CHAPTER IX

SINFUL PERVERSENESS OF THE NATURAL WOMAN

Two months later a certain tension in the rectory of St. Antipas was

temporarily relieved. Like the spring of a watch wound too tightly, it

snapped one day at Nancy's declaration that she would go to Edom for a

time--would go, moreover, without a reason--without so much as a woman's

easy "because." This circumstance, while it froze in the bud every

available objection to her course, quelled none of the displeasure that

was felt at her woman's perversity.

Her decision was announced one morning after a sleepless night, and

after she had behaved unaccountably for three days.

"You are not pleasing Allan," was Aunt Bell's masterly way of putting

the situation. Nancy laughed from out of the puzzling reserve into which

she had lately settled.

"So he tells me, Aunt Bell. He utters it with the air of telling me

something necessarily to my discredit--yet I wonder whose fault it

really is."

"Well, of all things!" Aunt Bell made no effort to conceal her

amazement.

"It isn't necessarily mine, you know." Before the mirror she brought the

veil nicely about the edge of her hat, with the strained and solemn

absorption of a woman in this shriving of her reflection so that it may

go out in peace.

"My failure to please Allan, you know, may as easily be due to his

defects as to mine. I said so, but he only answered, 'Really, you're not

pleasing me.' And, as he often says of his own predicaments--'What could

I do?' But I'm glad he persists in it."

"Why, if you resent it so?"

"Because, Aunt Bell, I must be quite--_quite_ certain that Allan is

funny. It would be dreadful to make a mistake. If only I could be

certain--positive--convinced--sure--that Allan is the funniest thing in

all the world--"

"It never occurred to me that Allan is funny." Aunt Bell paused for an

instant's retrospect. "Now, he doesn't joke much."

"One doesn't have to joke to be a joke, Aunt Bell."

"But what if he were funny? Why is that so important?"

"Oh, it's important because of the other thing that you know you know

when you know that."

"Mercy! Child, you should have a cup of cocoa or something before you

start off--really--"

The last long hatpin seemingly pierced the head of Nancy and she turned

from the glass to fumble on her gloves.

"Aunt Bell, if Allan tells me once more in that hurt, gentle tone that I

don't please him, I believe I shall be the freest of free women--ready

to live."

She paused to look vacantly into the wall. "Sometimes, you know, I seem

to wake up with a clear mind--but the day clouds it. We shouldn't

believe so many falsities, Aunt Bell, if they didn't pinch our brains

into it at a tender age. I should know Allan through and through at a

glance to-day, if I met him for the first time; but he kneaded my poor

girl's brain this way and that, till I'd have been done for, Aunt Bell,

if some one else hadn't kneaded and patted it into other ways, so that

little memories come back and stay with me--little bits of sweetness and

genuineness--of _realness_, Aunt Bell."

"Nance, you are morbid--and I think you're wrong to go up there to be

alone with your sick fancies--why are you going, Nance?"

"Aunt Bell, can I really trust you not to betray me? Will you promise to

keep the secret if I actually tell you?"

Aunt Bell looked at once important and trustworthy, yet of an

incorruptible propriety.

"I'm sure, my dear, you would not ask me to keep secret anything that

your husband would be--"

"Dear, no! You can keep mum with a spotless conscience."

"Of course; I was sure of that!"

"What a fraud you are, Aunt Bell--you weren't sure at all--but I shall

disappoint you. Now my reason--" She came close and spoke low--"My

reason for going to Edom, whatever it is, is so utterly silly that I

haven't even dared to tell myself--so, you see--my _real_ reason for

going is simply to find out what my reason really is. I'm dying to know.

There! Now never say I didn't trust you."

In the first shock of this fall from her anticipations Aunt Bell

neglected to remember that All is Good. Yet she was presently far enough

mollified to accompany her niece to the station.

Returning from thence after she had watched Nancy through the gate to

the 3:05 Edom local, Aunt Bell lingered at the open study door of the

rector of St. Antipas. He looked up cordially.

"You know, Allan, it may do the child good, after all, to be alone a

little while."

"Nancy--has--not--pleased--me!" The words were clean-cut, with an

illuminating pause after each, so that Aunt Bell might by no chance

mistake their import, yet the tone was low and not without a quality of

winning sweetness--the tone of the injured good.

"I've seen that, Allan. Nance undoubtedly has a vein of selfishness.

Instead of striving to please her husband, she--well, she has

practically intimated to me that a wife has the right to please herself.

