THE INTELLECT OF MISS INCHMAN
It was true that on that morning Mrs. Cliff had been standing in her
front yard looking as her best friends would not have liked her to look.
There was nothing physically the matter with her, but she was
dissatisfied and somewhat disturbed in her mind. Mr. Burke was so busy
nowadays that when he stopped in to see her it was only for a few
minutes, and Willy Croup had developed a great facility in discovering
things which ought to be attended to in various parts of the town, and
of going to attend to them with Andrew Marks to drive her.
Not only did Mrs. Cliff feel that she was left more to herself than she
liked, but she had the novel experience of not being able to find
interesting occupation. She was was glad to have servants who could
perform all the household duties, and could have done more if they had
had a chance. Still, it was unpleasant to feel that she herself could do
so little to fill up her unoccupied moments. So she put on a shawl and
went into her front yard, simply to walk about and get a little of the
fresh air. But when she went out of the door, she stood still
contemplating the front fence.
Here was a fence which had been an eyesore to her for two or three
years! She believed she had money enough to fence in the whole State,
and yet those shabby palings and posts must offend her eye every time
she came out of her door! The flowers were nearly all dead now, and she
would have had a new fence immediately, but Mr. Burke had dissuaded her,
saying that when the new dining-room was brought over from the corner
lot there would have to be a fence around the whole premises, and it
would be better to have it all done at once.
"There are so many things which I can afford just as well as not," she
said to herself, "and which I cannot do!" And it was the unmistakable
doleful expression upon her countenance, as she thought this, which was
the foundation of Miss Shott's remarks to her neighbors on the subject
of Mrs. Cliff's probable early demise.
Miss Shott was passing on the other side of the street, and she was
walking rapidly, but she could see more out of the corner of her eye
than most people could see when they were looking straight before them
at the same things.
Suddenly Mrs. Cliff determined that she must do something. She felt
blue,--she wanted to talk to somebody. And, feeling thus, she naturally
went into the house, put on her bonnet and her wrap, and walked down to
see Miss Cushing. There was not anything in particular that she wanted
to see her about, but there was work going on and she might talk about
it; or, it might happen that she would be inclined to give some orders.
She was always glad to do anything she could to help that hard-working
and kind-hearted neighbor!
When Mrs. Cliff entered the parlor of Miss Cushing, five women each gave
a sudden start. The dressmaker was so thrown off her balance that she
dropped her sewing on the floor, and rising, went forward to shake her
visitor by the hand, a thing she was not in the habit of doing to
anybody, because, as is well known to all the world, a person who is
sewing for a livelihood cannot get up to shake hands with the friends
and acquaintances who may happen in upon her. At this the other ladies
rose and shook hands, and it might have been supposed that the new-comer
had just returned from a long absence. Then Miss Cushing gave Mrs. Cliff
a chair, and they all sat down again.
Mrs. Cliff looked about her with a smile. The sight of these old friends
cheered her. All her blues were beginning to fade, as that color always
fades in any kind of sunshine.
"I'm glad to see so many of you together," she said. "It almost seems as
if you were having some sort of meeting. What is it about,--can't I join
in?"
At this there was a momentary silence which threatened to become very
embarrassing if it continued a few seconds more, and Miss Cushing was on
the point of telling the greatest lie of her career, trusting that the
other heirs would stand by her and support her in whatever statements
she made, feeling as they must the absolute necessity of saying
something instantly. But Miss Inchman spoke before any one else had a
chance to do so.
"You're right, Mrs. Cliff," said she, "we are considering something! We
didn't come here on purpose to talk about it, but we happened in
together, and so we thought we would talk it over. And we all came to
the conclusion that it was something which ought to be mentioned to you,
and I was asked to speak to you about it."
Four simultaneous gasps were now heard in that little parlor, and four
chills ran down the backs of four self-constituted heirs.
"I must say, Susan," remarked Mrs. Cliff, with a good-humored smile, "if
you want me to do anything, there's no need of being so wonderfully
formal about it! If any one of you, or all of you together, for that
matter, have anything to say to me, all you had to do was to come and
say it."
"They didn't seem to think that way," said Miss Inchman. "They all
thought that what was to be said would come better from me because I'd
known you so long, and we had grown up together."
"It must be something out of the common," said Mrs. Cliff. "What in the
world can it be? If you are to speak, Susan, speak out at once! Let's
have it!"
