I now resume my subject. I had gone through the article of the tutor,
as well as I could; and will now observe upon what Mr. Locke
says, That children are wholly, if possible, to be kept from the
conversation of the meaner servants; whom he supposes to be, as too
frequently they are, _unbred_ and _debauched_, to use his own words.
Now, Sir, I think it is very difficult to keep children from
the conversation of servants at all times. The care of personal
attendance, especially in the child's early age, must fall upon
servants of one denomination or other, who, little or much, must be
conversant with the inferior servants, and so be liable to be tainted
by their conversation; and it will be difficult in this case to
prevent the taint being communicated to the child. Wherefore it will
be a _surer_, as well as a more _laudable_ method, to insist upon the
regular behaviour of the whole family, than to expect the child, and
its immediate attendant or tutor, should be the only good ones in it.
Nor is this so difficult to effect, as may be imagined. Your family
affords an eminent instance of it: the good have been confirmed, the
remiss have been reformed, the passionate have been tamed; and there
is not a family in the kingdom, I will venture to say, to the honour
of every individual in it, more uniform, more regular, and freer from
evil, and more regardful of what they say and do, than yours. And you
will allow, that though always honest, yet they were not always so
laudable, so exemplarily virtuous, as of late: which I mention only to
shew the practicableness of a reformation, even where bad habits have
taken place--For your Pamela, Sir, arrogates not to herself the honour
of this change: 'tis owing to the Divine grace shining upon hearts
naturally good; for else an example so easy, so plain, so simple,
from so young a mistress, who moreover had been exalted from their own
station, could not have been attended with such happy effects.
You see, dear Sir, what a master and mistress's example could do, with
a poor soul so far gone as Mrs. Jewkes. And I dare be confident, that
if, on the hiring of a new servant, sobriety of manners and a virtuous
conversation were insisted upon, and a general inoffensiveness in
words as well as actions was required from them, as indispensable
conditions of their service: and that a breach of that kind would be
no more passed over, than a wilful fraud, or an act of dishonesty; and
if, added to these requisites, their principals take care to support
these injunctions by their own example; I say, then, I dare be
confident, that if such a service did not _find_ them good, it would
_make_ them so.
And why should we not think this a very practicable scheme,
considering the servants we take are at years of discretion, and have
the strong ties of _interest_ superadded to the obligations we require
of them? and which, they must needs know (let 'em have what bad habits
they will) are right for _themselves_ to discharge, as well as for
_us_ to exact.
We all know of how much force the example of superiors is to
inferiors. It is too justly said, that the courts of princes abound
with the most profligate of men, insomuch that a man cannot well have
a more significantly bad title, than that of COURTIER: yet even among
these, one shall see the force of _example_, as I have heard you, Sir,
frequently observe: for, let but the land be blest with a pious and
religious prince, who makes it a rule with him to countenance and
promote men of virtue and probity; and to put the case still stronger,
let such a one even succeed to the most libertine reign, wherein the
manners of the people are wholly depraved: yet a wonderful change will
be immediately effected. The flagitious livers will be chased away, or
reformed; or at least will think it their duty, or their _interest_,
which is a stronger tie with such, to _appear_ reformed; and not a man
will seek for the favour or countenance of his prince, but by laudable
pretences, or by worthy actions.
In the reign of King Richard III, as I have read, deformity of body
was the fashion, and the nobility and gentry of the court thought it
an indispensable requisite of a graceful form to pad for themselves a
round shoulder, because the king was crooked. And can we think human
nature so absurdly wicked, that it would not much rather have tried
to imitate a personal perfection, than a deformity so shocking in its
appearance, in people who were naturally straight?
'Tis melancholy to reflect, that of all professions of men, the
mariners, who most behold the wonders of Almighty power displayed in
the great deep (a sight that has struck me with awe and reverence only
from a coast prospect), and who every moment, while at sea, have but
one frail plank betwixt themselves and inevitable destruction, are
yet, generally speaking, said to be the most abandoned invokers and
blasphemers of the name of that God, whose mercies they every moment
unthankfully, although so visibly, experience. Yet, as I once heard at
your table, Sir, on a particular occasion, we have now a commander
in the British navy, who, to his honour, has shewn the force of an
excellent example supporting the best precepts: for, on board of his
ship, not an oath or curse was to be heard; while volleys of
both (issued from impious mouths in the same squadron, out of his
knowledge) seemed to fill the sails of other ships with guilty breath,
calling aloud for that perdition to overtake them, which perhaps his
worthy injunctions and example, in his own, might be of weight to
suspend.
