He proceeds to the kings camp, and gives a specimen of lying on a grand
scale.
I returned to my chief full of apprehension at the threat which I had
received; and knowing how very tenacious all our great men are of power
over their own servants, I did not fail immediately to inform him of the
language which the serdar had entertained me with. He became furious,
and I had only to fan the flame which I had raised in order to create a
quarrel between them; but, having more fears about the serdars power of
hurting me than I had confidence in the ability of the chief executioner
to protect me, I thought it best for all parties that I should retire
from the scene, and craved my masters permission to return to Tehran.
Pleased with an opportunity of showing the serdar that no body but
himself could control his servants, he at once assented to my proposal;
and forthwith began to give me instructions concerning what I should say
to the grand vizier touching the late expedition, and particularly in
what light I was to place his own individual prowess.
You yourself were there, Hajji, said he to me, and therefore can
describe the whole action as well as I could. We cannot precisely say
that we gained a victory, because, alas! we have no heads to show;
but we also were not defeated. The serdar, ass that he is, instead of
waiting for the artillery, and availing himself of the infantry, attacks
a walled town with his cavalry only, and is very much surprised that the
garrison shut their gates, and fire at him from the ramparts: of course
he can achieve nothing, and retires in disgrace. Had I been your leader,
things would have gone otherwise; and as it was, I was the only man who
came hand to hand with the enemy. I was wounded in a desperate manner;
and had it not been for the river between us, not a man of them would
have been left to tell the tale. You will say all this, and as much more
as you please; then, giving me a packet of letters to the grand vizier,
and to the different men in office, and an _arizeh_ (a memorial) to
the Shah, he ordered me to depart; I found the Shah still encamped at
Sultanieh, although the autumn was now far advanced, and the season
for returning to Tehran near at hand. I presented myself at the grand
viziers levee, with several other couriers, from different parts of
the empire, and delivered my dispatches. When he had inspected mine,
he called me to him, and said aloud, You are welcome! You also were at
Hamamlû? The infidels did not dare to face the _Kizzil bashes_, eh? The
Persian horseman, and the Persian sword, after all, nobody can face.
Your khan, I see, has been wounded; he is indeed one of the Shahs best
servants. Well it was no worse. You must have had hot work on each bank
of the river.
To all of this, and much more, I said Yes, yes, and no, no, as fast
as the necessity of the remark required; and I enjoyed the satisfaction
of being looked upon as a man just come out of a battle. The vizier then
called to one of his mirzas or secretaries, Here, said he, you
must make out a _fatteh nameh_ (a proclamation of victory), which
must immediately be sent into the different provinces, particularly
to Khorassan, in order to overawe the rebel khans there; and let
the account be suited to the dignity and character of our victorious
monarch. We are in want of a victory just at present; but, recollect, a
good, substantial, and bloody victory.
How many strong were the enemy? inquired the mirza, looking towards
me.
_Bisyar, bisyar,_ many, many, answered I, hesitating and embarrassed
how many it would be agreeable that I should say.
Put down fifty thousand, said the vizier coolly.
How many killed? said the mirza, looking first at the vizier, then at
me.
Write ten to fifteen thousand killed, answered the minister: remember
these letters have to travel a great distance. It is beneath the dignity
of the Shah to kill less than his thousands and tens of thousands. Would
you have him less than Rustam, and weaker than Afrasiab? No, our kings
must be drinkers of blood, and slayers of men, to be held in estimation
by their subjects, and surrounding nations. Well, have you written?
said the grand vizier.
Yes, at your highnesss service, answered the mirza; I have written
(reading from his paper) that the infidel dogs of Moscovites (whom may
Allah in his mercy impale on stakes of living fires!) dared to appear in
arms to the number of fifty thousand, flanked and supported by a
hundred mouths spouting fire and brimstone; but that as soon as the
all-victorious armies of the Shah appeared, ten to fifteen thousand
of them gave up their souls; whilst prisoners poured in in such vast
numbers, that the prices of slaves have diminished 100 per cent in all
the slave-markets of Asia.
Barikallah! Well done, said the grand vizier. You have written well.
If the thing be not exactly so, yet, by the good luck of the Shah, it
will, and therefore it amounts to the same thing. Truth is an
excellent thing when it suits ones purpose, but very inconvenient when
otherwise.
Yes, said the mirza, as he looked up from his knee, upon which he
rested his hand to write his letter, and quoting a well-known passage
in Saadi, Falsehood mixed with good intentions, is preferable to truth
tending to excite strife.
The vizier then called for his shoes, rose from his seat, mounted the
horse that was waiting for him at the door of his tent, and proceeded to
the audience of the Shah, to give an account of the different dispatches
that he had just received. I followed him, and mixed in with his large
retinue of servants, until he turned round to me, and said, You are
dismissed; go, and take your rest.
[Illustration: Death of Zeenab. 21.jpg]