be seen a river that was one wide, ingratiating smile of sunshine; while

beyond in the Rue des Petits Champs, spring ran up and down the Passage

Choiseul, striking gleams of gold from its dirty glass roof—the roof

that looks like the vertebral column of some prehistoric monster.

All over the Bois there was bursting of buds—a positive orgy of growth

and greenness. The miniature waterfall lifted its voice in an effort to

roar as loud as Niagara. Birds sang. Dogs yapped or barked or bayed

according to their size and the tastes of their owners. Children

appeared in the Champs Elysées with bright coloured balloons which tried

to escape and which, given the ghost of a chance, always did so. In the

Tuileries Gardens boys with brown legs and innocent socks were hiring

toy boats from the man who provided Bateaux de Location. The fountains

tossed clouds of spray into the air, and just for fun made an occasional

rainbow; then the Arc de Triomphe would be seen through an arc that was,

thanks to the sun, even more triumphal. As for the very old lady in her

kiosk—the one who sells bocks, groseille, limonade, and such simple

food-stuffs as brioches and croissants—as for her, she appeared in a

new frilled bonnet and a fine worsted shawl on one memorable Sunday.

Smiling she was too, from ear to ear, in spite of the fact that her

mouth was toothless, for this fact she only remembered in winter when

the east wind started her empty gums aching.

Under the quiet, grey wings of the Madeleine the flower-stalls were

bright with the glory of God—anemones, jonquils, daffodils, tulips;

mimosa that left gold dust on the fingers, and the faintly perfumed

ascetic white lilac that had come in the train from the Riviera. There

were also hyacinths, pink, red and blue, and many small trees of sturdy

azalea.

Oh, but the spring was shouting through Paris! It was in the hearts and

the eyes of the people. The very dray-horses jangled their bells more

loudly because of the spring in their drivers. The debauched old taxis

tooted their horns and spun round the corners as though on a race track.

Even such glacial things as the diamonds in the Rue de la Paix, were

kindled to fire as the sun pierced their facets right through to their

entrails; while the sapphires glowed as those African nights had glowed

in the garden at Orotava.

Was it likely that Stephen could finish her book—she who had Paris in

springtime with Mary? Was it likely that Mary could urge her to do

so—she who had Paris in springtime with Stephen? There was so much to

see, so much to show Mary, so many new things to discover together. And

now Stephen felt grateful to Jonathan Brockett who had gone to such

pains to teach her her Paris.

Idle she was, let it not be denied, idle and happy and utterly carefree.

A lover, who, like many another before her, was under the spell of the

loved one’s existence. She would wake in the mornings to find Mary

beside her, and all through the day she would keep beside Mary, and at

night they would lie in each other’s arms—God alone knows who shall

dare judge of such matters; in any case Stephen was too much bewitched

to be troubled just then by hair-splitting problems.

Life had become a new revelation. The most mundane things were invested

with glory; shopping with Mary who needed quite a number of dresses. And

then there was food that was eaten together—the careful perusal of

wine-card and menu. They would lunch or have dinner at Lapérouse; surely

still the most epicurean restaurant in the whole of an epicurean city.

So humble it looks with its modest entrance on the Quai des Grands

Augustins; so humble that a stranger might well pass it by unnoticed,

but not so Stephen, who had been there with Brockett.

Mary loved Prunier’s in the Rue Duphot, because of its galaxy of

sea-monsters. A whole counter there was of incredible

creatures—Oursins, black armoured and covered with prickles;

Bigorneaux; serpent-like Anguilles Fumées; and many other exciting

things that Stephen mistrusted for English stomachs. They would sit at

their own particular table, one of the tables upstairs by the window,

for the manager came very quickly to know them and would smile and bow

grandly: ‘Bon jour, mesdames.’ When they left, the attendant who kept

the flower-basket would give Mary a neat little bouquet of roses: ‘Au

revoir, mesdames. Merci bien—à bientôt!’ For every one had pretty

manners at Prunier’s.

