IN WHICH "HIS MAJESTY" FALLS IN LOVE.
Mrs. Russell's position was a very peculiar and a very trying one.
From the remarks of "His Majesty" she had reason to believe that her
beloved, yet unfortunate, husband had been found guilty of treason
against that august monarch, and had been executed. At the same time,
"His Most Sacred Majesty" had evinced what appeared to be a devoted
attachment to her humble self. Now, what was a high-toned woman to do
under such circumstances? Mourn over the departed one? Most
certainly; that she would ever do. But what about "His Majesty" and
the royal attentions? Should she turn a deaf ear to that too, too
eloquent tongue, dash down the crown of Spain, and busy herself in
unavailing regrets for the lost one? Before doing so it would be well
to pause.
And then there were other considerations. It was not the man who must
be considered, but the King. It was not her own feelings which she
must regard, but the well-being of Spain, the good of Europe, and the
interests of humanity. Would it not be better that the throne of
Spain should be filled by a virtuous Englishwoman than by some
frivolous Continental princess? Would it not be better that the Queen
of Spain should emulate the domestic graces of a Victoria than the
corrupt follies of an Isabella? Should she now, out of selfish
private grief, deprive Spain of such an inestimable boon? Would Spain
forgive her? Would England? Nay, would the world? Could she forgive
herself?
"Nay, nay," she said to herself, "this is not a time for weakness. My
heart must ever lie entombed in the grave of my dear lost Johnny; yet
State reasons compel me to bestow my hand. I cannot resist the cry of
stricken Spain. Yes, thou royal wooer! take my hand--it is thine; and
my only sorrow is that I cannot yet give thee all this stricken
heart. Yet patience, fond one; it may all be thine in
time--all--all."
Katie was surprised to observe an unwonted dignity suddenly come over
Mrs. Russell.
She informed that young person that she needn't call her "Auntie"
now, but "Madame," or "Senora," and proceeded to drop mysterious
hints, from which Katie's quick wit soon gathered the whole of the
facts of the case.
Katie exulted so in this discovery that she felt happier than ever in
her life before, and her only trouble was that she had no one to whom
she might tell this. However, she did the best she could, and set
herself to the task of confirming Mrs. Russell in her views and
intentions; in which she was so successful that the latter began to
imagine herself as almost already on the throne; and when Katie once
or twice accidentally addressed her as "Your Majesty," the good lady
did not check her.
Another visit from "His Majesty" found Mrs. Russell like ripe fruit
ready to be gathered. On this occasion, as before, the august monarch
came alone. He was in high good-humor, and smelt strongly of whiskey.
He began, in a strain of gallantry, complimenting the ladies in
general on their numerous charms.
"Yez oughtn't to be kept here undher lock an' kay," said "His
Majesty," "an' mesilf 'ud be the proud man to let yez out, ivery one
av yez, but thin how do I know that I'd iver see yez agin? I must
kape yez till me fate's decoided. I don't know yet that ye'd be
willin' to come to terruuis; an' so ye're loike O'Rafferty in the
song:
"'Oh, a fine pair av handcuffs he wore,
That the sheriff hiul nately adjusted,
Because that official persayved
That O'Rafferty couldn't be trusted.'"
"Ah, sire," said Mrs. Russell, with a sigh, "Your Royal Majesty holds
us by stronger bonds than bolts and bars."
"Be jabers!" exclaimed "His Majesty," "that's good! that's nate!
that's illigant! I couldn't bate that mesilf, an' I hope that all the
ladies prisent will join in that sintimint."
As he spoke, "His Majesty" looked hard at Katie, but that young lady
did not catch the royal eye.
"The throne av Spain," continued "His Majesty," "an' the crown an'
sceptre av Spain, an' all the r'y'l regalia, an' all the moight an'
majesty an' magnificence av its pomp an' power--be jabers! they're
all goin' a beggin' in this room; an' there's one here that's only
got to wink, an' it's hers, every bit av it."
Mrs. Russell here made desperate efforts to catch the royal eye, but
to no purpose, for that eye was fixed on Katie.