If such then, dear Sir, be the force of a good example, what have
parents to do, who would bring up a child at home under their own eye,
according to Mr. Locke's advice, but, first, to have a strict regard
to _their_ conduct! This will not want its due influence on the
servants; especially if a proper enquiry be first made into their
characters, and a watchful eye had over them, to keep them up to those
characters afterwards. And when they know they must forfeit the favour
of a worthy master, and their places too (which may be thought to
be the best of places, because an _uniform_ character must make all
around it easy and happy), they will readily observe such rules and
directions, as shall be prescribed to them--Rules and directions,
which their own consciences will tell them are _right_ to be
prescribed; and even right for them to follow, were they not insisted
upon by their superiors: and this conviction must go a great way
towards their _thorough_ reformation: for a person wholly convinced is
half reformed. And thus the hazard a child will run of being corrupted
by conversing with the servants, will be removed, and all Mr. Locke's
other rules be better enforced.
I have the boldness, Sir, to make another objection; and that is, to
the distance which Mr. Locke prescribes to be kept between children
and servants: for may not this be a means to fill the minds of the
former with a contempt of those below them, and an arrogance that is
not warranted by any rank or condition, to their inferiors of the same
species?
I have before transcribed what Mr. Locke has enjoined in relation to
this distance, where he says, that the children are by all means to
be kept _wholly_ from the conversation of the meaner servants. But
how much better advice does the same author give for the behaviour of
children to servants in the following words which, I humbly think, are
not so entirely consistent with the former, as might be expected from
so admirable an author.
"Another way," says he (Section 111), "to instil sentiments of
humanity, and to keep them lively in young folks, will be, to accustom
them to civility in their language and deportment towards their
inferiors, and meaner sort of people, particularly servants. It is
not unusual to observe the children in gentlemen's families treat the
servants of the house with domineering words, names of contempt, and
an imperious carriage, as if they were of another race, or species
beneath them. Whether ill example, the advantage of fortune or their
natural vanity, inspire this haughtiness, it should be prevented or
weeded out; and a gentle, courteous, affable carriage towards
the lower ranks of men placed in the room of it. No part of their
superiority will be hereby lost, but the distinction increased, and
their authority strengthened, when love in inferiors is joined to
outward respect, and the esteem of the person has a share in their
submission: and domestics will pay a more ready and cheerful service,
when they find themselves not spurned, because fortune has laid them
below the level of others at their master's feet."
These, dear Sir, are certainly the sentiments of a generous and
enlarged spirit: but I hope, I may observe, that the great distance
Mr. Locke before enjoins to be kept between children and servants, is
not very consistent with the above-cited paragraph: for if we would
prevent this undue contempt of inferiors in the temper of children,
the best way, as I humbly presume to think, is not to make it so
unpardonable a fault for them, especially in their early years, to
be in their company. For can one make the children shun the
servants without rendering them odious or contemptible to them, and
representing them to the child in such disadvantageous light, as must
needs make the servants vile in their eyes, and themselves lofty
and exalted in their own? and thereby cause them to treat them with
"domineering words, and an imperious carriage, as if they were of
another race or species beneath them; and so," as Mr. Locke says,
"nurse up their natural pride into an habitual contempt of those
beneath them; and then," as he adds, "where will that probably end,
but in oppression and cruelty?" But this matter, dear Sir, I presume
to think, will all be happily accommodated and reconciled, when the
servants' good behaviour is secured by the example and injunctions of
the principals.
Upon the whole, then, of what Mr. Locke has enjoined, and what I have
taken the liberty to suggest on this head, it shall be my endeavour,
in that early part of your dear Billy's education, which you will
intrust to me, to inculcate betimes in his mind the principles of
universal benevolence and kindness to others, especially to inferiors.
Nor shall I fear, that the little dear will be wanting to himself
in assuming, as he grows up, an air of superiority and distance of
behaviour equal to his condition, or that he will descend too low for
his station. For, Sir, there is a pride and self-love natural to human
minds, that will seldom be kept so low, as to make them humbler than
they ought to be.
I have observed, before now, instances of this, in some of the
families we visit, between the young Masters or Misses, and those
children of lower degree, who have been brought to play with them, or
divert them. On the Masters' and Misses' side I have always seen, they
lead the play and prescribe the laws of it, be the diversion what it
will; while, on the other hand, their lower-rank play-fellows have
generally given into their little humours, though ever so contrary to
their own; and the difference of dress and appearance, and the
notion they have of the more eminent condition of their play-fellows'
parents, have begot in them a kind of awe and respect, that perhaps
more than sufficiently secures the superiority of the one, and the
subordination of the other.
