Hajji is appointed to a situation under government--He becomes an
executioner.
I watched an opportunity before the doctor set out the next morning for
the _Der-Khoneh_,[62] to speak upon my future plans, and to request him
to lose no time in asking for me the place of the deceased nasakchi from
the chief executioner. I urged the necessity of acting immediately; for
as the Shah would leave the capital for his camp at Sultanieh, in
the course of a few days, and as the doctor would be called upon to
accompany him, it was plain, if he did not in some manner provide for
me, I should be left upon his hands.
The doctor, who was still calculating the expenses of his entertainment
to the Shah, and had resolved upon adopting a system of more rigid
economy in his household, was not sorry to lose a hungry hanger-on, and
without hesitation he promised to assist me. It was agreed between us,
that he would forthwith call upon the chief executioner, and appointed
me to meet him at court, after the mornings _selam_ (levee) was over.
As soon, therefore, as the mid-day prayer had been announced from the
mosque, I went to the palace, and took my station without the room
which is appropriated for the use of the head executioner, and which is
situated with its large window immediately facing the principal gate.
Several persons were collected there. He himself was taken up with
saying his prayers in a corner, and apparently completely abstracted
from a conversation that was carrying on between my friend the poet
laureate and the under-master of ceremonies.
The latter was describing to the former the death of the unfortunate
nasakchi, and was mixing a considerable portion of the marvellous in his
narrative, when the chief executioner, from the middle of his devotions,
cried out, _Een derough est,_--thats a lie--have patience, and I
will tell you how it was, and then went on with his holy invocations.
As soon as they were over, and almost before he had finished his last
prostration, he began his story, relating the fact with infinitely more
exaggeration than the master of the ceremonies had done, and finishing
by a round assertion, that the Frank had bled the poor man to death,
after the Persian doctor had brought him to life only by shaking
him.[63]
During the chief executioners narration, Mirza Ahmak entered the room,
and far from denying what was asserted of the two doctors, he confirmed
it the more by new and stronger circumstances, and then finished
by pointing to me, and said, This is he who would have saved the
nasakchis life, if he had not been prevented. Upon this, the eyes of
all present were turned upon me, and I was called upon to relate the
whole circumstance as it had happened, which I did, making my version
coincide as nearly as possible with what had been already related; but
giving all the merit of the science which I had displayed to the tuition
of the chief physician. Mirza Ahmak, elated by my praise, was full of
zeal to serve me, and he then introduced me to the chief executioner as
a man fit and willing to undertake the office of the deceased nasakchi.
How! said the head of the nasakchies, a doctor become an executioner!
how can that be?
There is no harm in that, said the poet (looking at the doctor through
the corner of his eye)--they are both in the same line--the one does
his business with more certainty than the other, thats true; but after
all, it signifies little whether a man dies gradually by a pill, or at
once by a stroke of the scimitar.
As for that, retorted Mirza Ahmak, to judge of others by you,
poets are in the same line too; for they murder mens reputations; and
everybody will agree with me, that that is a worse sort of killing than
the doctors (as you were pleased to say), or the nasakchis.
Thats all very well, exclaimed the chief executioner; you may kill
in any manner you choose, provided you leave me the soldiers manner.
Give me good hard fighting--let me have my thrust with the lance, and my
cut with the sabre, and I want nothing more--let me snuff up the smell
of gunpowder, and I leave the scent of the rose to you, Mr. Poet--give
me but the roar of cannon, and I shall never envy you the song of the
nightingale. We all have our weaknesses--these are mine.
Yes, said the master of the ceremonies, addressing himself to
the whole assembly: Everybody knows your several merits. The Shah
particularly (who by the by has studied the art of killing as well
as any of you) is frequently expressing his delight, that of all the
monarchs which Persia ever had, he is the best served; and with that
feeling he talks of carrying his arms into the very heart of Georgia.
If the Russians once hear that you are going amongst them, addressing
himself to the chief executioner, they may begin to make their accounts
clear in this world, and prepare for the next.
What are the Russians? said the executioner, with half a shrug and
half a shiver; they are dust--they are nothing--the possession of
Georgia by the Russians is to Persia what a flea which has got into
my shirt is to me: it teazes me now and then, but if I gave myself
the least trouble, I would hunt it out in a minute. The Russians are
nothing. Then, as if he were anxious to waive the subject, he turned to
me, and said: Well, I agree to take you into the service, provided you
are as fond of the smell of powder as I am. A nasakchi must have the
strength of a Rustam, the heart of a lion, and the activity of a
tiger. Then looking at me from head to foot, he seemed pleased with my
appearance, and forthwith ordered me to go to his _naib_, or lieutenant,
who would equip me for my office, and give me instructions respecting
all the duties I should have to perform.
I found the Naib to be in the midst of preparations for the departure
of the Shah, giving his orders, and receiving the reports of those under
his command. As soon as he was informed that I was the man appointed to
succeed the deceased officer, he put me in possession of his horse and
its accoutrements, gave me strict injunctions to take the greatest care
of it, and informed me that I could not be provided with another unless
I brought back its tail and the mark peculiar to the royal horses, which
is burnt on its flank. My stipend was fixed at thirty tomauns per annum,
with food for myself and horse. I found myself in dress and arms, except
a small hatchet, which indicated my office and was provided by the
government.
