Hajji Baba leaves Meshed, is cured of his sprain, and relates a story.
When I had cleared the gate which leads out of Meshed to Tehran, I shook
the collar of my coat, and exclaimed to myself: May Heaven send thee
misfortunes! for had I been heard by any one of the pilgrims, who were
now on their return--it very probably would have gone ill with me. My
companion, Dervish Sefer, whom I knew to be of my mind, entered into my
feelings, and we both vented our spleen against the inhabitants of that
place; I for the drubbings which had been inflicted upon me, he for the
persecutions he had undergone from the Mollahs.
As for you, my friend, said he to me, you are young; you have much
to suffer before you gain the experience necessary to carry you through
life: do not repine at the first beating; it win probably save you many
more, and will teach you another time to discover a Mohtesib, although
hid under a womans veil: but (taking hold of his beard) for a man of
my age, one who has seen so much of the world, to be obliged to set out
upon his travels again, is truly a great misfortune.
But it would have been easy for you, said I, to remain at Meshed, if
you had chosen it: had you been regular in your prayers and ablutions,
you might have bid defiance to the Mollahs.
That is true enough, said the Dervish; but the fact is, that the
festival of the Ramazan is now close at hand, when I should have been
more closely watched than ever by them; and as I cannot and will not
fast (smoking being as necessary to me as air, and wine as daily bread),
I have thought it better to make a journey during that time, for the
sake of the indulgence which is permitted to travellers. I might perhaps
have deceived them, as I have frequently done before, by eating and
smoking in secret; but one so notorious as I, who lives by the supposed
sanctity of his character, being narrowly watched, cannot take such
liberties.
We arrived at Semnan without the occurrence of anything remarkable,
excepting, that a day or two before we reached it, when I was helping my
friend Ali Kâtir to load one of his mules, I sprained my back again in
its old place: the pain was so great, that it became impossible for
me to proceed with the caravan, and I determined to remain where I was
until I was cured; particularly, as all danger from the Turcomans having
passed, it was needless to make myself any longer a dependant upon a
caravan. Dervish Sefer, who was anxious to get to the wine and pleasures
of the capital, continued his journey.
I took up my abode in a tomb on the skirts of the town; and having
spread my goats skin in a corner of it, I proclaimed my arrival,
according to the custom adopted by travelling dervishes, blowing my
horn, and making my exclamations of _Hak! Hû! Allah Akbar!_ in a most
sonorous and audible manner. I had allowed my person to acquire a wild
and extravagant appearance, and flattered myself that I did credit to
the instructions which had been given me in the arts of deception.
[Illustration: Hajji is cauterised for his sprain. 12.jpg]
I was visited by several women, for whom I wrote talismans, and they
repaid me by small presents of fruit, milk, honey, and other trifles.
My back became so painful, that I was obliged to inquire if no one at
Semnan could afford me relief. The barber and the farrier were the
only two supposed to possess any medical talents; the one skilled
in bleeding, drawing teeth, and setting a limb; the other, from his
knowledge in the diseases of horses, being often consulted in human
ailments. There was also a _gîs sefid_, or grey wig, an old woman of a
hag-like and decrepit appearance, who was looked up to as an oracle in
all cases where the knowledge of the barber and farrier was of no avail,
and who had besides a great many nostrums and recipes for all sorts of
aches. Each came to me in succession: all were agreed that my disorder
proceeded from cold; and as fire was the hottest thing in opposition
to cold that they knew of, they as unanimously agreed that the actual
cautery should immediately be applied to the part; and the farrier, on
account of his dealings in hot and cold iron, was appointed operator. He
accordingly brought a pan of charcoal, a pair of bellows, and some small
skewers; and seating himself in a corner, made his fire, and heated his
skewers: when they were red hot, I was placed on the ground flat on
my face, and then, with great solemnity, my back was seared with the
burning iron, whilst all the bystanders, at every touch, exclaimed, with
great earnestness, _Khoda shefa mîdehed_, God gives relief. My medical
attendants, in their united wisdom, out of compliment to the prophet and
the twelve Imâms, marked me in thirteen different places; and although,
when I had endured half the operation, I began to cry out most lustily
with the pain, still I was not let off until the whole was gone through.
It was long before the wounds which they had inflicted were cured; and
as they never would heal unless I was kept in perfect quiet, I confined
myself to my cell for a considerable time; at the end of which, my
sprain had entirely taken its leave, and strength was restored to my
whole frame. Of course, my recovery was attributed to the thirteen
worthies, who had presided over the operation, and all the town became
more than ever persuaded of the efficacy of hot iron; but I could not
but think that long repose had been my best doctor--an opinion which
I took care to keep to myself; for I had no objection that the world
should believe that I was a protégé of so many holy personages.