"Yis," continued "His Majesty," "an' afore to-morrow noon it 'ud be
all hers, any time at all--crown an' sceptre an' all--an' the
marriage ceremony cud come off in the mornin', loike Tim:
"'Oh, married was Tim at the dawn av day;
His bride was a stout owld widdy;
She owned a horse, an' she owned a shay,
An' her maiden name was Biddy.'"
The habits of this illustrious being were singular, and his tendency
to make odd quotations, which were not always particularly relevant,
was not the least surprising of his ways. In this last quotation Mrs.
Russell found several objectionable expressions; but on the whole the
idea was a flattering one, for the subject of the narrative was
represented as "marrying a widow;" and this little circumstance was
taken as a fresh proof of "His Majesty's" devotion.
"Yez mustn't think," continued "His Majesty," "that there's any lack
av our r'y'l attintion to yez because yez haven't got much to brag av
in the way av food; begorra! I'm in the same box mesilf, an' it isn't
much at all at all I can get here except mutton, an' it's mesilf that
'ud give all the mutton in Spain for a bit av a pratie. Howandiver, I
hope to get some fish by to-morrow mornin'. If we could only get a
taste av a few praties there'd be nothin' wantin'; for--
"'It's little I axes,
Au' little I wish;
If others want luxuries, let them;
For praties and fish
Make an illigant dish,
If ye only have whiskey to wet them.'"
These and other cheerful remarks of a general nature were addressed
by "His Majesty" to the company at large. It is true, the royal eye
was fixed exclusively on Katie, and therefore the royal remarks were
probably so many efforts to do the agreeable to her. But that young
lady persistently evaded the royal eye; and as Dolores was
disregarded altogether, it was natural enough that Mrs. Russell
should appropriate all the royal remarks and make the necessary
replies.
"Ah, sire! your 'Royal Majesty' is so very funny! Are all the crowned
heads thus?"
"All av thim--ivery mother's son av thim. An' they're an illigant
lot. But moind this--it's mesilf that bates the whole lot,
out-an'-out. Ye know, I'm not only King av Spain, but heir to the
crown av France."
"Is it possible?" said Mrs. Russell.
"Divil a loie I'm tellin'," said "His Majesty." "It's thrue, so it
is. I'm nixt av kin to Heuri Cinq--that's Chambord, ye know. The Count
av Paris is Orleans, not Bourbon. I'm Bourbon, begorra! An' whin
Chambord doies, an' the nixt revolution takes place in France, I'll
march on Paris an' give pace to that unhappy counthry. An', be
jabers! I'll take me wife wid me, an' we'll live in Paris, an' I'll
get her the most illigant dhresses, an' coort coschumes, an' bonnets,
an' boots, an' laces, an' gims, an' jools, that iver any woman wore.
The Quane av Spain 'll be the Quane av France too; an' what's more,
she'll be the quane of beauty an' fashion, an' the ex-Empress
Eugenie'll be nowhere. She'll be forgotten."
It was thus that the royal wooer tried to dazzle Katie's imagination;
but whatever the effect on her may have been, it is certain that Mrs.
Russell experienced the full effect of the dazzling visions which
those words were intended to call up.
"An' now," said "His Majesty," starting up, "we must be off. We've
got business. But we hope to see yez soon, an' have it all arranged.
Whisper, darlint"--and he bent down his royal head close to Mrs.
Russell's tingling ear--"whisper, jool: I'm wantin' to have a
discoorse wid ye--somethin' important--I must see ye alone. It's ill
convaynient just now, an' I don't want to be overheard. I'll wait
till the gyerruls are aslape, an' I'll luk in. Ye'll moind, will ye?
This noight, jool."
"Ah, sire--ah, 'Your Majesty,'" sighed Mrs. Russell, "I'm ready--why
not now?"
"Whis-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sht! shure ye'll spoil all, so ye will. Only
moind--to-noight!"
"Ah, sire, I'll never forget--never--never!"
"Thin moind to be on the luk-out," said "His Majesty;" and with
these remarkable words he retreated, leaving Mrs. Russell in a state
of mind which, as the novelists say, "can better be imagined than
described."