"That's just what I'm going to do," said Miss Inchman.
If Mrs. Cliff had looked around at the four heirs who were sitting
upright in their chairs, gazing in horror at Miss Inchman, she would
have been startled, and, perhaps, frightened. But she did not see them.
She was so much interested in what her old friend Susan was saying, that
she gave to her her whole attention.
But now that their appointed spokeswoman had announced her intention of
immediately declaring the object of the meeting, each one of them felt
that this was no place for her! But, notwithstanding this feeling, not
one of them moved to go. Miss Cushing, of course, had no excuse for
leaving, for this was her own house; and although the others might have
pleaded errands, a power stronger than their disposition to
fly--stronger even than their fears of what Mrs. Cliff might say to them
when she knew all--kept them in their seats. The spell of self-interest
was upon them and held them fast. Whatever was said and whatever was
done they must be there! At this supreme moment they could not leave the
room. They nerved themselves, they breathed hard, and listened!
"You see, Sarah," said Miss Inchman, "we must all die!"
"That's no new discovery," answered Mrs. Cliff, and the remark seemed to
her so odd that she looked around at the rest of the company to see how
they took it; and she was thereupon impressed with the idea that some of
them had not thought of this great truth of late, and that its sudden
announcement had thrown them into a shocked solemnity.
But the soul of Miss Cushing was more than shocked,--it was filled with
fury! If there had been in that room at that instant a loaded gun
pointed towards Miss Inchman, Miss Cushing would have pulled the
trigger. This would have been wicked, she well knew, and contrary to her
every principle, but never before had she been confronted by such
treachery!
"Well," continued Miss Inchman, "as we must die, we ought to make
ourselves ready for it in every way that we can. And we've been
thinking--"
At this moment the endurance of Mrs. Ferguson gave way. The pace and the
strain were too great for her. Each of the others had herself to think
for, but she had not only herself, but two daughters. She gave a groan,
her head fell back, her eyes closed, and with a considerable thump she
slipped from her chair to the floor. Instantly every one screamed and
sprang towards her.
"What in the world is the matter with her?" cried Mrs. Cliff, as she
assisted the others to raise the head of the fainting woman and to
loosen her dress.
"Oh, I suppose it's the thought of her late husband!" promptly replied
Miss Inchman, who felt that it devolved on her to say something, and
that quickly. Mrs. Cliff looked up in amazement.
"And what has Mr. Ferguson to do with anything?" she asked.
"Oh, it's the new cemetery I was going to talk to you about," said Miss
Inchman. "It has been spoken of a good deal since you went away, and we
all thought that if you'd agree to go into it--"
"Go into it!" cried Mrs. Cliff, in horror.
"I mean, join with the people who are in favor of it," said Miss
Inchman. "I haven't time to explain,--she's coming to now, if you'll all
let her alone! All I've time to say is, that those who had husbands in
the old graveyard and might perhaps be inclined to move them and put up
monuments, had the right to be first spoken to. Although, of course,
it's a subject which everybody doesn't care to speak about, and as for
Mrs. Ferguson, it's no wonder, knowing her as we do, that she went off
in this way when she knew what I was going to say, although, in fact, I
wasn't in the least thinking of Mr. Ferguson!"
The speaker had barely time to finish before the unfortunate lady who
had fainted, opened her eyes, looked about her, and asked where she was.
And now that she had revived, no further reference could be made to the
unfortunate subject which had caused her to swoon.
"I don't see," said Mrs. Cliff, as she stood outside with Miss Inchman,
a few minutes later, "why Mr. Ferguson's removal--I'm sure it isn't
necessary to make it if she doesn't want to--should trouble Mrs.
Ferguson any more than the thought of Mr. Cliff's removal troubles me.
I'm perfectly willing to do what I can for the new cemetery, and nobody
need think I'm such a nervous hysterical person that I'm in danger of
popping over if the subject is mentioned to me. So when you all are
ready to have another meeting, I hope you will let me know!"
When Mrs. Ferguson felt herself well enough to sit up and take a glass
of water, with something stimulating in it, she was informed of the
nature of the statements which had been finally made to Mrs. Cliff.
"You know, of course," added Miss Cushing, still pale from unappeased
rage, "that that Susan Inchman began as she did, just to spite us!"
"It's just like her!" said Mrs. Archibald. "But I never could have
believed that such a dried codfish of a woman could have so much
intellect!"