I now determined to pursue my journey to Tehran; but before I ventured
to produce myself as a dervish upon that stage, I resolved to try my
talent in relating a story before a Semnan audience. Accordingly, I
went to a small open space, that is situated near the entrance of the
bazaars, where most of the idlers of the town flock about noon; and
making the sort of exclamations usual upon such occasions, I soon
collected a crowd, who settled themselves on the ground, round the place
which I had fixed upon for my theatre. A short story, touching a barber
at Bagdad (which I had heard when I was myself in that profession),
luckily came into my memory; and, standing in the middle of a circle
of louts with uplifted eyes and open mouths, I made my debut in the
following words:--
In the reign of the Caliph Haroun al-Rashid, of happy memory, lived in
the city of Bagdad a celebrated barber, of the name of Ali Sakal. He was
so famous for a steady hand, and dexterity in his profession, that
he could shave a head, and trim a beard and whiskers, with his eyes
blindfolded, without once drawing blood. There was not a man of any
fashion at Bagdad who did not employ him; and such a run of business had
he, that at length he became proud and insolent, and would scarcely ever
touch a head, whose master was not at least a _Beg_ or an _Aga_. Wood
for fuel was always scarce and dear at Bagdad; and as his shop consumed
a great deal, the wood-cutters brought their loads to him in preference,
almost sure of meeting with a ready sale. It happened one day, that a
poor wood-cutter, new in his profession, and ignorant of the character
of Ali Sakal, went to his shop, and offered him for sale a load of wood
which he had just brought from a considerable distance in the country,
on his ass: Ali immediately offered him a price, making use of these
words, _for all the wood that was upon the ass._ The woodcutter
agreed, unloaded his beast, and asked for the money. You have not given
me all the wood yet, said the barber; I must have the pack-saddle
(which is chiefly made of wood) into the bargain; that was our
agreement. How! said the other, in great amazement--who ever heard
of such a bargain?--it is impossible. In short, after many words and
much altercation, the overbearing barber seized the pack-saddle,
wood and all, and sent away the poor peasant in great distress. He
immediately ran to the cadi, and stated his griefs: the cadi was one of
the barbers customers, and refused to hear the case. The wood-cutter
applied to a higher judge: he also patronized Ali Sakal, and made light
of the complaint. The poor man then appealed to the mûfti himself; who,
having pondered over the question, at length settled, that it was too
difficult a case for him to decide, no provision being made for it in
the Koran, and therefore he must put up with his loss. The wood-cutter
was not disheartened; but forthwith got a scribe to write a petition to
the caliph himself, which he duly presented on Friday, the day when
he went in state to the mosque. The caliphs punctuality in reading
petitions is well known, and it was not long before the wood-cutter was
called to his presence. When he had approached the caliph, he kneeled
and kissed the ground, and then placing his arms straight before him,
his hands covered with the sleeves of his cloak, and his feet close
together, he awaited the decision of his case. Friend, said the
caliph, the barber has words on his side--you have equity on yours. The
law must be defined by words, and agreements must be made by words: the
former must have its course, or it is nothing; and agreements must be
kept, or there would be no faith between man and man; therefore the
barber must keep all his wood; but-- Then calling the wood-cutter close
to him, the caliph whispered something in his ear, which none but he
could hear, and then sent him away quite satisfied.
Here then I made a pause in my narrative, and said whilst I extended a
small tin cup which I held in my hand, Now, my noble audience, if
you will give me something I will tell you what the caliph said to the
wood-cutter. I had excited great curiosity, and there was scarcely one
of my hearers who did not give me a piece of money.
Well then, said I, the caliph whispered to the wood-cutter what he
was to do, in order to get satisfaction from the barber, and what that
was I will now relate. The wood-cutter having made his obeisances,
returned to his ass, which was tied without, took it by the halter, and
proceeded to his home. A few days after, he applied to the barber, as if
nothing had happened between them; requesting that he, and a companion
of his from the country, might enjoy the dexterity of his hand; and the
price at which both operations were to be performed was settled. When
the wood-cutters crown had been properly shorn, Ali Sakal asked where
his companion was. He is just standing without here, said the other,
and he shall come in presently. Accordingly he went out, and returned
leading his ass after him by the halter. This is my companion, said
he, and you must shave him. Shave him! exclaimed the barber, in the
greatest surprise; it is enough that I have consented to demean myself
by touching you, and do you insult me by asking me to do as much to your
ass? Away with you, or Ill send you both to _Jehanum_; and forthwith
drove them out of his shop.
The wood-cutter immediately went to the caliph, was admitted to his
presence, and related his case. Tis well, said the commander of
the faithful: bring Ali Sakal and his razors to me this instant, he
exclaimed to one of his officers; and in the course of ten minutes
the barber stood before him. Why do you refuse to shave this
mans companion? said the caliph to the barber: Was not that your
agreement? Ali, kissing the ground, answered: Tis true, O caliph,
that such was our agreement; but who ever made a companion of an ass
before? or who ever before thought of treating it like a true believer?
You may say right, said the caliph: but, at the same time, who ever
thought of insisting upon a pack-saddle being included in a load of
wood? No, no, it is the wood-cutters turn now. To the ass immediately,
or you know the consequences. The barber was then obliged to prepare
a great quantity of soap, to lather the beast from head to foot, and to
shave him in the presence of the caliph and of the whole court,
whilst he was jeered and mocked by the taunts and laughing of all the
bystanders. The poor wood-cutter was then dismissed with an appropriate
present of money, and all Bagdad resounded with the story, and
celebrated the justice of the commander of the faithful.