A few people might stare at the tall, scarred woman in her well-tailored

clothes and black slouch hat. They would stare first at her and then at

her companion: ‘Mais regardez moi ça! Elle est belle, la petite; comme

c’est rigolo!’ There would be a few smiles, but on the whole they would

attract little notice—ils en ont vu bien d’autres—it was post-war

Paris.

Sometimes, having dined, they would saunter towards home through streets

that were crowded with others who sauntered—men and women, a couple of

women together—always twos—the fine nights seemed prolific of couples.

In the air there would be the inconsequent feeling that belongs to the

night life of most great cities, above all to the careless night life of

Paris, where problems are apt to vanish with sunset. The lure of the

brightly lighted boulevards, the lure of the dim and mysterious

bystreets would grip them so that they would not turn homeward for quite

a long while, but would just go on walking. The moon, less clear than at

Orotava, less innocent doubtless, yet scarcely less lovely, would come

sailing over the Place de la Concorde, staring down at the dozens of

other white moons that had managed to get themselves caught by the

standards. In the cafés would be crowds of indolent people, for the

French who work hard know well how to idle; and these cafés would smell

of hot coffee and sawdust, of rough, strong tobacco, of men and women.

Beneath the arcades there would be the shop windows, illuminated and

bright with temptation. But Mary would usually stare into Sulka’s,

picking out scarves or neckties for Stephen.

‘That one! We’ll come and buy it to-morrow. Oh, Stephen, do wait—look

at that dressing-gown!’

And Stephen might laugh and pretend to be bored, though she secretly

nurtured a weakness for Sulka’s.

Down the Rue de Rivoli they would walk arm in arm, until turning at

last, they would pass the old church of St. Germain—the church from

whose Gothic tower had been rung the first call to a most bloody

slaying. But now that tower would be grim with silence, dreaming the

composite dreams of Paris—dreams that were heavy with blood and beauty,

with innocence and lust, with joy and despair, with life and death, with

heaven and hell; all the curious composite dreams of Paris.

Then crossing the river they would reach the Quarter and their house,

where Stephen would slip her latchkey into the door and would know the

warm feeling that can come of a union between door and latchkey. With a

sigh of contentment they would find themselves at home once again in the

quiet old Rue Jacob.

3

They went to see the kind Mademoiselle Duphot, and this visit seemed

momentous to Mary. She gazed with something almost like awe at the woman

who had had the teaching of Stephen.

‘Oh, but yes,’ smiled Mademoiselle Duphot, ‘I teached her. She was

terribly naughty over her dictée; she would write remarks about the poor

Henri—très impertinente she would be about Henri! Stévenne was a queer

little child and naughty—but so dear, so dear—I could never scold her.

With me she done everything her own way.’

‘Please tell me about that time,’ coaxed Mary.

So Mademoiselle Duphot sat down beside Mary and patted her hand: ‘Like

me, you love her. Well now let me recall— She would sometimes get

angry, very angry, and then she would go to the stables and talk to her

horse. But when she fence it was marvellous—she fence like a man, and

she only a baby but extrémement strong. And then. . . .’ The memories

went on and on, such a store she possessed, the kind Mademoiselle

Duphot.

As she talked her heart went out to the girl, for she felt a great

tenderness towards young things: ‘I am glad that you come to live with

our Stévenne now that Mademoiselle Puddle is at Morton. Stévenne would

be desolate in the big house. It is charming for both of you this new

arrangement. While she work you look after the ménage; is it not so? You

take care of Stévenne, she take care of you. Oui, oui, I am glad you

have come to Paris.’

Julie stroked Mary’s smooth young cheek, then her arm, for she wished to

observe through her fingers. She smiled: ‘Very young, also very kind. I

like so much the feel of your kindness—it gives me a warm and so happy

sensation, because with all kindness there must be much good.’

Was she quite blind after all, the poor Julie?

And hearing her Stephen flushed with pleasure, and her eyes that could

see turned and rested on Mary with a gentle and very profound expression

in their depths—at that moment they were calmly thoughtful, as though

brooding upon the mystery of life—one might almost have said the eyes

of a mother.

A happy and pleasant visit it had been; they talked about it all through

the evening.

The well of loneliness · 第 40 / 56 章