He purchases pipe-sticks, and inspires a hopeless passion in the breast
of his old masters daughter.
Osman Agas house was situated in a narrow lane, leading out of the
street which leads into one of the principal bazaars. Immediately in
front of the door was a heap of rubbish, upon which a litter of kittens
had just been thrown, making an essay of their young voices as we
passed; and a little farther, on a similar mound, a colony of puppies
had been planted, guarded by a mangy mother, which, by their united
cries, left us nothing to desire in the way of discord. Between these
was situated the gate of Osman Agas house, into which we entered. It
was a small building, consisting of some crazy rooms, which neither
indicated riches nor cleanliness. As I had no baggage belonging to me,
except a small carpet, my removal here from the caravanserai was soon
accomplished, and I took up my future abode in a corner of mine hosts
principal room, where he also spread his bed and slept.
By way of celebrating my arrival, he treated me with roasted lamb, and
an abundant dish of rice, to which were added dates, cheese, and onions.
The dishes were cooked in the harem, by the hands of his wife
and daughter, aided by a female slave, the only domestic in the
establishment. Neither of these had I yet seen, for it was dusk when
we reached the house; nor, from good manners, did I ask more about them
than Osman was inclined to tell me.
Besides myself and his son, the old man had invited a brother dealer in
lambskins to the entertainment, with whom he had formed a close intimacy
during his travels in Bokhara. The conversation turned exclusively upon
commerce, about which I was so ignorant, that I took very little share
in it, although, considering that it was my intention to enter it
myself, I was very happy to open my ears to all that was said.
They entered deeply into the subject and discussed the relative merits
or each article of trade. To hear them talk, one might have inferred
that the end of the world was at hand, because it was rumoured that the
price of their favourite commodity had fallen at Constantinople. They
dissuaded me from embarking my capital in that article, but recommended
in preference that I should invest it in pipe-sticks, which, they
remarked, were subject to no decay, and for which there was a constant
demand in the market of Constantinople.
The entertainment being over, and the guests having parted, I ruminated
deeply upon what I had heard, and forthwith turned the whole weight
of my thoughts to pipe-sticks. There, in a corner, I sat all day
calculating what number of pipes I might acquire for my tomauns,
and what would be my profit when sold at Constantinople; and when my
imagination was heated by the hopes of the ultimate fortune that might
be realized, I gave myself up to the most extravagant expectations. The
plan of the merchant, whom Saadi relates he met in the island of Kish,
was trifling when compared to the one which I formed. With the produce
of my pipe-sticks, said I, I will buy figs at Smyrna, which I will
take to Europe, and having made great profit by them there, my money
shall then he invested in skull-caps, which I will carry to Grand Cairo;
these being sold in detail, for ready cash, I will carefully pack my
money in sacks, and proceed to Ethiopia, where I will purchase slaves,
each of whom I will sell for great profit at Moccha, and thence I will
make the pilgrimage to the tomb of the Prophet. From Moccha I will
transport coffee to Persia, which will fetch an amazing price; and then
I will repose in my native city, until I can purchase a high situation
at court, which may in time lead me to become the grand vizier to the
King of Kings.
Having thus disposed of the future in my favour, I set myself actively
to work in laying in my merchandise. According to the most approved
method, I made a bargain with a wood-cutter, who was to proceed to the
mountains of Lour and Bakhtiari, where he would find forests of the wild
cherry-tree, from which he would make his selections, according to the
sizes with which I should furnish him. He was then to return to Bagdad,
where the sticks would be bored, and made up into appropriate parcels
for the markets of Turkey.
All this was duly executed; but during the time that I was waiting for
the return of the wood-cutter, I was attacked by a disorder, from
which few residents, as well as strangers at Bagdad are exempt, which
terminating by a large pimple, as it dries up, leaves an indelible mark
on the skin. To my great mortification, it broke out upon the middle of
my right cheek, immediately upon the confines of the beard, and there
left its baleful print, destroying some of the most favourite of my
hairs, and making that appear a broken and irregular waste, which before
might be likened to a highly cultivated slope.
I bore this calamity as well as I was able, although I could not help
frequently quarrelling with fate, for having chosen so conspicuous
a spot to place that which might have been so conveniently settled
anywhere else.
So be it, said I, heaving a sigh at the same time; the wise man said
true when he remarked, if every stone was left to choose what it would
be, most probably it would be a diamond; and if every man might choose
whereabouts he would have his pimple, there would be no ugly faces in
Bagdad.
However, by way of consolation, I recollected the Osman Agas face was
the mirror of deformity, although his pimple had budded elsewhere. He,
instead of condoling with me on my misfortune, rather seemed to enjoy
it.
Hajji, said he to me, if you are not afflicted with any greater
calamity than this in life, look upon it as a blessing: although one
side of your face be deformed, still the other is perfect. The turquoise
is the perfection of colour on one side, but is black and dirty on the
other; still it is a turquoise, and a precious stone.
Ah, said I to myself, the ugly man cannot endure the sight of the
handsome, no more than the vicious can the virtuous: in the same manner
as curs of the market howl at a hunting dog, but dare not approach him.
Notwithstanding the deformity of my cheek, I found, as I continued to
be an inmate in the house of my old master, that I had made no small
impression upon the heart of his daughter, the fair Dilaram, who, by a
thousand little arts, did not fail to make me acquainted with the state
of her affections. Her mother and she were both experienced in the mode
of curing the Bagdad disorder, and they undertook to superintend mine.
My pimple and Dilarams love appear to have risen at about the same
time; their progress was mutual, and by the time that the former had
risen to its full height, the latter had become quite inconvenient.
I, tis true, had not caught the infection; for my charmer was the
very image of her father, whose face and that of an old camels were
so entirely identified in my mind, that I never could lose that ugly
association of ideas when I gazed upon her. It was, therefore, a
considerable relief to me when the season for travelling approached,
and when the caravan for Constantinople was about to assemble. My
pipe-sticks were collected and packed into their proper bundles, my
accounts with my creditors regularly discharged, my wardrobe complete,
and I was all delight when it was announced, that at the very next
favourable conjunction of the planets the caravan was to take its
departure. But as for poor Dilaram, she hovered about my cheek with
looks of despair; and as fast as the swelling subsided, she appeared to
lose the only tie which kept her united to this world and its vanities.