By the River
My heart was wrung with seeing my dear lady's affliction, and when
the Duchess of Northumberland and the Duchess of Suffolk, her mother,
peremptorily turned me out of the bedroom, scarcely knowing what I
did I ran downstairs and out of the big house by a side door.
A great longing to escape from those wealthy hard-hearted magnates,
who for ambition were willing and even wishful to sacrifice the
happiness of the sweetest being on earth, made me flee from their
presence and, what was almost worse, the presence of their proud and
haughty retainers. In the garden I thought I should have solitude,
but, alas, it was already thronged with lords and ladies, talking
together in groups, and meaner folk gossiping as they went hither and
thither at their masters' bidding. Seeing that I must go further
away if I would be alone, I hurried across the park to presently find
myself amongst the willows by the river side.
There was a slight breeze, and it stirred the leaves and even
branches, making a soft sound which seemed to whisper to me some
message which yet I could not catch.
Leaning back against a tree, I gazed wearily across the water
gleaming so brightly in the sunshine, feeling worn by the strong
emotions I had been through and scarcely knowing what I was looking
for; I knew, however, when it came, for even as I stood there,
silently up the river glided a boat in which a young man was seated.
Sir Hubert Blair it was, and he gave a start of glad surprise upon
seeing me there, and then waved his hat in the air, and called out a
hearty greeting and an earnest entreaty that I would stay where I was
until he landed. For my first instinct was to flee like a startled
fawn, and that although I had the strongest wish to be with him once
more and tell him all my trouble.
With the utmost possible speed my lover sculled across to the little
landing-stage and made fast the painter of his boat. Then he climbed
the bank until he stood by my side and was holding my hands and
looking down into my face with the tenderest love.
'What is it, sweetheart?' he asked, reading trouble in my eyes, and
then, as I could not immediately answer him, he went on to tell me
that he had been past Sion House several times in his boat, but
without seeing me. 'I looked for you, dear. But you were not here,'
he said. 'However, all is well that ends well, and now that I have
you at last I shall not spoil the time by regretting what is past.'
He paused.
And still I could not talk, having enough to do to keep from breaking
down and weeping. He therefore continued, 'I have been to your home
in Sussex, and have asked your father's permission to become
betrothed to you, and, after he had heard all I had to say, he
willingly gave it and said that he would write to you. Has he
written?'
'No,' said I, shaking my head. 'But he is ever slow to write about
anything. He promises, and then he puts off doing it, for writing is
ever irksome to him.'
'Ah, well, it does not matter, does it, sweet one? We understand
each other, and he has consented to our betrothal, and that is quite
enough,' and he pressed my hand.
'Enough truly,' said I. 'But oh!----' and I stopped short, sighing
heavily, for indeed it did seem most heartless of us to be settling
up our own happiness, as it were, when my poor mistress was in such
dire distress.
And again Sir Hubert, reading my trouble in my face, besought me to
tell him all that was distressing me.
I told him everything, not omitting my own negligence in failing to
prepare my mistress for what was in store for her upon the king's
death.
He knew of the latter sad event, and of course regarded the matter of
Lady Jane's unhappiness quite differently from what I did.
'They are right,' he said, 'who want to make Lady Jane queen instead
of the Papist Mary. Think of the horrors that would befall this land
if Roman Catholicism prevailed. Have you forgotten all I told you
about the awful Inquisition? Consider what it would be if
established here in England. No one would be safe. You might be
talking to me one half hour and the next that which is worse than the
grave might have swallowed me up for ever, or perchance you. No one
is secure where secret deaths and tortures pervade the land. Oh, the
misery, the weeping of loving relations for their friends who have
vanished from them in that way! You have no idea what it is like.
And even,' he continued earnestly, 'even if Lady Jane does not want
to be queen, it is expedient that one should suffer a little rather
than many a great deal. And she ought to be glad,' he concluded
zealously, 'she ought to be glad that she is chosen to do a great
work for England. As a true-hearted woman, she will be ready and
willing to sacrifice herself for others.'
'Yes,' said I, 'she will, I know, if she can be brought to look at it
in that way. No discomfort to herself will in her mind militate
against doing the thing that is right.'
'Therefore she will do it.'
'But the question is, would it be right for her to accept the crown?'
said I. 'She has a great love of justice, and she thinks the
Princess Mary ought to be queen.'
Sir Hubert, upon that, gave utterance to the usual arguments about
the alleged illegitimacy of the royal princesses, and said, moreover,
that to his mind the last will and testament of King Edward, making
Lady Jane Grey heir to the crown, settled the matter. Yet I was not
convinced that my mistress would accept such reasoning, and, although
I hesitated to say so, my lover read that also in my face, and looked
disappointed.
'They say a woman never can be convinced against her will,' he said
at length, adding, 'Would that I could talk to her on the subject!'
'That would be best,' said I, 'for you have such a wise way of
putting it, Sir Hubert.'
'Oh, you must not call me Sir Hubert,' said he, and then a little
fond, affectionate lovers' talk ensued, which I am not so foolish as
to write down here. For, though it is the loveliest language to
those concerned, it spelleth out ridiculously to the critical ears of
others, who wholly lack the key to unravel its correct meaning.
And then, all too soon, we had to part, Sir Hubert to mingle with
some lords and knights on the great lawn, there to await the Duke of
Northumberland's commands--for to the latter all men's eyes were
directed of those who hoped for a Protestant succession--whilst I had
to hasten back to the neighbourhood of my mistress' bedroom, that I
might take advantage of the first chance of entering it.