The advantage of this universal benevolence to a young gentleman, as
he grows up, will be, as I humbly conceive, so to diffuse itself over
his mind, as to influence all his actions, and give a grace to every
thing he does or says, and make him admired and respected from the
best and most durable motives; and will be of greater advantage to him
for his attaining a handsome address and behaviour (for it will make
him conscious that he _merits_ the distinction he will meet with, and
encourage him still _more_ to merit it), than the best rules that can
be given him for that purpose.
I will therefore teach the little dear courteousness and affability,
from the properest motives I am able to think of; and will instruct
him in only one piece of pride, that of being above doing a mean or
low action. I will caution him not to behave in a lordly or insolent
manner, even to the lowest servants. I will tell him that that
superiority is the most commendable, and will be the best maintained,
which is owing to humanity and kindness, and grounded on the
perfections of the _mind_, rather than on the _accidental_ advantage
of _fortune_ and _condition_: that if his conduct be such as it ought
to be, there will be no occasion to tell a servant, that he will
be observed and respected: that _humility_, as I once told my Miss
Goodwin, is a charming grace, and most conspicuously charming in
persons of distinction; for that the poor, who are humbled by their
condition, cannot glory in it, as the rich may; and that it makes
the lower ranks of people love and admire the high-born, who can so
condescend: whereas _pride_, in such, is meanness and insult, as it
owes its boast and its being to accidental advantages; which, at the
same time, are seldom of _his_ procuring, who can be so mean as to be
proud: that even I would sooner forget pride in a low degree than in
a high; for it may be a security in the first against doing a base
thing: but in the rich, it is a base thing itself, and an impolitic
one too; for the more distinction a proud mind grasps at, the less it
will have; and every poor despised person can whisper such a one in
the ear, when surrounded with, and adorned by, all his glittering
splendours, that he _was_ born, and _must_ die, in the _same manner_
with those whom he despises.
Thus will the doctrine of benevolence and affability, implanted early
in the mind of a young gentleman, and duly cultivated as he grows
up, inspire him with the requisite conduct to command respect from
_proper_ motives; and while it will make the servants observe a
decorum towards him, it will oblige them to have a guard upon their
words and actions in presence of one, whose manner of education and
training-up would be so great a reproach to them, if they were grossly
faulty: so thus, I conceive, a mutual benefit will flow to the manners
of each; and _his_ good behaviour will render him, in some measure, an
instructive monitor to the whole family.
But permit me, Sir, to enlarge on the hint I have already given, in
relation to the example of parents, in case a preference be given
to the home education. For if this point cannot be secured, I should
always imagine it were best to put the child to such a school, as I
formerly mentioned. But yet the subject might be spared by me in this
case, as I write with a view only to your family; though you will
remember, that while I follow Mr. Locke, whose work is public, I must
be considered as directing myself to the generality of the world: for,
Sir, I have the pleasure to say, that your conduct in your family is
unexceptionable; and the pride to think that mine is no disgrace to
it. No one hears a word from your mouth unbecoming the character of a
polite gentleman; and I shall always be very regardful of what falls
from mine. Your temper, Sir, is equal and kind to all your servants,
and they love you, as well as awfully respect you: and well does your
beautiful and considerate mind, deserve it of them all: and they,
seeing I am watchful over my own conduct, so as not to behave unworthy
of your kind example, regard me as much as I could wish they should;
for well do they know, that their beloved master will have it so, and
greatly honours and esteems me himself. Your table-talk is such
as persons of the strictest principles may hear, and join in: your
guests, and your friends are, generally speaking, persons of the
genteelest life, and of the best manners. So that Mr. Locke would have
advised _you_, of all gentlemen, had he been living, and known you,
to give your children a home education, and assign these, and still
stronger reasons for it.
But were we to speak to the generality of parents, I fear this would
be an almost insuperable objection to a home education. For (I am
sorry to say it) when one turns one's eyes to the bad precedents given
by the heads of some families, it is hardly to be wondered at, that
there is so little virtue and religion among men. For can those
parents be surprised at the ungraciousness of their _children_,
who hardly ever shew them, that their _own_ actions are governed
by reasonable or moral motives? Can the gluttonous father expect a
self-denying son? With how ill a grace must a man who will often be
disguised in liquor, preach sobriety? a passionate man, patience?
an irreligious man, piety? How will a parent, whose hands are seldom
without cards, or dice in them, be observed in lessons against the
pernicious vice of gaming? Can the profuse father, who is squandering
away the fortunes of his children, expect to be regarded in a lesson
of frugality? 'Tis impossible he should, except it were that the
youth, seeing how pernicious his father's example is, should have the
grace to make a proper use of it, and look upon it as a sea-mark, as
it were, to enable him to shun the dangerous rocks, on which he
sees his father splitting. And even in this _best_ case, let it be
considered, how much shame and disgrace his thoughtless parent ought
to take to himself, who can admonish his child by nothing but the
_odiousness_ of his own vice; and how little it is owing to him, that
his guilt is not _doubled_, by his son's treading in his steps! Let
such an unhappy parent duly weigh this, and think how likely he is to
be, by his bad example, the cause of his child's perdition, as well as
his own, and stand unshocked and unamended, if he can!