Of course, she didn't say it brutally in just those words, but--"

"It's the modern spirit, Aunt Bell--the spirit of unbelief. It has made

what we call the 'new woman'--that noxious flower on the stalk of

scientific materialism."

He turned and wrote this phrase rapidly on a pad at his elbow, while

Aunt Bell waited expectantly for more.

"There's a sermon that writes itself, Aunt Bell. 'Woman's deterioration

under Modern Infidelity to God.' As truly as you live, this thing called

the 'new woman' has grown up side by side with the thing called the

higher criticism. And it's natural. Take away God's word as revealed in

the Scriptures and you make woman a law unto herself. Man's state is

then wretched enough, but contemplate woman's! Having put aside Christ's

authority, she naturally puts aside _man's_, hence we have the creature

who mannishly desires the suffrage and attends club meetings and argues,

and has views--_views_, Aunt Bell, on the questions of the day--the

woman who, as you have just succinctly said of your niece, 'believes she

has a right to please herself!' There is the keynote of the modern

divorce evil, Aunt Bell--she has a right to please herself. Believing no

longer in God, she no longer feels bound by His commandment: 'Wives be

subject to your husbands!' Why, Aunt Bell, if you can imagine

Christianity shorn of all its other glories, it would still be the

greatest religion the world has ever known, because it holds woman

sternly in her sphere and maintains the sanctity of the home. Now, I

know nothing of the real state of Nancy's faith, but the fact that she

believes she has a right to please herself is enough to convince me. I

would stake my right arm this moment, upon just this evidence, that

Nancy has become an unbeliever. When I let her know as plainly as

English words can express it that she is not pleasing me, she looks

either sullen or flippant--thus showing distinctly a loss of religious

faith."

"You ought to make a stunning sermon of that, Allan. I think society

needs it."

"It does, Aunt Bell, it does! And we are going from bad to worse. I

foresee the time in this very age of ours when no woman will continue to

be wife to a man except by the dictates of her own lawless and corrupt

nature--when a wife will make so-called love her only rule--when she

will brazenly disregard the law of God and the word of his only begotten

crucified Son, unless she can continue to feel what she calls 'love and

respect' for the husband who chose her. We prize liberty, Aunt Bell, but

liberty with woman has become license since she lost faith in the word

of God that holds her subject to man. We should be thankful that the

mother Church still stands firm on that rock--the rock of woman's

subjection to man. Our own Church has quibbled, Aunt Bell, but look at

the fine consistency of the Church of Rome. As truly as you live, the

Catholic Church will one day hold the only women who subject themselves

to their husbands in all things because of God's command--regardless of

their anarchistic desire to 'please themselves.' There is the only

Christian Church left that knows woman is a creature to be ruled with an

iron hand--and has the courage to send them to hell for 'pleasing

themselves.'"

He glowed in meditation a moment, then, in a burst of confidence,

continued:

"This is not to be repeated, Aunt Bell, but I have more than once

questioned if I should always allow the Anglo-Catholic Church to modify

my true Catholicism. I have talked freely with Father Riley of St.

Clements at our weekly ministers' meetings--there's a bright chap for

you--and really, Aunt Bell, as to mere universality, the Church of Rome

has about the only claim worth considering. Mind you, this is not to be

repeated, but I am often so much troubled that I have to fall back on my

simple childish faith in the love of the Father earned of him for me by

the Son's death on the cross. But what if I err in making my faith too

simple? Even now I am almost persuaded that a priest ordained into the

Episcopal Church cannot consecrate the elements of the Eucharist in a

sacrificial sense. Doubts like these are tragedies to an honest man,

Aunt Bell--they try his soul--they bring him each day to the foot of

that cross whereon the Son of God suffers his agony in order to ransom

our souls from God's wrath with us--and there are times, Aunt Bell, when

I find myself gazing longingly, like a little tired child, at the open

arms of the mother Church--on whose loving bosom of authority a man may

lay all his doubts and be never again troubled in his mind."

Aunt Bell sighed cheerfully.

"After all," she said briskly, "isn't Christianity the most fascinating

of all beliefs, if one comes into it from the higher unbelief? Isn't it

fine, Allan--doesn't the very thought excite you--that not only the

souls of thousands now living, but thousands yet unborn, will be

affected through all eternity for good or bad, by the clearness with

which you, here at this moment, perceive and reason out these spiritual

values--and the honesty with which you act upon your conclusions. How

truly God has made us responsible for the souls of one another!"

The rector of St. Antipas shrugged modestly at this bald wording of his

responsibility; then he sighed and bent his head as one honestly

conscious of the situation's gravity.

The Seeker · 第 9 / 19 章