But before I proceed further, it is necessary that I make my reader
acquainted with the person and character of Namerd Khan, my new master.
He was a tall, square-shouldered, bony man, about forty-five years of
age--young enough to be still called a _khûb jûan_ (a fine youth). The
features of his face were cast in a deep mould, and shaded by black and
thick eyebrows, as well as by a jet black beard and moustachios. His
hand was particularly large and muscular; and from the black hairs that
curled out from the crevices of his shirt, it was evident that his fur
was of the thickest quality. Altogether he was of a figure commanding,
but coarse, and looked his office greatly to the advantage of the
peace of the city, for the very sight of him was sufficient to awe the
evil-minded. He was the most celebrated _khôsh guzerân_ (sensualist)
in Tehran. He drank wine without compunction, and freely cursed the
mollahs, who promised him a seat in the regions below for holding the
injunctions of the Prophet so cheap. His house was the seat of revelry;
the noise of singing and tambours was heard there from night till
morning. He kept men dancers and women dancers; and was the protector of
every Lûti,[64] however impudent and obscene he might be. But with all
this, he did not in the least relax in the severities of his office;
and one might frequently hear, amid the sounds of revelry, the cries and
groans of some unfortunate wretch who was writhing under the torture
of the bastinado on his feet. He was an excellent horseman, and very
dexterous at the spear exercise; and although there was everything in
his appearance to make one believe that he was a soldier and a man of
prowess, yet in fact he was a most arrant coward. He endeavoured
to conceal this defect of his nature by boasting and big words; and
succeeded in persuading those who did not know his real character, that
he was among the modern Persians, what Sâm and Afrasiâb[65] were among
the ancient.
His lieutenant, a man of stern aspect, was an active and intelligent
officer: he understood the management of his chief, whom he flattered
into a belief, that, besides the Shah and himself, no one was worthy to
be called a man in Persia. I soon discovered that his prevailing passion
was avarice; for when he found that I was to be installed in my office
without making him a present, there was no end to the difficulties which
he threw in my way. However, by dint of making use of that tongue which
nature had given me, and persuading him, in his turn, that he was the
cream of lieutenants, and the very best of materials for the future
executioner in chief, he relaxed in his dislike, and even flattered me
so much as to say, that, by the blessing of Allah, the benign and
the merciful, he believed that I should not fail to become in time an
ornament to the profession.
I still kept my lodging at the doctors house until the period of the
Shahs departure, and filled up my time in preparing for the journey.
The very circumstance of being a nasakchi gave me consequence in the
bazaar, and I found no difficulty in procuring everything I wanted upon
credit. During my stay with the doctor, I had managed to set myself
up with a small capital of necessaries, which I had procured either
in presents from patients, or by happy contrivances of my own. As for
instance, I wanted a bed, a quilt, and a pillow: a poor man happening
to die under our charge, I assured his relations, whom I knew to be the
most bigoted of Mussulmans, that his death could be no fault of ours,
for no one could doubt the skill with which he had been treated, but
that the bed upon which he lay must be unfortunate; for in the first
place, the quilt was of silk;[66] and in the next, the foot of the bed
had not been turned towards the Kebleh,[67] as it ought to have been:
this was enough for the family to discard the bed, and it became mine.
A looking-glass was necessary to my toilet: a mirza, sick of the
jaundice, looked at himself in one which he possessed, and was
horror-struck at his colour. I assured him that it only proceeded from
a defect in the glass, for that in fact he was as fresh as a rose. He
threw it away, and I took it home with me.
No one was stricter than Mirza Ahmak himself in all the exteriors of
religion, and scrupulous to a fault about things forbidden as unclean. I
was in want of a pair of _yakhdans_, or trunks, and a pair belonging
to the doctor, which were lying idle in an unfrequented room, were
frequently the objects of my contemplation. How shall I manage to become
master of these? thought I: had I but half the invention of Dervish
Sefer, I should already have been packing up my things in them. A
thought struck me: one of the many curs, which range wild throughout
Tehran, had just pupped under a ruined archway, close to our house.
Unseen, I contrived to lodge the whole litter within one of the trunks,
and to make a deposit of old bones in the other. When they came to be
moved, preparatory to the doctors journey (for he always accompanies
the Shah), the puppies and their mother set up such a confusion of
yells, that the servant who had disturbed them ran breathless with the
information to the doctor, who, followed by his household, including
myself, proceeded to the spot. As soon as the state of the case had been
ascertained, many were struck by the singularity of the circumstance, as
an omen portending no good to the doctors house. One said, This comes
of marrying the khanum; she will give him a houseful of _harem zadehs_.
Another said, The puppies are yet blind: God grant that we and the
doctor may not become so likewise! The doctor himself was only vexed by
the loss of his trunks; he pronounced them to be _nejes_ (unclean) from
that moment, and ordered them, puppies, bitch and all, immediately to
be expelled. I was not long in appropriating them; and very soon assumed
all the consequence of a man possessing trunks, which also implied
things worthy to be put into them. Little by little, I scraped together
a sufficient quantity of effects to be able to talk big about my
baggage; and when preparations for our departure were making, I
held myself entitled to the privilege of squabbling with the kings
mule-drivers concerning the necessity of a mule for carrying it.