It is then of no avail to wish for discreet servants, if the conduct
of the parents is faulty. If the fountain-head be polluted, how shall
the under-currents run clear? That master and mistress, who would
exact from their servants a behaviour which they themselves don't
practice, will be but ill observed. And that child, who discovers
excesses and errors in his parents, will be found to be less profited
by their good precepts, than prejudiced by bad examples. Excessive
fondness this hour; violent passions and perhaps execrations, the
next; unguarded jests, and admiration of fashionable vanities, rash
censures, are perhaps the best, that the child sees in, or hears from
those, who are most concerned to inculcate good precepts into his
mind. And where it is so, a home education must not surely be chosen.
Having thus, as well as my slender abilities will permit, presumed to
deliver my opinion upon three great points, _viz_. the qualifications
of a tutor; the necessity of having an eye to the morals of servants;
and the example of parents (all which, being taken care of, will give
a preference, as I imagine, to a home education); permit me, dear
Sir, to speak a little further to a point, that I have already touched
upon.
It is that of _emulation_; which I humbly conceive to be of great
efficacy to lead children on in their duties and studies. And how,
dear Sir, shall this advantage be procured for a young master, who has
no school-fellows and who has no example to follow, but that of
his tutor, whom he cannot, from the disparity of years, and other
circumstances, without pain (because of this disparity), think of
emulating? And this, I conceive, is a very great advantage to such a
school education, as I mentioned in my former letter, where there are
no more scholars taken in, than the master can with ease and pleasure
instruct.
But one way, in my humble opinion, is left to answer this objection,
and still preserve the reason for the preference which Mr. Locke gives
to a home education; and that is, what I formerly hinted, to take
into your family the child of some honest neighbour of but middling
circumstances, and like age of your own, but who should give apparent
indications of his natural promptitude, ingenuous temper, obliging
behaviour and good manners; and to let him go hand-in-hand with yours
in his several studies and lessons under the same tutor.
The child would be sensible of the benefit, as well as of the
distinction, he received, and consequently of what was expected from
him, and would double his diligence, and exert all his good qualities,
which would inspire the young gentleman with the wished-for emulation,
and, as I imagine, would be so promotive of his learning, that it
would greatly compensate the tutor for his pains with the additional
scholar; for the young gentleman would be ashamed to be outdone by one
of like years and stature with himself. And little rewards might
be proposed to the greatest proficient, in order to heighten the
emulation.
Then, Sir, the _generosity_ of such a method, to a gentleman of your
fortune, and beneficent mind, would be its own reward, were there no
other benefit to be received from it.
Moreover, such an ingenious youth might, by his good morals and
industry, hereafter be of service, in some place of trust in the
family; or it would be easy for a gentleman of your interest in the
world, if such a thing offered not, to provide for the youth in the
navy, in some of the public offices, or among your private friends.
If he proved faulty in his morals, his dismission would be in your own
power, and would be punishment enough.
But, if on the other hand, he proved a sober and hopeful youth, he
would make an excellent companion for your Billy in riper years; as
he would be, in a manner, a corroborator of his morals; for, as his
circumstances would not support him in any extravagance, so they would
be a check upon his inclination; and this being seconded by the hopes
of future preferment from your favour and interest, which he could not
expect but upon the terms of his perseverance in virtue, he would find
himself under a necessity of setting such an example, as might be of
great benefit to his companion, who should be watched, as he grew up,
that he did not (if his ample fortune became dangerous to his virtue)
contribute out of his affluence to draw the other after him into
extravagance. And to this end, as I humbly conceive, the noble
doctrine of _independence_ should be early instilled into both their
minds, and upon all occasions, inculcated and inforced; which would be
an inducement for the one to endeavour to _improve_ his fortune by his
honest industry, lest he never be enabled to rise out of a state of
dependence; and to the other, to _keep,_ if not to _improve,_ his
own, lest he ever fall into such a servile state, and thereby lose the
glorious power of conferring happiness on the deserving, one of the
highest pleasures that a generous mind can know; a pleasure, Sir,
which you have oftener experienced than thousands of gentlemen:
and which may you still continue to experience for a long and happy
succession of years, is the prayer of one, the most obliged of all
others in her own person, as well as in the persons of her dearest
relations, and who owes to this glorious beneficence the honour she
boasts, of being _your ever affectionate and grateful_ P.B.